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Naomi Watts and Billy Crudup are a low-key couple. They confirmed they were dating in 2017 but didn’t walk a red carpet together until 2022. In April, Naomi appeared on the Today show wearing a giant diamond on that finger but wouldn’t answer questions about it. I’m guessing they planned to keep their wedding as under-the-radar as possible. But after paparazzi photos surfaced of Naomi in a white dress and flower bouquet, and both of them wearing gold wedding bands, Naomi posted a photo to Instagram to confirm that they got married.

Naomi Watts and Billy Crudup are married!

The King Kong star, 54, confirmed her marriage to The Morning Show actor, 54, in an Instagram post on Saturday, a day after the pair sparked marriage rumors when they were spotted in wedding gear in photos obtained by Page Six.

Watts shared a photo of herself and Crudup in front of what appeared to be a Manhattan courthouse with wide smiles as Watts holds onto a bouquet of white flowers.

The actress, wearing a gorgeous white wedding dress, stood opposite Crudup, who donned a sleek navy suit without a tie.

“Hitched! ???????,” Watts simply captioned the photo.

Watts’ social media post came after photos shared pictures of the star in the same Oscar de la Renta dress, holding the same flowers and wearing a gold wedding band a day prior.

In the images, Crudup also wore a band on his ring finger, and rocked the same navy suit he’s wearing in his now-wife’s latest Instagram snap.

Watts was previously spotted out and about in New York City wearing a large diamond on her left ring finger in April, which sparked engagement rumors at the time when she wore the ring on the same finger during a Today appearance.

“My eye is hurting. There’s a big glint coming from some ring over here,” Hoda Kotb said on air. “It just struck me. But it’s beautiful.” Trying to avoid the topic, Watts smiled shyly and replied: “Oh, the brain fog!”

[From People]

I wonder if they would have shared anything with us about the wedding if photos hadn’t come out first. I love Naomi’s Oscar de la Renta dress. It’s perfect for a courthouse wedding, romantic and special without being too grand. In the Page Six photos you can see it better, and it’s one of those dresses with a nude lining so that it looks “sheer” from far away. I normally don’t like that kind of thing, but it’s well-deployed here. You can see the details of the lace pattern better than if it had been lined in white. I’d consider a courthouse wedding if it had beautiful architecture. My friends got married at the San Francisco courthouse and their photos were gorgeous. A courthouse wedding fits Naomi and Billy’s lowkey vibe. It’s also the first time either one of them has been married, which I didn’t expect. In my brain Naomi and her ex Liev Schrieber were married, but they were actually just dating for eleven years.

I thought it was hilariously petty that Page Six ended the story by reminding everyone that Billy left Mary Louise Parker when she was seven months pregnant for Claire Danes. That is peak dirtbag behavior, and I think that’s why he’s kept his dating life out of the public eye ever since. Between 2006-2017 when he started dating Naomi, we don’t know anything about who he was with. But I’m presuming his dirtbag days are over. I looked it up and he’s a Cancer, she’s a Libra. Is that considered a compatible match? I know traditionally, water and earth signs are good together, but not so much water and air.

Naomi Watts, Billy Crudup fuel marriage rumors as they’re spotted wearing matching wedding rings https://t.co/Ay7yiJaRoE pic.twitter.com/OMvJdSHFDA

— Page Six (@PageSix) June 12, 2023

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You guys know I don’t normally say “you should absolutely read this Daily Mail story,” but you should absolutely read this Daily Mail story. This story is the most comprehensive explanation of what went wrong with Carole Middleton’s (now failed) business Party Pieces. As we’ve heard in recent weeks, PP was utterly bankrupt when it was sold (without its debt) to James Sinclair for £180,000. We learned that PP had racked up seven-figure debt, more than £2.6 million all together, including pandemic loans, back payments on the commercial property, and stiffing so many vendors. The Mail’s Guy Adams and Calum Muirhead tried to untangle the mysterious web of lies and mismanagement that led to all of this and it’s so fascinating. Some highlights:

The mysterious Middleton finances: The Middleton family finances have always been shrouded in mystery. The Middletons have somehow been able to send their three children to top public schools, while simultaneously building a property portfolio that at various points included a Chelsea flat, plus a £4.7 million Grade II listed Georgian mansion in Berkshire.

The Middletons always acted as if they were rich: Having begun life as a sort of catalogue firm, its business model seemed to be transformed by the internet revolution of the late 1990s, which allowed Party Pieces to become one of the most visible operators in the online field. Its website began selling thousands of different product lines to customers across the country and even expanded overseas. In other words, it looked every inch a huge success. How else, one might ask, could Carole and Michael afford to take family holidays in Mustique? Buy prime land? (In 2005, they paid £295,000 in cash for several acres near their home). Own racehorses? (For a time they had a share of a handy sprinter named Sohraab). And employ somewhere in the region of 30 staff at the converted barn headquarters of Party Pieces in rural Berkshire?

