As we’ve discussed endlessly, the British commentary class lives in their own bubble where their lies and palace-issued talking points are their alternate reality. They want to believe that the Duke and Duchess of Sussex are splitting up, that Harry and Meghan are almost broke and that the Sussexes are desperate to come crawling back to them. Instead of facing the reality – the Sussexes are fine, rich and happy in America – the commentators continue to push their multiverse version in the British media. That’s the only explanation for this mess from the Daily Mail’s Ephraim Hardcastle, one of the Mail’s columnists: “Will William shirk at welcoming Harry back to the royal fold?”

William, as Prince of Wales in receipt of £24million a year from the Duchy of Cornwall, enjoys a surplus which will diminish as he eventually bankrolls the households of his children.

But it would quickly disappear should Harry and Meghan return to the gilded cage. Willliam would have to fund their duties, housing costs and schooling of Archie and Lilibet.

According to Harry, that prospect was all too much for King Charles. He claimed in Spare that his dad baulked at the prospect of him marrying Meghan and warned he didn’t have ‘enough money’ to support them both.

Might William equally shirk at welcoming Harry back into the royal fold?

[From The Daily Mail]

Not only is this a deeply disturbing fantasy of what these people would like to happen – the Sussexes begging Peg for money and Peg turning them down – it’s also completely false when it comes to how royals are financed. If Harry returned to the UK – he’s not, but stay with me for this hypothetical – then Harry and his family would be funded by the monarch, not the Prince of Wales. When Charles was PoW, he wasn’t “funding” his siblings – the money for Anne, Andrew and Edward’s offices and upkeep came from the Sovereign Grant and the Duchy of Lancaster, both purviews of the monarch. It would be the same now that Charles is king – he would be responsible for funding his younger son’s office and lifestyle. Either way, I’m glad Harry and Meghan saw the writing on the wall and got the f–k out of there.

Photos courtesy of Avalon Red, Cover Images.

It is still so funny to me that Kristen Bell and Dax Shepard make this big deal about “protecting their children from being photographed,” yet they are constantly telling their kids’ business to everyone. While I have no idea what Delta and Lincoln Shepard look like, I already know way too much about them, including how infrequently they bathe, and how they don’t shower until they “stink.” Well, for years, Kristen has been telling everyone that her kids drink non-alcoholic beers. She told the story again this week while appearing on The Kelly Clarkson Show, and Kristen added a new twist. Her daughters (aged 8 and 9 years old) actually order non-alcoholic beer in restaurants now.

Kristen Bell’s kids have very mature taste. While appearing on an episode of The Kelly Clarkson Show, the Good Place actress, 43, chatted with host Kelly Clarkson, 41, about letting her two daughters — Delta, 8, and Lincoln, 9 — drink non-alcoholic beers.

Although she admitted that it “sounds insane,” Bell said that “context is important,” since her 48-year-old husband Dax Shepard is a recovering addict.

“He’s a recovering addict,” Bell said of Shepard, “but he likes non-alcoholic beer, so he’d pop one open, he’d have [our oldest daughter] on his chest, and we’d walk and look at the sunset,” she told Clarkson. “As a baby, she was pawing at it, and sometimes she’d suck the rim of it. So I think it feels to her like something special, something daddy, something family.”

Bell went on to say that the drinks contain zero percent alcohol and that since establishing this routine, her kids have asked for non-alcoholic beer at restaurants.

“We’ve been at restaurants where she’s said, ‘Do you have any non-alcoholic beer?’ And I’m like, maybe we just keep that for home time,” said the actress.

“But then I’m sort of like, you can judge me if you want, I’m not doing anything wrong,” added Bell. “That’s your problem.”

[From People]

Kids that age just want to feel like grownups and they copy their parents’ behavior too. I loved ordering Shirley Temples when I was a kid because it felt like I was ordering a cocktail, like I was a grownup. I’ve seen teenagers order virgin pina coladas too, because it feels like a thrill, like they’re doing something naughty. Technically, Kristen is right – it’s not like she’s doing anything wrong. I mean, except for telling her daughters’ business to everyone. She and Dax should introduce their kids to Shirley Temples.

