The Prince and Princess of Wales were late by what seemed like a couple of minutes? King Charles and Queen Camilla’s journey to Westminster Abbey was precisely timed, but William and Kate are (it seems) much too lazy to care about turning up to a coronation on time. Someone said that William and Kate’s arrival energy was “just fought in the car on the way over.” It’s true. William and Kate arrived with Princess Charlotte and Prince Louis, but George was traveling with his grandfather, because George was a page. From what I could see, George’s behavior was fine. Prince Louis was the one who had to be spirited away mid-coronation, probably because he kept yawning, pulling faces and trying to talk to his sister.

We were curious to see what Kate would wear and here it is. The white gown is McQueen, although we don’t see much of it because of her cape. She wore the diamond-and-pearl earrings famously worn by Princess Diana, although Kate prefers to wear them backwards. The biggest question was about what kind of tiara or headpiece she would wear, and this was the work-around: a Jess Collett x Alexander McQueen headpiece made from “silver bullion, crystal and silver thread work three-dimensional leaf embroidery.” Someone suggested that this was the “green” choice – it is not. The environmental choice (weirdly enough) would have been recycling one of the old tiaras in the vault. But I don’t think Kate had much choice, she wasn’t getting one of those tiaras. Charlotte also wore McQueen, and she got a similar little headpiece. That part of it – with Kate & Charlotte wearing similar headpieces – was a cute compromise.

The weirdest part was when William made his pledge to King Charles and William was too lazy to memorize the oath, so he just read it out, barely making eye contact with his father.

Photos courtesy of Avalon Red, Cover Images.

Here are some photos of Good King Prince Harry at today’s coronation. He arrived in England yesterday, but the Mail got it wrong (shock!) in their initial reporting that he arrived via a private jet. He actually flew in via an American Airlines commercial flight. Last minute-reporting had sources suggest that an invitation had been extended to Harry, that he could stay for the coronation lunch or dinner or whatever, but that’s coming from the palace, not Harry’s camp.

In any case, Harry looked lovely at the coronation at Westminster Abbey. As he did for his grandmother’s funeral, Harry wore a morning suit with all of his medals. He came into the Abbey at the same time as his York cousins, Princess Beatrice and Princess Eugenie, and their husbands. Edo and Harry seemed especially chummy, and Harry was seated next to Jack Brooksbank in the third row. The cameras caught Harry looking smiley and happy whenever he was in a shot. He had an especially big smile for his aunt, Princess Anne.

I already see some of the negative headlines, especially in the British media, about how Harry is “devastated” over this snub or that snub. As always, it’s a case of projection – they’re mad that he’s not sticking around, they’re mad that he’s left them, they’re mad that he doesn’t have to do their bidding or the king’s bidding anymore. Harry said he would come to his father’s coronation and that’s what he did. He showed up, showed respect to his dad, and hopefully he’s already getting the f–k out of there.

All smiles and unbothered by the noise looking fresh, happy, smiling and heading home ASAP to be with his son on his birthday. You go Prince Harry!! pic.twitter.com/jUa9dUXRT0

— Turkey1976 (@gayleLackey11) May 6, 2023

Prince Harry is wearing an Afghanistan service medal, along with Golden, Diamond and Platinum Jubilee medals on his medal bar.

The Duke of Sussex is also wearing the KCVO Star decoration around his neck. (He recently wore these medals for Queen Elizabeth’s funeral). https://t.co/x8tUuQcxrY

— Carly Ledbetter (@ledbettercarly) May 6, 2023

Photos courtesy of Avalon Red, Cover Images.

It is here, the doom-and-gloom coronation, the moment King Charles has been waiting for. His special day, a day of pomp, gold carriages, stolen diamonds, a stone of destiny (also stolen), at least one orb, and vegan anointment juice. This is an Open Post for all things Chubbly. We’ll have coverage throughout the weekend, as I am genuinely curious to see what people are wearing and just how chaotic this will be.

I genuinely believe this excessive coronation was a bad idea for King Charles, especially since he and his current wife tend to wilt when they’re under the bright, hot spotlight. There are many people who have dealt with the idea of “Queen Camilla” as an abstraction, and when the reality hits those people, as they see Camilla formally “beclowned” alongside Charles, they’ll be thinking of Diana and what all of these monsters did to her and her younger son.

Several days ago, British journalist and editor Ash Sarkar noted:

“When it comes to this generation in particular, young people are interested in the values of fairness and in the values of representation. Whatever way you slice it, the monarchy is neither a fair nor a representative institution….There have been attempts by the royal family to strip themselves of some of the mystery, invite the media in and show the people what they really do, and what they’ve revealed themselves to be is a cartel of some very weird people”.

