Camilla Tominey had a new piece in the Telegraph this weekend, all about Princess Lilibet and Prince Archie’s titles. Tominey is, like so many deranged haters, performatively clutching her pearls at Lili and Archie’s birthright and she’s trying to make it sound like Prince Harry and Meghan are making some kind of bold statement by simply… adhering to the Letters Patent, in which all children of the monarch are given royal titles. All of the royal reporters, including Tominey, have played fast and loose with the fact that King Charles could have used his grandkids’ titles in the online line of succession on the royal website months ago. They continue to echo the palace talking point that the Sussexes only decided recently that the kids should have titles. Keep in mind, even by the palace’s own chaotic briefings in the past week, they’ve known of Harry and Meghan’s “decision” for months. And that’s not even taking into account the fact that Charles simply should have referred to Archie and Lili with their titles starting last September. Some highlights from Tominey’s very weird piece in the Telegraph:

This is so curiously worded: The King could have only changed [Lili and Archie’s titles] by issuing a second letters patent stripping them of their titles which, despite briefings to the contrary, the palace insists he never had any intention of doing. Sources close to the Sussexes suggest that they made it known to the Firm before Christmas that their children were going to take their titles. As a second statement released on behalf of the couple later on Wednesday stressed: “The children’s titles have been a birthright since their grandfather became monarch. This matter has been settled for some time in alignment with Buckingham Palace.” Harry and Meghan are thought to have been somewhat put out that the Royal family’s website had not been updated earlier. Royal sources claim they were waiting for a formal announcement by the couple.

The palace knew about the christening announcement: According to one well-placed insider, the royal powers that be were aware the “Princess Lilibet” statement was coming because it followed internal “discussions”. It is not known whether these conversations extended beyond the different parties’ press offices to become a topic of family discourse but whatever the nature of the talks – the Sussexes’ decision does have implications for the future of the monarchy.

Oh, the slimmed-down monarchy: For how is the King to slim down his court when he has got four non-working royals all using their titles, which could attract commercial opportunities? Whatever the reason behind Harry and Meghan’s decision-making, their children are a cut above celebrity in America, where in the absence of a class system there is a hierarchy of fame and fortune. But as Dr Craig Prescott, a lecturer in Law at Bangor University, has pointed out: “If they believe that this may benefit Archie and Lilibet in the future, is it worth the cost of an increased public profile? Do they risk becoming curiosities: an American Prince and an American Princess?”

Titles = public life?? Having fiercely guarded their children’s privacy, as well as their personal security, Harry and Meghan do not appear to have fully accounted for the fact that Archie and Lilibet may wish to live lives well out of the public eye. To coin a Sussex expression, how on earth will royal titles enable them to find their freedom?

This is all about Camilla?? Not so much a pre-emptive strike, as a calculated move to reaffirm their children’s place in the palace pecking order, the timing of the Princess Lilibet announcement is interesting – coming just a week after reports emerged that the Queen Consort’s grandchildren will take a leading role in the Coronation on May 6.

The palace is still convinced that Meghan and the kids will not come to the Chubbly: With a save the date email having already been sent to their Montecito home, does the decision to take the titles mean we will not only be seeing Harry and Meghan at Westminster Abbey but Prince Archie and Princess Lilibet? Don’t bank on it. Summing up the consensus behind palace walls, one royal insider remarked: “The thinking is that only Harry will come.” With Archie turning four on the day of the ceremony, Meghan and the children have the perfect get-out-of-Coronation-free card.

[From The Telegraph]

“The King could have only changed [Lili and Archie’s titles] by issuing a second letters patent stripping them of their titles which, despite briefings to the contrary, the palace insists he never had any intention of doing.” So… the palace was openly briefing the press on Charles’s plan to issue a second Letters Patent, which he never actually planned to do? That sounds like a Charles problem, not a Sussex problem. Harry understood (better than Meghan) what it meant when his father became king and what it would mean for his children. He waited to see what his dogsh-t father would do, and Charles did what Harry expected: went out of his way to refuse Archie and Lili their birthright titles publicly until Harry challenged him on it publicly.

As for all of the “concerns” about Prince Archie and Princess Lilibet becoming curious American royalty… are we still pretending that a royal title equals public money, security and protection from harassment? Because we have eyes, Camilla Tominey, we know that’s not the case. The titles are just that – titles and nothing more. Lili and Archie are American kids who will live in America and visit their dogsh-t grandfather, the king, once in a blue moon.

