The Princess of Wales loves making “surprise appearances” these days. While the royal rota loves to make pie charts about William and Kate’s popularity, I do wonder if so many of these events and appearances are unannounced because W&K are worried that they’ll be booed, heckled or protested. The other reason, obviously, is security. In any case, Kate made a surprise appearance today at the Chelsea Flower Show. Her staff set it up so she could have a picnic with children. I hope she told them about the log “chair” she “designed.”

For this appearance, Kate repeated a ME+EM dress which she had previously worn for a photo-op with a sick kid in Scotland. Interestingly, her mother borrowed this dress and wore it out to Royal Ascot last year. It looked awful of Carole, but it looks fine on Kate. This is her style, honestly, and whatever… it was a flower show and her staff set up a photo-op with kids. Better a pink shirtdress than whatever she can copykeen from Meghan. OH GOD I just saw the wedges!!! I thought she burned those things! Ugh.

Kate looks like she’s aggressively questioning them about why they’re not wearing tights in some of these photos. In another photo, you can see the mask drop and she gives a Black child one of the meanest looks I’ve ever seen. Wow. I hope that young queen is having a great day, oh my god.

Photos courtesy of Avalon Red.

One of my favorite stories I wrote this month was that terrifically stupid post about the live-action Little Mermaid, and how there’s some “mockery” of the Princess of Wales, aka Kate. Ariel makes a disgusted expression when Prince Eric tries to guess that her name is “Catherine.” That’s it. That’s the whole “mockery.” The British media tried to make it sound like it was some kind of huge conspiracy involving the Duchess of Sussex’s many “Disney connections,” which is weird because I thought the British media believed that Harry and Meghan are deeply unpopular and powerless in LA? Regardless, it looks like The Little Mermaid isn’t the only affront to Keen Kate’s regal jazz hands. There’s also some kind of “crude and sexual jibe” about Kate in Amazon Prime’s Citadel. You know, the Prime series starring Meghan’s friend Priyanka Chopra.

A big budget thriller starring one of the Duchess of Sussex’s best friends makes a crude and sexual jibe about the Princess of Wales. Citadel, which is being screened on streaming giant Amazon Prime, stars Indian actress Priyanka Chopra Jonas who has repeatedly backed Meghan publicly. Ms Chopra Jonas, 41, plays the leading lady, an elite espionage agent Nadia Sinh in the five-part spy action series. And in the third episode, she is involved in a scene with a crime boss named Balduino Basto, portrayed by Sen Monro.

Richard Madden’s character Mason Kane goes to see Basto in Morocco under Nadia’s instructions and she is speaking to him in his ear. Basto is then asked for help to break into the armed forces chief’s office. It prompts him to say: ‘The chief of armed forces? You might as well have asked me how to get between the legs of the Duchess of Cambridge!’

Ms Chopra Jonas and the Duchess of Sussex, 41, became friends when they met at an Elle magazine event in 2016 and soon after the Duchess of Sussex interviewed for her blog The Tig, which is no longer in existence. They were also seen at the theatre together on New York’s Broadway where they were watching musical Hamilton shortly after.

In July 2021, Ms Chopra Jonas appeared to ‘ignore’ Kate and her husband, Prince William, as they were clapped into the Royal Box at Wimbledon. In a clip which emerged at the time, the Bollywood actress opted to fiddle with her scarf as the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge took their seats to rapturous applause from the crowd ahead of the Women’s Singles Final.

[From The Daily Mail]

*adjusts pie chart* Ah yes, remember when Priyanka made a point of ignoring Kate at Wimbledon, therefore Meghan clearly ordered Priyanka to order Prime to hire anti-Kate writers and look what happened! A very weird joke using a title Kate doesn’t even use anymore. The Mail also says that this happened in Citadel’s third episode… which apparently was released on May 5th. It took the Mail two weeks to watch the episode, is what I’m saying. While I like Priyanka, it’s not like people are watching or talking about Citadel, so she’s got bigger problems than this. And no, this wasn’t a conspiracy, although I bet Priyanka doesn’t give a crap about Kate in general. But Priyanka didn’t write the script! And I don’t even think Priyanka and Meghan are all that close, but whatever. This might be dumber than the Little Mermaid thing.