Party Pieces was a private partnership: What no one ever really knew, however, was the exact amount of money the family business was making. Run for years as a privately owned partnership, it never had to file full accounts at Companies House. That made it impossible for anyone to work out how much cash was passing through, or what sort of dividends were being paid to the family. Since profit margins in the online sales business are notoriously slim, a handful of cynics have sometimes wondered if Party Pieces was quite the success story we were being led to believe.

PP’s debt: On Wednesday it emerged that, after 36 years in business, the Middleton family firm has gone under, leaving debts of £2.6million. It’s a development that has left many stunned, not least an army of small suppliers who are now left badly out of pocket. Many had prided themselves on dealing with the Middletons and were perhaps entitled to believe, given their royal connections, that outstanding debts would eventually be taken care of.

Carole Middleton’s betrayal: Take, for example, Sultani Gas, a Kent-based company that supplied Party Pieces with helium for its balloons. It’s currently owed £20,430, according to the administrator’s report. A spokesman said this week that they felt ‘betrayed’ by Mrs Middleton. ‘What hurt me the most was that I trusted her as the mother-in-law of the future King and she just betrayed me,’ the representative said. ‘It is absolutely unacceptable.’ Take also the firm’s landlord, Lord Iliffe, on whose Yattendon estate the company has been based for many years. The estate is out of pocket to the tune of £57,480 and James Hole, the agent for Iliffe, said it now faces ‘severe financial consequences’, adding: ‘They have been long-term tenants. We were astonished about the amount of money owed to others.’

Party Pieces seemingly restructured in 2019: Because Party Pieces is now a limited company (the aforementioned partnership structure was dismantled a few years back), Carole and Michael Middleton have no personal responsibility, legally speaking, to repay any of these debts. That in turn leaves ordinary working Britons on the hook for a business failure presided over by the mother-in-law of the future King.

What happened in 2019: That year also saw them turn the business from a partnership into a private limited company, taking on new directors (and investors). They included Steven Bentwood, a lingerie tycoon whose firm Stirling Group used to supply scanties to Marks & Spencer, and Darryl Eales, a former financier and sports businessman who previously chaired Oxford United FC and owns Wigan Warriors — the most successful club in the history of British rugby league. The corporate change meant it would in future have to file accounts. And the first ones to become public, exactly a year ago, revealed that it had managed to run up annual losses of more than £1 million. Still, the period in question had been heavily affected by the pandemic, which for a time had a dramatic effect on the public’s appetite for (and ability to stage) parties. So there was little indication that Party Pieces — in which Carole and Michael remained majority shareholders — faced any imminent threat.

Carole was still hustling as recently as April: In April, the firm said it was looking to ‘secure additional investment’ to support ‘the next phase’ of its growth plans. And only seven months before it went to the wall, Carole launched Party Pieces in the U.S. and used a cardboard cut-out of herself to promote the move.

Carole’s business partners abandoned her as the company fell deeper into debt: Signs of impending disaster only really began to emerge when Bentwood, who was chief executive of its parent company, resigned on March 23. He was followed out the door a day later by Eales. Behind the scenes, many creditors were by this point desperate.

The debt left behind in Carole’s wake: The aforementioned Sultani Gas had been offering credit to Party Pieces but stopped when the debt had reached £35,000. ‘We started chasing; they were making excuses,’ explained a spokesman, who says he was called by Mrs Middleton on ‘her personal mobile…She apologised. She said that one of the managers was failing to deal with it, so she said, “I’m personally going to deal with it. I’ll rectify everything. I won’t be able to pay it in one lump: I’ll pay it on a weekly basis”.’ Sultani, which had been about to hire a debt collector, took her at her word. ‘Then she said, “I need some more stock”.’ This was sold to her — but not on credit. Some of the weekly repayments were made, the Sultani spokesman said, but others were not. ‘Carole didn’t answer her phone.’ Text messages were also allegedly ignored. Ultimately unable to pay its bills, Party Pieces fell into administration.

Sultani Gas & other businesses are on the hook for thousands: ‘We received a letter from the [administrators],’ added the gas firm. ‘After that [Party Pieces] sent us an email and said, “This is what happened”. They said the business [was going to be] taken over by a new firm – “and you’ll be the first person who’ll get paid”.’ This week the administrators’ report has put paid to any lingering hopes of that. The lost revenue means Sultani’s profit for the year has effectively been wiped out. Other major creditors, according to the report, include Portuguese gas canister maker Amtrol Alfa, which is owed £82,872, and party decorations firm Ginger Ray, due £52,304. Worryingly, the administrators’ report made it clear that it is ‘highly unlikely’ that any of these organisations would receive any of the money that they are owed.

