King Charles was in Sandringham over the weekend, where he stepped out for church on Sunday. He came back to London on Monday or Tuesday, and on Wednesday, he did his first in-person “audience” with Prime Minister Rishi Sunak since he was diagnosed with cancer. It felt like Charles was avoiding most in-person meetings, but the “weekly audience” couldn’t be done via Zoom, so here we are. In Charles’s case, the prime minister meetings seem to be more like “once a fortnight” or “once a month.” My guess is that Sunak also agreed ahead of time to the videographer and photographers recording the first few minutes of the meeting too. They met at Buckingham Palace.

Britain’s King Charles said during a meeting with Prime Minister Rishi Sunak on Wednesday he had been reduced to tears by messages of good will following his cancer diagnosis. The palace announced earlier this month that Charles, 75, had been diagnosed with a form of cancer, less than 18 months into his reign.

“I’ve had so many wonderful messages and cards … it’s reduced me to tears most of the time,” Charles said during his weekly audience with Sunak.

“Everyone is behind you,” Sunak responded.

The monarch holds weekly audiences alone with the prime minister, although occasionally cameras have been allowed to capture the start of the meetings. Wednesday’s meeting is the first formal in-person audience Charles has held with Sunak since it was revealed that he was suffering from an unspecified form of cancer. Buckingham Palace has said the king will continue to carry out state business and his official paperwork while he undergoes cancer treatment.

Sunak began the exchange by telling Charles it was wonderful to see him looking so well.

“Well it’s all done by mirrors,” Charles joked.

[From Reuters]

This actually made me a little bit sad. I know Charles is a terrible father and he destroyed his first marriage and all of that, but still… he’s really feeling his mortality these days and I think his cancer treatments have knocked him on his ass. I feel sorry for him.

Now, I do want to talk about the timing of this – Charles ensures that he’s seen doing state business and meeting with Sunak just a day after his heir dove headfirst into an international political situation? In recent days, there has been a lot of commentary about how Charles’s reign will be short and “this is how King William will rule” and… yeah, I think Charles wanted to remind everyone that he’s still here.

Photos courtesy of Cover Images.

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By all accounts, Blake Lively is a pretty hands-on mom. She has four children with husband Ryan Reynolds, daughters James, nine, Inez, seven, and Betty, four, and a fourth child who we don’t know anything about other than they are already a year old. Maybe Taylor Swift will give us the hot goss on Baby #4 in her next album. Anyway, this year’s Super Bowl looked a lot different than last year’s for Blake, when she used the occasion to slyly reveal via Instagram that she’d given birth. As you probably know, Blake has been Taylor Swift’s +1 at a lot of Kansas City Chiefs games this season, including the Super Bowl. There was even a hilarious Insta post from Ryan with the Deadpool trailer on the TV in the background as he asked, “Has anyone seen my wife?” We did see her, Ryan!

As it turns out, Blake’s trip to Vegas was her first overnight away from her kids, and she lived it up! In a funny post this week, she talked about her night of freedom. She wore crazy clothes, borrowed a lot of jewelry, took silly pictures, and went clubbing! Oh, what a night.

“Last week I left my kids for the first time ever,” Blake wrote on Instagram Feb. 20, referring to her and Ryan’s daughters James, 9, Inez, 7, and Betty, 4, as well as a fourth child whose birth they revealed in February 2023.

And for her rare mom’s night out, she went all out with her Super Bowl look, noting that it was also first time that she “wore pants that were shoes.”

Sharing new photos of the girls’ trip, Blake gave a closer look at her red Adidas track suit—complete with the shoe pants—while she posed in her Las Vegas hotel room. The Gossip Girl actress also showed off her stunning bracelet collection, joking that she “borrowed more jewelry than the skeleton in the Pirates of the Caribbean ride.”

One of her bracelets was even dedicated to husband Ryan and featured the Deadpool & Wolverine poster design, with Blake adding, “I treated a friendship bracelet like a Flat Stanley for my husband like I didn’t realize it wasn’t ’07.”

