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It’s the most giftiest time of the year! But one person you can cross off your list is Shaquille O’Neal. Shaq does not want your gifts, nor any from his friends and family. If you get him something, it will be relocated — unopened — to a storage room he has kept for 30 years. Like his own take on the island of misfit toys, he has a locker of forgotten presents. So what gives with his anti-gift stance? Well, Shaq prefers to play offensive by being a bestower of gifts, rather than a wide receiver of them himself (yes, I know I’m mixing sportsball metaphors). He recently talked with People Mag about his present preferences, while also promoting a new vile heinous special holiday product:

Shaquille O’Neal takes his role as Santa Claus seriously.

The former NBA star tells PEOPLE that he doesn’t accept gifts from anyone when chatting about his new commercial for Pepsi Zero Sugar Gingerbread Mini Cans. “I always tell my family, ‘Show me a movie where Santa receives a gift and I’ll let you buy me a gift,’” the basketball legend explains. … “I don’t accept gifts,” the NBA Hall of Famer continues, noting that the selfless act started in 1992 “when [he] became the breadwinner of the family.”

“As long as everybody else is happy, I’m happy,” he adds.

When his children (or anyone!) give O’Neal a present, he doesn’t even open the gift. “I take it, I got a storage room with 30 years worth of gifts, I’ll open it up one day,” he says.

Choosing the right gifts comes easier now that his children are older, O’Neal explains. “It’s easy because all they want is cash,” he laughs. “But when they were young, it was much harder. I would have to go into Toys R Us [at] like 11:58, right before they closed and then just wipe them out. A lot of times, they didn’t want me to come in Toys R Us early because they didn’t want me to buy all the toys so I’d have to come in late, right before closing. Thye let me take the leftovers.”

O’Neal’s latest partnership is helping him get his head in the Christmas game even further. On Wednesday, Dec. 4, a commercial for Pepsi’s latest limited-time product, Pepsi Zero Sugar Gingerbread Mini Cans, dropped and the basketball icon was at the center of it.

…You won’t find Pepsi Zero Sugar Gingerbread Mini Cans in your oven — or grocery store. Fans can get the seasonal flavor on Pepsi’s official TikTok Shop — but there’s still a little catch. TikTokers will only score a free Pepsi Zero Sugar Gingerbread Mini Can (while supplies last) by purchasing two 10-packs of Pepsi Mini Cans in another flavor.

Soda lovers can also visit Pepsi’s official site to enter for a chance to score Pepsi Zero Sugar Gingerbread Mini Cans now through Dec. 11.

[From People]

I can appreciate someone of Shaquille O’Neal’s wealth and success deciding not to accept gifts, and there is a wonderful gift in itself when you know you’ve given someone a thing they truly cherish. That being said, I have several logistical questions, the most obvious first one being: what about perishables? Do people in Shaq’s orbit know not to give him food that will rot? Has anyone ever learned of his storage room years after giving him home-baked goods, and followed up to tell him he needs to sniff out and toss a package? But of course the key question is, why save all of them unopened in a storage unit for decades? Why is he doing that, instead of opening the boxes to see what’s inside, and redistributing/donating them to where they will be used and enjoyed? Say someone got him the very first iPod — it’s woefully out of date now, but if he had given it away in 2001 to someone who could not have afforded it themselves, it would at least have had a useful life. Also, how does he write his thank you notes?!

As for the project Shaq is currently promoting… I’m a Coca Cola girl myself, but I have enjoyed a Pepsi now and then. I also enjoy the taste of gingerbread. But in the name of all that is good and right and holy, I do not, ever, want to experience those flavors blended together in a soda! (Let alone a zero sugar one!) So if anyone tries springing that sh-t on me, I’ll be investing in my own storage room for unopened beverages.

Please soda responsibly this holiday season.

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