[From The Daily Mail]

I cannot even imagine accumulating this kind of debt over the course of a handful of years. The company was running at a significant, seven-figure loss as of 2019, which is when Party Pieces restructured from a private partnership to a private limited company, with business partners coming on board to – I would assume – invest heavily in the business, probably with an idea towards expansion into foreign markets (at least that’s what they claimed at the time). While “sources close to Carole” insist that she had stepped away from the daily operations, it’s more than clear that she still operated (mismanaged) PP’s operations and she still had the largest stake in the company. So my question is: was it always a con job? Was Party Pieces ever successful? Did it ever turn much of a profit? Was it always a shell game?

Photos courtesy of Backgrid, Instagram.

Last week, I saw a sweet story on social media. A local bike shop in Montecito decided to give Prince Archie a cute little red bike for his fourth birthday, and one month after Archie received the gift, his parents sent a thank-you letter to the bike shop. A lovely story, a story about how a local business wanted to show their support for their local royals. A story about a little ginger prince receiving a great little bike. Of course, the British media and the Derangers had to turn the story into something crazy.

First off, the bike shop – Mad Dogs & Englishmen – posted a photo of the bike with a message that didn’t even name-check Archie. They just wrote: “We hope yesterday’s special birthday boy had a wonderful day surrounded by lots of love, friends and family. Martin gifted him a new kids bike out of our Montecito shop! We really hope he enjoys it. His little sis can ride as well when she gets a bit bigger.” They only identified Archie as the recipient once they got the letter from the Sussexes’ office. So what’s so upsetting about a local business in California giving a child a free bike for his birthday? I have no idea, but the replies got so bad on Mad Dogs & Englishmen’s Instagram that they closed the comments. The Telegraph also clutched their pearls so hard at the whole story.

The Duke and Duchess of Sussex have accepted a free bike from a British business owner for their son’s birthday. Prince Archie turned four on May 6, the day of the King’s Coronation. But while the Duke travelled to London for the ceremony, the Duchess stayed at home in Montecito, California, where she took delivery of the surprise gift. The red bike was hand-delivered to the family home by Martin Watson, co-owner of Mad Dogs & Englishmen, a bike shop in the US town. Mr Watson did not hear any more about it, but this week he received a letter.

It said: “On behalf of Prince Harry and Meghan, the Duke and Duchess of Sussex, please accept their sincere thanks for the thoughtful gift you sent to Prince Archie for his fourth birthday. The bike has brought much joy and is most appreciated by the family. They asked that I convey their gratitude at the lovely surprise.” The note was signed by Harrison Colcord, a former sales director at the San Ysidro Ranch in Santa Barbara, who is thought to have been recently hired by the couple’s private office.

Jennifer Blevins, Mr Watson’s partner, revealed that the bike was a spontaneous decision he made on the day.

“He went and got one of our little Specialized bikes – they’re really nice little bikes – and he’s like, ‘This one’s perfect. It’s got training wheels,’” she told People magazine. “So he went and got some birthday balloons, and he got some flowers for Meghan and a birthday card, and he said, ‘OK, I’m gonna bike over and take it to their house.’” On arrival, he was greeted by security, who asked if he had received an invitation from the couple. “He said: ‘I’m just a British business in town that wanted to give Archie a gift,’” Ms Blevins said.

After running an on-site background check, security allowed him to leave the flowers, card, balloons and bike. The couple heard no more about it until Wednesday. “A courier came by our little shop on Coast Village Road and he dropped off that letter,” Ms Blevins said. “I was making a joke. I said, ‘It better be a thank you letter’ and it really was. I wasn’t expecting that. I had no idea.It was so thoughtful because, you know, they took the time to write something personal and not just a generic thank you.”

After sharing the note on social media, the couple were criticised by some people, who asked why they had not donated the bike to a less privileged child. In response, they said they donate a lot of bikes and support dog charities.

“This wasn’t a donation – it was a gift. It was a very impromptu gesture by Martin because he’s British and we have a bike shop in Montecito. We thought it would be fun.” They said they had shared the message because they were “proud and honoured”.

While official gifts must be declared, members of the Royal family are allowed to accept personal gifts, as long as doing so does not place them “under any obligation to the donor”.

[From The Telegraph]

So the (selective) issue is that the Sussexes “accepted a gift” and “kept the gift”? That’s it? Y’all know that Charles was literally accepting suitcases full of cash, right? Y’all remember that Camilla got so many shady “gifts” from the Saudi royal family that they actually had to change the disclosure rules just for her? Y’all know that designers frequently “give” Kate jewelry, purses and clothes, often using Pippa or Carole as a go-between, right? And y’all know that Kate and William have accepted tons of gifts for their kids as well? Besides all of that, Harry and Meghan don’t have to play by those (utterly arbitrary) gift rules anymore. Archie deserves presents too, and that’s what people are really mad about, that a local business thought it would be nice to give a kid a bike for his birthday.

Photos courtesy of Instagram, Netflix, Archewell.

