When Justin Welby resigned as Archbishop of Canterbury this week, the British tabloids rushed to bizarrely connect Welby to the Duke and Duchess of Sussex. While Welby had been friendly with Prince Harry and Meghan, and he officiated their 2018 wedding, anyone would have been able to draw similar connections with Welby and the rest of the Windsor clan. Welby officiated King Charles’s coronation, he has officiated several of the royal baby christenings and he’s made a point of advising various royals. Overall, Welby is much closer to King Charles in particular. So after the Mail tried to make Welby’s association with the Sussexes into a thing, the Mail’s Ephraim Hardcastle pointed out that Charles made a point of giving Welby a knighthood, even though red flags were raised.

Justin Welby’s past association with serial abuser John Smyth could have jeopardised the royal knighthood he was awarded for presiding at King Charles’ Coronation. My well-placed source whispers that Welby’s former links to Smyth and the ongoing inquiries into his abusive behaviour led courtiers to red-flag the King’s nomination of Welby to the Knight of the Grand Cross of the Royal Victorian Order in the New Year Honours.

The unanswered questions would probably have caused any other gong to be at least paused by the honours scrutiny committee. However, the King doesn’t need to consult anyone about handing-out the RVO and decided to ignore courtiers’ warnings.

Tradition dictates that departing Welby will be garlanded with the Royal Victorian Chain, a rarely awarded honour usually given to retiring archbishops. It’s also entirely in the King’s gift. But Welby isn’t the only tainted prelate to receive it. George Carey was awarded it in 2002 despite his long involvement protecting disgraced abuser Bishop Peter Ball. When Welby became archbishop he ordered an independent inquiry. Ironically, given how Welby clung on, he ordered Carey to resign as an honorary assistant bishop in Oxford.

[From The Daily Mail]

The larger issues of church abuses and coverups are being lost here, so let me just focus on why Welby actually resigned: it’s because there’s definitive proof that he stayed silent for YEARS when a rampant, serial child abuser used Christian camps to hunt for victims. While Welby’s role in and knowledge of the coverup has been widely rumored for years, the actual report was only recently released. That being said, King Charles obviously has no problem with Welby, or coverups or hanging around people who abuse children. The way the media gleefully connected Welby to the Sussexes shows that Charles was the one with more sh-t to hide.

Incidentally, the photos below are from today – King Charles, a slumlord who profiteers from Britain’s public services and taxpayers, visited a food bank on his 76th birthday. Interesting that Camilla wasn’t feeling well enough to do this either.

Photos courtesy of Cover Images, Avalon Red.

By all accounts, Denzel Washington has a scene stealing supporting (yet pivotal!) role in Gladiator II. Denzel plays Macrinus, an arms dealer who’s probably/definitely plotting the fall of the Roman Empire. The promotional campaign has been steadily ramping up, and one talking point Denzel keeps returning to is how he’s selective with his projects these days. As a young 70-year-old, Denzel wants to work on films, and perhaps more importantly with filmmakers who excite him, challenge, take him to places he’s never been before. And apparently, one of those new places will be Wakanda. While talking to an Australian network during a big press junket, Denzel revealed that “Ryan Coogler is writing a part for me in the next ‘Black Panther.’”

Marvel Studios has not officially confirmed that a third film in the Black Panther franchise is in the works, but actor Denzel Washington on Tuesday indicated that there is, and that he will have a role.

Speaking to the Today show on Australia’s Channel 9 as part of a Gladiator II press junket, Washington said that director Ryan Coogler is writing a part for him in the next Black Panther film.

When asked about his future plans, Washington said that “at this point in my career, I’m only interested in working with the best, I don’t know how many more films I will make, probably not that many. I want to do things that I haven’t done.”

“I played Othello at 22, I’m now going to play it at 70,” he continued. “After that, I’m playing Hannibal. After that, I’ve been talking with Steve McQueen about a film. After that, Ryan Coogler is writing a part for me in the next Black Panther.”

Black Panther has become one of the MCU’s signature franchises, with the 2018 film starring Chadwick Boseman, Lupita Nyong’o and Michael B. Jordan garnering not only critical acclaim but a massive box office haul, earning more than $1.3 billion.

