Keanu Reeves is still promoting John Wick: Chapter 4, and he’s still giving interviews, obviously. It’s kind of nice that while Keanu is a movie star and he’s still the lead in multiple franchises, there seems to be a real effort to not press him on his personal life? The guy has had so much tragedy in his life, I think most people – even entertainment journalists – are like “just let the guy live.” That being said, we know he’s still with Alexandra Grant, his girlfriend of something like six or seven years, I believe? While Alexandra didn’t attend any of the John Wick premieres, he did make a reference to her while he was speaking to People Magazine.

Keanu’s last moment of bliss. “A couple of days ago with my honey,” the actor says of his longtime love, artist Alexandra Grant, 49. “We were in bed. We were connected. We were smiling and laughing and giggling. Feeling great. It was just really nice to be together.”

Last time I danced: “At a friend’s wedding about eight months ago. Sometimes I’m the first out there and sometimes I need coaxing. Sometimes it’s the song and sometimes it’s the person. I just go with the feeling.

Last recurring dream: “I’ve had recurring nightmares, but they’re too scary to describe. It’s always fun to fly in dreams, isn’t it? I’m just glad I have the chance to do it anywhere. It’s quite extraordinary.

Last game I played: I’ve been playing some chess. It’s a competitive game. I don’t think you walk to the board and go, “I hope I lose.” If you don’t know how to play, I’m great—yeah, I’m a master. And if you’re really good, I’m terrible.

Last time I watched the sunrise: “I was recently traveling in Japan and had some wonderful jet lag and got to see the sun rising in Kyoto. Those are always cool. You have to stop, like, “Aren’t we glad to be here?”

[From People]

“We were in bed. We were connected. We were smiling and laughing and giggling.” Why is he rubbing it in our faces?!? No, I’m happy for him. Like, he seems lovely and gentle and kind. He’s a 58-year-old man in a loving partnership with a 48-year-old woman. Keanu’s not out there, trying to hook up with Instagram models. Also: I hate flying dreams! I only have flying dreams, on average, about once a year. I hate them. But then again, I’ve had multiple sex dreams about Andrew Garfield.

Photos courtesy of Avalon Red, Backgrid, Cover Images.

While I think Lauren Sanchez is kind of a vapid golddigger, I have to admit, I kind of hate-respect her. She secured the bag and then some. She carried on an affair with Jeff Bezos when they were both married to other people, then when the National Enquirer exposed them, they just divorced their spouses, became official together and never looked back. Bezos and Sanchez still haven’t gotten married and it doesn’t sound like they will any time soon, but they live together and they do everything together and she clearly believes that what’s his is hers. Lauren was interviewed by WSJ. Magazine and this piece is bonkers! She’s very confessional, gregarious and over-the-top. I kind of understand why she would end up the mistress-turned-official of the richest man in the world.

She pilots helicopters & planes: “This is one of the only places I feel entirely in control.” She formed Black Ops Aviation, one of the first female-owned aerial film and production companies with a focus across television and film, in 2016, when she realized she was one of only a few women doing the job. “I don’t know why more women don’t do it,” she says. Sánchez often pilots Bezos and their families around the world and tries to get in the cockpit at least three times a week to stay up to date on instruments.

She & Bezos do everything together: “He stole my trainer!” she says of Wes Okerson, who pops up occasionally on her Instagram. “Jeff is extremely dedicated to his workouts. I mean, you have no idea. He really puts in the work.”

Their life together: Sánchez and Bezos, who respectively have three children and four children from their prior relationships, share a historic Beverly Hills house built by Hollywood founding father Jack Warner, which Bezos bought from media mogul David Geffen for a then-record-setting $165 million in 2020. (The couple has other homes, including one in Seattle, where Bezos founded Amazon in 1994, and another in Washington, D.C., where the Washington Post, which he bought for $250 million in 2013, is based.) “On a typical Saturday, we hang out, we have dinner with the kids, which is always fun because you never know where the conversation is going to go with this many kids,” Sánchez says. “We are the Brady Bunch!”

