Dear Gossips,

It’s been 14 years since Beyoncé last performed in South Africa. Last night she made it worth the wait at the Global Citizen Festival: Mandela 100, paying tribute to one of the greatest human beings in history, honouring his memory and also those who are keeping his memory alive, c…

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I used to be such a Matt Damon stan I didn’t like it when Kaiser covered him, he was MINE. I watched The Bourne movies multiple times, I admired what an outspoken activist he used to be, and he was so hot to me, even with a dad bod. Then he showed his ass multiple times. There was his whitesplaining to a WOC producer about diversity, his defense of playing a white lead in an Asian movie, and then his horrible take on MeToo really put it over the top. He tried to dial it back eventually and he did apologize. We haven’t heard of him being abusive or inappropriate, but Damon is a white dude who can’t see beyond his perspective and will always be on the side of men like him. (Also I’m still mad at him for the time I wasted watching Downsizing.) Hence his calling John Krasinski’s starring role on The Office as Jim an “unfair burden he had to smash through.” That’s a BREAK for most people. Being on a TV show for years is a f’ing privilege and a big break into show business. I assume that Damon was asked for his take on his friend John Krasinski and his wife, Emily Blunt’s, big successes. EW has this weird essay from Damon about them without much context. Damon and Krasinski cowrote and starred in Promised Land in 2012 and Damon and Blunt were in 2011?s The Adjustment Bureau. Since then Damon has floundered somewhat while Kraskinski and Blunt have only gone up. There’s no shame in that, people have career ups and downs, I’m just saying Damon’s very bad take take on issues rightfully derailed him a bit.

For people who know them well, this is the year we’ve all been waiting for. They are both now going to have the careers that they deserve and want. I can’t imagine A Quiet Place was anything but just a lovely set to work on because those two have the same sense of humor and they see the world in the same way.

You talk to any actor, what Emily did in that movie is incredible. And what John took on — co-writer, director, and actor — selling a movie on the fact that there is going to be very little talking? That’s a really high bar, and those performances —really led by her — were just outstanding. They’re so versatile.

Playing a character on a TV show for so long, John had this unfair burden he had to smash through, and that’s been done now, clearly. Emily, I don’t think she ever repeats herself. When I worked with her almost 10 years ago in The Adjustment Bureau, everybody knew she was this really gifted actress. But with this year’s one-two punch of A Quiet Place and Mary Poppins Returns, she’s now a huge movie star in the eyes of the people who greenlight movies. I don’t think we’ve seen the limit of what either of them can do yet.

[From EW]

Maybe I wouldn’t have come away from this rolling my eyes if EW had presented it as an interview and not Damon lecturing us about how Krasinski and Blunt are successful and he could see it coming. Damon is the arbiter of people’s successes too, right? But yes, poor John Krasinski, having to convince people he’s not a good guy paper salesman from Pennsylvania. Chris Pratt must have overcome so much to go from playing a doofus shoeshining musician to a superhero. I wonder if Damon’s friends ever regret telling him their personal business. He likes to tell their oppressed perspective as he sees it. Maybe Krasinski asked for advice on how to make the transition to movies. Then Damon translated it to Damon-ease involving an unfair burden and a glass ceiling for white male TV actors on hit shows.

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In 2013:

photos credit: WENN and Getty

Ashley Graham covers the current “digital issue” of Glamour Magazine. The cover reminds me of a nitpicky problem I have with so many magazines – when they dare to feature a fuller-figured woman on their cover, they only do it in extreme close-up on her face, or they do a full-length photo of her, usually from a bigger distance. There’s no happy medium for full-figured ladies. Anyway, Ashley is still happening. She worked for years without getting much attention, then about three or four years ago, she was everywhere, and she was part of the bigger conversation we had about body type representation and plus-sizes and more. Ashley hustled when she got her chance, and now she’s getting tons of modeling work, she’s got fashion lines and a popular podcast (Pretty Big Deal), and sponsorships with Revlon and more. You can read Ashley’s Glamour interview here. Some highlights:

Intersectionality conversations: “I think everybody in today’s day and age is curious, right? There are so many different backgrounds, and people are assuming this and assuming that… What I’ve always done—especially when I first got married and I was more involved in black conversation—[is say], ‘Oh, I didn’t know that.’ You don’t know it because you don’t ask questions.”