Photos courtesy of Avalon Red.

Since the Duke and Duchess of Sussex moved to America, they’ve traveled to New York several times for various awards ceremonies, United Nations speeches and charity appearances. Looking back on those previous visits to New York, I can see how their movements were tightly controlled, and how remarkable it was that we never did find out where they were staying. In all of those trips, there were never photos of the Sussexes entering or exiting a hotel or apartment building. There was a rumor going around for a while that they stayed in highly secure United Nations housing for visiting diplomats, which I half-way believe. I also believe that the NY paparazzi and NYC media are all really mad that they still don’t know exactly where the Sussexes stay when they’re in town, and that the pap chase was partly a power play and punishment. Speaking of, the media still doesn’t know where the Sussexes stayed. So they’re running with “the Sussexes were too cheap to pay for a hotel.”

Harry and Meghan’s “near-catastrophic car chase” happened because they were too cheap to pay for a hotel, sources have revealed. The entitled couple allegedly demanded the Carlyle — the late Princess Diana’s favorite hotel — give them a discounted room for their New York City visit this week.

According to law enforcement sources, bosses at the Carlyle refused the hefty discount, so the embattled pair instead stayed at a friend’s house on the Upper East Side.

But when the paparazzi began following them Tuesday night from the Ziegfeld theater — in what their spokesperson claimed was a “relentless pursuit, lasting over two hours” — the duo didn’t want to lead the photographers back to their friend’s home and reveal where they were staying.

A New York City law enforcement source told Page Six: “They should have just gotten a hotel for the safety of everyone. Instead, they were cheap and wanted a free place to stay.”

[From Page Six]

What’s up with NYPD sources openly disparaging the Sussexes? It’s definitely a weird vibe. Anyway, this is a common nonsensical talking point: that Harry and Meghan are insanely rich from “selling out” the Windsors yet simultaneously, they are always on the verge of being broke because they’re terribly unsuccessful. I don’t buy that the Sussexes asked for a huge discount to stay at a hotel because… they haven’t been staying at hotels during their multiple visits to New York. And because a hotel would be less secure, one would imagine (too many entrances and exits, too many people coming in and out, less control for their security people). Now, are they staying at a friend’s house? Maybe. Or maybe Page Six is still f–king mad because they still don’t know where the Sussexes are staying.

Photos courtesy of Backgrid.

You know what’s not a great look for the heir to the British throne? When the heir is obsessed with monitoring and commenting on every single storyline involving his younger brother. The same younger brother who fled the country, the same younger brother who was assaulted by the heir. It would be ridiculously easy for Prince William to stick with “no comment” publicly and privately. Failing that, it would be very easy for William to offer public or private support to Prince Harry, especially given that Harry just fell victim to the kind of chaotic pap chase which ended their mother’s life. Instead, William has chosen to allow his “friends” (meaning, Kensington Palace staffers) to brief the Daily Beast about how Harry is wrong to “complain” about the same kind of dangerous intrusions which had a hand in Diana’s death.

Friends of the British royal family have mocked Prince Harry and Meghan Markle’s account of a “near catastrophic” car chase in New York, after photographs, videos and other participants’ accounts gave a very different—and much less perilous—impression of the evening’s events, with one friend of Prince William quipping, “Recollections may vary.”

The friend added: “I thought they were leaving the royal family for a quieter life. If flashbulbs give Harry flashbacks, I don’t understand why he is going to award ceremonies.”

Asked if William, whose spokesperson has declined to comment on the incident, would at least take Harry’s side on the issue of invasive paparazzi, the friend said: “William and Catherine have put up with sh-t like this in the past. Everyone understands his anger at the photographers, but making hysterical statements doesn’t help matters, especially when, as the queen might have said, recollections may vary.”

A friend of King Charles, whose office has also said he won’t be making a formal comment, told The Daily Beast: “Charles will completely understand Harry being upset at being pursued by the paparazzi. He knows how scary it can be. But he has always tried to get Harry to understand that complaining about photographers or the media is pointless. It just makes it all worse.”