Boseman died at age 43 in 2020.

The 2022 sequel, Black Panther: Wakanda Forever, functioned as a tribute to the late actor, and a way to continue the story of Wakanda and its people. It also launched to success at the box office.

[From The Hollywood Reporter]

I really liked both Black Panther movies. They were each so visually and musically sumptuous! Losing Chadwick Boseman was devastating — he was a lovely, honorable, empathic human. The impact of his death was obviously bigger than how it affected a movie, but I thought Coogler found a way to make Wakanda Forever a thinking, feeling piece on how we process grief. Was it a perfect film? No. But it was pretty impeccable what Coogler created after the tragedy of losing their hero.

All that being said, and bearing in mind that I’m not well-versed in the original comic book lore, I can’t imagine where Black Panther is headed for a third film! Or how Denzel will be fitting into that world. Based on his comments, I’m guessing Denzel wouldn’t settle for being anything other than a Wakandan himself, right? So who could he play — the late Queen Ramonda/Angela Bassett’s brother? M’Baku/Winston Duke’s father? Or maybe a leader from one of the five tribes that hasn’t been so prominent in the previous movies. So many possibilities! Also, who else but Denzel Washington could get away with casually breaking Marvel casting news? Was he supposed to share that with the world now? I think not! But what can they do — if we know anything about Denzel at this moment, it’s that he could easily plot the downfall of the Marvel Cinematic Universe Empire.

Photos credit: Jimmy James/Avalon, Eddie Mulholland for The Telegraph/Avalon, IMAGO/mpi099/MediaPunch/Avalon, Nicky Nelson/Wenn/Avalon, Jerry Perez/Avalon

Prince William gave several interviews to royal rota reporters when he was in Cape Town, South Africa. He complained about how 2024 has been “brutal” and “the hardest year of my life.” He also spoke to Roya Nikkhah at the Times of London, and he was asked specifically about his royal work and whether he would ever work more. He claimed that he wants to approach his work with “a smaller r in the royal” and how he’s “trying to do it differently and I’m trying to do it for my generation.” Because William rarely gives interviews, his comments actually garnered some international headlines. I was skimming NBC News’ coverage of his interview, and I ended up barking with laughter because NBC spoke to Republic’s Graham Smith, and they included his comments within their coverage. Like… the American media is not buying anything to do with the Incandescent Egg.

Elaborating on what [small-r royal work meant to him], Prince William said that “it’s more about impact philanthropy, collaboration, convening and helping people. And I’m also going to throw empathy in there as well, because I really care about what I do. It helps impact people’s lives. And I think we could do with some more empathetic leadership around the world.”

William has thought about how he might make his mark and approach things differently in both his current role as the Prince of Wales and, one day, as king, NBC News royal commentator Daisy McAndrew said. “He will be all too aware of how dangerous it is for the royal family to be seen to be out of touch or aloof and hence the emphasis on empathy and emotional intelligence,” she said.

British tabloids offered positive coverage, with The Mirror describing William’s comments as a “huge royal shake-up” and The Sun splashing: “MONARCHY WITH EMPATHY.”

But the comments have not received a universally warm response. Graham Smith, CEO of the anti-monarchy campaign group Republic, told NBC News of the heir to the throne: “His ‘r’ couldn’t get any smaller, to be honest. He barely does anything at all. He’s an incredibly lazy man who manages to get a pretty small splashing of engagements to look like he is busy.”

Prince Harry’s decision to step away from royal duties and his subsequent move to the United States has fueled a public conversation about the monarchy’s relevance and future in Britain.

“What Harry has done is shown that royals can walk away and do the right thing under their own steam. They can fund their own lifestyles and get celebrity endorsements and do just fine,” Smith said. “So why his brother feels that he needs to hang on to the titles and the status and the public money, I think, is a question that is only highlighted by Harry’s departure.”