Working with her boyfriend on the Bezos Award for Courage & Civility: “Jeff and I think [civility] is what’s missing in the world right now. Everything’s driven by negativity or conflict. When we called [Dolly Parton] two weeks before [the award announcement], she goes, ‘Is this real? Did you say $100 million?’ She couldn’t believe it.”

How Bezos will give away his money before he dies: “Jeff has always told me, since I’ve known him, that he’s going to give the majority of his money to philanthropy….[It wasn’t] surprising to me at all. He just never felt the need to have to say it.

Working together with Bezos: “It’s the greatest experience I’ve ever had. I’ve always had a career very separate from my partner. I think now that I can work with my partner and be with him all the time…. We love to be together and we love to work together. He’s helping me with the book. He’s getting his pilot’s license. We fly together. We work out together. We’re together all the time.

The best business advice Bezos gave her: “Living with Jeff is like having a master class every day. What he’s really taught me a lot about is management. Biggest pieces of advice? I hold a lot of meetings and I would talk first in a meeting and he goes, “No, no, no. You’re the boss. You talk last. You let everyone else talk so that they don’t get swayed by your opinion.” Keep meetings under an hour if you can. I don’t know how he does it; he can read documents for hours. Another thing he taught me is: If you’re going to have a meeting, have the person running the meeting write a document about what you’re going to discuss and why. And it can’t be more than six pages.

She’s a gossip: “It’s hard [not to talk about my relationship]. I’m a very open person. I talk a lot. I like to tell all my secrets. I have had to learn that I can’t do that. It’s a good lesson. [I used to] say stuff to people and no one would care! [I catch myself] All the time. I want to tell everyone everything. I want everyone to be my friend! I learned how to not give the location of where I’m at. I can’t Instagram things that I normally would before. I have to be more private, a little more controlled, and that’s fine.

Sunday mornings with Jeff Bezos: “Every Sunday morning, Jeff makes pancakes. He wakes up early. He gets the Betty Crocker cookbook out every time, and I’m like, “OK, you’re the smartest man in the world; why don’t you have this memorized yet?” But he opens it up every time: Exact portions make the best pancakes in the world.

[From WSJ. Magazine]

See what I mean? I sort of like her. Well, I don’t hate her. She seems like fun, she seems like she’s terrifically indiscreet and she loves having a good time. It also sounds like Bezos never really sat down and said “I’m giving away all of this money, babe.” Maybe she knows she just has to ride this to the finish line and have a lot of fun doing it. They criss-cross across the country and the globe, they live in crazy mansions, he makes pancakes from a Betty Crocker recipe… not a bad life.

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by WSJ. Magazine (@wsjmag)

Photos courtesy of Avalon Red, Instagram.

Just hours after a New York grand jury handed down a 34-count indictment against Donald Trump, Ol’ Diaper Don was seen at Mar-a-Lago. There’s a TMZ video of Trump giving a thumbs up to supporters before he went into dinner. Apparently, he and Melania had dinner together. Wow, I bet Melania was acting her ass off, trying to suppress her smiles and laughs. Thankfully, Maggie Haberman at the NY Times has a piece about how Diaper Don handled the news of the indictment. As it turns out, he was a lot like the rest of us – he thought that the grand jury probably wouldn’t indict him until late April too.

At Mar-a-Lago on Thursday evening, former President Donald J. Trump was still absorbing the news of his indictment, according to several people close to him. Mr. Trump and his aides were caught off guard by the timing, believing that any action by the grand jury was still weeks away and might not occur at all. Some advisers had become confident that there would be no movement until the end of April at the earliest and were looking at the political implications for Mr. Trump’s closest potential rival, Gov. Ron DeSantis of Florida.