Last week, royal commentator Jennie Bond shared some “new insight” about the Prince and Princess of Wales, and by that I mean, she repeated what had already been reported and widely insinuated following Queen Elizabeth II’s death last year. Bond claimed that William and Kate are going to step back from royal tours. Bond said:

“William and Catherine are really the stars of the royal family these days. They have youth on their side and a good dusting of glamour surrounds them. They are also extremely popular both here and abroad. So there is no doubt that the foreign office will be calling on them to carry out some high-profile royal tours. But I think the days of lengthy tours, leaving the children to be looked after by nannies, are over. Largely, I think the school holidays will be respected, and future tours will be short and extremely busy.”

[From Sky News]

LOL – William and Kate are just so dreadfully popular, that’s why they can’t go on royal tours anymore, they’re just too popular, you guys. Nevermind that their last big tour was to the Caribbean and it was an utter catastrophe of racism and colonialism, full of problematic imagery and Will and Kate staggering around, making asses of themselves. In the wake of the Caribbean Flop Tour, royal experts even said at the time “maybe we shouldn’t send any of these morons out into the world anymore.” All of which brings me to this story in the Mail – royal sources are pointing out that a third of Kate’s “events” nowadays are within a 12-mile radius of Adelaide Cottage.

As a mother of three young children, the Princess of Wales knows how hard it is to juggle the demands of family life with her duties as a senior Royal. So it is understandable that many of her public engagements since becoming Princess of Wales have been very close to her home in Windsor Castle.

An analysis by The Mail on Sunday can reveal that almost a third of her working days – 18 out of 61 – since assuming her title in September were within 12 miles of Adelaide Cottage. Last week, for instance, Kate, 41, visited the Windsor Family Hub on Tuesday and Maidenhead Rugby Club, seven miles away, on Wednesday.

One Royal watcher quipped: ‘Perhaps Kate ought to be retitled the Princess of Slough!’

Another source said: ‘It has been noted that there have been an awful lot of jobs for both Kate and William near their home. But they have always said that the kids come first so it stands to reason that they want one of them to be there for the school run.’

Dickie Arbiter, former press secretary to the Queen, said: ‘She is a working mother and the kids do come home. Like any mother she likes to be there for them. Diana did the same.’

[From The Daily Mail]

Diana did not “do the same.” Diana worked constantly all over the UK and abroad. Diana was an incredibly popular royal and countries begged the Foreign Office for Diana to visit them. No one is begging Peg and Buttons to go anywhere. They’re not welcome abroad, and they’re too lazy to leave Windsor. It’s so funny, my god.

Photos courtesy of Instar, Cover Images.

On May 30th, Princess Eugenie and Jack Brooksbank welcomed their second son, Ernest George Ronnie Brooksbank. Ernest joins big brother August Philip Hawke Brooksbank, who is now two years old. Buckingham Palace announced the news of the birth on June 5th. I still believe it was timed that way for two reasons: one, white royals are afforded the chance to actually recuperate and spend time with their child before making a birth announcement and two, the palace believed that they could overshadow Prince Harry’s appearance in court. In any case, Eugenie got to announce the birth how she wanted, on Instagram, with the first photos. Then less than two weeks following Ernest’s birth, he was added to the line of succession:

An official change to the British line of succession has been made! Princess Eugenie and Jack Brooksbank’s second baby, Ernest George Ronnie, has officially been added to the line of succession on the royal family’s website.

While Ernest was born on May 30th, his name was only recently added to the official list, making him 13th in line to the throne, just behind his big brother, August Brooksbank.

He is also the first of Queen Elizabeth’s great-grandchildren to be born following her death in September and the third grandchild for the Duke and Duchess of York, Prince Andrew, and Sarah Ferguson. With his addition to the official order of succession, Princess Eugenie’s uncle Prince Edward moves down a place, and Edward’s teenage children — James, Viscount Severn, and Lady Louise — subsequently move down a slot.

[From People]

From what I can tell, Ernest was added on June 9th or 10th, meaning it took Buckingham Palace about ten days to update the line of succession online. Which is, traditionally, pretty standard. New babies are usually put on the list within a week or two. Which makes it even more notable, racist and appalling that Buckingham Palace made a point of waiting OVER SEVEN WEEKS in 2021 to add Princess Lilibet’s name to the line of succession. Following that disgusting move, one of King Charles’s first moves as monarch was refusing to update Archie and Lilibet’s titles for more than six months on the line of succession.

Photos courtesy of Eugenie’s IG, Cover Images and Avalon Red.

Intro: Minutes 0 to 7:45
We have two new writers, Carina and Kismet, and two new comment moderators. Everyone is so great! I watched Somebody Somewhere on HBO and loved it. I also saw the Duggar documentary on Amazon, Shiny Happy People. It was well done but hard to take. Chandra loved Succession but found Ted Lasso lacking. She also liked Cocaine Bear but hated Scream 6. You can listen below!