Many questions remain about the incident, but the most pertinent of all may be why Harry and Meghan decided to go public with their alleged ordeal. A London-based PR executive who has worked for the royals told The Daily Beast: “If I had to guess, I would say this is Harry going, ‘This is unacceptable, I’m going to say something,’ and no one having the balls to say, ‘Well, maybe not, sir, that would be really f–king stupid and it is going to totally overshadow everything your wife has been doing tonight, her big comeback.’ This is what happens when people do their own PR.”

[From The Daily Beast]

“This is what happens when people do their own PR” – Meghan literally signed with WME several weeks ago, but from my understanding, the Sussexes’ statement did come from their in-house Archewell team, and they’ve also authorized several people within their comms team and security team to speak to the media. Do I wish this was playing out differently in the media? For sure. But I’m not sure what a separate PR team would do differently, especially given the security situation.

As for the “friend of Prince William” – I guess we know that William is really mad that Meghan receives awards and that Harry supports and loves his beautiful wife. That’s so foreign to William, who often looks like he openly despises his wife. As for the rest of it… if William is so blasé about these kinds of intrusions, he should probably return the secret settlement he received from the Sun? He probably shouldn’t have freaked out so hard about Kate’s topless paparazzi photos too.

Photos courtesy of Avalon Red, Backgrid, Cover Images.

Natalie Portman and Julianne Moore went to Cannes to premiere their new Todd Haynes film, May December. It’s apparently good? I love Todd Haynes anyway, so I’ll see it. For the big premiere, Portman wore this spectacular and iconic gown from Christian Dior. As in, the original “Junon” gown was actually designed by Christian Dior. The real dress from 1949 is in Dior’s archives, so they made Portman a beautiful replica with very few edits. It’s gorgeous, and it’s perfect on her, honestly. She also wore a snazzy Dior mini at the photocall.

Jennifer Lawrence is also stuck with Dior, and I guess she still has a contract with them? In any case, she wore this red Dior which… is kind of boring and I wish she could get out of this Dior rut. Obviously, Dior is perfectly capable of doing amazing looks for some people, just not J-Law.

Alicia Vikander in Louis Vuitton, with her husband Michael Fassbender. She’s an LV ambassador and, much like J-Law’s Dior contract, I don’t think LV gives Alicia their best pieces. This is a snooze.

Gigi Hadid in Zac Posen. Some people love Posen’s designs, but I find them overwrought and overworked. This might have looked better in a different color?

Marion Cotillard in Chanel. LOL, this look went viral over the weekend because the people in charge of Chanel really put Marion out there in the South of France in Daisy Dukes and a cardi. Tragique!!

Photos courtesy of Cover Images, Avalon Red.

Introduction: Minutes 0 to 4:15
Hecate is leaving and we’re sad about that. I watched The Sandman but it was more of a hate watch. Chandra loves Succession but watching it stresses her out. She’s also watching tennis and is sad that Rafa Nadal is retiring. You can listen below!

Royals: The Car Chase: Minutes 4:15 to 15:45
This week Meghan and Harry went to the Ms. Magazine’s Women of Vision Awards, where Meghan was honored. She wore a phenomenal strapless gold textured Johanna Ortiz gown and she looked rich and unbothered. Harry and Meghan looked loved up and gorgeous. They also visited a youth center in Santa Barbara earlier this week for Mental Health Awareness Month.

All of that is lead up to this disturbing story that Harry and Meghan were chased by multiple blacked out SUVs and motorcycles allegedly containing paparazzi when they left the Ms. event. They were pursued for over two hours, from about 10pm to midnight. A paparazzo said that the Sussex’s vehicle was the one doing evasive maneuvers, but it’s clear the paparazzi were driving dangerously and putting pedestrians at risk. Here’s a link to the tweet I mentioned from the President of the NY Press Photographers Association. We wonder why the paparazzi were hounding Harry and Meghan, since there were already photos of them that night and there’s no market for photos of them in a car afterwards. The Page Six report said that there were 12 paparazzi at first. A witness at the scene as they left the venue said it was scary.