At Mar-a-Lago, his Palm Beach estate, Mr. Trump’s mood has ranged in recent weeks from optimism and bravado to anxiety about his future. On Thursday evening, after the grand jury indicted him, Mr. Trump was angry but mainly focused on the political implications of the charges, not the legal consequences, according to people familiar with his thinking.

He seemed eager to project confidence and calm and was seen having a very public dinner with his wife, Melania, and her parents at the club at Mar-a-Lago.

He has been keeping a relatively normal schedule at Mar-a-Lago, which he calls “my beautiful home” — dining with guests, playing golf and telling nearly anyone that he was in a good mood and that he believed the case against him by Alvin Bragg, the Manhattan district attorney, had fallen apart. At times Mr. Trump has appeared significantly disconnected from the severity of his potential legal woes, according to people who have spent time with him in recent days.

He was also trying to tamp down his own behavior, after he posted to his social media site a news article with an image of Mr. Bragg on one side and Mr. Trump holding a baseball bat on the other. Mr. Trump’s lawyers were alarmed that he was doing himself damage. He did not repeat the act.

[From The NY Times]

Haberman also reports that Trump was particularly disturbed when Allen Weisselberg, his longtime business associate, was charged with various crimes. I would argue that Trump was disturbed because he knew that the walls were closing in – if they got Weisselberg, they would get him. Anyway, yes, Trump has been threatening violence and raging at people, and then he’ll aim for delusional optimism when he sees tourists and supporters around Mar-a-Lago.

This morning, Trump’s lawyer Joseph Tacopina told NBC News that Trump will surrender voluntarily to New York authorities but Trump will not seek, negotiate or accept a plea deal. Tacopina says Trump wants to go to trial. Likely story.

So far, Hillary Clinton and President Biden have not said anything on the record. Biden was just speaking a pool of reporters and he no-comment’d them when asked about Trump. I’m dying for Hillary to say something iconic. Obama hasn’t said anything either.

Photos courtesy of Avalon Red, Backgrid.

The Duchess of Sussex’s Archetypes podcast was one of the few podcasts I really looked forward to listening to, discussing and writing about. Was every episode a slam-dunk? No, but all of them were thought-provoking and every single episode made news. I thought the best episodes were “The Stigma of Singleton,” “Upending the ‘Angry Black Woman’ Myth” and “Beyond the Archetype: Human, Being.” I have my fingers crossed that she’s already at work on a second season and that she’s listened to fans about some of the “archetypes” she should discuss and dismantle. Meanwhile, the first season has been recognized with a Gracie Award!

Meghan Markle is being honored by the Gracie Awards. PEOPLE exclusively reveals that the Duchess of Sussex, 41, has been named a digital media national winner for the 48th Annual Gracie Awards for her Spotify podcast Archetypes. Organized by the Alliance for Women in Media Foundation, the Gracies celebrate exemplary programming and individual achievement created by, for and about women across all media in news and entertainment.

“Thank you to the Alliance for Women in Media Foundation for this prestigious honor. This is a shared success for me and the team behind Archetypes — most of whom are women — and the inspiring guests who joined me each week,” Meghan said in a statement shared to the Archewell Foundation website.

The Duchess of Sussex is being recognized for her role as a podcast host, as is Katie Couric for her namesake show Next Question and Alex Cooper for Call Her Daddy. Stars being celebrated as television national winners include Christina Applegate, Tracee Ellis Ross, Faith Hill, Amanda Seyfried, Ava DuVernay and Ziwe (who appeared on Archetypes in the fall).

This year’s theme, “Storytelling,” highlights and celebrates the narratives shared by the winners, which not only inform, inspire and captivate audiences but also enrich a collective comprehension of the world.

Winners of the 48th Annual Gracie Awards will be celebrated at a gala event at the Four Seasons Beverly Wilshire in Los Angeles on May 23, which will see a special tribute to women directors following a record number of submissions.

