John Mayer1

The douche duo of the West, John Mayer and Rob Dyrdek, left MyHouse in L.A. last night wearing matching monogrammed velvet smoking jackets and with two pumas (that one was for you, Aniston) on their arms. John said that the ladies weren’t their mothers, but their dates. Let’s all do the eyeball wave! Roll to the left!

Whatever the case may be, John’s lady friend is giving me Lynda Carter fever and has confirmed to us all that dressing like a Dynasty character going to a funeral is always a good idea. When all else fails, ask yourself, "What would Alexis Carrington wear to Krystle’s future funeral?"

Before getting into the car, John’s date either tripped on her own glamour or was overwhelmed by the piping hot douche fumes in the air, because she went down! Ugh. I hope home cougar is getting PAID.