On being a breakthrough plus-sized model: “When you’re the first of something, you are always going to have to answer the hard questions,” she says. People aren’t going to like you. People are going to hate you. People are going to be confused by you because you’re the new kid in town. But if you ask me, I’m not the new kid in town—this body’s been around for centuries and now I’ve just been given a voice.”

Her husband helped educate her on race and privilege: “Because I’m white and because of white privilege, I’ve been given a platform. But we can’t erase all the women who came before me. Now, I can also talk about the Marquita Prings, the Precious Lees, the Paloma [Elsessers]…. The list goes on and on, so why aren’t we talking about them as well? I’ve had this conversation with some of my white friends, and it’s hard for them to understand what that means—the only reason I understand is because of the hard conversations that I’ve had with my husband. He’s the one who really opened my eyes to that and made me understand. I’ve been married to Justin for eight years now, and there are still moments where I’m like, Oh God, did I just say the wrong thing?”

When people accused her of losing weight to fit in: “It sucked that everybody had to go in on me like, ‘Oh, you lost so much weight.’ If these people actually knew me—which, you know, they don’t and maybe never will—they would know that my body just hasn’t changed. To be completely honest, I’ve gained weight in the last five years, not lost weight. If you actually look at my IMG Polaroids from when I first signed with them to now, you can tell I’m thicker. I mean, it’s just age. Geez. Whatever!”

[From Glamour]

I sort of appreciate the careful way she worded some of what she said about race and white privilege and recognizing the fuller figured models who came before her. Think about how messy and racist that conversation could have been – she handled it with a lot of sensitivity. And she’s absolutely right – as soon as a woman who looks like a plus-sized Eva Mendes came around, she was embraced by the fashion community more than any beautiful, plus-sized black model. I do wonder if her husband gets a little bit tired of being her Race & Racism professor though. Of course, if she doesn’t know, she should ask, and as I said, she’s showing a lot of sensitivity for what are some very charged conversations. But surely she has other people in her life whom she can ask too?

Photos courtesy of Alex John Beck for Glamour, sent from promotional Glamour email.

I’ve always felt that Carole Middleton is Britain’s answer to Kris Jenner. I’ve said that since the beginning, and eventually the British tabloids picked up on it and started making the comparison as well. I’m not necessarily trying to insult Carole, but I’m just saying… she gives off a very Kris Jenner vibe. Living vicariously through her daughters, the Machiavellian puppet master capable of working the press and manipulating her children and their spouses. Kris Jenner and Carole both started out as flight attendants too, and they both married well, given their humble origin stories. Both Kris and Carole have more hustle than all of their kids combined too. Carole’s hustle is more of the social climbing variety – she wants the best “position.” Kris’s hustle is about money and fame.

Anyway, Carole decided to give an interview. This is her first sit-down interview…ever? She’s given quotes here and there, but like Kris Jenner, her power is behind the curtain. Again, it’s interesting timing, especially given that “sources” keep talking about how Kate’s got a big initiative she’s about to unveil, and given the rash of negative stories about Meghan. Is all of it connected? I don’t know. Some quotes from Carole’s Telegraph exclusive:

Why it has taken her so long to be interviewed: She said that her life is simply “really normal – most of the time….Over the years, it’s proved wise not to say anything.”

She doesn’t have a problem being pulled in all directions. ‘I love it. I’m definitely hands-on. I don’t find it complicated. My biggest fear [as her offspring grew up] was that I’d lose my family, but we’ve stayed close. There are times when they say, “Can you do this, or that?” and I can’t quite. But they like the fact that I work. I have two lovely sons-in-law and,’ she adds (is that a wistful note?), ‘I hope I’ll have a lovely daughter-in-law.’

She was her own wedding planner: ‘Not everyone can afford a party planner,’ Carole says – and she should know. She planned her own wedding. ‘I found the venue, organised the wedding breakfast, the bonfire and chilli con carne in the evening.’

Duchess Kate asked her mom for wedding advice:‘We talked about music… everything. I was involved lots with both Pip’s and Catherine’s weddings. But I think the most important thing, as a parent, is to listen to what your daughter wants. You can have all the ideas in the world, but it has to be about them. And don’t muscle in on the guest list.’

