I still think the reason why Reese Witherspoon & Ashton Kutcher look so awkward with one another is because he smells bad. [Dlisted]
Does Taylor Swift not know how much eggs cost? Or was she simply confused by how dreadfully unfunny Trevor Noah was as Grammy host? [Buzzfeed]
Ah, Harry Styles had “technical difficulties” during his performance. [JustJared]
Andrea Riseborough didn’t go to the London Critics Circle Awards. Will she go to any of the awards season events? Hm. [LaineyGossip]
The Last of Us episode 4 recap. [Pajiba]
Cardi B changed into this Paco Rabanne at the Grammys. [RCFA]
Would you wear this grandma’s quilt-looking Moschino dress? [Tom & Lorenzo]
I loved Bonnie Raitt’s lil’ suit at the Grammys. [GFY]
Speaking of Trevor Noah being unfunny… [Towleroad]
Zendaya’s bob is cute as hell. [Egotastic]
Jennifer Coolidge talks about Legally Blonde 3. [OMG Blog]
Trendspotting: thinner or nonexistent eyebrows. [Jezebel]

I have been laughing all day at the Your Place or Mine premiere/press photos pic.twitter.com/B8p5RQvEtP

— Mike (@michaelcollado) February 3, 2023

Last week, the Princess of Wales “launched” her latest awareness-raising campaign Shaping Us, a vague yet expensive campaign aimed at spreading the word that the Early Years are important, and if you don’t get your children’s first five years correct, they’ll be terrible people. It also only applies to affluent two-parent households, of course. But I digress – I wanted to point out that Kate only really did limited “live” events for the launch campaign – the BAFTA thing, then a day of visiting Leeds, including trips to the Leeds Market and a local university. That was it – the rest of her Shaping Us launch involved pre-filmed and carefully edited videos so Kensington Palace could control just how little Kate does and how little she knows.

I bring this up because she used the same method of “unpublicized visit, video release by Kensington Palace” for her “event” on Monday. Kate went to St. John’s CE Primary School in Bethnal Green to launch Place2Be’s Children’s Mental Health Week. She’s been Place2Be’s patron for years and for awareness-weeks past, she’s usually done some kind of video. I have no idea why she doesn’t do a proper event with the royal rota in full force, but I guess the palace likes to exert a lot of control with Kate.

Kate loves a horizontal-striped top. She’s also trying to wear more hoop earrings lately.

Photos courtesy of Avalon Red/Kensington Royal.

There’s literally four months until King Charles’s Chubbly party, which will probably end up being a lot more expensive than originally promised. Four months… and people are acting like everyone in the institution and government is running around in a blind panic about how there’s not enough time to plan things. Charles set the Chubbly date himself, and it did not have to be in early May, or on his grandson Archie’s birthday. Charles could have scheduled the Clowning for much later if he so desired. I also think the panic stems from… disorganization and laziness, right? These people are all about busy work – they spent over a year planning the Jubbly, and they needed every single minute. Anyway, the Mail had more updates from the Chubbly planning, including a palace scheme to only invite Prince Harry and only “bring him in” for 48 hours.

Harry in a Hurry: Prince Harry could be whisked in and out of Britain for a 48-hour appearance at King Charles’s Coronation without his wife Meghan, sources said last night. One working theory, dubbed ‘Harry in a hurry’, is that Meghan will remain behind in California to celebrate Archie’s fourth birthday while Harry flies into make a brief appearance at the event on May 6.

The Sussexes’ requirements? It was reported yesterday that both Harry and Meghan would be invited to the ceremony – but it remains unclear whether they will accept in the wake of Harry’s tell-all memoir about Royal infighting…It was suggested that they might accept the invitation if they were given a prominent pew and an undertaking that Harry would not lose his Royal titles.

Diversity takes time! Sources close to the organisers say Charles’s desire to deliver a cut-down and ‘diverse’ Coronation has proved a nightmare for organisers racing against time to complete the arrangements. In addition to the [Church of England] bishops, to match the ‘diversity’ requirement, space would also have to be found for representatives from other faiths.

Space & time constraints: One person involved in the planning said: ‘We need Wembley Stadium, not Westminster Abbey.’ A source said: ‘It would have made more sense to hold the Coronation in the autumn… but Charles was keen to get on with it.’