Royals: Minutes 7:45 to 23:15
This week Prince Harry testified in his case against The Mirror Group newspapers. He was composed under cross examination, he made a compelling case and he made so many headlines. His witness statement was heartbreaking. A lot of these details were left out of Spare, probably because of his ongoing lawsuits. He called out Piers Morgan for publishing hurtful stories about his mother in the months leading up to her death and for harassing him and Meghan recently. This lawsuit covers up to 2011 so that’s why Meghan isn’t included, which is confusing to the British media. This case is about 33 articles published about Harry. His side only has to prove that hacking was involved in one of them.

While Harry was testifying the firm sent out Princess Kate to try to pull focus. She went to the Windsor Family Hub on Tuesday and apparently the women at the center were only given a half hour notice that she was coming with photographers. Then on Wednesday she did a rugby event.

In an obvious move to avoid Harry, Charles announced to the press ahead of time that he would be at his place in Transylvania this week. He came back to London after five days though.

William and Kate went to Crown Prince Hussein’s royal wedding in Jordan last week and looked just as pissed off at each other as they always do. I play a clip where we talked about that on Zoom.

The Middletons are getting exposed for their shady business dealings. They owe millions to creditors and had to sell Party Pieces in a fire sale. We mention how Kate pulled focus from Charles and Camilla at the Chelsea Flower Show.

Taylor Swift: Minutes 23:15 to 28:15
Taylor Swift and Matt Healy broke up this week just about a month after we first heard about them. It’s very likely he was the reason for her breakup with Joe Alwyn. He’s the frontman for the band The 1975 and he’s said and done some racist and anti-Semitic things recently that there’s no way Taylor didn’t know about. Taylor did a collaboration with Ice Spice, whom Healy was racist about, which makes it seem like Taylor and Matt were together longer than they claimed. There were a bunch of stories about how close they were until their breakup, when outlets made it sound like it was a fling. It’s been amazing to watch Taylor’s fans hold her accountable.

Comments of the Week: Minutes 28:15 to end
Chandra’s comment of the week is from Aud on the post about the Middletons stiffing their creditors. Chandra wonders why neither William nor James Mathews, Pippa’s husband, has helped the Middletons out.

My comment of the week is from Slush on the post about Martha Stewart telling people to go into the office while she works from home. Chandra remembers Martha’s interview where she said her workers needed to be available to take calls at any time. I read that interview and she fired a guy for not talking to her on a Sunday – when he was taking a bath!

Thanks for listening bitches!

Roya Nikkhah had a lengthy article in the Sunday Times. Nikkhah is one of the most recent “favorites” of both Kensington Palace and Buckingham Palace, although I tend to associate her more with Prince William above the other royals. Nikkhah has gotten some very curious and Peg-specific exclusives in recent years, that’s all I’ll say. In any case, Roya’s palace sources were exceptionally chatty last week, and wouldn’t you know, it’s all about Prince Harry. The palace is scared sh-tless, as is the British media. Instead of just saying that, these people are whining and crying about the fact that they have no way to control Harry anymore and he’s doing real damage to them. Hahahahaha. Some highlights:

Exasperated sighs: Since leaving the royal fold, Harry has repeatedly claimed “the institution” refused to stand up for him and Meghan with the British press, a claim that induces exasperated sighs and rolling eyes in the royal households. It also prompts former aides who worked with the couple and who pushed their relationships with the media to the limit defending them to recall Elizabeth II’s phrase: “Some recollections may vary.”

Palace courtiers swear that Harry never asked about being hacked when he was a kid: But his claim last week that alleged phone hacking by MGN was “contained within the palace” left a senior former courtier who worked with William and Harry during that period scratching their head. “Did we keep things from him? No. At no point did it come up that the Mirror was doing it while I was there, it never came across our desk. I never had any conversations with either of the princes about ‘where are the Mirror getting those stories from?’”

How dare Harry sue the press when he’s gotten positive coverage!! The prince said he would feel it “an injustice” if phone hacking cannot be proved, but the former aide says: “It’s a means to get revenge on the tabloids and an opportunity to pursue that mission, win or lose. He won’t want to lose, but he will have had his chance to say ‘this is what it was like for me, my family, my girlfriend’. He said much of it in his book, but putting it in court adds an extra layer of credibility. Perhaps all those millions from his book and Netflix deal was to build a war chest to pursue the tabloids until the end. Of course he forgets he’s had a lot of positive coverage over the years. Like an actor, he only remembers the bad reviews.

Harry’s political comment: One barbed comment in Harry’s 55-page witness statement last week got Palace aides particularly hot under the collar, given the constitutional requirement for the royal family to be “above politics”. The fifth-in-line to the throne wrote: “Our country is judged globally by the state of our press and our government, both of which I believe are at rock bottom.” Has the prince, who travelled the world for years representing the UK, so soon forgotten that Britain is also judged internationally by its royal family? To many, his comment was woefully misjudged, others saw it as unconstitutional. Either way, what must the royal family make of their unelected, exiled prince launching attacks on this country’s elected representatives?