[From NBC News]

LMAO. “His ‘r’ couldn’t get any smaller, to be honest. He barely does anything at all. He’s an incredibly lazy man…” Graham Smith is getting bolder in his critiques of the Windsors. I like that he name-checked Harry too, using Harry as an example of someone who walked away from the royal trappings and did just fine. In my previous story, I even said that William sounded like his idea of “small-r royal work” sounds a lot like what Harry does right now, as a Montecito-based philanthropist and humanitarian. Which is interesting, isn’t it? Because for William, the whole point of *everything* is that he wants to lord it over Harry. William wanted the status, the slumlord money, the royal trappings, but he only wanted that stuff because he thought Harry would be jealous. Instead, William is the jealous one and desperately trying to copy everything Harry does.

Photos courtesy of Cover Images.

No Yellowstone storyline has been more dramatic or enduring than star Kevin Costner walking away from his rumored $3 million an episode gig as Josh Dutton — the frickin’ lead! I’ll try to pare it down to the basics: the fifth season of Yellowstone was supposed to be the final of the series, and it was split into two parts. The last episode of the first part of Season 5 aired in January 2023. Then the Hollywood strikes happened, and Kevin hit the horizon to film his passion project. Last Sunday, the first episode of the second part of Season 5 aired, and right off the bat they dealt with the exit of Kevin’s character. A day later, Kevin appeared on The Michael Smerconish Program on SiriusXM, and he was more than a bit shady with the way Taylor Sheridan & Co. wrote off Josh Dutton. Warning: Spoilers ahead!

“Sometimes I’m like just a passenger in my life, you know, there’s a lot going on,” he told host Michael Smerconish. “So no, I found out about it this morning actually.”

He explained that he was not aware that the shocking death was in store for his character, though he suggested “a couple” of “possible endings” for John over the years.

“No, I didn’t see it. I heard it’s a suicide, so that doesn’t make me want to rush to go see it,” Costner said.

But he did defend the team behind Yellowstone despite the fan backlash to his character’s passing.

“Listen, they’re smart people. Whatever they’re doing, they’ll figure it out,” he said.

As Smerconish pressed Costner over whether or not he was “displeased” with John’s fate, Costner simply said, “Maybe it’s a red herring. Who knows? They’re very good. And they’ll figure that out.”

He later denied that he quit Yellowstone at all. He explained that he tried to stay on the show despite it undergoing several changes after Season 5, Part 1. But he said he eventually had to back out because he had his own “obligations” to the crew of “300 people” working on his passion project, Horizon: An American Saga.

“I didn’t really have to leave anything behind,” he said. “There was room, but it was difficult for them to keep their schedule. It seemed to be, it was just too difficult for them to do it.”

“I didn’t leave. I didn’t quit the show,” he outrightly clarified at one point of the interview. He said he “accommodated” them on the unspecified changes they wanted to make to the contracts, but, “finally when they wanted to change it a third time, because I had my obligations to do, I had 300 people waiting for me, I couldn’t help them anymore. I just simply couldn’t help them. But I didn’t quit the show.”

[From Decider]

Full disclosure: I have never seen an episode of Yellowstone. I do, however, follow the dramatic plot points that have been playing out off screen by the show’s main characters. Like Taylor Sheridan suing Cole Hauser over similar coffee brand logos, or Forrie J. Smith (what a name!) getting himself kicked off a flight for refusing to sit next to a passenger wearing a mask. So all that plus Kevin Costner’s tense, drawn out exit, and oh my gosh these cowboys are such drama queens! On his character’s death: “They’ll figure it out.” Dude, they killed off your character. What is there to figure out? And I can’t even get into that whole “I’m just a passenger in my own life” malarkey. But I think my favorite moment is Kevin insisting that he did not quit the show, you guys! He simply decided to stop physically showing up and receive a paycheck for the series he was starring in — see the difference?! Look, Kevin may be entirely right that they kept switching contracts and schedules so he decided to honor a prior commitment. But the actions he took are still the definition of quitting.

And of course, lest we forget, the passion project he left Yellowstone for was Horizon: An American Saga, eleventy hours of Civil War-era westward expansion. Boy, did Kevin show them. He had 300 people waiting on him to direct it; if only there had been 300 people who wanted to see it in theaters.