After witnessing the Chiefs take home the trophy, the 36-year-old then joined in on the afterparty celebrations, though she joked that maybe a night of partying is no longer for her. “I went clubbing,” she quipped. “Now I know what my episode of the Twilight Zone would look like.”

[From E Online]

Hey, good for Blake! I think every mom understands the need for a little “me time” and what a better first trip away than a quick overnighter to watch your bestie’s boyfriend win the Super Bowl? And good on Ryan for setting the example that dads are parents who take care of their kids too and not just glorified babysitters. I had no idea until I saw the picture that her pants were also shoes. Blake has always been willing to try new fashion, so power to her, I guess. Having my pants attached to my shoes would make me feel like I’m wearing the bottom half of a child’s onesie, though! I also think the “Flat Stanley” Deadpool/Wolverine friendship bracelet was an adorable touch. Nice, subtle promotion to the Swifties.

When Blake got home, she recreated Ryan’s “where’s my wife” post, only captioned it, “Honey I’m home. My day was good. Yours?” Ryan and Blake’s public relationship where they tease and troll each other cracks me up and really endears both of them to me. I relate: Last week, Mr. Rosie made a Valentine’s Day post about me with unfortunate, funny pictures of me. I wasn’t mad at all. In fact, I’m currently plotting my revenge for his birthday post next month.

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The Guardian is basically the only British newspaper regularly questioning what the hell is going on with the Windsors. It’s mostly being done by Guardian columnists, but still. Recently, the Guardian published an extremely accurate column about the Sussexes’ trip to Jamaica, and how Harry and Meghan really could have been Britain’s best ambassadors, mostly because Meghan is “soft power dynamite.” Especially in comparison to diplomatic “kryptonite” William and Kate. Late last year, as Omid Scobie’s Endgame was making waves and there was a new round of “royal racism” talk, Zoe Williams wrote a funny piece in the Guardian about how the Windsors are “simply not in the intellectual shape to fight” accusations of racism. Well, Williams is back with her take on Prince William’s extremely bad performance at the BAFTAs, an organization for which he has served as president for fourteen years.

Actors know how to pose: The photos – all those magnificent faces that only actors know how to make – the “I’m so surprised to have won on this completely unsurprising occasion” face; the “of course I don’t mind not winning, the winner who won is, by happy chance, much more important to me than myself” face; the knowing side-eye, the straight-down-the-lens candour, the beaming sincerity. These are faces only the pros can make perfect. If the rest of us tried any of them, we’d look like we just got caught shoplifting.

And then there’s William: And into this Bafta array, as its president, steps Prince William. This job was not really optional for him. The only time in the organisation’s history that it hasn’t been led by a member of the royal family is when it was Richard Attenborough, who is like royal-plus. William, grinning at the rising stars Phoebe Dynevor, Ayo Edebiri, Sophie Wilde and Mia McKenna-Bruce, hits the summit of his endearing awkwardness. In the great schism of the princes, in which all right-thinking Britons were supposed to pick a side, everyone who chose the elder and who was not motivated by fervour against the wokerati, misogynoir or keenly felt anti-Americanism was really responding to William’s self-consciousness.

William can’t even do the bare bones of the job: But it’s just so relatable. Which of us hasn’t smiled a little too widely, in anxiety, and then suddenly found in the moment that using all those muscles is surprisingly taxing, and then forgotten what we were going to say, and, oh, hell, now the terror is in our eyes, that’s not going to help, and now we’ve forgotten our name, all we can remember is that we had one job, for which we’ve been preparing all our lives, which is to be able to talk and smile, if not simultaneously, at least in quick succession?

Rictus grin formations: OK, that’s two jobs. But which of us hasn’t felt like that? A body language expert told me recently that King Charles is always playing with his cufflinks and Prince Harry is always buttoning the button that’s already buttoned. These are self-comforting moves to deal with social anxiety. But Prince William is off the scale, seeking comfort in rictus grin formations that most evolved humans don’t know how to activate any more, having last used them trying to make peace with a cheetah.