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Photos courtesy of Avalon Red.

Tori Kelly has been hospitalized with blood clots. [JustJared]
Selena Gomez is hitting her stride professionally across the board. [LaineyGossip]
Review of Christopher Nolan’s Oppenheimer. [Pajiba]
Jamie Dornan went back to his model roots for Loewe. [Tom & Lorenzo]
Honey Boo Boo is going to college? [Starcasm]
Ohio Republican doesn’t think his violent assault on his wife & brother-in-law is criminal, merely an unfortunate private matter. [Jezebel]
A look at some of the Women’s World Cup kits. [GFY]
Damson Idris wore Prada to a British Vogue party. [RCFA]
A boyfriend wants to put his girlfriend on a “payment plan” so she can pay him back for all of the money he’s spent on her. Girl, RUN. [Buzzfeed]
American Evangelicals are fueling the homophobic agenda in Europe. [Towleroad]

Even though the Princess of Wales has been part of the Firm for over twelve years, there really aren’t that many portraits of her. Sure, there were those photos she arranged for her 40th birthday. There was also a painting of Kate and William completely last year, I think? But beyond that, the only major solo portrait done of Kate was in 2013, and it was so bad that even pro-Waity people hated it. The painting was done by Paul Emsley and Emsley took one look at that wiglet and decided to paint Kate as a Victorian ghost, haunting all of Britain. Well, it took ten years, but Kate finally got that portrait shuffled away and out of sight. Per Eden Confidential:

When the first official royal portrait of the Princess of Wales was unveiled to the public a decade ago, Catherine was typically polite, describing Paul Emsley’s efforts as ‘brilliant, absolutely amazing’. The critics were less kind, however, condemning it as ‘ghastly…rotten… an out-and-out disaster’ in one case. Another remarked, acidly: ‘It’s only saving grace is that it’s not by Rolf Harris.’

Now, I can disclose that the work has been consigned to a store room at the National Portrait Gallery, even though it’s the London institution’s only solo painting of our future queen. It can be viewed ‘by prior appointment in our archive’.

Catherine is Royal Patron of the gallery in Trafalgar Square and rumours swirl that she may be secretly pleased the work is no longer on public view.

‘It’s unthinkable that the painting of Her Royal Highness would be removed from public view without consulting her,’ a source tells me. ‘That would be very discourteous. She is our greatly valued patron.’

The oil painting was given a prominent spot from its unveiling in 2013 until 2018. It was then lent for a touring exhibition around the world until the gallery closed for £35million of refurbishment work in 2020.

When the gallery was reopened last month by the Princess amid great fanfare, only two works featuring her image were left on display: a painting, by Jamie Coreth, of her side by side with her husband, Prince William, and a photograph by Paolo Roversi, an Italian fashion snapper, taken to mark her 40th birthday in 2022.

Emsley’s ‘dead-eyed’ painting, which sparked global controversy for making the Princess look older than her years, was not the only prominent royal portrait to disappear when the gallery reopened. Nicky Philipps’s 2010 painting of Princes William and Harry in their Household Cavalry mess uniform was removed from public display.

[From The Daily Mail]

I honestly haven’t looked at the painting in years, but I do remember the controversy at the time. The painting was never popular – people who had neutral or negative feelings about Kate found the painting creepy, and people who loved Kate thought the painting made her look old and pre-cosmetic surgery. I find it more interesting to think that perhaps Kate didn’t even have anything to do with the portrait being shuffled away. What if this is a larger message that, um, Kate is about to shuffled off somewhere too? There’s something in the air. I still say it’s notable that there are so few official portraits of Kate as well, especially now that she’s Princess of Wales.

Photos courtesy of Cover Images.