[From People]

May 23rd? The Beverly Wilshire? I hope Meghan goes to the gala and enjoys herself and networks with other female creators. Maybe score some guests for Season 2! Anyway, I enjoy that Archetypes is being recognized for being part of an important cultural conversation. The pod should win an award for just making the British media PANIC every Tuesday’s episode drop. Meghan’s haters were the first ones listening to her and crying about how they were being FORCED to listen to Meghan!

Photos courtesy of Archetypes/Spotify. Archewell Media, Instagram.

In the hours after Queen Elizabeth II’s passing, the new queen consort and the new Princess of Wales began looting the Royal Collection jewelry. They changed the locks on all of the archives and jewelry collections, tossed Angela Kelly’s ass out of the castle and they immediately began wearing all of QEII’s pieces to all of their public events. It was pretty tacky. But I believed it would be a new era in royal jewelry, and that we would begin to see Kate and Camilla in a lot of Royal Collection jewels, pieces which were rarely seen. While Camilla is already wearing tons of jewels (especially pieces associated closely with the Queen Mum), Kate has not gotten tons of access thus far. And now it looks like Kate might not even get a tiara for the Chubbly??!?

King Charles and Queen Camilla are set to be crowned with historic headpieces at the May 6 coronation, but Kate Middleton may go with a surprisingly more low-key option at the historic event.

With less than six weeks to go until the coronation, it’s thought that the Princess of Wales might not be wearing a tiara for the prestigious event. However, with increased anticipation for her to deliver glamour, PEOPLE understands the conversation around the decision is still ongoing.

Looking back at past coronations, there is a precedent for women in the royal family to wear bejewelled toppers.

“Tiaras were worn by nearly every royal lady at the Queen’s coronation in 1953, as well lots of aristocratic women but times have certainly changed in 70 years,” Lauren Kiehna, writer of The Court Jeweller tells PEOPLE.

Should Kate, along with other senior female members of the family forgo a tiara, then presumably long gowns are out of the question too, resulting in a radically different dress code to what might have been expected, with heirloom tiaras potentially replaced with hats or fascinators.

“I’m certainly hoping we’ll see coronation tiaras, but it’s possible that Charles is following the example of some of his European counterparts, like the King of the Netherlands, and setting a daytime formal dress code for the event,” says royal jewelry expert, Kiehna.

“That would mean that we could still see some grand jewels, like necklaces, brooches and earrings but no tiaras. I’ll be sad if that’s true but it may just be another part of the ‘de-formalizing’ of the British royal world that has taken place over the last several decades.”

[From People]

King Charles has indicated for months now that the dress code at his coronation will be different than that of his mother’s – no hosiery for men, fewer ceremonial robes, fewer Medieval touches. But I was under the belief that women would still be in formalwear and all of the royal and aristocratic women would wear all of their finest jewels. The Duchess of Higgenbottomshire would wear her family tiara, the Countess of Biscuitbourgh would wear the crested necklace, and of course all of the royal women would get to borrow large pieces from the Royal Collection. If Kate’s not in a tiara, then I feel certain this is some kind of power-play from Camilla, and/or a specific snub.

Photos courtesy of Avalon Red, Backgrid, Cover Images, Instar.

Just a few days ago, the Daily Beast’s Royalist had a fascinating exclusive, with “sources close to King Charles” screaming and crying about Prince Harry’s appearance in London, and his witness statement in his lawsuit against ANL/The Mail. According to those sources, Harry had “torpedoed any remaining bridges” with his family and that Charles was completely out of olive branches. Sources close to Prince William and King Charles are always claiming that about every little thing Harry and Meghan do and say. The Windsors are obsessed with reacting negatively to all things Sussex. What’s even funnier is that, after a few days, it’s like… all is forgotten and the whole cycle starts over. Now that Harry’s court appearances are over, the palace is back to openly briefing the media about the potential seating arrangement for the coronation, as in… the Sussexes will be seated prominently. Some highlights from Royalist:

It looks like there are more olive branches & bridges: “Nothing that happens between now and then will make any difference to the seating plan,” a friend of the king told The Daily Beast. “Charles has always said that he loves both his sons. He wants them both there. Harry and Meghan are invited and will be seated prominently.”