Why are they so worried about what an “exiled prince” has to say?? A royal source says: “The Palace will find that extremely difficult and uncomfortable, because you can never fully separate yourself from the institution and it will have raised eyebrows on both sides of the park — at Westminster too — not least because it wasn’t necessary for the core of his case. But it only underlines the wisdom and importance of [Elizabeth II’s] decisions taken at Sandringham [the family summit in January 2020], that you cannot be half-in and half-out. Those decisions are now the royal family’s insurance — when one of its members continues to break with convention, they can point out that he is speaking as Harry Windsor, not as the Duke of Sussex, working member of the royal family representing the nation. Then, there is the deep irony of a member of the royal family talking about how the country is judged around the world, which is often by and through the royal family. It shows a deep misunderstanding by him.”

Harry is embarrassing Britain!! A source who knows Harry well, says: “I think he’s been sitting in the Californian sunshine for a long time, hanging out with James Corden [the actor and TV host] and has lost all the instincts on how to do this, how to conduct himself carefully, still as a member of the royal family. He’s lost the knack of what he can and can’t say and there is no one around him to say, ‘No, Harry, you can’t say that, take that bit out’. It’s embarrassing for him and for Britain, for a prince to be saying, ‘We’ve got a sh-t government’.”

Harry has shrugged off the monarchy’s “threats”: The reality is Harry cares little about any of this, because he knows there are no consequences to his actions and the monarchy has no more levers to pull. He has continued to shrug off raised royal eyebrows and veiled threats. The King might have booted his son out of Frogmore Cottage and relegated him to the third row at Westminster Abbey for his coronation behind Princess Anne’s plumed hat, a detail that a royal insider says prompted “much hilarity among the family about where the plume ended up and what it ended up obscuring”. But the Sussexes have kept hold of their titles and those of their children, Prince Archie and Princess Lilibet, proving that however unconstitutional their words or deeds, the punishment is unlikely to be heavier than fiddling with seating plans for the occasional state occasion.

King Charles is exasperated: Those close to Charles, 74, say he is becoming increasingly exasperated. A source said: “The King brings Harry up every time I see him. I don’t think we’ve moved past sad and bewildered, but there’s a bit more frustration at his behaviour, because it just keeps going.”

They’re shocked that Harry is free: A former courtier says: “We would have been terrified to have a member of the royal family cross-examined on the stand, but Harry thinks ‘bring it on’.” A friend of Harry’s says: “He’s free from the shackles of that mentality. In Meghan he has found someone supportive of that stance and he’s emboldened by that. But the bigger picture is that he believes there are some very significant wrongs that need to be righted. It’s deeper than just wanting his day in court.”

How dare Harry go against the British media: A former courtier has another theory on why Harry is willing to endure the torment: “I think he is seeking inner peace and this becomes the target — he thinks if he can bring the media to heel, it will cure his pain. Sadly, I don’t think it will. He’s still defending his mother. Nothing will take that pain away.”

[From The Times]

“I never had any conversations with either of the princes about ‘where are the Mirror getting those stories from?’” Harry was a child and he already understood that his dogsh-t father was briefing the media about him. Why would he go to the courtiers who were briefing against him? Especially when he was under siege and didn’t know who to trust? As for the rest of it – the palace is shocked that they’re finding out after f–king around for so long. They’re shocked that Harry is, in fact, free to say whatever he wants, sue whoever he wants and criticize the British media’s stranglehold on the British government. The Windsors and the courtiers soothe themselves with their pettiness – oh, Harry was in the third row, what hilarity! – while basically admitting that the jig is up, they’ve done everything to threaten Harry, marginalize Harry and punish Harry and he still rises like a phoenix from the ashes.

Photos courtesy of Avalon Red, Backgrid.

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Scandoval might have turned Ariana Madix into a legit celebrity, elevated in the the upper levels of reality star fame instead of just part of a large ensemble cast. She had a profile in The New York Times, she was on the Today Show, and now she’s snagged a Glamour cover and detailed profile. They really give her the full reflection and new beginning treatment, complete with a light-makeup, light-colored clothing, backyard photoshoot. (My only quibble is that it’s dog-only, what is this cat erasure?!) The profile also has the most detail I’ve seen about Ariana’s backstory, including her childhood in Florida and her early adult years in New York. And of course, the affair scandal and her plans for the future. Some highlights:

On why people are so obsessed with Scandoval: “There are layers to it. The best-friend layer, the fact that [he] and I were together for so long and so many people, including myself, saw us as endgame. It’s the deception, the trying to manipulate a narrative, the fact that so many people have been through this themselves and they recognize parts of it.”