Photos courtesy of Instar.

Yesterday was Commonwealth Day in the UK. During the day, King Charles, Queen Camilla and the other “working royals” traveled to Westminster Abbey for a special Commonwealth service. Then, hours later, Charles and Camilla hosted a Commonwealth Day reception at Buckingham Palace and the same working royals – minus the Princess of Wales – all attended. First of all, the Commonwealth was already strained in QEII’s final years, and it’s going to be ripped to shreds under King Charles. He fundamentally doesn’t care about the Commonwealth in the same way his mother did, and – I believe – Charles has made his peace with “losing” ties to many Commonwealth nations.

But there are even bigger problems than that. Charles’s math has always been: it’s okay to leave Britain’s historic Commonwealth ties in tatters because the British monarch needs to be more localized, smaller and more manageable. As in, he sees himself as monarch of the UK and not an empire. Except that Charles can’t even leave the castle without getting protested these days, and the protests and demonstrations keep getting bigger and louder. Y’all – the Chubbly is in less than two months, and Republic keeps getting more and more volunteers to protest Charles.

‘Not my King‘ – Protests during the arrival of King Charles at Westminster Abbey on Commonwealth Day

„Nicht mein König“ – Proteste bei der Ankunft von König Charles in Westminster Abbey am Commonwealth Tag pic.twitter.com/xEl56A2gMb

— ZDF Studio London (@ZDFlondon) March 13, 2023

Photos courtesy of Avalon Red, Cover Images.

On Monday, the Windsors celebrated Commonwealth Day by going to church for a Commonwealth service. This was famously the same event which served as the Duke and Duchess of Sussex’s final appearance as working royals, the finale of their You Coulda Had a Bad Bitch Tour. Three years later and… a lot has changed. Everyone seems smaller and yet… more chaotic? The drama is still there, even minus the Sussexes, although the glamour definitely left with them.

The Princess of Wales loves to cosplay other people – QEII, her mother, Crown Princess Mary and, of course, the Duchess of Sussex. But we often forget that Kate also loves to dress up like she’s in Downton Abbey, which used to be one of her favorite shows. That’s the vibe Kate gave me in these photos – Edwardian cosplay, Lady Mary vibes. Kate wore a new £3,000 Erdem suit and a diamond Prince of Wales three-feather brooch (which looks a lot like a fleur-de-lis). Apparently, King Charles gave it to Kate as a gift. Interesting. Charles used to “give” his PoW-branded stuff to his mistresses. I doubt that’s the case here. Anyway, I really dislike Kate’s ensemble. All of that money for something that looks like a cheap Downton costume.

Queen Camilla’s outfit is by Fiona Clare, and she wore an unsecured Philip Treacy hat which she had to hold onto in the wind. The new Duke and Duchess of Edinburgh were there too – if anything, Sophie’s the one doing Meghan cosplay. What is with Sophie’s wreath brooch?

Photos courtesy of Avalon Red, Cover Images.

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If you lost at the Oscars would you be tempted to go home and skip the parties? I know I would. Hell, I would want to ditch the minute someone else’s name was announced. These celebrities have teams of people relying on them to showcase and promote their work. Plus their friends and coworkers are out and they can mingle. You know they have decent snacks and drinks and by that time you’re starving. Networking is part of their job. I would not make a decent celebrity, is what I’m saying.

Angela Bassett wore a Moschino gown to the ceremony and she changed into a Moschino pantsuit for the Vanity Fair after party. She is vibrant and unbothered and her friends and family were there! I was looking at the Instagram for her makeup artist and he reposted a story where someone posted her picture and wrote “face card never declines” which is so accurate for her. He also posted the makeup he uses for her and it’s all Chanel.

Danai Gurira was in a glam pink sequin gown that fit her like a glove. She was working that cleavage and she looked amazing. I love how she was all covered up and prim for the Oscars and let loose for the after party.

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Salma Hayek wore Gucci to the ceremony. I don’t have an ID on her after party dress, but she definitely picked the better dress to wear earlier in the night. This looks a little nightgowny, I think that’s due to the lace edging. I like her daughter Valentina’s dress a little better. Valentina is 15 and she looks so bored! I remember that age, it’s just how they are.

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Hong Chau changed into black ruched Maison Rabih Kayrouz. This is such a different look from her staid pink Prada at the ceremony and I like it. Like Danai, she was conservative for the Oscars and switched it up after. I’ve enjoyed seeing her fashion this awards season. She takes calculated risks.