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Photos credit: Sabina Spöttel/Future Image/Cover Images, IMAGO/Sabina Spöttel/Avalon, IMAGO/Faye Sadou/Avalon, Getty and via Instagram

Sometimes you feel the need to move on. Somewhere there’s an ocean, innocent and wild. Somewhere, someone’s calling you, and when the chips are down, you’re just a traveling penguin. As in Gus, the Emperor penguin who just traversed more than 2,000 miles of open ocean from his home in Antarctica to the town of Denmark in Western Australia. Pioneer that he is, Gus became the first Emperor penguin to set foot in Oz when he swam up on November 1, where he was immediately spotted by surfers. So far the long distance swimmer has kept mum on the reason for his journey and how long it took him, but that could be down to the fact that the poor guy is malnourished from such an arduous trek! Gus weighed in at 51 lbs, while adult Emperor penguins are typically closer to 100 lbs. Don’t worry, experts are taking care of the little history-maker (including misting sprays of cold water to mimic his home climate) to get him in good health before they discuss next steps with Gus. From People Mag:

An emperor penguin is in recovery after swimming from Antarctica to Australia — a journey of over 2,000 miles.

The bird was discovered on a tourist beach on the country’s southwest coast on Nov. 1, according to a government statement obtained by the Associated Press.

The lone penguin was first spotted by surfer Aaron Fowler, per the Australian newspaper Albany Advertiser.

“We had a look [at] what was going on and there was this big bird in the water, and we thought it was another sea bird,” Fowler told the outlet, adding, “but then it kept coming closer to the shore — and it was way too big — and it just stood up and waddled right over to us.”

The penguin reportedly weighed only 51 lbs — with 55-100 lbs considered normal for the species.

The bird — which has been nicknamed Gus — is currently under the care of local wildlife experts and is being regularly sprayed with chilled water mist to help him cope with his new, significantly warmer climate.

According to Western Australia state’s Department of Biodiversity, Conservation and Attractions, the goal is to rehabilitate the penguin. Officials are currently unsure whether he will return to Antarctica following his recovery, though “options are still being worked through,” per the AP report.

PEOPLE reached out to Western Australia’s Department of Biodiversity, Conservation and Attractions for further details but did not immediately hear back.

According to the Center for Biological Diversity, a nonprofit that works to secure the future of endangered species, emperor penguins are especially impacted by the effects of global warming due to the melting of ice shelves.

“Scientists project that 80% of the world’s emperor penguins may disappear by the end of the century without drastic cuts in carbon pollution,” the org states. “These penguins are also threatened by ocean acidification and industrial fisheries, which further reduce prey availability.”

[From People]

Yeah, I think we all knew the likely cause of Gus’s pilgrimage would be global warming, just like with our unnamed flamingo friend who toured Cape Cod over the summer. People don’t tend to uproot their lives when everything is hunky dory at home.

Still, I gotta say, penguins really are outdoing themselves this year! We have Pesto the Great, the giant baby King penguin chilling in Melbourne as he receives visiting dignitaries ahead of his fledging — which will dwarf him once Gus gets back in shape. Hey, for all we know Gus popped over to meet Pesto! I’m just glad Gus met surfer Aaron Fowler upon crossing the Australian border, because everything Aaron has said to the media is pure gold. Starting with how Gus emerged from the water: “It was kind of funny, like as he came out of the water he went to do a tummy slide, like I guess he’s used to on the ice, and he just did a kind of faceplant in the sand and shook all the sand off and looked a bit shocked,” to how Gus approached him: “He was not afraid of us at all, I think he might have thought we were penguins because of our wet suits.” Bless you, Aaron. I’m sure that’s exactly what Gus was thinking.

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I’m an Elder Millennial, and as such, I remember the kids’ TV programs from the late 80s and early 90s. More specifically, I remember the theme songs and other music featured on them. You know, jingles like the Muppet Babies theme, “The Song That Doesn’t End” from Lamb Chop’s Play-Along, and, of course, Barney & Friends’ “I Love You.” I was a tad too old to really watch Barney, but I had two younger sisters and there was only one TV, so…ya know, lol.