“I think that the more that social media, 24-hour news, tabloid press intrusion gets us to see who they are as individuals – which is people who have been made in many cases deeply unhappy by the institution that they have been born into – the less people are inclined to support the monarchy, either as a political national institution, or as a kind of old-school celebrity that they secretly enjoy.”

“A cartel of some very weird people” is what we’re seeing today. Enjoy.

Why aren’t young people keen on the monarchy?

Because it’s an unfair, unrepresentative institution stuffed to the gills with silver-spoon weirdos. pic.twitter.com/qC0UyP8sH8

— Ash Sarkar (@AyoCaesar) May 2, 2023

Anti-monarchy protesters from Republic have already been arrested, including Graham Smith.

Photos courtesy of Avalon Red.

Note: We will have a Coronation Open Post tomorrow morning, followed by partial/full coverage across the weekend.

Jennifer Lopez looked amazing in Versace at a screening of ‘The Mother’. [Just Jared]
A jury ruled that Ed Sheeran didn’t copy Marvin Gaye. [Dlisted]
Drew Barrymore dropped out of hosting the MTV Movie Awards because of the WGA strike. Good for her. [Buzzfeed]
I disagree with one part of this Taylor Swift coverage – I absolutely believe Tay’s people would leak something to The Sun. The Sun broke the story about Taylor and Tom Hiddleton, with exclusive photos. [LaineyGossip]
A history lesson about Chile’s constitution. [Pajiba]
Ciara wore a hoodie to the ACE Awards. [Go Fug Yourself]
An explainer for some of the weird sh-t at King Charles’s Chubbly. [Jezebel]
Shay Mitchell makes her favorite drink. [Egotastic]
Menswear from the Met Gala. [RCFA]
Nick Viall’s fiancee talks about EMDR therapy. [Starcasm]
What is the one thing which could take down The Rock? [Seriously OMG]

Snoop Dogg is a capitalist and a populist, I think. Snoop is also paying close attention to the Writers Strike in Hollywood, and not just because he dips his toe in acting as well (I would imagine he has a SAG card, right?). Snoop is paying attention to the writers strike because of the f–ked up business model of the music industry these days. As streamers have changed the business of Hollywood, so too have streaming services changed the music industry. And just like the writers, musical artists don’t get paid anywhere near what they should. This week, Snoop spoke out in favor of the writers strike and how it relates to the music industry.

Snoop Dogg had some choice words about the “f–ked up” streaming models that have led the Writers Guild of America to go on strike over compensation.

“[Artists] need to figure it out the same way the writers are figuring it out,” Snoop said during a panel on Wednesday with Shirley Halperin, Variety‘s executive music editor, and Gamma’s Larry Jackson, his co-panelist and business partner. “The writers are striking because [of] streaming, they can’t get paid. Because when it’s on the platform, it’s not like in the box office.”

He continued, “I don’t understand how the f–k you get paid off of that sh-t. Somebody explain to me how you can get a billion streams and not get a million dollars?… That’s the main gripe with a lot of us artists is that we do major numbers… but it don’t add up to the money. Like where the f–k is the money?”

Snoop also gave plenty of teasers about his on-screen projects including his role in MGM and Amazon’s upcoming sports comedy film “The Underdoggs,” and his upcoming biopic with Universal Pictures. When asked about unscripted entertainment, Snoop slyly confirmed that’s also in the works. “We slated to get it rocking and rolling… after the strike, I guess,” he said.

[From Variety]

Yeah, he’s right. Musical artists, songwriters and music producers should be watching the writers strike and figuring out their next moves too, because (just my opinion) they’re getting screwed over worse than Hollywood writers. These issues have been looming for years now, and it’s crazy that Netflix, Amazon Prime, Hulu and the studios thought they could just keep underpaying their content creators and reaping billions in profits. The thing is, it’s only the “oldheads” like Snoop who can really see how the industry has shifted – I’m not sure the younger musical artists understand how badly they’re being screwed over, honestly.

Photos courtesy of Avalon Red.

Tom Ford is a fashion designer who ventured into directing. But it seems he’s making a larger career out of shading celebrities these days. I guess do what you love, right? While on the Table for Two with Bruce Bozzi podcast, he didn’t name names – although I’m sure he wanted to – but he did offer up his thoughts on injectables. According to TF, everyone is overdoing it. Specifically, celebrities. Tom asked, “Oh my God, what do they see when they look in the mirror?”