[From The Daily Mail]

This might be one of my new favorite sub-genres of royal reporting: courtiers whining about how they don’t have enough time, space or intelligence to properly plan a Chubbly party which NO ONE WANTS. Charles could have had a simple, pared-down coronation – he has chosen not to. He could have set the date in the summer or fall, to give people enough time to plan and prepare – but he wanted his big fancy Chubbly party right away! He could have called his son and offered a warm invitation to Harry, Meghan and Charles’s two mixed-race grandchildren. He has not, instead choosing to allow his courtiers brief the Mail about plans to grab Harry for a 48 hours, not invite Meghan or the kids and treat them all like they’re disposable.

(Now that being said, if the Sussexes are invited, I hope Meghan and the kids stay in California too. They treated Meghan like a hostage at QEII’s funeral and I hope she simply opts out of all of it.)

Photos courtesy of Avalon Red, Cover Images.

Of all the things to happen over the past decade, I honestly didn’t predict that Britain’s national media would become so pathetically obsessed with two people who left the UK over three years ago. Like, did anyone think the entire British media would turn into full stalkers, constantly thinking, writing and obsessing about the Duke and Duchess of Sussex? Not just that, but the British media is obsessed with Britsplaining America and American celebrity to their readers, and they’re trying to convince everyone that Harry and Meghan are what? Deeply unpopular in California, and thus America will “force” Harry and Meghan to go back to the UK? Why must these delusions be paraded out for all to see? So, there’s yet another story about how the Sussexes are “unpopular” in America. “Is America’s love affair with Harry and Meghan over? Sussexes’ star ‘is waning in Hollywood power circles’ following release of Netflix series and the Duke’s memoir Spare.” Imagine being this pathetically obsessed.

More concerning for the couple might be speculation by royal commentators that the couple are not being booked for high-profile events because of their profile.

American royal expert Kinsey Schofield told the Times: ‘I work with several publicists in LA and they say that Harry and Meghan aren’t considered for high-profile events because the fear is that all eyes will be on them and that will take away from the cause. I think people are starting to hesitate in associating with them because they seem to be a dramatic pair that fixates on the negative.’

This focus on ‘the negative’ is something Prince Harry and Meghan Markle may have to change if they want to change their backslide in the polls, with revelations within the pages of Spare thought to be a large factor in a drop in support for the whole royal family, in the US and the UK.

Spare became the fastest-selling non-fiction book of all time on the day of its release earlier this month, topping sales charts around the world – including in the US, according to its publisher.

[From The Daily Mail]

The article also cites Harry and Meghan not being “invited” to that Oprah event, which was actually an event for a beauty brand. That’s what they’re clinging to – the Sussexes aren’t joined at the hip with Oprah. As for “Harry and Meghan aren’t considered for high-profile events because the fear is that all eyes will be on them and that will take away from the cause” – the Sussexes know their power, which is why they have their own foundation, which supports charities and NGOs around the world. Every charity would LOVE for the Sussexes to attend one of their fundraisers, but that’s not the model Harry and Meghan are using at the moment.

As I’ve said before, British people and the British media really don’t understand American celebrity culture. The Sussexes already cultivated an air of exclusivity because they aren’t seen at the opening of an envelope, and they’re not making constant appearances at LA events. Meanwhile, event organizers are dying to get the Sussexes at their events – it will be a coup for any organizer to book the Sussexes to attend that awards show or that red carpet.

Photos courtesy of Netflix.

As we discussed, a woman named Sasha Walpole came out over the weekend and gave several paid interviews where she claimed she was the woman who “took Prince Harry’s virginity.” As readers of Spare know, Harry mentioned in passing the loss of his virginity as part of a larger story about dealing with the British media and his father’s staff. At the age of 17 (or so), he was called in to speak to his father’s comms guy, who said there was a story brewing in the British papers. Harry’s mind went to his first sexual romp in a field behind a pub with an “older” woman. He did not describe the woman or how they met or anything like that. He did not give any clues about the woman’s name, her position, her job, her family, nothing like that. It was not a blind item. No one had any idea. In fact, people were still claiming it was Elizabeth Hurley.

Because Harry actually told the story of how HE got his V-card punched, the British papers then decided to pay Sasha Walpole to tell the story in vivid detail, along with some ridiculous whining about how Harry is awful for “outing” her. He never outed her. She outed herself. For money and attention. To make matters worse, Dan Wootton at the Mail devoted his latest column to his unhinged screeching about… Sasha being forced to repeatedly sell her story.

Usually in the hours after a true but unflattering story has been published about the Duke or Duchess of Sussex, journalists are braced for the predictable and inevitable legal threat or whiny statement about some sort of horrific intrusion into their lives. But yesterday there was no missive from Montecito after Sasha Walpole revealed in intimate detail how she took a 17-year-old Prince Harry’s virginity.