Are you guys good neighbors? I’m not. Well, I’m not a bad neighbor, per se, but I only regularly speak to one of my neighbors, an elderly widow. We chat all the time and she’s got tons of neighborhood tea. I have spoken to another neighbor a few times and we’re on “waving at a distance” friendliness now, but I’ve truly never spoken to the family who lives on one side of my house, nor have I ever spoken to anyone else in the neighborhood. I mind my business and expect other people to do the same! And I don’t even live in some fancy gated community with eight-figure homes, like Prince Harry and Meghan. The Sussexes live in their lovely, 8392-bathroomed Montecito mansion, where they maintain tight security. I would imagine they aren’t stopping by their neighbors’ mansions unannounced, nor would they appreciate it if one of their neighbors stopped by without calling. That’s exactly what happened in 2020, apparently – one of their neighbors stopped by and security stopped him and asked him to go. Now the dude is getting his fifteen minutes.

Prince Harry and Meghan Markle’s security guards have been accused of rudely brushing off an elderly neighbor after moving into their mansion in Montecito, Calif., in 2020. Frank McGinity, an 88-year-old US Navy veteran, who lives close by the Duke and Duchess of Sussex claimed that he approached their home soon after they moved in to gift them some films he has made about the history of the area. He recalled the alleged exchange in a chapter of his memoir, “Get Off Your Street.”

“I have a big house next to Harry and Meghan’s property and I live in the guest house while renting the main house out on Airbnb,” he said, according to the Montecito Journal via the Independent.

“Harry and Meghan live on old McCormick property and I went up to their gate with the films on a CD, but they weren’t interested,” he claimed, adding that the couple’s security guard turned him away. “The gate guy turned me away and wouldn’t take the film, just saying ‘they’re not interested.’ I was trying to be neighborly. We don’t see them very much around here. It’s surprising they came here. People are typically older. It’s where the elephants come to die.”

McGinity said he lives a “tiara’s toss or two” from the Sussexes’ property.

The California-based royals moved into the property in July 2020 with their son, Prince Archie, 4. The couple welcomed a daughter, Princess Lilibet, two years later. Page Six exclusively reported that they paid $14,650,000 for the 18,000-square-foot home, which features rose gardens, century-old olive trees, a tennis court, a tea house, children’s cottage and a pool. It also has a two-bedroom guest cottage.

[From Page Six]

I mean… considering what we know about the security threats against Harry and Meghan, as well as what we know about the operations of the British media, I would think that their security would turn away every single person who got close to their property. This is one of the ritziest neighborhoods in America – it’s not the kind of community where neighbors “drop by” unannounced, especially complete f–king strangers. Considering this guy wrote about it, I can only imagine what he stories he would have sold about the Sussexes if they had let him in.

PS… I love all the details about their home. They really invested in a great property. What’s also great about the Sussexes’ Montecito Mansion is how their smart real estate investment has made Salt Island seethe for three full years. I still believe that William and Kate’s real estate hysteria is mostly about the fact that the Sussexes’ house is so nice and “grand.”

Photos courtesy of Backgrid.

If you’re over a certain age, this whole gossip miscommunication went over your head, but the younger people found it confusing. Earlier this year, Ariana Grande dumped her husband, Dalton Gomez, a real estate broker or something. We learned last week that Ariana is now seeing her married costar Ethan Slater. They met while filming Wicked in England. Slater is best known as a Broadway actor, and in 2018, he was nominated for a Tony Award for playing the title role in the SpongeBob SquarePants musical on Broadway. Slater is not the same actor who voices SpongeBob on the cartoon. That actor’s name is Tom Kenny, and Kenny’s wife wants everyone to know that Ariana Grande did not steal her man. Speaking of:

Ethan Slater’s estranged wife Lilly Jay is “devastated” by the news that he and his Wicked co-star Ariana Grande are dating.

A source close to Jay tells ET she’s “devastated” by the breakup with her husband and that “this is not the future she had in mind.” The source adds, “She’s doing her best to get back on her feet. She’s incredibly smart and driven” and “she is truly the best mother.”

Slater married Jay, his former high school classmate, in 2018. The couple welcomed their first child, a son, last year. In November 2022, Slater shared an anniversary tribute to his wife on Instagram, writing, “My best friend. 4 years married, 10 years together. And this is easily the best (and most *bizarre*) year yet.” Grande liked the post.