She doesn’t like shopping: ‘I’m bigger round my top half than I was, so that’s why I prefer dresses to trousers and I don’t like anything tight. One of the reasons I don’t like shopping for clothes is that there aren’t enough for women my age. I know what I want, but I can’t find it. There’s a way of dressing that’s what I call “correct”.’

She is a disciplined parent: ‘Although my parents gave me lots of love, there weren’t huge expectations of me. This might surprise you, but I think one of the most important qualities of a good parent is discipline. That doesn’t mean you’re strict, but routine is vital. Maybe structure is a nicer word. You can’t suddenly start teaching them about politeness at 13. You have to do it from the start.’

Carole doesn’t read the stories: Carole prefers not to read any stories about herself online – a rule she has stuck to for more than a year. “Well, I thought it was better to know what people thought. But it doesn’t make any difference. I’m not really sure how I’m perceived now.”

The Middleton kids always helped out at Party Pieces: “They did a lot of modelling. Catherine was on the cover of one of the catalogues, blowing out candles. Later on, she did some styling and set up the First Birthday side of the business. Pippa did the blog. I still value their ideas and opinions.”

Kate texted her mom: “You can see why the Middletons remain such a close family (Catherine texted her on the shoot to wish her luck).”

She’s the hostess: “I do love a good party. I’m definitely a night owl and a real chatterbox. My children look at me sometimes…”

[From The Daily Mail, The Telegraph and Harper’s Bazaar]

I realize that Carole could have given an interview at any time, to any outlet. She’s been quiet publicly all of these years by her choice, and because she thought it would be frowned upon by the royal courtiers. So my question is… why is she no longer worried about the royal courtiers? Why isn’t she worried that someone from the palace will snipe at her in the next week for giving an interview where she really had nothing to promote except herself, and maybe Party Pieces a little bit? Why now? Also: remember how the British tabloids insisted that Doria Ragland gave an interview to Oprah and everyone called Doria “tacky” and whatever, and then it turned out that Doria and Oprah just hung out and there was no interview? I wonder if those same people are mad at Carole.

Photos courtesy of WENN, Avalon Red and Backgrid.

Donald Trump looked like a friggin’ hostage in Buenos Aires, Argentina. He was there for the G20 conference, and of course he didn’t want to be there. But it seemed notable just how out-of-sorts he was across the board – he seemed weak. He looked weak. He is weak. No one wanted to talk to him. Even when other leaders made an effort with him, he just wandered off like a senile Nazi:

Oh my lord.

Trump just wandered right off the stage, leaving the Argentinian president all by himself.

A staffer is then observed attempting to stop and retrieve Trump.

Ladies and gentlemen… Donald Trump.

pic.twitter.com/JhZpKFfiZG

— TO? ?O?E T?AViS (@TopRopeTravis) December 1, 2018

At the G20, he also seemed weak on “the wall” and China, which Axios is making a big deal about. Not even two years into his presidency, and everything around Trump has the vibe of “lame duck,” meaning… no one wants to work with him, and everyone believes he’ll be out the door soon enough. Speaking of, Axios also has a piece about how Robert Mueller is “writing a ‘report’ in real time, before our eyes, through his cinematic indictments and plea agreements,” and that “he has been making his case bit by bit, in public, since his very first court filing.”

Meanwhile, Vlad Putin was doing bro-shakes with Saudi Arabia’s Crown Prince Mohammed bin Salman, the same prince who ordered Jamal Khashoggi’s murder. The Daily Beast also reports that Russian media is “roasting” Trump. *inserts “It’s what she deserves” GIF*

And finally, the Bush family has let it be known that Donald Trump is invited to HW Bush’s full state funeral because the Bush family didn’t want to look like they’re “stiffing” a sitting #NotMyPresident.

Photos courtesy of Avalon Red.

One of the biggest A-list events of December was *checks notes* the Versace show in New York?? It’s true though, so many A-listers came out for last night’s Versace show, from Lupita Nyong’o to Blake Lively to Uma Thurman to… Kim Kardashian and Kanye West. You know what’s funny about Kim? We’re still supposed to believe that her body is ONLY the result of diet and exercise, even when she’s wandering around with what looks like a fresh boob job. Also: Kim has worn some cheap-looking wigs and extensions in the past, but these extensions and hairpieces are probably the cheapest Barbie-hair-looking crap I’ve ever seen from her. As for Kanye… well, Kanye knows he f–ked up. He’s still trying to act like he wasn’t canceled by everyone.