On her immediate reaction to discovering the affair: “I think the shock prevents you from being sad immediately. It was like the air was sucked out of my lungs. It was shock, disbelief on some level, but then also anger. When you’ve been caught red-handed like that, there’s no denying it. It’s cold, hard evidence. So I think he was struggling. I think he was really mad that his little house of cards was crumbling.”

On feeling free now: “I definitely feel this sense of freedom because I was the adviser, the sounding board. And he didn’t like that he wasn’t getting constant validation from his adviser. Now I feel like I don’t have to worry about anybody but myself.”

On the taking the new opportunities she has access to: “We have no generational wealth in our family. I want to make enough money to be able to take care of my mom and my brother and any other family members who may or may not need it. I never want to worry about it ever, ever, ever. So I will work as much as possible to not have to.”

On how she hopes this will help fans and herself: “I feel close to a lot of people who watch the show or who will come to BravoCon or who I’ll message with on Instagram. I know maybe it sounds silly—we’re strangers—but I do feel close to them. I feel like we’re a community. And so with this, I hope that in talking about it and allowing [Bravo] to capture it, maybe I’ll be able to connect with a community of people who will be able to say, ‘This is how I got through this. This is what worked for me.’”

On the theory that it’s all fake: “If I was not a fan, like I wasn’t really paying attention, I might think that about any given show at any given time. If someone says that on my page, they get blocked immediately. If they tag me in a comment that says that, I’ll block them immediately. I’m kind of like, ‘F-ck off, this is my real life.’”

[From Glamour]

I do think Ariana hit the nail on the head with why people are so obsessed with Scandoval. Despite being on a reality show, they seemed like a pretty normal, stable, and relatable couple. And Ariana herself seemed more normal and less like the other delusional fame-hungry strivers on the show, so I think a lot of viewers already related to her. Everything but the fact that it was filmed for posterity is all a very human experience. Also, she says that Tom hid affair evidence in their shared laptop! Either this man wanted to be caught or he’s so dumb. You can definitely see that Ariana feels free now after the end of that relationship. She may not have realized how much it was dragging her down, but now it seems like she has a million opportunities for partnerships and sponsorships and she should certainly capitalize on that for her career and her family’s future. It’s nice that Ariana wants to provide for her family instead of asking her mom for her retirement money to fund her bar. As for connecting with fans over this, I think it’s a two-way street. She’s hoping to learn how others got through this, but also setting the blueprint for even more people about how to move on after a breakup. And it probably really bites Tom’s ass that this has legitimized Ariana’s fame, but turned him into even more of a joke.

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While Carole Middleton likes to portray herself as a matriarch out of a Jane Austen novel, she more closely resembles a trashy, debt-ridden Real Housewife on the verge of bankruptcy. The Teresa Giudice of Bucklebury. Since Carole’s business, Party Pieces, accumulated £2.6 million worth of debt and had to be sold off by the bankruptcy court, suddenly people have a lot of say about the mother of the future queen consort. While Carole always managed her press in a very obvious and unhinged way, suddenly Carole is not the one in control. The sharks smell blood in the water. Carole has just left too much damage in her wake. The Times of London did a lengthy piece where they interviewed some of the business-owners who are owed thousands by Carole. Some highlights:

Sell Middleton Manor & pay your debts: Their suppliers said it was “galling” that the Middletons left invoices unpaid before the firm went bust, and called on the couple, who bought a £5 million manor in Berkshire on the back of Party Pieces’ success, to pay from their own pockets.

Sultani Gas is a small business owned by an Afghan refugee: An Afghan refugee and small business owner has accused the Princess of Wales’s parents of “betrayal” for failing to pay thousands of pounds of debt before their business went bust. Mohamad Pardis, owner of the helium supplier Sultani Gas, said the £20,430 he is owed, which he is “unlikely” to receive, was equivalent to a year’s profits. The father of four, 38, started his business after arriving in the UK as a refugee from Afghanistan. “I thought I was in safe hands and that I could trust the royal family. I’m completely shocked,” he said. “She should pay us out of her own pocket. She’s living in a £5 million house, so it’s next to nothing for them, but for me it’s my profit for a year.”

Carole’s mismanagement has led to a trail of destruction: The report by administrators, Interpath Advisory, said it was “unlikely” that trade creditors, including small companies supplying balloons, toys and party bags, would be paid the £456,000 they are owed. One of those companies is Playwrite Group, a toy importer founded in 1911, which was owed £2,375. James Cornelius, 44, the fourth generation of his family to run the firm, said: “It’s galling when they’re so wealthy. I’m sure they could have made some effort to pay off their creditors, but we haven’t heard anything from them at all. They owed an awful lot of money, luckily not a huge amount to us, but enough that it still hurts. We have supported Party Pieces for many years. It was a bit of a shock that they’ve gone, but now we have to bear the brunt and carry the can.”