On Monday, a source confirmed to ET that Grande and Dalton Gomez had separated after two years of marriage, noting that the pair — who tied the knot in May 2021, five months after announcing their engagement — “ultimately were just not a good fit.” Then, just three days later, a source confirmed to ET that Grande and Slater are dating.

“Ariana and Ethan recently started dating. They have a lot in common and have a lot of fun,” the source said. “They didn’t start dating until both were broken up with their significant others. Ariana and Dalton remain friends.”

[From ET]

Just my opinion, but there are only so many times a celebrity woman can pull this Miranda Lambert bullsh-t before it comes back to bite her on the ass. Miranda used to bang married men all the time until it reached public consciousness, that she was a habitual husband-stealer and trainwreck. Then suddenly, Miranda settled down with that cop (now retired) who also had a long-term partner and a baby. It was a damage-control elopement, and she’s made a point of not carrying on openly with married men ever since. It feels like Ariana’s reputation is heading in the same direction – this was internationally messy and it also feels like Lilly Jay will not be going away quietly (nor should she).

Photos courtesy of Avalon Red, Cover Images, Instagram.

Years ago, Prince William, Prince Harry and Kate did Heads Together, which was supposed to be some kind of big bureaucracy to manage all of their mental-health related work. I always sort of shrugged off the simplistic message of “talk to someone, therapy can help you.” But more and more, I really do feel like everyone in the UK needs a massive amount of therapy. Byline Times released Part 3 of their on-going Dan Wootton exposé, and this piece is all about Wootton’s “first victim,” the first guy he ever blackmailed under the alias Martin Branning. I am truly struggling to unpack the layers of creepiness, abuse, obsession and sexual pathology happening with Wootton. I don’t really want to “unpack” it honestly, because all of it is a huge YIKES. You can read the full piece here.

I’m not going to excerpt it the Byline article because it’s complicated and honestly, it’s really disgusting. Basically, in 2008, Wootton-as-Martin Branning cold-contacted the partner of one of Wootton’s colleagues. Wootton offered the guy money to film himself having sex with random people. Wootton controlled almost everything about these recordings and did so entirely online or through texts or third-parties. This guy probably made dozens of tapes, and he was paid in “sweaty wads of twenties” via courier. Wootton then used all of these tapes to blackmail the guy and his partner (who was Wootton’s coworker). The guy who did the videos tells Byline: “The fall-out from this went on for years. I literally quit my London life; I lost everything. I went into the depths of depression. I definitely considered suicide. I didn’t want to be around any more. I blamed myself for the whole situation. I am only coming to terms with it now. Now I want to get it sorted out.”

So… yeah, what is the pathology here? Wootton was getting off on all or some of this – it wasn’t just a money thing or blackmail thing, nor was it merely about power. And consider this as well – Wootton had much more conventional ways of accumulating and maintaining power within the British media. He didn’t *need* to catfish and blackmail his coworkers and their partners for years. He did it because he enjoyed doing it, because he was getting off on it.

How ‘Martin Branning’ blackmailed a man into making a covert sex video later found hidden behind the washing machine of GB News star Dan Wootton.

‘Branning’ threatened to send compromising material to their family and friends if they refused to cooperate.https://t.co/F4wtnHzZcW

— Adam Bienkov (@AdamBienkov) July 24, 2023

Photos courtesy of Avalon Red, GB News.

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I did not have Gosselin family drama on my Summer 2023 bingo card, but here we are. To recap, 19-year-old Collin Gosselin (one of the sextuplets) spoke to Entertainment Tonight last fall about being sent to an institution at age 12. In an episode of the FX documentary Dark Side of the 2000s, he spoke about his mom Kate’s abuse, which his sister Hannah confirmed. After it aired, his older sister Mady got involved to defend Kate and accuse Collin of abuse and racism, which is pretty typical in toxic families. Jon responded by pointing out that Mady has not seen Collin since he was in sixth grade. Naturally, Kate reacted by going full DARVO, smearing her own son by accusing him of “violent behavior” and blaming his recollection on “mental illness.” It was pretty disgusting.

Now, Jon is speaking out in support of his son, calling out the Patron Saint of Karens’ “cruel false accusations” and pointing out that Collin had to be cleared mentally, physically, and medically by the government before joining the Marines.