Barney is having a bit of a resurgence right now thanks to the new animated series, Barney’s World on Max. And like basically everything else, there’s now a Barney-centered podcast. On Tuesday, November 12, a brand new, seven-part pod dedicated to the original series made its debut. Hosted by Connecticut Public Radio’s Sabrina Herrera, Generation Barney is about both Barney and the “music and love and backlash and toys and nostalgia.” Barney & Friends’ musical director, Bob Singleton, is a guest on one of the episodes. During his appearance, he talks about his experience working on the show, as well as the scary downside to creating such catchy children’s songs.

One of the things kids loved — and parents perhaps tolerated — about Barney & Friends were the catchy tunes the purple dinosaur and his friends would sing. Believe it or not, the songs about friendship, community and love were tough for some who were hearing so much of them. Musical director Bob Singleton shares his experience on the new podcast Generation Barney, recalling getting flack when people would learn what he did for a living.

“When I was nominated for a Grammy, a local talk radio station said, ‘Hey, this is great,’ ” Singleton recalls. “Then someone called in and said, ‘I wish I could get my hands around the neck of that guy. I would just, I would really like to take him out. ‘”

As Internet culture evolved and more people were getting together to discuss the show online, Singleton got troubling emails, too.

“My email address was out there, and I was getting people sending me emails … that [were] threatening me and my family with horrible, horrible death and dismemberment and terrible things,” Singleton says in the narrative podcast’s second episode.

“It was frightening. I remember going to a luncheon once and they’ve got us sat at a table. I said I had been the music director on Barney and this one guy — and I’m sure he was well-meaning — said ‘Wow, my kids loved you but I just wanted to kill you.’ ”

“In that moment, I have to think, ‘Okay, is this somebody that I need to watch for in the parking lot, you know?’ Or is he just, is that just his way of going ‘My kids liked it, I didn’t’. So it was awkward.”

[From People]

Goodness, people are so unhinged. Imagine being so triggered by a song in a children’s television program that you go out of your way to send the show’s music director death threats. And the guy that told him that he didn’t like his work to his face while at a professional luncheon was so rude! I doubt my mother loved hearing these songs (and more) over and over again, but she certainly never complained about it in front of us or sent anyone threatening emails. And within the circle of life, those of us who are parents now have or are paying our penance by having to listen to annoying songs from shows like Cocomelon and Mickey Mouse Clubhouse. Thankfully, parents today have better methods to help tune it out. Although, I do still sometimes randomly burst into the theme song from Doc McStuffins because it’s so damn good.

You can check out Generation Barney here. The first episode features the two actors to have played Barney the longest, Bob West (voice) and David Joyner (body). It’s a pretty interesting conversation.

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Wavy-haired Nicole Kidman promoted Spellbound, an animated film. Her dress here in Dolce & Gabbana and it’s sort of casually atrocious?? [LaineyGossip]
Angelina Jolie went to the opera last night with Pablo Larrain. [Just Jared]
Martha Stewart pushed Drew Barrymore away. Good. [Socialite Life]
Jason Sudeikis blames the audience for Ted Lasso’s lackluster third season. [Pajiba]
It feels like we haven’t seen Charlize Theron in a while! [Go Fug Yourself]
Again, Chloe Fineman said that Elon Musk made her cry. [OMG Blog]
Cynthia Erivo wore Thom Browne in Mexico. [RCFA]
All the cool girls worked on Law & Order. [Seriously OMG]
Janelle Eason’s husband was arrested again. [Starcasm]
I sincerely hope Benny Blanco treats Selena Gomez like a princess. [Hollywood Life]
A TikToker shares ways to “opt out” of Donald Trump’s economy. [Buzzfeed]

Elon Musk has reportedly been camped out at Mar-a-Lago since Election Day. He’s been on many of Donald Trump’s calls with world leaders, and he’s been influencing Trump’s decisions on various appointments too. It was an open question as to whether Trump would actually appoint Musk to something within the administration, or whether Musk would simply act as Trump’s off-the-books consigliere. Well, we have our answer. Musk was just appointed to a newly-made position in “the Department of Government Efficiency.” Aka, DOGE. Remember how Musk has been obsessed with that years-old “doge” meme and has been promoting the Dogecoin cryptocurrency? Yeah.

