The Hill is a DC-based political publication with a right-wing bent. They usually stick to soft-pedaling stories about Republican clowns and crying about Democrats. Well, The Hill published an absolutely unhinged column about Prince Harry, the royal court of Montecito and the coronation. It’s called “King Charles’s ‘Harry and Meghan problem’ grows as coronation nears” and it was written by Mark Toth and Jonathan Sweet. As I opened this up, I thought “well, it’s just going to be a weird piece in the American press about how King Charles screwed himself over by forcing his younger son into exile.” But no – this is the most bonkers political analysis I’ve ever read about why King Charles needs to rein in Harry’s power. In Montecito. Part of it reads like a satire but it’s not a satire. Some highlights:

Prince Harry is just like the Duke of Windsor, you guys: Kingdoms, heirs, and “spares” seldom amalgamate well. Neither do recalcitrant English dukes who have lost their way. In an echo of history, but with a Meghan Markle twist 87 years later, Prince Harry, Duke of Sussex, is setting up a parallel court to Buckingham Palace in Montecito, Calif., just as his great uncle Edward, Duke of Windsor, once did in Paris after abdicating the English throne in 1936. Yet, whereas Edward’s post-abdication court was only problematic due to the appearance of proximity to Nazi Germany in the lead-up to World War II, Harry’s Hollywood version is global in intent — and the damage being caused to the United Kingdom’s national security and that of its allies, including the United States, is very real.

The Sussexes are more problematic than Nazi-sympathizers: Whereas Edward and his wife Wallis, Duchess of Windsor, sought to establish an inward-looking court to live out their lives as “outcasts” as best they could, exiled in the shadows, the deeply troublesome Harry and Meghan, are not willing to go quietly into the Pacific night. Arguably, their version of a Netflix-funded parallel court is also intended as a rival court to King Charles III now, and subsequently to William, Prince of Wales, as heir apparent, in the future.

Harry is doing damage to democracy!! Harry and Meghan’s self-serving machinations might be laughable if King Charles were not the head of state and the world were not gripped by an increasingly existential battle between the Western-style democracies on one side and China, Russia, North Korea and Iran on the other. But he is just that — and we very much are “sliding” into a new and dangerous cold war. Consequently, the Duke and Duchess would do well to remember that reading the room in Southern California is not the same as reading the room on a global stage.

Harry is a national security threat?? By the time Harry’s autobiography, “Spare,” was released in January, it was clear something far deeper and more ominous was in play, in terms of national security. As Harry bandied about his “truths,” only for the wayward prince and Meghan to become a caricature of themselves in a “South Park” episode, the two would-be Hollywood monarchs continued to remain oblivious to the damage they were doing to the West as a whole and the United Kingdom in particular.

William & Harry’s war is a victory for China and Russia: Now, amidst the bloody war in Ukraine, the fast-approaching coronation of King Charles at Westminster Abbey is exactly 30 days from today in May, and the king’s sons are embroiled in a brotherly fight that Beijing and Moscow will win if Harry’s war against King Charles and Prince William remains unchecked.

Harry is hurting NATO by taking the Mail to court: Harry has done it again — this time foolishly, if not recklessly, indirectly benefiting Putin. During Prince William’s two-day surprise trip to Poland two weeks ago, at the request of the British government to visit Ukrainian refugees and U.K. front line troops stationed in Rzeszow near Ukraine’s border, Harry upstaged his brother’s efforts in Poland to rally Ukraine’s cause by needlessly flying in from Los Angeles and appearing alongside singer-songwriter Elton John and other celebrities in a procedural hearing in a London High Court. The lawsuit relates to a privacy claim against the owners of The Daily Mail that is already collapsing because of the recantation of Gavin Burrows, a key Harry witness, to the extent the creators of “South Park” are soon likely to lampoon in a World Wide Privacy Tour 2.0 sequel.

WHAT IS HAPPENING: As British royal historian Hugo Vickers told us in a comment for this piece, when we asked how the one-time “spare” to the English throne has jeopardized British national security, Harry “has surely put himself and his family at risk.” First, as Vickers noted, by being “unwise to discuss military matters,” and now, in our own opinion, by unleashing a series of assaults against the constitutional duties and responsibilities his family is tasked to carry out on behalf of the U.K. and its national security.

After all that, they’re trying to convince Harry to go back to England: King Charles needs both his sons and only Harry can decide if he is up to fulfilling his responsibility to his father and his country, either in dutiful silence in Montecito or by taking his own Ivan-style “freedom flight” back to Windsor Castle to stand by his father and brother in a time of global conflict.

[From The Hill]

Don’t you get it? Adolf Hitler wanted to install his sympathetic ally the Duke of Windsor back onto the British crown to oversee a Third Reich-vichy government in Britain, but all of that was nothing compared to Prince Harry writing a successful memoir, you guys. NATO is in danger because Harry is suing the Daily Mail! Democracy, as we know it, will fall because the Sussexes are popular and successful at building their brand. In summary, Harry and Meghan are the greatest threat to international security of the West AND they need to return to England to serve King Charles. Got it?

Photos courtesy of Instar.