Tom Ford isn’t holding back in his opinion about celebrity beauty standards.

The 61-year-old fashion designer was a guest on the Table for Two with Bruce Bozzi podcast, where he opened up about how many of them have become harmful, not only to the celebrity, but their fans as well.

Tom shared on the program that “people are injecting way too many things in their face…You look at a lot of celebrities now and you just think ‘Oh my God, what do they see when they look in the mirror?”

He then added that “they don’t even look like themselves any longer.”

Tom also spoke about the celebrities taking part in the cosmetic procedures are going too far and compared it to a form of dysmorphia.

“It is truly dysmorphia. I think a lot of these people lose touch with who they were; they see a line and they think they have to fill it; they see a wrinkle and they’ve got to fill it; They see someone else’s mouth and they think they need to have that,” he says.

[From Just Jared]

I’m not going to agree with Tom, but I don’t think he’s entirely wrong. There are celebrities that suffer from dysmorphia, of course, and that’s a very sad thing. I truly hope they get the help they need for that. I agree that some people get overzealous and fill any line that appears simply because they liked the results of the last one. Unfortunately, the overall effect leads to a general homogenizing of their features. But maybe they prefer that look to the lines, I don’t know. Tom’s question, “oh my God, what do they see when they look in the mirror?” is predicated on his belief that, “they don’t even look like themselves any longer.” But perhaps that individual can’t see themselves in the lined face looking back at them either. I’m not defending plastic surgery, I’m just saying folks are just out here doing what they need to to get by. Tom is, in my opinion, a nice looking man. If he has not had any work done, he’s won some genetic lottery and should thank whatever sunscreen he’s using for his 61-year-old taught skin. But also recognize that affects the ease with which one can dismiss the sirens call of Botox or other tweaks.

I just want people to look in the mirror and feel joy with the person looking back at them. Not to hide a piece of them, not because a magazine made them feel bad, not because someone else’s negative whisper still rings in their ears, but because they like the look of that face staring at them. So it’s not that I don’t understand what Tom is talking about, I do. I’m just feeling more generous to people as I age. Let them be them, whatever that looks like.

Photo credit: JPI Studios/Avalon and Cover Images

Kylie Jenner waited months and months to reveal her son’s name. When it turned out that Stormi’s little brother was named Aire, most of us just rolled our eyes and moved on. Will it be the same with Khloe Kardashian? Khloe welcomed a son via surrogacy last summer. She and Tristan Thompson organized the surrogacy while they were secretly together (and telling everyone they weren’t together), then they broke up again in the middle of the pregnancy. Tristan and Khloe already had True, who is already five years old, and there were a lot of unkind (but funny) guesses for this baby’s name. Well, now we have the name: Tatum Robert Thompson.

The name of Khloe Kardashian’s baby boy can finally be revealed nine months after he was born. Reality TV star Khloe, 38, has remained tight-lipped about what she’s called the boy she had via surrogate with on-again, off-again beau Tristan Thompson in July last year. But The U.S. Sun has been exclusively told that he has been named Tatum Robert.

A source tells The U.S. Sun that Khloe resisted nudges from her family, especially her mom Kris Jenner, to give the first name of Robert to the baby after Khloe’s late father Robert Kardashian and brother Rob. Instead she decided to use Robert as the boy’s second name in honor of her lawyer dad, who passed away almost 20 years ago in September 2003, and her beloved younger brother, according to the source.

The insider said: “There was talk about whether it should be Tatum Robert or should it be Robert Tatum. Some in the family were leaning more towards Robert, because it honors her dad and her brother. Kris in particular was keen for the baby to be called Robert and was steering Khloe towards that. It took Khloe a little while to settle on the name but ultimately she went with Tatum Robert, which is in keeping with Tristan and True’s names starting with a T. Khloe wanted a name that was kind of unusual but not too out there and also keeping with the T theme.”

[From The Sun]

The T name theme… well, one of Tristan’s other baby-mothers used the same T-theme. His other sons are named Theo and Prince – Theo is the son he had with Maralee Nichols, and I’m not sure Tristan has even MET Theo. He also seems like an absent father in Prince’s life. Anyway, I dislike the name Tatum? There were other T-names which are, imo, a lot better. I bet Khloe was mad that Maralee took the name Theo. Khloe could have gone with Troy, Tobias, Tyler, Timothy, Troy, Titus or even just “Tate,” which is better than Tatum. But hey, not my baby. I also find it weird that Kris was apparently leaning on Khloe to name the kid Robert? Kim and Kourtney didn’t use “Robert” for their sons’ names. Mason Disick’s middle name is Dash (which was Robert Kardashian’s nickname, but still). Saint West doesn’t have a middle name, and Psalm’s middle name is Ye (I had to look all of this up).