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Allison Williams should have worn this striped gold gown to the Oscars. It’s so much better than the pink Giambattista Valli mess she had on. She was just a presenter though, maybe she didn’t want to overdo it.

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Kerry Washington attended the Vanity Fair Oscar Party in a champagne Donna Karen gown. Fortunately, Vanity Fair stuck with their traditional black carpet, so the dress wasn’t washed out by the beige nonsense like at the Oscars. Unfortunately, the dress isn’t great. And it’s too bad because Kerry has been killing it of late, too. Her styling is fabulous but the tattered neckline and messy gathering at the waist makes it look like she tried to upcycle a satin bedsheet. At least Kerry knows how to work a gown. She’s elevating this.

Me expecting Kate Beckinsale to hit the mark at the VF party is starting to feel like Charlie Brown kicking the football. I got my hopes up when I saw the clean perfection of this Tony Ward asymmetrical neckline. And then I looked down and got sad. As someone who isn’t eager for the sheer skirt trend to come back in the first place, I certainly don’t want it paired with all of my grandmothers saved tinfoil balls. And I’m tired of Kate in a high ponytail. She looks fine in it, but we’ve seen it so many times.

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Emma Roberts brought divorce party realness to VF in this Dolce & Gabbana corseted gown. I love these two pieces separately. The lace bodice with chiffon skirt is quite pretty. And the sheet lace-trimmed widow’s cape is sexy and dramatic. But because it has a defined choker, it’s competing with the dress’s neckline. It’s also throwing off Emma’s styling, which would have worked for the gown alone. But with the cape, it looks like she’s play-acting.

I’m waffling on Minnie Driver’s Emilia Wickstead gown. I mostly love it. I don’t like the pearl ladder on the side. I love the green floral print and am choosing to believe that’s Minnie’s shout-out to St. Patrick’s Day coming up. The top is a little boring, but I love the full luscious skirt. The winners though, are the back detail and earrings. I’ll bet this was amazing in motion.

Photo credit: Cover Images, JPI Studios/Avalon and Getty Images

Danielle Deadwyler was notably snubbed for an Oscar nomination despite her moving performance in Till and I guess was not invited to the Oscars. But she did attend the Vanity Fair Oscar Party in Versace. I wish I could say she turned up and showed out, but I really don’t like this. My first thought was she looks like Wilma Flintstone, but I was wrong and she’s actually wearing Fred Flintstone’s colors. I do like the jewelry though. And her subtle makeup and pixie are perfect.

Gabrielle Union in Ralph Lauren was probably my favorite in a sea of sequined black dresses. I always love a deep-V and I like the extra long sleeves here — at first I thought they had thumbholes. Her jewelry, hair, and makeup are on point, as always. And Dwyane Wade is in Prada.

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Alexandra Daddario was in Alexandre Vauthier, the blousy version of Gabrielle’s dress. It even had a deep-V in the back! I’m on the fence about this dress — in some photos it looked great and in others it looked a bit like a plastic lawn bag. I love those earrings though.

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Halsey gave off goth, witchy vibes in Givenchy. It looks like the gloves are attached to the dress, there’s a ruched front, and here’s another deep-V in the back. You know I love Halsey, but this is boring. Except for the back, I would wear this to work. I’ve seen much better from her, and recently too, which makes this extra bad. Also their cheeks look very snatched.

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Halle and Chloe Bailey posed together at the after party. They’re so cute! Halle changed out of her Ariel blue dress into another great dress. This one is a structured liquid gold Maison Yega dress. Or is it silver? It looks different depending on the pic and I love it. And Chloe wore a black sequined one-shoulder/sleeved David Kona dress. The dramatic makeup and feathered bottom remind me of Swan Lake.

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Photos credit: Avalon.red, Getty and Cover Images

Colin Farrell looked like a snack at the Oscars. His date was his 13-year-old son Henry! I was sorry that Colin lost! [Just Jared]
Lauren Boebert, 36, is going to be a grandmother. [Jezebel]
Blonde won Worst Picture at the Razzies. [Dlisted]
I am *not* shipping Florence Pugh & Andrew Garfield. [LaineyGossip]
Glenn Close missed the Oscars because she got Covid. [Seriously OMG]
The trailer for Summoning Sylvia. [OMG Blog]
Jenna Ortega did a good job hosting SNL. [Pajiba]
Everyone hated Florence Pugh’s duvet. [Go Fug Yourself]
A round-up of the Oscars red carpet. [RCFA]
Gisele Bundchen works the stripper pole. [Egotastic]
The most awkward moments from the Oscars. [Buzzfeed]
Everything Michelle Yeoh wore throughout the awards season. [Tom & Lorenzo]
James Norton: We, as a society, are scared of bajingos. [Towleroad]