Mr. Trump said on Tuesday that Elon Musk and Vivek Ramaswamy will lead what he called the Department of Government Efficiency. It will be, he said, “the Manhattan Project” of this era, driving “drastic change” throughout the government with major cuts and new efficiencies in bloated agencies in the federal bureaucracy by July 4, 2026.

“A smaller Government, with more efficiency and less bureaucracy, will be the perfect gift to America on the 250th Anniversary of The Declaration of Independence,” Mr. Trump wrote in a statement. “I am confident they will succeed!”

The statement left unanswered all kinds of major questions about an initiative that is uncertain in seriousness but potentially vast in scope. For starters, the president-elect did not address the fact that no such department exists. And he did not elaborate on whether his two rich supporters would hire a staff for the new department, which he said is aimed in part at reducing the federal work force.

[From The NY Times]

The 250th anniversary of the Declaration of Independence… well, at that point, I doubt there will be a “United States of America” anymore, but sure. As for Musk… as many people are pointing out, this is just some ridiculous busywork position. It’s also very likely that Musk and Trump will both burn out on their asinine drama. I’m actually shocked that Trump isn’t already sick of Musk, honestly.

The fact that Musk has no idea he’s being given a fake busywork job makes me wonder how much management experience he actually has.

— Shadow Of The Nerdtree (@agraybee) November 13, 2024

for those unaware elon musk holds a ton of dogecoin (DOGE) and this is a president-elect using his executive power to create a new government department whose name is intended to boost the price of DOGE, thereby enriching the man running it (musk) https://t.co/cEw5NN5M2S

— Marlow Stern (@MarlowNYC) November 13, 2024

Photos courtesy of Avalon Red.

I love it when you guys theorize that royal reporters are secretly Prince William and Kate’s biggest opps. I’ve long believed that royal rota reporters see themselves more as gatekeepers to the Waleses in particular, and that there’s a lot of “common knowledge” among the rota, stuff which is barely ever reported but is often hinted at within various stories. What’s gone down this year has broken a lot of codes and agreements though, and we could see that with our own eyes as the rota tried to contain the five-alarm PR fire that happened in the first three months of the year. Lies, manipulated photos, secrets, a missing princess, day-drinking, it was all pretty bizarre. Months later, people are still trying to work out exactly what happened and whether the stories we were fed were all lies. Which is why it caught on when Rhiannon Mills at Sky News seemingly let the cat out of the bag when she emphasized that the Princess of Wales had “pre-cancerous cells,” implying that was all it was. As of Monday, the palace had not responded and Mills’ reporting had not been corrected. Then something shifted on Tuesday. Tom Sykes at the Daily Beast sounds pissed off at this utter clownshow:

The extraordinary rumor that Kate Middleton never had cancer, which went viral over the weekend after an old report resurfaced saying the princess had been afflicted by “pre-cancerous cells”, can arguably be traced back to a deliberately opaque communications policy by her and her office.

The half-transparent/half-secretive approach to Kate’s health crisis this year also resulted in one of the most disastrous episodes of news management ever seen in the royal family, when Kate disappeared from view for weeks on end, triggering a tsunami of speculation about her health and her marriage, before she reappeared in a photo that turned out to be doctored. Kensington Palace never produced the original. Many still darkly mutter that rather than being subject to some light editing by Kate sitting up in bed with her laptop as the palace subsequently suggested, the Mother’s Day picture was in fact an out and out forgery stitched together from a selection of old photos.

After an outcry from global picture and news agencies which declared William and Kate’s office to no longer be a credible news source, Kate then appeared to be bounced into revealing that she had cancer in the first of two momentous videos. But, astonishingly, that story is now being called into question after the Sky News report which said that Kate had actually been treated for “pre-cancerous cells.” The report originally dated from September but resurfaced online this weekend. It was authored by Rhiannon Mills, senior royal editor for Sky News.

Mills and Sky are members of the so-called royal rota, a quasi-official group of royal journalists working for the British media who—while maintaining their editorial independence and frequently writing critical stories about the royals—cooperate with the palace, especially on logistics, in a broad sense. Palace staffers are often able to get simple errors made by rota journalists easily corrected.

