Out of all the dumb moments during Trump’s joint address to congress earlier this month (of which there were many), was when he paused to wax poetic on how beautiful the word “tariff” was. That speech came on the heels of Trump announcing tariffs against Canada and Mexico for the second time, before quickly backtracking and delaying for another month (as he did the first time). Anyway, one of Sleep Mango’s justifications for the tariffs was to stop the “invasion!” of migrants and fentanyl illegally crossing our borders. Well, the numbers are in, and seizures at the border are up 116%!!! FOR EGGS. Fentanyl seizures, on the other hand, are down by 32%. Trump’s America: where the contraband people are smuggling, if not straight up stealing is… eggs.

Officials made 3,254 egg-related seizures in January and February 2025, according to new data released by U.S. Customs and Border Protection (CBP). That’s a 116 per cent increase in egg seizures compared to the 1,508 events the same two months a year ago.

The rise comes as U.S. wholesale egg prices are shattering records as an accelerating outbreak of bird flu in laying hens slashes supplies. Trump promised to lower egg prices on his first day in office but prices increased 59 per cent on a year-on-year basis in February, the first full month of his administration.

And while wholesale prices may be coming back down, they “have yet to be reflected at store shelves,” according to the USDA’s most recent egg markets overview.

Egg interceptions at the Detroit border crossing (where most eggs are coming in from Canada) increased 36 per cent in the 2025 fiscal year compared to the same time period in 2024, according to data provided by CBP to CBC News.

In Windsor, Ont., a dozen large white eggs at Walmart currently costs about $3.93. On the other side of the border in Michigan, a dozen large white eggs at Walmart costs about $8.50 Cdn.

Overall, the U.S. CBP reports a 36 per cent increase in eggs being detained at all ports of entry this fiscal year, which is October 2024 to February 2025.

These numbers do not capture what is actually smuggled into the country, although CBP says most of the egg seizures happen after travellers willingly declare the product.

Fentanyl, on the other hand, was intercepted by CBP 134 times in January and February this year, down 32 per cent from 197 seizures the same two months in 2024. Of those 134 events in 2025, nine were at the northern border with Canada, working out to 0.53 kilograms of the 740 kilograms seized so far overall.

Canada has represented less than one per cent of all seized fentanyl imports into the U.S., according to federal data. About 19.5 kilograms was seized at the northern border last year compared to 9,570 kilograms at the southwestern border.

The latest monthly Consumer Price Index showed a dozen Grade A eggs costs an average of $5.90 US, or about $8.40 Cdn, in U.S. cities in February, up 10.4 per cent from a year ago. That eclipsed January’s record-high price of $4.95 US, or about $7 Cdn.

[From CBC News]

One of the reasons why Canadian eggs are more plentiful and affordable now is because Canada incentivizes smaller poultry farms. This means that when, say, a lethal bird flu pops up, wherein the protocol is to slaughter all the chickens on the farm to prevent the disease spreading, fewer chickens are lost as a result. Compared to the millions of hens packed onto American farms, coupled with the greedy nature of American capitalism, multiplied by the current administration taking a John Deere chainsaw to federal support programs for farmers, and yeah… We’ve laid an egg.

MSNBC had some coverage the other day of Trump voters being polled over Zoom about how they think things are going so far. To broadly summarize, the consensus was, “I just wanted prices to go down. I didn’t think he’d do all this, and now I’m scared.” At which point I involuntarily went into a Tasmanian Devil impersonation at my TV. So here we are at two months in: on the brink of, if not already knee-deep in a constitutional crisis as Trump decimates the federal government by following the Project 2025 playbook. And of course, not one single thing he’s done has made the cost of living better in any way. The one issue, apparently so important to voters that it outweighed whether the American Experiment itself could survive under Trump 2.0, and the baby-fisted man hasn’t even delivered on that. Maybe if we accept King Charles’ offer to join the Commonwealth, we’ll finally get some reasonably-priced eggs again.

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