William will get the best seat: Most observers believe that the seating layout will favor William, as the heir to the throne, with the best spot at his father and Camilla’s side (when the king and queen are sitting with the congregation, as they will be for part of proceedings). He will be accompanied by his wife, Kate, and their three children, which will account for all the seats on the right of the aisle (assuming they go 14 abreast as they did at Queen Elizabeth’s funeral) and will neatly keep the king and the first four in the line of succession together visually.

They’re honestly counting seats: Those three spaces could be filled by Harry, Meghan and Andrew. There seems to be broad agreement in royal circles that uncomplaining Edward may have to take the hit of being seated next to Andrew, meaning that peeling away from the aisle you could have Harry, Meghan, Anne, Sir Tim, Sophie, Edward, and Andrew. The inclusion of Andrew in this pivotal event seems to be what the public has been being softened up for ever since he escorted his mother to her seat at the memorial for her late husband. It would cement a narrative of Charles the Magnanimous.

Charles doesn’t want to look like he’s snubbing Harry: It would be good for Charles not to be seen to be snubbing his second son, who is fifth in line to the throne, a position he will retain until William has grandchildren, which could easily be over 20 years away given that his eldest son, George, is only 9. Attempting to banish Harry, Meghan, and Andrew behind a pillar a few rows from the back would succeed only in making Charles look extremely petty, and give credence to every word Harry has written.

Charles the Traditional: Another friend, who said they believed seating arrangements had not as yet been finalized, told The Daily Beast: “Charles has a strong sense of tradition, and tradition dictates that Harry ought to be in the front row. I am sure he will do the right thing. Despite everything that has happened, he is his son.”

Charles loves Harry: Charles loves Harry; he is his son and of course he is wanted at the coronation. Even the most ardent supporters of Harry don’t dispute these core claims—indeed, Harry’s book was surprisingly tender towards his beleaguered father. There is no malice and little duplicity in the “Pa” of Spare, rather his failures as a dad seem to stem from very human weakness.

What book? Spare certainly dented the mystique of the monarchy but it notably failed, unlike Diana’s book with Andrew Morton, to rock the institution to its foundations. The guiding principle of the Palace in relation to Spare increasingly appears to be, “Book—what book?”

[From The Daily Beast]

This is all part of the nervousness in recent weeks, a nervousness shared by palace and press about whether they’ve overplayed their hands and been too nasty about the Sussexes, to the point where Harry and Meghan will refuse the Chubbly invitation. Sources already made a point of saying that Harry would not have to publicly show any sort of respect to the stepmother he hates. Of course, I also believe that this outsized focus on the Sussexes’ possible attendance is a way to avoid discussing the lack of enthusiasm for the coronation, as well as avoiding the conversations about Charles and Camilla’s historic unpopularity. But sure, I believe that Charles will probably want the Sussexes in the front row if they come.

The royal reporters made such a BFD about the seating arrangements at QEII’s funeral, but in the Abbey, Charles placed the Sussexes directly behind him so they were in every shot of the new king. The reporters were like “Harry was snubbed by being placed in the second row!” But the optics worked differently: Harry looked like the heir, not William.

Photos courtesy of Avalon Red, Cover Images.

Melanie Lynskey appeared on The Drew Barrymore Show on Tuesday. She and Megan Dodds put on their Ever After costumes along with Drew to mark the 25th anniversary. On Wednesday, Melanie was back with husband Jason Ritter to discuss her current show Yellowjackets. Melanie and Jason are lovely people independently. But they have become known for their adorable support of each other publicly as well. I realize ‘adorable’ is a bit of a silly descriptor for 40-something people in a committed relationship, but it’s also apt. They constantly serve as each other’s cheerleaders and not in an overly-syrupy, hyperbolic way. Just sweet, earnest sentiments that show not only their affection for each other, but how much fun they have together. While on Drew’s show, Jason showed his signature sincerity in the loveliest, most pure admission of when he realized Melanie was the one. While most people talk about their meet-cute, Jason said he knew Melanie was the one when he realized he needed to quit drinking and become a better man for her.