[From The Guardian]

Yes, this was an entire column devoted to William’s awkwardness. He’s remarkably charisma-free and incapable of simply standing with a group of actors and making small talk. That’s it – he can’t do it. It reminds me a bit of when they sent Prince Edward and Sophie to the Royal Variety show and Sophie was incredibly rude to comedian Frank Skinner, who had simply donated his time for a good cause. William was blundering around at the BAFTAs, telling people he didn’t watch any of their films and suggesting that an actress had a lot of “fun” on a film where her character is raped. He’s just… deeply incapable.

Photos courtesy of Avalon Red.

Last year, we kept hearing stories about President Biden’s dog Commander Biden. Commander was given to the Bidens as a gift, after the Bidens had to send their beloved dog Major Biden away from the White House because Major kept “biting” people. Commander was just a puppy when he came to the White House, and many hoped that, with the proper training, Commander would be a friendly family dog. But according to the (delicious) Secret Service agents, Commander has the same “biting problem” as Major. The Secret Service claimed they had meticulously documented eleven biting incidents last year, which was weird because their meticulous record-keeping was nonexistent when it came to domestic terrorism on January 6th, 2021.

The issue with Commander’s biting problem became contentious within the White House – other people’s experiences with Commander were that he was a friendly, well-adjusted dog, and reportedly, the Bidens kind of thought that the Secret Service agents were lying about some of the incidents. Still, the Bidens sent Commander away as well and he’s been absent from the White House for like four months already. The White House press corps loves to write about this sh-t though, which is why CNN FOIA-requested the Secret Service’s records on Commander. Apparently, they recorded 24 biting incidents.

Commander Biden, President Joe Biden’s family dog, bit US Secret Service personnel in at least 24 incidents at the White House and other locations, according to new internal USSS documents obtained by CNN.

That number does not include additional incidents CNN has previously reported involving executive residence staff and other White House workers. But the new documents, obtained through a Freedom of Information Act request, reveal the extent to which the situation had become a serious workplace issue for the hundreds of staff supporting White House operations, and how agency personnel changed their habits to avoid being injured by the German shepherd.

“The recent dog bites have challenged us to adjust our operational tactics when Commander is present – please give lots of room,” an unnamed assistant special agent in charge of USSS’ Presidential Protective Division wrote to their team in a June 2023 email, warning that agents “must be creative to ensure our own personal safety.”

That warning came months before the dog was removed from the White House, with multiple biting incidents taking place in the interim.

CNN has reviewed more than 400 pages of documents, many of which were heavily redacted to protect USSS personnel anonymity and operational details. In October 2022, an unnamed Secret Service technician described an incident and said they were “worried about the family pets behavior escalating and that … something worse was going to happen to others.”

The documented incidents included members of the Secret Service’s uniformed division, members of the president’s protective detail and other USSS officials. They took place inside and outside of the White House residence, but also at Biden family homes in Wilmington and Rehoboth Beach, Delaware, at Camp David, and in Nantucket, Massachusetts, where the first family spends the Thanksgiving holiday.

A source close to the Biden family told CNN that the Biden family feels “awful” and has been “heartbroken” over the spate of biting incidents.

“They’ve been heartbroken over this. They’ve apologized to those who have been bitten, taken flowers to some. They feel awful. Commander was over-protective, and even though they tried and tried to work on it, they had to let him go live with other members of their family,” the source said.

[From CNN]

Commander really was out there barking “ACAB” all the time. Like, do I believe that the Secret Service agents were being purposefully melodramatic about two different dogs? Yes. Do I believe that Major and Commander were both bitey? Also yes. Do I believe that there’s something really f–ked up happening within the USSS? 100%. Not for nothing, but I honestly think some of this is just the breed – German shepherds are protective animals and both Major and Commander were trying to be good guard dogs for their mom and dad. I always believed that Commander, being so young when he came to the White House, was just doing puppy things and he didn’t know his own strength when he nipped people. But yeah, whatever. The dogs were sent away from the White House, it’s over.

Photos courtesy of Avalon Red, The White House, Backgrid.