It’s upsetting how the press is trying to fact check and minimize what Harry and Meghan went through. A taxi driver who picked up Harry and Meghan at a police station and drove them around the block is being quoted as saying it wasn’t that bad, essentially. He was only with them for ten minutes. NYC Mayor Adams similarly tried to downplay it. The Sussexes’ spokesperson has said she’s never seen them that vulnerable and a member of their security team, a former secret service agent, has said he’d never seen anything like this and that it could have been fatal. Some commenters have suggested that the Sussexes waited to release a statement on the incident so that they could see who would publish the photos. They were briefly published online in The Express and the Mail.

No one from the royal family has reached out to the Sussexes or contacted them to see if they’re OK. The royal family has also refused to comment on this!

The Coronation: Minutes 15:45 to 24:30
The coronation was grim and weird. We were floored by some of the weird artifacts, like the bracelets of sincerity. Here’s a link to that clip and here’s a link to Chandra’s tweet about it. We wonder why Charles was so miserable when this was supposed to be his big day. Camilla was smug and was smirking and William didn’t memorize his lines. I tweeted a video of Charles bitching in the carriage about Will and Kate being late to the coronation. Here’s a link to videos of him getting his little robes pinned on. He also seemed mad at the pages carrying the train of his robe after the coronation.

Will and Kate looked tired and mad like they fought on the way over. Someone told Omid Scobie that it was their children’s fault they were late! That was their excuse to the press. After that they released a shaky behind-the-scenes fan cam video that was just terrible and hard to watch.

Kate wasn’t given a tiara to wear and so she wore a headpiece made by McQueen. She also wore Diana’s famous diamond-and-pearl earrings, but she wore them backwards. Here’s a link to the tweet where I compared Kate to a Disney villain.

The whole coronation was excessive and Charles didn’t even look happy. Plus there wasn’t much interest and no one was talking about it in a few days.

We also heard that Camilla was going to work less as Queen. We think Diana would be living her best life if she was still with us.

Comments of the Week: Minutes 24:30 to end
My comment of the week is from Lucy2 on Peridot’s post about Halle Bailey being so gracious about The Little Mermaid.

Chandra’s comment of the week is from Becks1 on the post about Kate looking overjoyed in an appearance the day after Harry and Meghan were hounded by paparazzi.

Thanks for listening bitches!

SPOILERS for last night’s Succession, “Church & State”

It’s beyond weird to watch the final seasons of Ted Lasso and Succession concurrently. While the two shows have next to no similarities, both shows are generally considered to be two of the best shows of the past decade, with sharp writing and great performances. Only Ted Lasso’s final season has been awash in crappy storylines and uneven plots and characterization. Meanwhile, Succession is coming for all of the Emmys this year.

Last night’s episode, “Church & State,” was the penultimate episode of the series. The final season of Succession has been a compacted timeline (within the story) of less than a month – Logan Roy died on a plane about a week before the presidential election, and Logan’s death was episode 3. On episode 9, they finally held his funeral, the day after the presidential election. While the whole season has been full of tour-de-force performances, the three central “Roy kids” (Shiv, Roman and Kendall) have had the most to do and they’re all worthy of Emmys. I have literally no idea how Emmy voters are going to choose between Kieran Culkin and Jeremy Strong for Best Actor, honestly.

Anyway, I didn’t want to do a full review, I just wanted to give people a chance to talk about how f–king brutal and amazing this episode was and how great it is that Jesse Armstrong knows how to land the plane. Ewan Roy – played brilliantly by James Cromwell – deserves everything too, and I loved the part with Marcia, Caroline and the two mistresses in the front row. Roman breaking down by the coffin, Shiv’s stupid eulogy… good stuff. Am I the only one blown away by the subtlety of Alex Skarsgard’s performance? Like, Alex is giving one of the best performances of his career, and you can tell he’s just delighted to be part of this show.