Jason Ritter became emotional talking about his relationship with alcohol when he first started dating his now-wife Melanie Lynskey.

The Emmy nominee opened up about his experience with alcoholism early on in his relationship with the Yellowjackets actress during Wednesday’s episode of The Drew Barrymore Show.

When asked by host Drew Barrymore, “What was your moment when you knew [Lynskey was the one],” Ritter responded: “I knew how incredible Melanie was early on.”

Ritter, 43, continued, “It’s not as cute of a story as you would like to think. It was messy and interesting and weird. But mixed in the mix, [I was] dealing with some alcoholism issues.”

“At a point, I knew how amazing she was, and I thought she would be incredible for someone who deserved her, basically,” he said, choking up. (Lynskey, 45, quietly uttered “aw” and reached for his hand.)

“And I didn’t feel like I was that person. I thought [I was] a little bit too crazy,” he shared. “So it was only after like maybe a year into not drinking where I started to go, ‘Oh, maybe I can promise some things to someone else. Maybe I can be this person.’ It’s been like a slow burn.”

Ritter continued, “I knew she was incredible. It was working on myself enough to feel like maybe I can be the one for her, too.”

Wiping her tears away, Lynskey said of her husband, “He did so much work on himself. I’m so proud of him.”

[From People]

“It was working on myself enough to feel like maybe I can be the one for her, too,” it’s rare that I hear things that I’d wish had been said about me, but this would be one of them. If you watch the clip, posted below, Jason is so sincere in his admission, it’s beautiful. It’s almost as though he doesn’t realize he was going to say it until it’s out there. But this is a marvelous description of love, that it makes a person want to be a better version of themselves. And that has nothing to do with money or looks or anything else superficial. It has everything to do with becoming more reliable and a safer space for their partner.

For a little background, Melanie and Jason met on a project, The Big Ask, in 2013. They began dating right away, had their daughter in 2018 and married in 2020. So they’ve been together for a decade now and have worked together on three different projects. Starred together, I should say. Because they’ve worked together a lot, it turns out. Jason had a secondary role in Melanie’s Candy mini-series with Jessica Biel. And, I just discovered, he got prothetelic-ed up as a Clicker in Melanie’s climatic scene in The Last of Us. A married couple who works together that well is a something else. My relationship survives because my husband and I do not work together.

.@JasonRitter opens up about having to address his alcoholism when he first started dating @melanielynskey. pic.twitter.com/Nw4Glxnw4i

— The Drew Barrymore Show (@DrewBarrymoreTV) March 29, 2023

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Melanie Lynskey (@msmelanielynskey)

Photo credit: Cover Images,Twitter, Instagram, and Martin Sloan/Avalon

Prince Harry did show up for the final day of the four-day pre-trial hearing in his lawsuit against the Mail/ANL. He came to court a bit later than he did on Monday and Tuesday, and we still don’t know why he skipped court on Wednesday. Fingers crossed, it was to finish packing up Frogmore Cottage so the Sussex family will have no more ties to that godforsaken family. Harry rolled up to court on Thursday wearing another slim-cut suit and a Dior button-down and looking handsome, healthy and well-endowed (it’s true). On the final day, Harry’s lawyer David Sherbourne spoke about the Mail’s gaslighting and lies:

Prince Harry’s lawyer has accused the Daily Mail’s parent company of “gaslighting” victims by covering up its journalists’ alleged illegal behaviour. The barrister David Sherborne alleged that Associated Newspapers publicly insisted it stuck to the law while privately knowing that reporters relied on a wide range of illegal techniques including voicemail interception, blagging of personal information, and placing listening devices inside cars. Associated denies the claims.