They swindled a small toy-making business too: Another firm that supplied goods that were never paid for was Dr Zigs, a toy-making firm, that Paola Dyboski-Bryant started from her kitchen table in north Wales 12 years ago. The mother of three, 53, who employs five staff, said: “It’s completely unfair — obviously there’s money there to pay suppliers. We’re small. We’re dependent. If Party Pieces had chosen they could have helped a small brand like mine. Unpaid invoices make a huge difference to our cash flow, and what we can do. Maybe it’s a small invoice for them, but for us it matters.”

The bank loans: Party Pieces was sold using an insolvency process that allows firms to be sold without its debts, called a pre-pack administration. The documents filed with Companies House show it owed more than £612,000 to HM Revenue & Customs, which will be partially repaid by the firm’s assets, which totalled £196,939. It had £2.1 million of loans, on top of a £218,749 Covid loan with the Royal Bank of Scotland, four fifths of which will be covered by the taxpayer.

[From The Times]

The trail of destruction, my God. So many businesses were providing services or supplies on credit too – Party Pieces was months in arrears in many of these situations. That’s not all – the Mail had a story about how Party Pieces didn’t pay high-end baker Fiona Cairns and “sources” told the Mail that the outstanding £3,880 debt will be “extremely awkward and embarrassing” for the family, especially given that Cairns baked William and Kate’s wedding cake. Bitch, are you not embarrassed by the entire f–king scandal of it all? You mismanaged your company into the ground. You’ve hurt dozens of businesses and left the British taxpayer on the hook for hundreds of thousands of dollars. Are you not ashamed? Jesus.

Photos courtesy of Avalon Red.

We learned last week that Donald Trump is now under federal indictment for his many crimes in association with mishandling of classified documents and his large-scale theft of sensitive material after he left the White House. He violated the Espionage Act in like fifty different ways. Or rather 38 ways, since the indictment was unsealed on Friday, and Trump is looking at a 38-count indictment. Within the newly unsealed indictment, the Department of Justice also included visual aids of how they discovered some of Trump’s many stolen classified files – he had them packed up and he “stored” them in various Mar-a-Lago bathrooms. Did we know that MAL’s bathrooms have chandeliers? And cheap-looking shower curtains? And a sh-tload of documents about America’s nuclear weapons too.

Federal prosecutors laid out an evidence-packed case in an indictment unsealed on Friday that former President Donald J. Trump had put national security secrets at risk by mishandling classified documents he took from the White House and then schemed to block the government from reclaiming the material.

The 49-page, 38-count indictment said the documents held onto by Mr. Trump included some involving sensitive nuclear programs and others that detailed the country’s potential vulnerabilities to military attack. In some cases, prosecutors said, he displayed them to people without security clearances and stored them in a haphazard manner at Mar-a-Lago, even stacking a pile of boxes in a bathroom at his private club and residence in Florida.

The indictment included evidence vividly illustrating what prosecutors said was Mr. Trump’s willingness to hide the material from investigators.

In one of the most problematic pieces of evidence for the former president, the indictment recounted how at one point during the effort by the government to retrieve the documents, Mr. Trump, according to an account by one of his lawyers, made a “plucking motion” that implied, “Why don’t you take them with you to your hotel room, and if there’s anything really bad in there, like, you know, pluck it out.”

Jack Smith, the special counsel who is bringing the case for the Justice Department, cast the investigation during a brief statement in Washington as a defense of national security. He urged Americans read the indictment to understand the “scope and gravity” of the charges, which he said were necessary to preserve “bedrock” democratic principles.

“We have one set of laws in this country, and they apply to everyone,” he said. The investigation had been conducted with utmost integrity, he added, and, in an implicit nod to the election calendar — Mr. Trump remains the front-runner for the 2024 Republican presidential nomination — promised to seek a speedy trial.

[From The NY Times]

If you’d like to see the NYT’s annotated copy of the indictment, go here. I trust the online lawyers, all of whom have been laugh-crying all weekend about how Trump is absolutely going to prison for this sh-t. The federal case is very, very strong, let’s say it that way. It’s bigly strong. Jack Smith took his time and put together a bulletproof case and Trump will absolutely be prosecuted.

Page Six had a story about Trump’s public and private bluster when he learned about the indictment. He had diners cleared out of Mar-a-Lago, and he’s been screaming at his lawyers (more on that in a moment) and telling everyone around him that it’s a “political witch hunt” and “he’ll fight it all the way to the Supreme Court.” Sources also claim that he “seemed shaken” and “rattled” away from the cameras. As for his lawyers… two of them quit shortly after the indictment was unsealed. James Trusty and John Rowley walked away from Trump. It’s more than likely Trump was lying to them too.

Vox and other outlets are running stories about the Republican freakout over the indictment, but from where I sit, President Biden is playing this correctly. Biden has barely said anything on the record about Trump’s stolen files, and Biden (a longtime politician, who understands the office of the presidency) isn’t the one calling the shots at DOJ.

Photos courtesy of Avalon Red.