King Charles is still receiving weekly cancer treatments. His new habit is to come into London at the start of the week for the treatments, then he goes back to Sandringham and spends the rest of the week there. Reportedly, Charles is still eager to be seen/photographed, which is why he’s made a point of going to church at Sandringham every Sunday and waving at photographers. He’s also done what are essentially drive-by photocalls from the car in London too. We can read between the lines though – his cancer treatments have knocked him on his ass and no one knows if or when Charles will be “back to work” in any public way. Speaking of, it’s now been confirmed that Charles will not attend the memorial service for the late King Constantine, one of his close friends and his second cousin. Queen Camilla will attend the service in her husband’s place. There’s no mention of whether the late Greek king’s godson, Prince William, will even bother to attend.

The King is to miss a thanksgiving service for his close friend and second cousin King Constantine of Greece as he continues his treatment for cancer. The Queen will lead members of the royal family as they gather in St George’s Chapel, Windsor Castle, on February 27 in honour of the former ruler and last King of Greece who was toppled from the throne decades ago in a military coup.

Constantine II – a first cousin once removed and sailing partner of Prince Philip, the late Duke of Edinburgh – died at the age of 82 in January last year. Charles had a close friendship with Constantine, choosing him as a godfather for son William, now the Prince of Wales. The former monarch was also godfather to Prince and Princess of Michael of Kent’s daughter Lady Gabriella Kingston.

Charles, 75, who was diagnosed with an undisclosed form of cancer just over a fortnight ago, is not carrying out public duties while he has treatment.

Camilla and other family members will be joined by the late King’s widow Queen Anne-Marie, their eldest son Crown Prince Pavlos, other members of the Greek royal family and foreign royals for the UK memorial service in the nave of the 15th century chapel in Berkshire. Charles was unable to attend Constantine’s funeral in Athens last year due to commitments including meeting the president of Cyprus, and his sister the Princess Royal represented him at the ceremony.

[From The Evening Standard]

They named Anne-Marie and Prince Pavlos as attendees, so if William was confirmed for it, they would say it. William hasn’t confirmed. He also skipped Constantine’s Greek funeral last year. Back then, I understood why King Charles didn’t want his first overseas trip (as king) to be to Greece for a private (ish) family funeral, but it’s still bonkers to me that William didn’t go. And now it looks like William is too lazy to attend a memorial service IN WINDSOR, not far from Adelaide Cottage. I guess we’re not supposed to wonder if he’s ever really lived in Adelaide, just like we’re not supposed to wonder if Kate “returned” to Adelaide after the kids’ school break in Norfolk. This is all so weird. Anyway, I’m sure Charles feels bad about missing his good friend’s memorial service. Camilla will be there though.

Photos courtesy of Cover Images.

Prince William is getting the attention he craved this week, just days after his brother completed a very successful and high-profile visit to Canada. With William, his need for (unearned) validation is mostly about Harry, but it’s also about deflection. Deflection from his god-awful gaffes at the BAFTAs, deflection from the fact that the Princess of Wales has not been seen or heard from in two full months, deflection from the fact that William is deeply and profoundly unprepared. But like all of William’s stunts, his sudden statement this week on the Middle East conflict landed with a dull political thud. There are completely valid questions about whether William’s statement means that he will enter the political fray all the time now, whenever he feels like it. The reaction from Israel has been officially “whatever, fine” while behind the scenes, Israeli officials are bitching about his naivete. That extends to the reaction from civilian Israelis:

Israelis reacted with a mix of indifference and irritation to a rare political intervention from Prince William calling for “an end to the fighting in Gaza”.

The Prince of Wales issued the statement on Tuesday in co-ordination with the Foreign Office, using the same phrase as Foreign Secretary Lord Cameron that “too many have been killed” during the Israel-Hamas war while calling for more aid to be allowed into Gaza and the release of Israeli hostages held by Hamas.

Diplomatic sources suggested that less significance was being attached to the statement in Israel than in the UK. One aide to an Israeli MP compared the public reaction to previous calls from the Pope for a ceasefire in Gaza.