Photos courtesy of Backgrid, Instagram.

King Charles, the Prince of Wales and the Princess of Wales are all out and about right now. They hosted a special lunch at Buckingham Palace today for the “Realm Governors General” and various prime ministers. Basically, all of the visiting heads of government arrived early for the coronation and the king gave them a free lunch, in exchange for interacting with Jazz Hands and Incandescent With Rage.

I don’t have an ID on Kate’s dress but it doesn’t look like a repeat, although the style is very familiar. She loves that silhouette. She got a fresh blowout for the lunch and honestly, her hair looks better today than it’s looked in months. King Charles looked the same as he has since his mother passed away: joyful, happy as a clam. It’s finally HIS moment. I am curious why Queen Camilla wasn’t around for the lunch. Maybe she had a hair appointment or a fitting.

After the lunch, Charles did a walkabout outside of the palace to thank people for coming out. Was Camilla with him? I don’t think she was. But William and Kate walked around for a while too, wearing the same outfits from the lunch.

Photos courtesy of Avalon Red.

President Biden appointed a lot of new ambassadors to replace Trump’s cronies. The current American ambassador to the UK is Jane Hartley, a Democratic donor and political ally of President Biden. She came into the ambassadorship in early 2022, having also served as an ambassador during the Obama administration. While she’s a Democratic fundraiser and donor, she knows what she’s doing. Biden wouldn’t have appointed some know-nothing crony to such an important ambassadorship. Despite his Irish pride, President Biden understands the need to have a mature diplomat in that position in London. Which makes it ridiculously funny that every time Ambassador Hartley is interviewed in the British media, she’s fielding questions about the Duke and Duchess of Sussex, not Ukraine, not Brexit, not relations with the European Union. Back in January, there was a kerfuffle because the ambassador refused to answer a question about the Sussexes:

Jane Hartley, US ambassador to the UK, has just sidestepped a question on television from @bbclaurak about whether the furore over Harry and Meghan has damaged relations between the two countries. But she praised the King for his work, particularly The Prince’s Trust.

— Richard Palmer (@RoyalReporter) January 29, 2023

LMAO. Even if Ambassador Hartley was like “yes, maybe the Sussexit did lead to a PR crisis for the monarchy,” what the hell was she supposed to do about it? Tell President Biden to launch missiles at Montecito?? Well, it got even funnier this week when Ambassador Hartley once again spoke to the British media and OF COURSE they asked her about Meghan and Harry. British people are going to do this to every American from now on, right?

The US ambassador to Britain has said she hopes Prince Harry and Meghan will support the King this weekend. Ambassador Jane Hartley also played down fears that the Duke and Duchess of Sussex’s complaints about the monarchy have taken away support for King Charles in her homeland.

Speaking to Emily Maitlis and Jon Sopel, hosts of The News Agents podcast, Ms Hartley suggested the Sussexes were getting very little mainstream media attention in the US.

When asked how much support they have in the US, Ambassador Hartley said she had not been home so may not have the “total sentiment” but added: “I’ve said this before, every family has their issues. You should come to our Thanksgiving dinner sometime with my extended family. Everybody has an opinion, and everybody speaks it clearly and loudly. And you know, I just hope that for this Coronation, there’s support for the King. That’s what I would want from them.”

Asked if she believed the Sussexes had taken away support for The King in the US, she replied: “If you look at our media, look at our New York Times, look at our Washington Post, they’re not getting that much coverage, to be very honest with you. The coverage right now is really about the Coronation. The coverage right now is about what the UK is doing with us in terms of Ukraine. The coverage right now is the alliance that President Biden has put together. So, you’re not seeing them in mainstream media, if you want to know the truth in my view, and once again, I’m here, I’m not there.”

She defended President Biden after former President Donald Trump said it was “disrespectful” of him not to attend the Coronation. “I could not disagree more. I think what was behind it was truly just scheduling and logistics,” she said.

“The President has been here four times. And the President has committed in a great phone call with the King, which I don’t want to talk about, that he will come again to the UK before the end of the year, when he and The King will have some much more private time together. So, I think that whole thing is ridiculous if you want to know the truth.”