Also at the Versace show: Diane Kruger and Norman Reedus, just in case you needed another confirmation that yes, they’re still together and yes, they really did have a baby together.

Is Lupita Nyong’o wearing vintage Versace, or is this just how Versace clothes look these days? Honestly, all of these pieces look vintage.

Blake Lively has been doing curly hair a lot lately. Does she have naturally curly hair, because this looks pretty natural? Or is it some kind of perm?

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Photos courtesy of Getty and Backgrid.

Remember towards the end of the summer, we basically had a series of debates about what the Duchess of Sussex could or should do about the trashy side of her family? The White Markles were giving daily interviews, bitching out Meghan regularly and they were doing it for profit: the British tabloids paid Samantha Grant and Thomas Markle for their every inappropriate and tacky thought. At the end of the day, Meghan just waited them out – perhaps she knew that people would eventually get tired of them, and that Samantha and Thomas would basically punch themselves out. Meghan took the long view and didn’t engage, and I think that mostly worked in her favor. Well, I wonder if she’s doing the same thing now, about this sudden smear campaign that seems to be coming from within the palace walls. If she suspects that Prince Charles, his staff, or the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge are behind some or many of these terrible stories, will she just bide her time and take the long view? According to Katie Nicholl at Vanity Fair, maybe?

It’s been Meghan Markle’s toughest week yet as a royal in the media spotlight, but the Duchess of Sussex has a way of dealing with all the bad press: she simply doesn’t read it. According to royal sources, Meghan makes a point of not reading negative stories about herself, even in the midst of a media storm like the one that has come this week, with ongoing rumors about tension between Meghan and her sister-in-law, Kate Middleton. While Prince Harry often reads newspapers (including The Sun, which broke the story that he and Meghan were leaving London), Meghan has made a point of steering clear.

“Meghan is a believer in karma and she doesn’t want to sit there reading negative online stories and comments about herself,” said a source. “She feels to a degree the British press is out to get her and while she’s aware of the news and what’s going on, she tries her best not to read all the stories about her.”

Palace courtiers have refused to enter the dialogue and will neither confirm or deny the stories; the Palace has “no plans to engage in this narrative,” according to one source. Instead it was down to Kate to try to extinguish the flames during a trip to Leicester, when she said she was very excited about Harry and Meghan expecting a baby and how much fun the royal cousins will have growing up.

[From Vanity Fair]

I really did laugh out loud at “Meghan is a believer in karma.” YAS KWEEN. Meghan will sit back and wait for karma to come for these fools. Maybe karma will even be helped along by some strategic leaks of her own. I mean, Meghan has been around the royals for more than a year now. Who’s to say she hasn’t been quietly compiling some stories which she’ll eventually leak too? As for Meg “not reading” the negative stories – I mean, that’s crap. She reads the stuff, or her people read it and summarize for her. She just doesn’t want her palace haters to know that she’s reading it. She doesn’t want to give them the satisfaction.

Photos courtesy of WENN, Avalon Red.

Royal reporter Jo Macfarlane at the Mail on Sunday has another exclusive royal story to add to the pile of shenanigans this weekend. As I said on Sunday, this makes two weekends in a row where “sources” far and wide are trying to paint the Duchess of Sussex as the worst diva imaginable. There are so many racist dog-whistles in these articles, and obviously, we have a lot of theories about who is pushing what story. This MoS story seems to come from deep within the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge’s camp – you can read the full piece here. Some highlights:

Will & Kate will likely spend this Christmas in Bucklebury: It’s set to be quite a gathering at the Middletons, in fact, with growing speculation that William and Kate, the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge, will turn down the traditional Royal Christmas at Sandringham and join the party in the Berkshire countryside instead. Yet for all the domestic merriment on offer in Bucklebury – William is known to particularly enjoy the old-fashioned games the Middletons specialise in – his decision to retreat to the in-laws might also signify something less cheery and rather more troubling, according to Royal observers. Indeed, it now seems likely that William and Kate will spend Christmas not only apart from Harry and his pregnant wife Meghan, but many miles away.

