As a general rule of thumb, wild animals should be left alone by humans (note to RFK Jr: that still stands even if the animal is no longer alive). They may be cute woodland creatures or majestic beasts, and yes there can be exceptions where a particular critter forms a bond with an individual. But overall our intervening more often than not affects them adversely, if they become too expectant/dependent on humans providing them meals. And, you know, they are still wild, and have the potential to act at any moment with instinctual ferocity. Or you could have this bizarre scenario play out in your front yard: a woman in Washington State has been feeding neighborhood raccoons for 35 years. It was a manageable task for her, akin to leaving food out for stray cats. Until last week, when she called the police because 100 raccoons had shown up on her property. Even the police were startled upon arriving on the scene, though thankfully for us, they captured excellent video and photography to share with the world.

According to NBC News, the woman — who has not been named — was forced to call the police after her yard was swarmed by about 100 raccoons.

Per the outlet, police told NBC affiliate KUSA on Monday, Oct. 7 that the woman from Poulsbo, Wash. began feeding local raccoons 35 years ago, but had never experienced any issues until recently.

“Somehow the word got out in raccoon land and they all showed up to her house expecting a meal,” said Kitsap County Sheriff spokesperson Kevin McCarty.

On Thursday, Oct. 3 the woman called 911 after the animals prevented her from entering her home.

McCarty said that police “were shocked” by the site.

“They had never seen that many raccoons in one place,” the spokesperson said. “Nobody ever remembers being surrounded by a swarm of raccoons. This was a first.”

On Monday, the Kitsap County Sheriff shared a video on X (formerly known as Twitter) featuring the brace of raccoons waiting to be fed.

“On Patrol: Raccoon Invasion,” the police department’s caption read.

In the video, a large group of raccoons can be seen in a woodland area.

Per the report in the video, the woman had to escape the creatures by running away in her car.

The woman said that the sudden increase in raccoons happened “six weeks ago,” adding that the animals surround her during the day and at night for food.

According to the report, she’s albo been quoted prices as high as $500 per raccoon for the entrapment and relocation of the animals.

The Washington State Department of Fish and Wildlife has been contacted by deputies to help find a solution for the raccoons.

[From People]

Well, for anyone who’s ever wondered, “What would Hitchcock’s ‘The Birds’ be like with raccoons instead?” — this is your preview! I’m fairly confident that the only person who is surprised that a sh-t ton of raccoons finally descended to demand more food… is the woman who’s been giving them food for 35 years. In the video clip, you hear a police officer asking when their numbers started blowing up, and she replies, “Six weeks ago!” But she says it with such indignation! I had to chuckle, even though I would be freaked the f–k out if 100 raccoons showed up at my home (who am I kidding, I live in NYC, there are probably twice that many working the trash cans at night). But the difference is that I wouldn’t be feeding those rascals in the first place!

So how does everyone move forward from this stalemate in Kitsap County, Washington? Mathing it out, $500/raccoon X 100 raccoons = a full college tuition (one year or the whole degree, depending on the school). I can understand the homeowner feeling scared and despondent with those numbers. On the other hand, the raccoons are clearly just coming to collect on the social contract that she initiated. I mean sure, it’s a little dramatic of them to wait it out a few decades, build out their families, and then randomly appear en masse to take charge of the situation. But just look at their fanciful tails and high-contrast eye makeup — of course they’re going to be drama queens! Anyway, best of luck to all involved in the future peace negotiations (and fingers crossed that doesn’t include raccoon-genocide advocate Ana Navarro).

Photos credit Ennif Pendahl on Pexels and Kitsap County Sheriff’s Department via Instagram/Facebook