Hours after Kate Gosselin broke her silence following son Collin‘s claims that she had him institutionalized to conceal her alleged abuse, her ex-husband, Jon Gosselin, has spoken out.

“Kate posting cruel false accusations regarding Collin seems to be just another way for her to justify her inexcusable horrific past behavior toward him,” a rep for Jon, 46, told The U.S. Sun on Friday, July 21. “True love for a child wouldn’t include a mother attacking their son to the public. … Do not forget that a judge awarded sole legal and physical custody of Collin to his father.”

Jon — who received custody of Collin and Hannah, both now 19, in 2018 after they moved into his home — further noted that Collin needed to be “cleared by the Marines with a full background check including mental, physical, and medical clearance” before enlisting in the armed forces. The statement concluded, “The government’s full diagnoses clearly reflects the truth.”

[From Us Weekly]

Good on Jon for calling Kate’s (ridiculously long) statement what it was: cruel. She’s a narcissist who loves attention and always needs to have the last word, so I’m sure we’ll get some sort of public response to Jon’s statement. I just wonder if it will come from Kate herself or if she’ll send one of her other children out to do her dirty work. It also speaks volumes that after all of this has come out, her response was to publicly attack her son rather than reach out to him privately to clear the air and try to fix their relationship.

I feel so terrible for Collin, but am glad he has Jon and Hannah’s support. I’m also so impressed with how brave he was to speak out, especially considering he had to have known that his mom would react like this. He speaks more eloquently than most people twice his age, myself included. I hope all of this drama dies down quickly for his sake, and that now that the truth is out there, he’s able to move forward and live his best life.

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Back in June, Joe Nahmad and Madison Headrick got married in Sardinia. The wedding reportedly cost close to $13 million, and there were many A-listers there, including Leo DiCaprio, Tom Brady, David Grutman, Serena Williams, Venus Williams and several models, including Irina Shayk. I only heard/read about the wedding because Page Six got a tip that Irina was practically stalking Tom Brady throughout the weekend and she was “throwing herself at him.” Her people made a point of denying that. Well, six weeks later, guess what? Tom Brady and Irina Shayk are happening. They are, how you say, bumping uglies.
There’s a HUGE rollout in TMZ, People Magazine, Page Six and more.

The new summer romance between Tom Brady and Irina Shayk has been brewing for “a few weeks,” a source tells PEOPLE. Shayk, 37, and Brady, 45, “have been in touch for a few weeks,” according to the insider, who says “there is a spark” between the model and retired NFL star.

The source says Brady invited Shayk to “fly out and meet up in Los Angeles,” where the two were spotted cozying up during a romantic weekend. “They spent the night Friday and Saturday at a house” where Brady is staying, the source explains.

“There is an attraction,” according to the source, who adds that Brady and Shayk “have never been involved romantically before” the summer fling began. Another source tells PEOPLE that the two first started talking when they were guests at billionaire art heir Joe Nahmad’s wedding to model Madison Headrick in Sardinia, Italy back in June.

Brady was spotted by paparazzi this weekend cozying up with Shayk in his car after they spent the night together, Page Six and others reported.

The father of three, who has also been linked to Kim Kardashian since his divorce from ex-wife Gisele Bündchen nine months ago, was photographed picking up Shayk at the Hotel Bel-Air on Friday afternoon before the pair returned to the house for the night. At one traffic stop, Brady was snapped caressing Shayk’s face as the two talked in the front seat of his black Rolls Royce. Shayk was spotted leaving the next morning, before Brady later picked up the Russian model again on Saturday afternoon, Page Six reports.

[From People]

You can see some of the photos of Tom and Irina’s California weekend here at TMZ. TMZ also reports that Tom and Irina did meet at Joe Nahmad’s wedding last month, and “A number of models were hitting on Tom, and Irina was one of them,” although her rep denies it. LMAO. Irina really doesn’t want to give the impression that she zoned in on Single Tom, targeted him and proceeded to throw herself at him. Hey, it worked! Overall, I’m sort of impressed by how matter-of-fact this is? While Irina and Tom were aiming for a discreet meet-up, they also weren’t jumping into bushes or hiding anything. They’re both single and ready to mingle – it’s not scandalous in the least.