The “mole hunt”: With the stream of disclosures threatening to become a torrent, The Mail on Sunday understands courtiers at Kensington Palace have started a ‘mole hunt’ in an attempt to stop leaks to the media that have led to so many unfavourable reports.

The Cambridges & Sussexes have had issues since last Christmas: As early as last Christmas… Meghan was suggesting she didn’t feel entirely welcome with all members of the family. And it was in response that Charles attempted to smooth things over by engineering an invitation to Anmer Hall – William and Kate’s country home near Sandringham. He hoped it might bring the couples together. It didn’t go well. Indeed, one well-placed source says the occasion was marred by a ‘ghastly row’ between the couples – one reason there will be no repeat this Christmas. A senior Royal aide has revealed that the atmosphere at Anmer soured shortly after Harry and his then fiancee had arrived, and Meghan was judged to have been ‘downright rude’.

What went down at Anmer Hall: ‘Kate had a quiet word with Meghan,’ says the aide. ‘It escalated rapidly after Meghan complained to Harry that she had been “told off”. He took her side, while William defended Kate, who was five months pregnant with Louis and certainly didn’t want this sort of confrontation.’ Kate, it is said, already felt put upon in being asked to host Meghan and Harry. Tired and pregnant, she had been hoping for a quiet Christmas. Perhaps the strain showed.

William had his doubts about Meghan: This is by no means an isolated example of Meghan’s supposed high-handedness, according to chatter in Royal circles. This newspaper has learned from one of William’s closest friends that the Prince had doubts about how suitable Meghan might be as his brother’s bride – and that he voiced them. It is understood William’s concerns reached the ears of the Queen and, more pertinently, of Harry himself. One member of William’s circle told the MoS: ‘The problem is that the Cambridges felt things had moved very quickly between Harry and Meghan. Wills particularly was worried and felt close enough to Harry to voice his thoughts.’

Kate is a Steel Marshmallow: It is understood that Kate has had a number of meetings over tea in which she has attempted to explain the rules of The Firm to Meghan – and that her advice didn’t go down well. Kate is said to have told friends she was very sad about what was happening and felt that Harry was ‘changing’. ‘She and Harry have always had a very close relationship, but she said things were different,’ says one. But if William’s wife has become adept at fading into the background, that does not make her soft. On the contrary. ‘Meghan’s a strong character and so is Kate, so it doesn’t surprise me there have been clashes,’ said the source. Indeed, some are calling her a Steel Marshmallow, a phrase first applied to William and Harry’s great-grandmother, the late Queen Mother.

[From The Daily Mail]

As I keep saying, there are so many theories flying around about where all of these anti-Meg leaks are coming from, and I believe it’s a combination of several different courts, from Buckingham Palace to Clarence House and even (of course) Kensington Palace. Can we all agree that this particular piece was formulated at Kensington Palace, deep within the recesses of Camp Cambridge? Because this has William and Kate written all over it. The Cambridges have been trading off Christmases at Sandringham and Bucklebury for years, and this year was always going to be a Bucklebury year. I theorized that Will and Kate would want to make it a Sandringham year because they wouldn’t want Harry and Meg to have too much attention at the all-important church stroll photo-op. But now it’s looking like Will and Kate are using their “feud” with the Sussexes as an excuse to show off their “Bucklebury Royal Court” this Christmas. (That being said, the Daily Mail NOW claims that William and Kate are going to spend Christmas as Sandringham because the Queen ordered them or something.)

As for William “voicing” his concerns and all of this pearl clutching over Harry “changing” and “moving too fast”… yes, William could not believe that Harry wouldn’t make a woman waity for a decade before marrying her. William also can’t believe that Harry would marry a woman who – gasp! – truly hit the ground running, who seems to enjoy royal work, who has a work ethic, who has her own ideas and opinions. This is such a mess.

Photos courtesy of WENN, Avalon Red.