The only joke which really landed and made me chuckle was the one about Ozempic, the diabetes drug which is being widely used/abused in Hollywood to drastically lose weight quickly. Jimmy Kimmel joked that everyone in the auditorium looked nice and “I can’t help but wonder, ‘Is Ozempic right for me?’” I bring this up because…Mindy Kaling was one of the presenters at the Oscars. She wore two Vera Wang gowns – the white one for the carpet, the black one to present. We’ve talked about how small she is these days, but her weight loss was really driven home in these dresses. Plus, the dresses are just… bad.

Janelle Monae also wore Vera Wang. Like, when did Vera Wang get so funky? Wang used to make pretty and simple gowns in pastels, stuff which looked vaguely “ice-skater princess.” Now it’s traffic-cone orange skirts and structured bustiers? This skirt is tragique, by the way, and not just because it’s orange. Janelle is so beautiful, I wish she made different style choices!

Photos courtesy of Avalon Red.

The Oscar producers wanted to do a mini-reunion for Four Weddings and a Funeral, so they invited Hugh Grant and Andie MacDowell to present together. It’s kind of shocking that Hugh actually said yes – yes to flying to LA, yes to the Oscars, yes to walking the red carpet. Thankfully, he’s still Hugh Grant, and once he arrived on the carpet, he was ushered to Ashley Graham, who was one of ABC’s red carpet hosts. Hugh wasn’t happy. He let Ashley know he wasn’t happy by refusing to engage in the typical red-carpet banter of “who are you wearing” and “what’s your favorite part of the Oscars” and “here’s thirty seconds to promote whatever you have going on.”

As this unfolded live, you could see Hugh and Ashley figure out that they despised each other in real time. At first, I didn’t get Hugh’s “Vanity Fair” reference either – I also thought he was referencing the famous Vanity Fair Oscar party, but no, it was a literary reference to “a fair that goes on perpetually in the town of Vanity and symbolizes worldly ostentation and frivolity.” Trust Hugh Grant to reference Pilgrim’s Progress on the Oscar red carpet. Anyway, Hugh might be the worst red carpet interviewee of all time.

When he presented with Andie, he seemingly went off script a bit, trying to be charming about how Andie looks amazing: “We’re actually here to do two things. The first is to raise awareness about the vital importance of using a good moisturizer. Andie’s been wearing one every day for the last 29 years. I’ve never used one in my life…. I’m basically a scrotum.” I mean, it’s true? Hugh Grant has some dry-ass skin. Remember that miniseries he did with Nicole Kidman? He was maybe the ashiest man I’d ever seen in my life. I can’t believe he just wanders around so bitter and unmoisturized every day.

Photos courtesy of Avalon Red.

I feel bad for Florence Pugh because I think she’s going to be on the top of a lot of worst-dressed lists today. Flo thought she served and she… didn’t. This is Valentino – a pair of black bike shorts with a shiny duvet wrap, not the chicest. The worst part, to me, wasn’t the awful dress but her styling. I feel like we’re going to get a strongly-worded Instagram about how much we hate those stupid baby bangs. Meanwhile, Miss Flo went to a pre-Oscar party this weekend and Olivia Wilde was there. They apparently took pains to avoid each other completely. Good!

Stephanie Hsu in Valentino. This Oscar nominee got her big princess moment and I thought this was the best Valentino of the night. It was an extra bonus that, when Jamie Lee Curtis won Best Supporting, basically everyone on the internet was like “if Angela Bassett had to lose, it should have been to Stephanie.” And truly, Stephanie’s role was so much more important in EEAAO. Anyway, I love this beautiful color on her. She looked beautiful and you could tell she felt beautiful too.

Emily Blunt in Valentino. First off, a lot of people were getting a vibe about Emily, right? Was the vibe just because her husband John Krasinski wasn’t her Oscar date? My vibe is not “there’s trouble in paradise.” I think John was probably just busy or he didn’t want to go to the Oscars. As for the dress… first I was meh, then I hated it, but now I’m back to meh. There was so much white on the beige carpet, and this look wasn’t the best or the worst. I wish she had been blinged out – she should have been dripping in diamonds in this simple dress.

Photos courtesy of Avalon Red.