“The public is not impressed because the [Royal Family] does not have many powers,” the aide said.

Israeli social media discussion was often less respectful towards the British royal. Political lobbyist and former local government official Yamit Yanay-Malul accused the prince of a “ridiculous statement” and questioned whether he had used his connection to the Red Cross to press the charity to visit hostages in Gaza.

One Facebook commenter said Prince William should “first make peace with your brother”, alluding to the schism between Windsor and Prince Harry. Another urged him to “reprimand the citizens of Gaza, who co-operated with a…terror organisation”. Israeli news outlets carried reports on the statement, but typically short items placed below news on the progress of the war and negotiations with Hamas.

[From i News]

He “issued the statement on Tuesday in co-ordination with the Foreign Office” – no he didn’t. That was made clear by Kensington Palace’s briefings yesterday – the Foreign Office and Downing Street were merely “informed” of William’s statement but they did not coordinate with him about it. I genuinely believe that William has deeply irritated his Tory handlers, the men grooming him for the throne. As for “first make peace with your brother” – yeah, that’s another reason why William’s big political intervention falls flat. “Stop the violence, make peace” from a man who assaulted his brother, bullied his sister-in-law and, four years after their escape, he still seethes with violent rage about them. Hypocritical doesn’t even begin to cover it.

Photos courtesy of Avalon Red, Cover Images.

Well this is completely unexpected yet entirely delightful news: Sam Mendes has secured the rights to helm a Beatles biopic project. In a move as unique as the Fab Four themselves, Mendes will direct not one but four films, one for each band member. The press release says they’re still speaking with writers (and the projected release date isn’t until 2027 at the earliest), so no sense yet on how each film will reflect its particular Beatle. But already I’m getting Rashomon meets The Alexandria Quartet vibes. I feel like this whole endeavor is going to be either wonderfully imaginative, or a big disappointment. Oh how I hope they pull it off! The producers issued (gushing) statements when the news broke:

It’s a big coup to have gotten all parties on board: In a move that ought to make fans of The Beatles twist and shout, Sony Pictures Entertainment and Oscar-winning filmmaker Sam Mendes and his Neal Street Productions have set plans to make four separate theatrical films, one on each of the members of music’s most famous and enduring band. Mendes will direct all four of the films, and this marks the first time Apple Corp Ltd. and The Beatles — Paul McCartney, Ringo Starr, and the families of John Lennon and George Harrison — have granted full life story and music rights for a scripted film.

From Sam Mendes: “We went out to L.A. just before Christmas to pitch the project, and it’s fair to say we were met with universal enthusiasm,” Mendes told Deadline. “The reason Sony stood out from competing offers was down to Tom [Rothman] and Elizabeth [Gabler]’s passion for the idea, and commitment to propelling these films theatrically in an innovative and exciting way.” In addition to directing all four films, Mendes will produce alongside his Neal Street Productions partner Pippa Harris and Neal Street’s Julie Pastor. Jeff Jones will be executive producer for Apple Corps Ltd.

From Pippa Harris, Mendes’ producing partner: “This project springs from an idea of Sam’s which he had over a year ago, and it’s a testament to his creative brilliance and powers of persuasion that Paul McCartney, Ringo Starr, Sean Lennon and Olivia Harrison responded with such warmth and enthusiasm as soon as he spoke with them,” said Harris. … “We intend this to be a uniquely thrilling, and epic cinematic experience: four films, told from four different perspectives which tell a single story about the most celebrated band of all time,” said Harris in a statement. “To have The Beatles’ and Apple Corps’ blessing to do this is an immense privilege.” … Harris told Deadline: “What is truly exciting is for Sam to have the freedom to delve into the lives of each of the Beatles, with nothing off limits and no sense of the band wanting him to tell a particular ‘authorized’ version of their rise to success.”