On Saturday I attempted to upgrade the backend here at Celebitchy. I thought I knew what I was doing and I did it right! It’s just that one of the databases broke through a fluke, the site had to be restored from a backup and it was a lot of stress. We were back by Sunday morning, no harm no foul. Plus I watched a couple of cute Netflix movies while eating my feelings (The Christmas Chronicles and The Tribe) and I got to see the new Ariana Grande video for “thank u, next!” I watched it a few times, it was super cute and I enjoyed it. As you know, I’ve turned into an Ari stan since she dumped Pete Davidson and owned that narrative. Honestly I didn’t immediately recognize the four early 2000s movies the video is referencing, even though I’ve seen three of them. (I haven’t seen Bring it On yet!) The Washington Post has a handy explainer video along with the scenes that she’s referencing from Mean Girls, Legally Blonde, 13 Going on 30 and Bring it On. That’s below. In case you can’t watch the video at work, THR has a breakdown too. Everyone is talking about this cute video, dissecting the references she’s making and bringing it back to Ari’s theme of owning her personal story. She is her own brand and she is amazing! Here’s that video with the breakdown of the references, the actual video is above.

While I enjoyed the hell out of this and don’t mind having this song running in a loop in my head, of course this was all planned for maximum exposure and to get us talking. Friday used to be where stories went to die, but now it’s how something gets talked about all weekend. It worked too, thank u, next broke the YouTube record for most views in 24 hours. Plus there’s a lot to unpack. Ari half admits she dumped Pete (she wrote “sorry I dipped” in the burn book next to Pete) and she references his BDE with the word Huuuuge under his page. (That’s at 1:05.) Then, she has a conversation with Jennifer Coolidge at the hair salon in a scene that’s straight from Legally Blonde (Coolidge played Paulette in that movie) where Ariana said “he was really cute and it was really big” and Coolidge says “I’ve only gone out with one guy who had a really big front tooth.” Then they do the bend and snap from Legally Blonde. Plus it’s got Kris Jenner in it!

These are not my teen movies, I grew up in the (late!) 80s but especially for the people who loved and watched these films as teens, Ariana just nailed it. The director of this video, Hannah Lux Davis, told Cosmopolitan she was obsessed with Mean Girls and that she worked with Ariana to work in other movies from their youth. She also revealed some Easter eggs in the video, like that the cheerleaders wore uniforms that said “Lovers” instead of “Clovers.”

I’m going to start teaching Zumba soon, and I just found my cooldown and stretch song. I’m going to do the arm swing thing (Mean girls Christmas performance) followed by the bend and snap (cheerleaders!) at the refrain. I’ll have to use the clean version though. Sometimes people bring their kids with them.

In other Ariana news, she tweeted “True love doesn’t exist” and then tried to take it back, deleting it and writing that she was hungry. She also wrote that on the day she came up with “thank u, next,” she went to Tiffanys with her friends, drank champagne and bought everyone rings. That sounds like an awesome way to get over a breakup.

well …………. ‘twas a pretty rough day in nyc. my friends took me to tiffany’s. we had too much champagne. i bought us all rings. ? it was very insane and funny. & on the way back to the stu njomza was like ‘bitch, this gotta be a song lol’. so we wrote it that afternoon. https://t.co/CoczmPj1Fo

— Ariana Grande (@ArianaGrande) December 1, 2018

Sleeping woman stock photo via pexels
This is my third post with personal recommendations from Amazon. These contain affiliate links. This is all stuff I own and none of the products were sent or recommended to us. Other posts did well and I will be making this a weekly or even twice weekly feature. (Read this post from Pajiba to get an idea of why we’re looking for additional sources of revenue. I do get to work from home, take naps every afternoon and write about celebrities for a living. Please do not feel obligated to buy stuff from these links and look up other options including secondhand and from eBay. This may get annoying and seem sponcon-y at some point and for that I’m sorry!)

I’m one of those people who imagine that the right product can streamline my life. Very rarely does that happen, but this simple folding device delivered! I saw this on one of those Bustle “things you need from Amazon” lists. I’m not a Marie Kondo convert in that I tried to pare down my possessions but realized I like having a lot of stuff, particularly clothes. (I follow Clutterbug, she helped me organize. I’m never going to have a capsule wardrobe, I want options.) Now my clothes are all folded to a uniform size, they look neat-ish in the drawer, and my teenage son even helps me fold and put away the laundry. If you’d like to save a little money and are crafty, Do it on a Dime has instructions for making one of these from Dollar Tree items.