Doreen Lawrence has alleged that a Daily Mail journalist instructed a private investigator to target her. She claims this took place at the same time as the Daily Mail was publicly campaigning on behalf of her murdered son, Stephen Lawrence. Sherborne told the high court in London: “That is nothing short of gaslighting Baroness Lawrence. That’s the concealment we are talking about.”

Harry returned to the courtroom on Thursday to observe the closing legal arguments over whether his case will be allowed to proceed to trial. The case could drag the Daily Mail and Mail on Sunday into lengthy and expensive legal proceedings like those that have dogged the Sun, the News of the World and the Mirror over the past two decades.

Sherborne told the court that the Daily Mail and Mail on Sunday hid their illegal behaviour by disguising the use of inappropriately obtained material in newspaper articles. The lawyer said the newspapers would print illegally gathered material in the form of quotes from “friends” of the victims, leaving individuals convinced that their inner circle had sold them out to the media. He said this tactic was tantamount to covering up crimes. “This creates the very paranoia and suspicion that leads people off the scent,” he said.

Associated Newspapers strongly denies all the allegations as “preposterous smears” and is attempting to have the cases thrown out before they go to a full trial. The publisher told the court that Harry and his fellow claimants were “far too late” in filing their legal paperwork, meaning their cases should not be heard.

Individuals generally have six years after discovering they were potential victims to bring a case. Associated argued that Harry and his fellow claimants should have known they were the potential victims of illegality by the Daily Mail and Mail on Sunday in the early 2010s, meaning they had missed the deadline to bring their case. In response, Sherborne said it was impossible for the cases to have been filed earlier because Harry and the other claimants only recently discovered they were potential victims. He also referenced “vociferous and prolific denials of any wrongdoing” made by senior executives at Associated Newspapers under oath to the Leveson inquiry into media ethics.

[From The Guardian]

“He also referenced ‘vociferous and prolific denials of any wrongdoing’ made by senior executives at Associated Newspapers under oath to the Leveson inquiry.” LOL. Mail executives were crying on the record during the Leveson Inquiry about how they would NEVER wiretap or illegally surveil celebrities and royals, then years later, one of their private detectives was like “yeah, Mail editors totally ordered me to wiretap everybody” and now the Mail’s argument is “it’s too late to sue, you should have known we were lying in 2011!!” The British tabloid culture is utterly ridiculous. It’s insane how much power they’ve assumed and gathered, especially given that we’re not exactly dealing with the brain trust of England.

Photos courtesy of Avalon Red, Backgrid.

A week ago, Jonathan Majors and his girlfriend were traveling by taxi back to his apartment after a night out. His girlfriend tried to look at or grab his phone, and that’s when Majors (allegedly) physically assaulted her. Reportedly, he slapped her and had his hands around her throat at one point. They separated after the taxi ride – she went to a friend’s place and then to the hospital where she was treated for bruises and lacerations. She ended up reporting the alleged assault to the police, and Majors was arrested and taken into custody last weekend. He was charged with misdemeanor assault, aggravated harassment, attempted assault and harassment, then he was released without bail. He loudly proclaimed his innocence following his arrest, and his lawyer spoke about how they have “two written statements from the woman recanting these allegations,” and Majors dismissed her claims, saying that she was merely having “an emotional crisis.”

Well, on Thursday, Jonathan Majors’ lawyers released the texts which – they claimed – were the victim “recanting” her accusations. These are texts sent after this poor woman left the hospital after Majors brutalized her, after the cops saw her visible injuries. Oh, and Majors’ lawyer released the texts exclusively to TMZ, the men’s rights advocacy group.