I have no idea what’s going to happen in the finale, but I’m rooting for “everyone gangs up against the Roys, the Swede gets Waystar Royco, and the kids end up completely estranged.” While I’m blown away by Kieran’s performance as Roman, let’s get one thing straight: Roman is not a good guy. He’s just not. None of them are. They are all terrible people and they all deserve what’s coming to them.

Closing the chapter.

A new episode of #Succession is streaming now on @HBOMax. pic.twitter.com/Gvyt58j9Eh

— Succession (@succession) May 22, 2023

And Just Like That… pic.twitter.com/3lHwr7Qi49

— Jackson McHenry (@McHenryJD) May 22, 2023

Photos courtesy of HBO/Succession.

Always trust the New York Times to “both sides” every situation. The Times spent five-plus years talking to neo-Nazis in small-town diners, giving their stories the kind of care, time and platform the paper rarely extends to, like, normal people who are appalled by Nazis. Speaking of, the Times published a piece called “Paparazzi Speak on Meghan and Harry’s Car Chase.” Instead of going to Ohio’s finest Nazi diner, the Times sent a journalist to a red carpet to interview paparazzi, several of whom refused to talk to the Times unless they were getting paid. The crux of the NYT’s story is that “paparazzi are looking for a payday by any means necessary” and “those same paps question the validity of the Sussexes’ story because it’s not like paparazzi would do anything for a payday.” I sh-t you not. Instead of accurately quoting the Sussexes’ security people, the Times wanted to make everything hazy and vaguely suspicious. Some highlights:

Tina Brown questions the Sussexes’ story: In a text message, Tina Brown, the author of two books on the royals, said the whole story “sounds mildly preposterous.”

Harry’s London case: [Photographer] Mr. Wong noted that earlier on Tuesday, a lawyer for Prince Harry had appeared in court in London, challenging a government decision not to allow him to pay for police protection during visits home. The timing, Mr. Wong said, was awfully convenient.

Why didn’t the Sussexes’ security pull into a garage? Even a person who had previously worked with the royals on their public relations strategy said it strained logic that the couple’s driver had not simply pulled into a garage at one of the many hotels celebrities frequently use to ward off pursuing photographers.

The Sussexes’ spokesperson responded to the Times: In an interview with The Times on Friday, the representative for the couple, Ashley Hansen, said: “Respectfully, considering the duke’s family history, one would have to think nothing of the couple or anybody associated with them to believe this was any sort of P.R. stunt. Quite frankly, I think that’s abhorrent.”

The paparazzi lied to the Times: Moreover, claims by photographers that no one outside got shots of the couple leaving the event turned out to be false. “They were some of the most beautiful images of the evening,” Ms. Hansen said, who minutes later produced a few of them by text message.

[From The NY Times]

“A lawyer for Prince Harry had appeared in court in London, challenging a government decision not to allow him to pay for police protection during visits home. The timing, Mr. Wong said, was awfully convenient.” That’s… some convoluted logic. Harry’s legal action against the Home Office (and the Daily Mail, for misreporting the issue) has been going on for nearly two years. At the hearing last week, the Met Police argued (simultaneously) that Harry isn’t important enough to warrant police protection AND he’s such a high-value target that no police officer should have to risk their lives to protect him. For real. The paps are arguing that Harry set up this incident to “prove” that he deserves… to pay for his police security? That’s really what they’re arguing.

As for the larger gaslighting campaign… I’m starting to get the feeling that whatever was planned for last Tuesday went sideways and the chaos we’ve seen in the American and British media is some extremely messy cover-up. It’s like they’re disappointed that the Sussexes and their security actually foiled what they had planned? “Why didn’t you pull into a garage?” Why, so the Sussexes would be isolated and trapped underground? “Why didn’t you go in the front entrance, why didn’t you do this, why didn’t you do that?” It’s like the operation fell apart when the Sussexes didn’t do what was predicted and planned for.

Photos courtesy of Backgrid.