From Sony Pictures Chairman/CEO Tom Rothman: “I know I speak for our CEO Tony Vinciquerra, who was instrumental in making this happen, and every Sony Pictures Motion Picture Group colleague around the world when I say: ‘yeah, yeah, yeah!’ Theatrical movie events today must be culturally seismic. Sam’s daring, large-scale idea is that and then some. Pairing his premiere filmmaking team, with the music and the stories of four young men who changed the world, will rock audiences all over the globe. We are deeply grateful to all parties and look forward ourselves to breaking some rules with Sam’s uniquely artistic vision.”

[From Yahoo! Entertainment]

Like I said, I’m really rooting for this concept to work. And I have a million questions already. Will it be the same writer(s) for all four films, or is the intention to have a different writer/voice for each one? Building off of that, will the creative teams be the same for all the films? If I were in Sam’s shoes (let me dream!) I would want each film to be as distinct from one another as possible. So I would lean into a different costume designer, production designer, director of photography, composer, etc for each film, to fully create four separate cinematic landscapes. This isn’t the place for your run-of-the-mill biopic. Any true nod to The Beatles would take a really big swing at risky, cheeky, silly, inventive, searing, spiritual, human choices. But what do I know? Half of what I say is meaningless…

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Last week, British royalist and writer Petronella Wyatt hit the crack pipe and threw down one of the most asinine and overwrought Telegraph pieces I’ve ever read. The point of it was simple – Petronella’s good friend Queen Camilla was mad that Prince Harry did not want Camilla in the room when he met with his father. Instead of reporting that sad tea straight from Camilla, Wyatt spun a cracked-out web of delusion, hatred and poor journalism. Well, guess what that crackhead is up to now? A column about the Duke and Duchess of Sussex’s titles and whether or not the Sussex titles should be removed. It’s been four years and these people cannot move on. Interestingly enough, Wyatt argues that the Sussex titles should not be removed.

Allowing Harry to come back and perform royal duties would be a bit like giving a terrorist a free run of the Houses of Parliament. He’s dynamite but not of the right kind. Besides, he and William would be the Brothers Grim. Nonetheless, those calling for Harry and Meghan to be stripped of their titles are missing the point and risk a head-on collision with Cape Counterproductive.

Deprived of the Dukedom of Sussex, the couple would become more elevated still, as they would revert to being Prince Harry and Princess Harry, titles that can never be removed, as they are part of the Prince’s inalienable birthright, and a prince always trumps a duke, due in part to the scarcity of such handles.

Their website, which now boasts the name sussex.com, a commercialisation that some say crosses the line, at least in spirit, of their agreement with the Palace, might then read princeandprincessharry.com, which, though a mouthful, would be even worse (as would windsor.com), implying that they are the world’s preeminent royalty, and that Meghan is a bona fide American princess. “Sussex” has the advantage of making them sound like a cricket club.

Still I admire and even sneakingly applaud Harry’s devotion to his wife and her ambitious machinations. There is something almost noble and brave about it, albeit foolhardy.

The allurement that women like Meghan, or indeed any woman, hold out to men is precisely the allurement that rocks hold out to sailors. They are enormously dangerous and hence enormously fascinating. To the average man, even royal ones, they offer the only grand adventure he will ever encounter. Take them away and his existence would be as flat and dull as that of a caterpillar. Even to the unusual man, the adventurous man, the imaginative and romantic man, which Harry is not, they offer the adventure of adventures, like something in H Rider Haggard, and Meghan is certainly “she who must be obeyed”.

[From The Telegraph]

I cut off the last six paragraphs or so, where it was clear that Wyatt hit the pipe halfway through writing the column. She went on to suggest that Meghan was some kind of magical temptress manipulating Harry. We’ve heard it all before, and it seems to be a quite common view among educated white Britons working in the British media: that a Black woman has magical voodoo powers and she can control hapless white men with a snap of her fingers. Even more specifically, they believe Harry is stupid and Meghan is exploiting him and everything around them. None of that is true. Anyway, Harry and Meghan wouldn’t have used their Sussex titles for their website unless they were certain that Charles wouldn’t remove them. Cry harder, crackheads.

Photos courtesy of Backgrid, Cover Images.