The idea that the deluded Duke can ever complain about someone in his life delivering their accurate version of events publicly, thanks to the tissue of half-truths and downright distortions he’s expected us to swallow in recent months, is risible. After all, Harry is now the modern-day version of Lady Whistledown, author of Bridgerton’s anonymous scandal sheet. Private conversations are all noted down for publication at a later date. Ordinary citizens getting on with their lives can be thrust into the spotlight as and when he chooses without any warning.

Happily married mum-of-two Sasha, a respectable private citizen who now works as a digger driver, is one of the many victims of Spare, Harry’s grim autobiography designed to settle scores and make him very rich, to hell with the consequences to anyone else. His revelations of a ‘quick ride’ with an ‘older woman’ who ‘smacked my rump’ prompted an international hunt for then stable girl Sasha’s identity, which was already an open secret in polo circles.

In this cruel new world of social media, Sasha, who is now 40, knew it was only a matter of time before she was rumbled, so wisely decided to control how she revealed her version of events. As woke Harry would likely now say, Sasha, who is actually only two years older than Harry, was claiming back her own narrative after keeping his secret for 21 years.

While Harry might have successfully sought vengeance, especially against his media enemies (full disclosure: he brands me a ‘sad little man’ in the book) and brother Prince William, and have oodles of money to fund his extravagant lifestyle forever more, any veneer of respectability is now gone, meaning he and Meghan will increasingly be treated like bog standard celebrities.

I predict Harry and Meghan’s reputation will only decline further as their proximity to the Royal Family fades and they will be remembered as the embittered and gossipy ex-royals who had the opportunity to modernise the monarchy from within and blew it all.

[From The Daily Mail]

Imagine thinking Hollywood will punish famous people for being confessional and accessible in a bestseller memoir. Are you joking? Studios are probably lining up to buy the rights to Spare. This is curious too: “any veneer of respectability is now gone, meaning he and Meghan will increasingly be treated like bog standard celebrities…” You mean that Harry and Meghan were being treated respectfully and differentially as royals and only NOW, post-Spare, will they be treated like “bog-standard celebrities”? It seems to me like Harry’s complaint was that they were never treated with respect, deference or kindness, which is why they left and now live quiet, private lives.

It’s clear that it’s not enough that the Mail and the Sun paid Walpole for her self-pitying story in graphic detail, those papers also need to blame HARRY for the whole thing. Abuser’s tactic: look what you made me do, you MADE me pay this woman to graphically describe having sex with you when you were only 16 years old. The goals are punishment, embarrassment, degradation, humiliation.

Covers courtesy of The Sun, photos courtesy of Avalon Red.

Leonardo DiCaprio is still on the prowl. He dumped Camila Morrone last year after more than four years together. He dumped her on or around her 25th birthday. He hadn’t had a big breakup like that in a while, obviously, and I think he was surprised by the internet’s wall-to-wall mockery of his now well-known “under 25” rule. This is why Leo’s publicist made a deal with Gigi Hadid’s publicist to make it seem like Leo was – gasp – dating an ancient spinster like Gigi for a few months. Leo was desperate to change the newscycle. It did not last. He and Gigi are over (lol) and Leo is back to his old habits. Those habits include picking up a new girlfriend by the time the Cannes Film Festival rolls around. We’re in prime “Leo is looking for an under-25 official” season. Which is why he’s spent the past few months back into the waiting arms of 20-year-old models and teenage nepo babies. Well, speaking of, Leo was seen getting “cozy” with a 19-year-old and the internet has some feelings.

Leonardo DiCaprio was seen out with a fresh face on Tuesday night as he made an appearance at Ebony Riley’s release party for her new EP.

The 48-year-old Oscar winner was spotted seated next to 19-year-old Israeli model Eden Polani as they soaked up the atmosphere.

Seemingly missing from the event was Leo’s current girlfriend Victoria Lamas, who at 23 is 25 years his junior and almost half his age.

[From The Daily Mail]

People are like “a 50-year-old is getting cozy with A CHILD!” Well, he’s 48 years old (he’ll be 49 in November) and “19 years old” is not a child. I mean, I think of 19-year-olds as “kids” too, but I recognize that 19-year-olds can make their own decisions, vote, go to war, etc. I’m not caping for Leo because I find this gross as well, but I do think people are going a little bit overboard with “an age difference like this is ABUSE!” It’s sort of the wrong framing? It’s creepy, it’s gross, it speaks volumes about DiCaprio’s immaturity and arrested development. But also leave room for all of those 19-year-olds and 20-year-olds to have agency, to make their own decisions and their own mistakes too. Leo’s not baby-trapping these girls (perish the thought) and he’s not ruining their credit scores. I’ve always believed that half of his girlfriends just dated him because they have their own professional agendas, and they know being connected to Leo is a huge boost for their careers.