Jonathan Majors’ lawyer shares with TMZ alleged texts sent to the actor from the woman https://t.co/bgu2USrrMJ pic.twitter.com/48qVCDM8Wp

— philip lewis (@Phil_Lewis_) March 30, 2023

As many have noted, it’s wild that HIS lawyer released such damning texts and that the lawyer thinks these constitute a recantation or retraction. By this poor woman’s own descriptions, we know she had visible injuries, we know that she’s terrified of him, we know that (like many victims of domestic violence) she blames herself for “grabbing his phone.” Terrifyingly, we also now know that the 911 call happened because he hurt her so badly that she “collapsed” and “passed out,” probably from Majors strangling her.

jonathan majors lawyer really woke up and was like “let’s put out evidence that the girl did pass out and collapse and maybe people won’t ask how that happened if she says she grabbed his phone”

— ashley ray (honeycomb) (@theashleyray) March 30, 2023

This a fawning response in an attempt to do damage control and establish safety with an abuser the survivor has a continuing relationship with. Survivors of abuse do this literally all of the time. It’s a survival mechanism. https://t.co/Ai3eoc5hZr

— Lee Shevek (@butchanarchy) March 30, 2023

Photos courtesy of Avalon red.

It is too funny that, on the same evening Donald Trump got indicted, Gwyneth Paltrow was “acquitted” in her ski trial. Trump indicted, Goop innocent! Gwyneth was the defendant in a civil trial over a 2016 ski accident on the bunny slopes of Park City, Utah. Terry Sanderson tried to claim that Gwyneth crashed into him and left him with broken bones and head trauma. Gwyneth said no, Sanderson crashed into me and people did check on him. The jury believed Gwyneth and they awarded her the $1 she was asking for. Vindication!

The jury reached a verdict in the civil trial between Gwyneth Paltrow and Terry Sanderson over a ski collision that happened seven years ago. After less than three hours of deliberations on Thursday, the jury in Park City, Utah, found that Paltrow, 50, was not at fault and that retired optometrist Sanderson, 76, was at fault 100 percent and that it caused the actress harm. The jury awarded her $1.

Over the course of the two-week proceedings, the jury was tasked with determining what Paltrow and Sanderson did before and after the Feb. 26, 2016, incident, who was the downhill skier, and who crashed into whom.

Paltrow says in a statement obtained by PEOPLE, “I felt that acquiescing to a false claim compromised my integrity. I am pleased with the outcome and I appreciate all of the hard work of Judge Holmberg and the jury, and thank them for their thoughtfulness in handling this case.”

Her attorney Stephen Owens adds, “We are pleased with this unanimous outcome and appreciate the judge and jury’s thoughtful handling of the case. Gwyneth has a history of advocating for what she believes in — this situation was no different and she will continue to stand up for what is right.”

Sanderson’s attorney C. Peter Sorensen said in a statement, “We are disappointed in the outcome, but we love and support the legal process. We thank Judge Holmberg, the jury and staff for all their efforts. We will spend the next while evaluating and discussing where we go from here.”

While exiting the courtroom after the verdict was revealed, Paltrow leaned in and briefly whispered to Sanderson before continuing to leave. Sanderson confirmed to Extra that she said, “I wish you well,” and he responded, “Thank you, dear.” He told the outlet that was “very kind of her.”

[From People]

Yeah, Gwyneth leaning over and saying “I wish you well” to the guy who spent years trying to sue her for millions of dollars is… cold as ice. As someone joked, that’s Brentwood-speak for “go f–k yourself.” Anyway, it’s remarkable to see as Gwyneth has come out of this smelling like a rose! In the Gossip with Celebitchy podcast coming out this weekend, I even admitted that I believed her version of events but that doesn’t change the fact that Gwyneth is an objectively terrible person. It’s just in this one particular case, she was not at fault.

Gwyneth Paltrow is INNOCENT! And, even more importantly, is now $1 richer. JUSTICE IS SERVED! https://t.co/3L3RzhBjSz pic.twitter.com/Tt34Inlr2t

— Decider (@decider) March 30, 2023

Photos courtesy of Backgrid.