Buckingham Palace and Kensington Palace threw hissy fits this past weekend, all about a rumor they started: that Prince Harry had “offered” to come back temporarily to do some royal work while his father is being treated for cancer. Harry possibly made that offer to his father in their brief private meeting two weeks ago, but Harry was not the one who leaked that offer to the Times this weekend. Harry was also not behind any of the ridiculous columns and thinkpieces about how his 25-hour visit could be the start of a real “reconciliation.” The Windsors and their media handlers are flat-out desperate for the Sussexes to return, but only on Windsor/media terms. Which isn’t going to happen, and so Prince William spent three full days screaming, crying and throwing up about how he will never allow Harry to come back. Meanwhile, even the Times of London acknowledges that Charles and William need some reinforcements. From Jenni Russell’s “Fragile royal family requires reinforcements.”

How Russell used to think. A modern Britain didn’t need this extensive clan.Even before his disgrace, Prince Andrew looked like a man without sufficient purpose. There were already rumours of Prince Harry’s discontent. It would be far better to liberate all those outside the line of succession from royal expectations and allow them their own careers and independent lives. The future king and his advisers thought the same. Even before his accession it was understood that Charles intended to cut the number of working royals. Frankly, both the King and I were wrong. The royal family suddenly looks fragile and thinned out. With both the King and the Princess of Wales seriously unwell, it’s abruptly apparent how few working royals there are.

Too old: Most are in their seventies and eighties. Of the 11 currently working members, only four — the prince and princess of Wales and the duke and duchess of Edinburgh — are under 60; two will soon turn 90. Nobody from the next generation is being lined up for the working roster until ten-year-old Prince George comes of age.

William’s appearance at the investiture two weeks ago: A fortnight ago Prince William held an investiture, on duty for the first time since the family illnesses. On arrival he was bleak, distracted, swaying on his feet. He looked a man bearing too much alone. Even Prince Harry, who rejected his royal role, has spotted the gap and offered to fill in while his father is ill, although it is improbable his family would welcome such an unreliable member back.

Not enough royals to cover these events: Buckingham Palace is overwhelmed with requests for royal attention. Already it cannot meet demand. The death of the Queen has left hundreds of organisations without the royal patron they were proud of. Those patronages are not automatically transferred; a request can be made to a new sovereign, as the Royal Society of Portrait Painters has done, but because a patronage entails time and obligation it may well be refused. Rationalists and republicans are bewildered by this. Why, they wonder, should anyone feel uplifted by proximity to the members of a hereditary family, there by accidents of conquest, battle, infertility, religious disqualification and premature death? I once felt the same. I didn’t appreciate the triple appeal of recognition, history and mystique.

The slimmed-down monarchy was a mistake: It’s a mistake for Britain to prune the royal roster to its core when its members can perform this unique unifying function across its nations and classes, generating excitement, validation and pride simply by showing up. The dutiful King is cutting back because he wants to retain public support by being leaner and smaller. The opposite is true: Britons living in hard and divisive times are badly in need of a calm, apolitical, supportive presence. Harry may be beyond redemption but the King should enlist his nieces and nephews: the princesses Beatrice and Eugenie, Lady Louise, Viscount Severn, if they will serve, to strengthen the family team.

[From The Times]

Again, Lady Louise is in college! Leave her alone! Viscount Severn (Sophie and Edward’s son) is only 16 years old! Leave him alone! Princess Eugenie already has one foot out the door and she lives part-time in Portugal, so please leave her alone too. Granted, Princess Beatrice genuinely wants to work for the Firm, and so does her husband. So it’s actually kind of bonkers that Beatrice hasn’t been given more to do, even on a temporary basis. In any case, none of this is new – people always knew that the slimmed-down monarchy was going to be very old and very lazy, and they have no one to blame but themselves. Charles, Camilla, William and Kate wanted all of the attention, all of the spotlight, all of the stolen treasure to themselves. They got it. Enjoy it, dumbasses.

Photos courtesy of Avalon Red, Cover Images.