I adore Elle Fanning and I’m strangely proud of her for the woman she’s become. I remember her when she was just a tiny slip of a girl, a child actor who seemed too delicate to survive. She not only survived, she’s thrived and done so without courting controversy, without going through any wild-child phases. She seems like a throwback to a different era, which is probably why she’s so good in period pieces. Elle covers the latest issue of Harper’s Bazaar UK to promote the latest season of The Great, where she plays the young Catherine the Great. She talks a lot about the show, and she also confirms that she and Max Minghella are over. I forgot that they were even together! Some highlights:

Her “college” experience was work: “I’ve been busy working out all those ‘adult’ things. How to live on my own, who I am.”

She was told she didn’t need to do historical research on ‘The Great’: “When I was first cast, Tony told me there was really no need to do any research, because the story is not tied to historic fact. But I did do some, because before I stepped into her shoes, the only thing I knew about Catherine the Great was the rumour she’d had sex with a horse – which actually feels like one of the earliest forms of slut-shaming. So, partly, I wanted to reclaim her name a bit – to bring to the fore how progressive she was in championing science and female education, being an engine behind the Russian Enlightenment, separating church and state.”

But was Catherine a badass? “I still hear, ‘Catherine the Great? What a badass!’ But… I don’t know how accurate that is. She takes risks, but she has to work herself up to it. She’s powerful, but not always the most powerful person in the room. She can be both scheming and naive. She’s a girl and a woman. I’ve been playing Catherine in such formative years of my life. I’ve grown as a woman alongside her.”

She’s gained confidence on the job: “These days, I feel like my voice matters. For a while, I’d be like, ‘Oh well, I’m young, people don’t necessarily want to listen to me, they probably know more anyway.’ But there comes a point when you register that you’ve been doing this for 20 years. I may not always have the answer, but I’ve realised that sometimes you do have to have a little bit of that Catherine ego and say, ‘Listen to me!’”

Depicting pregnancy on ‘The Great’: “I was obsessed with it. I had a bespoke bump with boobs moulded onto me that went all the way up to my neck. The costume team told me that this is pretty accurately what my body will look like when I’m pregnant… which did feel quite crazy. I loved the way it looked. It made me want to do it, to be pregnant.”

She’s an “old soul”. “I’m very nostalgic, I don’t feel like I necessarily belong in today.. I am comfortable in antique stores, and in London, because it has so much history.” Indeed, a psychic she spoke to once told Fanning that she was from the past, while her sister Dakota was “an alien from the future”. “It makes sense,” she adds, laughing.

What her future looks like: “I’d love to play Grace Kelly in something. And to have kids.” She is currently single, having recently come out of a long-term relationship with the actor Max Minghella. “But I’m a hopeless romantic. I believe in love at first sight. Call me crazy, but I believe in those things. I feel that it’s my destiny.”

[From Harper’s Bazaar]

I’m someone who believes in past lives and I think reincarnation explains why some people – like Elle – seem like they’re from a different era. Like, she really loved her previous life, she loves the clothes and the vibe of whatever era she was in, and she carried that with her into the next life. I do wonder if her romanticism and vintage-aesthetic will lead her down some bad paths in her life, but maybe she’ll be just fine. She seems to have a good head on her shoulders.

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Photos courtesy of Avalon Red, cover & IG courtesy of Harper’s Bazaar UK.

And Just Like That, Carrie Bradshaw shall rise again on June 22. [Go Fug Yourself]
Cate Blanchett wore Louis Vuitton to a Cannes photocall. [RCFA]
Alec Baldwin was cast in a movie about the Kent State shooting. [Dlisted]
A second trailer for Mission Impossible 7: Dead Reckoning Part 1. [LaineyGossip]
Halle Bailey probably was named after Halle Berry. [Seriously OMG]
A rave review of AppleTV’s Silo. [Pajiba]
Monocular Salman Rushdie made his first public appearance this week since he was stabbed on stage nine months ago. [Just Jared]
Pete Buttigieg defines ‘masc gay’ for people. [Jezebel]
Kate Bosworth has a swimsuit collab. [Egotastic]
I love these “glitch in the matrix” Reddit stories but I can only read a few before I get really freaked out. I only made it to the fourth story here! [Buzzfeed]
More about Love After Lockup inmate Lil Mike Collier. [Starcasm]
Montana banning TikTok… will not work. [Towleroad]