Meanwhile, sources tell TMZ AND Page Six that Gisele Bundchen “is not happy at all” about Tom and Irina’s new romance. One source did tell Page Six that Tom & Irina’s new thing is “helpful to [Bündchen’s] freedom.” I don’t get any of this alleged Gisele angst? Gisele left Tom, Gisele wanted out, Gisele was completely above-board about everything and she explained every part of how she felt in multiple interviews. I get that “model catfights” sell, but please, give Gisele some credit. I doubt she’s worked up over this.

Photos courtesy of Avalon Red, Instagram.

Valentine Low’s Courtiers is coming out in paperback, which is why the Times ran an exclusive several weeks ago with excerpts from some new chapters. Low’s sources insist that the now-Princess of Wales was particularly upset after the Duke and Duchess of Sussex’s 2021 Oprah interview. Low claims that Kate insisted that QEII’s statement post-interview include the phrase “recollections may vary.” Kate insisted on that because Kate had spent the better part of three years telling everyone in the family and everyone in the media that Meghan had made her cry, when really, Wedding Karen Kate had made Meghan cry. Well, Low is still shilling this book and he’s trying to promote it by saying that Kate is “steely” and yet she might also be very bland and an instigator. Of course, Low can’t come right out and say that, so here you go:

Kate Middleton is one tough cookie. Royal expert Valentine Low exclusively told Page Six in a recent interview that the royal, 41, is “tougher” than she lets on.

“Interestingly, behind the scenes, she’s a lot more steely, a lot tougher than we give her credit,” he said. “She’s this nice-looking woman, dresses nicely, smiles nicely, adopts sort of fairly uncontroversial charities. You know, they think she’s slightly bland.”

Low said one example of the Princess of Wales’ steeliness occurred after Prince Harry and Meghan Markle’s bombshell interview with Oprah Winfrey, which aired in March 2021.

The Palace waited until the interview aired in the UK to issue a response and Low says in a new chapter for the paperback edition of his book “Courtiers,” that there the royal family split on how to respond.

“The whole family is saddened to learn the full extent of how challenging the last few years have been for Harry and Meghan. The issues raised, particularly that of race, are concerning,” the statement from Queen Elizabeth II read at the time. “While some recollections may vary, they are taken very seriously and will be addressed by the family privately.”

Low said that Jean-Christophe Gray, Prince William’s newly appointed private secretary, came up with the memorable line, “recollections may vary” in the statement, implying that the Palace disagreed about what had happened.

“There were some people in other [royal] households, who felt it would antagonize Harry and Meghan and would go down badly and just keep the whole unpleasantness going,” Low explained. “But it was Kate who really strongly made the argument,” he noted, adding that the mom of three wanted that line to stay in the statement so that Markle and Harry’s version of events wouldn’t be accepted as truth.

Low told us that Middleton is acutely aware that “she’s one day going to be Queen” and “thinks very carefully about the long-term security and strength and stability of the royal family as an institution.” He added, “She’s good. She has a good eye on the big picture, the long game.”

[From Page Six]

“They think she’s slightly bland.” I swear, Kate really is that bland. You can argue that she’s aiming for “uncontroversial” – and I think that’s true – but mostly, she really is that bland, that uninspired, that intellectually lazy. Of course Kate didn’t want the Sussexes’ version of events to be “accepted” – because even though Meghan took pains to go gently on Kate in particular, Kate came across like a huge a–hole. Even moreso in Prince Harry’s memoir. Kate was probably thrilled at the idea that “recollections may vary” would antagonize the Sussexes, because that seems to be her thing too.

Honestly though, one of the most surprising aspects of Low’s new chapters and these talking points about who came up with what line in the statement is that we’re definitely left with the impression, over and over again, that these people were issuing all kinds of statements in Queen Elizabeth II’s name and QEII had very little say in any of it. But tell me again that QEII “wanted” Camilla to be called “queen.”

Photos courtesy of Avalon Red, Instar.