Buckingham Palace and Kensington Palace threw hissy fits this past weekend, all about a rumor they started: that Prince Harry had “offered” to come back temporarily to do some royal work while his father is being treated for cancer. Harry possibly made that offer to his father in their brief private meeting two weeks ago, but Harry was not the one who leaked that offer to the Times this weekend. Harry was also not behind any of the ridiculous columns and thinkpieces about how his 25-hour visit could be the start of a real “reconciliation.” The Windsors and their media handlers are flat-out desperate for the Sussexes to return, but only on Windsor/media terms. Which isn’t going to happen, and so Prince William spent three full days screaming, crying and throwing up about how he will never allow Harry to come back. Meanwhile, even the Times of London acknowledges that Charles and William need some reinforcements. From Jenni Russell’s “Fragile royal family requires reinforcements.”

How Russell used to think. A modern Britain didn’t need this extensive clan.Even before his disgrace, Prince Andrew looked like a man without sufficient purpose. There were already rumours of Prince Harry’s discontent. It would be far better to liberate all those outside the line of succession from royal expectations and allow them their own careers and independent lives. The future king and his advisers thought the same. Even before his accession it was understood that Charles intended to cut the number of working royals. Frankly, both the King and I were wrong. The royal family suddenly looks fragile and thinned out. With both the King and the Princess of Wales seriously unwell, it’s abruptly apparent how few working royals there are.

Too old: Most are in their seventies and eighties. Of the 11 currently working members, only four — the prince and princess of Wales and the duke and duchess of Edinburgh — are under 60; two will soon turn 90. Nobody from the next generation is being lined up for the working roster until ten-year-old Prince George comes of age.

William’s appearance at the investiture two weeks ago: A fortnight ago Prince William held an investiture, on duty for the first time since the family illnesses. On arrival he was bleak, distracted, swaying on his feet. He looked a man bearing too much alone. Even Prince Harry, who rejected his royal role, has spotted the gap and offered to fill in while his father is ill, although it is improbable his family would welcome such an unreliable member back.

Not enough royals to cover these events: Buckingham Palace is overwhelmed with requests for royal attention. Already it cannot meet demand. The death of the Queen has left hundreds of organisations without the royal patron they were proud of. Those patronages are not automatically transferred; a request can be made to a new sovereign, as the Royal Society of Portrait Painters has done, but because a patronage entails time and obligation it may well be refused. Rationalists and republicans are bewildered by this. Why, they wonder, should anyone feel uplifted by proximity to the members of a hereditary family, there by accidents of conquest, battle, infertility, religious disqualification and premature death? I once felt the same. I didn’t appreciate the triple appeal of recognition, history and mystique.

The slimmed-down monarchy was a mistake: It’s a mistake for Britain to prune the royal roster to its core when its members can perform this unique unifying function across its nations and classes, generating excitement, validation and pride simply by showing up. The dutiful King is cutting back because he wants to retain public support by being leaner and smaller. The opposite is true: Britons living in hard and divisive times are badly in need of a calm, apolitical, supportive presence. Harry may be beyond redemption but the King should enlist his nieces and nephews: the princesses Beatrice and Eugenie, Lady Louise, Viscount Severn, if they will serve, to strengthen the family team.

[From The Times]

Again, Lady Louise is in college! Leave her alone! Viscount Severn (Sophie and Edward’s son) is only 16 years old! Leave him alone! Princess Eugenie already has one foot out the door and she lives part-time in Portugal, so please leave her alone too. Granted, Princess Beatrice genuinely wants to work for the Firm, and so does her husband. So it’s actually kind of bonkers that Beatrice hasn’t been given more to do, even on a temporary basis. In any case, none of this is new – people always knew that the slimmed-down monarchy was going to be very old and very lazy, and they have no one to blame but themselves. Charles, Camilla, William and Kate wanted all of the attention, all of the spotlight, all of the stolen treasure to themselves. They got it. Enjoy it, dumbasses.

Photos courtesy of Avalon Red, Cover Images.