The Daily Beast understands that reputable journalists contacted Kensington Palace last week to ask them about the Sky News report but it went unchanged until Tuesday, when it was finally amended by Sky to remove the reference to “pre-cancerous cells.” Mills has not responded to requests for comment and the palace has told The Daily Beast that it won’t be commenting, with sources saying the phrase “pre-cancerous cells” was never used by them.

The specific formulation of the words went largely unnoticed at the time amid relief at Kate’s announcement that she was “cancer-free.” Intriguingly, her office said at the time that the press shouldn’t use the phrase “cancer-free” although Kate did, suggesting another significant disconnect between the press office and its principal figures.

[From The Daily Beast]

“Her office said at the time that the press shouldn’t use the phrase “cancer-free” although Kate did…” This is true. The rota gossiped about that too, that the palace issued talking points and guidance and Kensington Palace said that no one should actually quote Kate. It was in that stupid “romping in the meadow and fondling a butterfly” video where Kate said, in her voiceover, that her goal was remaining “cancer-free.” As for Mills, I have no idea if she simply made a mistake or if she was making a choice to spill some tea or whatever. I think it’s interesting that Sky News just edited the report and Mills hasn’t said anything on the record. God, so much weird-ass sh-t has gone down with these people this year.

Photos courtesy of Avalon Red, Cover Images, Kensington Palace.

For the third time in four years, people are trying to say that Prince William “won” a sexiest bald man competition. The first time was in 2021, and it was based on Google searches and sponsored by a cosmetic surgery group. The second time Huevo was named the sexiest bald man, it was last year and it was also based on flawed methodology, as they tried to argue that people were constantly google-searching “William bald sexy shirtless handsome.” While I don’t doubt that William employs a full-time intern (perhaps some wiglet-wearing gopher???) to spend eight hours a day rigging the Google results, I still fail to understand how Mark Strong, Jason Statham and Dwayne Johnson aren’t winning every sexy bald man contest out there.

Prince William has been named the world’s sexiest bald man for two consecutive years, after the royal recently debuted a more rugged look that left fans gushing over his facial hair. A new study placed the Prince of Wales, 42, ahead of contenders such as Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson, Stanley Tucci, Thierry Henry, and Vin Diesel – as the future King of Britain retained his crown as the hottest man without hair in 2024.

The study ranked some of the world’s most famous bald men based on different factors including how shiny their heads are, their facial golden ratio, height, and smile – and William earned a near-perfect score.

The research compiled by PR agency Reboot Online also tracked media perception and ‘sexy’ global search interest, with William’s recent appearances in South Africa for the Earthshot initiative likely to have sent fan queries about him soaring.

This isn’t William’s first time being recognised as the world’s dishiest bald man; after securing the top spot in 2021, he slipped to second place in 2022, before reclaiming his title in 2023. This year, he scored an impressive 9.9 out of a possible total of 10 points based on the shininess of his scalp, his smile and facial proportions.

Right behind William, Hollywood superstar Dwayne Johnson climbed to the second spot – after being placed seventh on 2023’s list, with a score of 8.9 out of 10. American basketball star Shaquille O’Neal broke into the top three, after he was ranked as the ninth best-looking bald man in 2023. Professional surfer Kelly Slater, who was recently spotted catching waves with Prince Harry in California, came in at the fourth position – earning high scores for his golden ratio, the sheen of his scalp, and smile. Brooklyn Nine-Nine star Terry Crews and 79-year-old Taxi star Danny DeVito ranked fifth and sixth respectively, with Samuel L Jackson, former Arsenal superstar Henry, and The Hunger Games actor Tucci rounding out the list. Vin Diesel dropped to the last place, after earning the top spot in 2022 – notably beating William that year.

[From The Daily Mail]

Rigged! Jason Statham didn’t even make the top ten?? Ridiculous. Anyway, my annual reminder – I have nothing against bald men, bald men can be great-looking. But William looks like the wrath of god. Especially this year – he looks like he crawled out of a bottle, and his facial hair has given him a scuzzy, druggy look. Also: it’s hilarious that the Mail released this rigged survey just hours before People Magazine announced their Sexiest Man Alive.

Photos courtesy of Avalon Red, Cover Images.