[From The Daily Express]

“Look at our New York Times, look at our Washington Post, they’re not getting that much coverage, to be very honest with you. The coverage right now is really about the Coronation…” The Times and WaPo have been covering the coronation stuff, but they’ve been increasingly critical, as have other American outlets. The American press is aghast by the expensive medieval pageantry and historic unpopularity of the new queen consort especially.

And again, you have to understand the question asked of the ambassador and the mindset of British journalists, who operate in partnership with the monarchy and Tory government. The British media is not “adversarial” in the way the American media sees itself. The British media believes that if the Sussexes aren’t getting wall-to-wall, full-throated support in the American media, that means that the Sussexes are “unpopular.” When really, Harry and Meghan can do whatever they want, whenever they want, and the British media is going to be gagged no matter what. Just the sheer fact that Ambassador Hartley continues to field questions about the Sussexes is proof enough that the Sussexes are the story.

Photos courtesy of Avalon Red.

SPOILERS for this season of Ted Lasso.

It’s felt like a dirty secret, something no one wants to admit over the past month: the third and final season of Ted Lasso is bad. I enjoyed the first two seasons, and even applauded some of the more unconventional storylines, because I believed in the show and I believed that Jason Sudeikis knew where he was going. But this third season has left me questioning if Sudeikis and the other writers have any f–king idea how they’re going to end this show. The Atlantic’s David Sims feels the same way. Sims wrote a piece called “Ted Lasso Has Lost Its Way,” and I just wanted to do a few highlights from the piece:

Midway through watching “Sunflowers,” a nearly feature-length episode of Ted Lasso that juggles five separate plotlines, I wondered aloud, “When exactly did this show turn into a prestige drama?” Yes, the script still has plenty of jokes—though few of them deserve more than a low chuckle, and many characters are little more than caricatures. But as it’s continued to draw viewers and accolades for Apple TV+, this Emmy-winning comedy has pivoted further and further away from the genre to which it supposedly belongs, devolving into ham-fisted, novelistic nonsense.

…Ted Lasso’s first season earned its massive hype; it was a well-crafted workplace sitcom that built out its central character’s leadership strengths step by step, methodically depicting how Ted’s emotional intelligence more than makes up for his lack of tactical acumen. The show’s propensity for “niceness” was radical and surprising, somehow allowing it to generate laughs while dodging conflict.

Season 3, which debuted on Apple TV+ in March and is rounding into what may or may not be a series finale, is a pure example of the excesses that can flourish on streaming television. The show has no time slot to worry about, and none of the formal or thematic constraints of network television. Perhaps that’s why its episodes have settled into such supersize lengths, with “Sunflowers” running an ungodly 63 minutes. Its storytelling feels similarly slack, with characters taking whole seasons to have the slimmest emotional realizations.

Now, in Season 3, these supplementary characters have all become the stars of their own shows. Ted Lasso is no longer a workplace sitcom but a universe of workplace sitcoms, drifting from a football club to an upstart PR firm to another (more evil) football club to a pair of local restaurants. Scenes are devoid of jokes and filled with dopey, self-important monologuing on the issues of the day. Rather than have any conflict, characters offer endless hugs and wan smiles, all under the watchful mustache of Mr. Lasso, whose retinue of dad jokes feels noticeably phoned in.

[From The Atlantic]

I agree – and while I don’t mind the longer episodes, it feels like the show is just doing these longer episodes because they’ve stupidly split up all of the characters and feel the need to give everyone their own “moments” and storylines. Which would be fine if those storylines felt organic and there was some kind of masterful story being told. Instead, we get Keeley off in her own universe, suddenly having a relationship with a rich, judgemental, love-bombing a–hole. We get Roy and those red strings. We get Jason Sudeikis working out his Olivia Wilde mess on-screen.

In the first two seasons, you could also depend on Coach Lasso’s baseline managerial competence too, only that’s gone away now. Like, I get the criticism of “Lasso is actually a terrible football coach,” but in the first two seasons, he proved himself to be an inspired and intuitive manager, the kind of person who understands what people need and how an organization (or team) should operate. The “slump” of the team seemed to be the characterization of the real-world slump of the writers’ room.

Joanna Robinson mentioned something on Twitter this week, a rumor she heard that “they threw out 2/3 of the season and had to shoot it over again (it was supposed to come out last fall) which would explain things like Rupert and Zava fully disappearing from the plot. But it would not explain why the second pass is this messy.” Extensive reshoots and tossed scripts would explain some of this. But I’m also not convinced that Sudeikis knows how to land this plane.

Photos courtesy of Instagram/AppleTV, Backgrid and Avalon Red.