Leonardo DiCaprio’s girlfriend is so young her high school experience was interrupted by COVID 19.

— Rohita Kadambi (@RohitaKadambi) February 6, 2023

Hoy queremos felicitar a Leonardo DiCaprio (48), que por fin va a poder tener una relación que le dure unos cuantos años porque, por lo visto, está saliendo con Eden Polani, una modelo de DIECINUEVE (19!); Aún tienen seis años de relación por delante.

En serio, qué asco de tipo. pic.twitter.com/glkIakbiai

— Locas del Coño (@Locarconio) February 5, 2023

Leonardo DiCaprio is a nearly 50yo predator. It shouldnt have 2 be put into context that dating a 19 yo/someone 1/2 your age is disgusting. Even if he was dating a 30yo he’d still be 20 years her senior. Men who go down that route know grown women see through their maladapted ass pic.twitter.com/rkXi8g9aFG

— maybe she born w bars maybe iss trauma~typo king (@WocDonnaTartt) February 5, 2023

Photos courtesy of Backgrid, Avalon Red.

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Last summer, Lizzo and boyfriend Myke Wright went red carpet official. Since then, she’s talked about her relationship occasionally, including that that Myke is endgame for her, but they’re a pretty low-key couple. We get a few pap pics for their dinner dates and some Red Carpet shots. And that’s what we got this weekend when Myke and Lizzo made their Grammy debut. They started off at Clive Davis’ Pre-Grammy party where Lizzo wore a blue and black feathery mini dress with garters and wedge boots. She looked amazing, even though I am not a wedge boot person. Her hair and makeup are gorgeous. Myke wore a three-piece tux that possibly could have been tailored slightly better, but he also looked really nice.

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The next night, Myke escorted Lizzo in all her Tangerine Blossom glory to the ceremony itself where she was nominated for five Grammys. They got to sit with Adele and were having the time of their lives throughout the evening. That is, until Lizzo performed About Damn Time and Special and brought down the G-D house. Admittedly, I am a huge fan of Special, but I didn’t think it could get better. Lizzo showed me the error of my ways Sunday when she took us to church.

ABSOLUTE CHILLS: A well-deserved standing ovation in response to Lizzo’s amazing performance at #GRAMMYs pic.twitter.com/HQxLaBvujX

— NowThis (@nowthisnews) February 6, 2023

Lizzo went on to win Record of the Year for About Damn Time. Her speech was lovely and inspiring, it always is. She dedicated it to Prince, thanked “her man” and her family and then gave Beyonce her flowers for inspiring everyone in the room. When Lizzo finished, she turned around and gave her producers such genuine hugs, it made me weepy. I love watching her joy.

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A post shared by Lizzo (@lizzobeeating)

You know who else loves watching Lizzo’s joy? Myke Wright. It’s obvious every time he looks at her. And that makes him A-OK in my book.

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Photo credit: Instagram, Twitter and Getty Images

When the Duke and Duchess of Sussex make staff changes, it’s always a huge headline in the British media. There’s always performative panic and outrage that Harry and Meghan need different people at different times, and that they’re now free to hire whoever they want for different lengths of time. The subtext is always: Meghan is difficult and a terrible boss! Meanwhile, Prince William and Kate are constantly burning through office staff too, and barely a wonky eyebrow is raised. William’s constantly being staffed by Tory political operatives, and Kate can’t keep conscientious and hard-working staff around her because they all head for hills when they see how lazy she is. Last fall, Kate’s private secretary (a lot like “chief of staff”) left for greener pastures. Hannah Cockburn-Logie stepped down soon after QEII died and Kate took her sweet time replacing her. Now it looks like Kate has found a new private secretary, and it’s someone who is unfamiliar with the royal system.

The Princess of Wales, who is looking to “shake things up” at Kensington Palace, has hired a “straight-talking” public relations guru as her new private secretary. Alison Corfield, who masterminded Jamie Oliver’s childhood obesity and free school meals campaigns, will join the palace as Kate’s right-hand woman and most senior aide this month.

Described as “loud” and “persuasive” by those who know her, Corfield’s appointment has been hailed by royal insiders as a “breath of fresh air”. It is understood the princess actively sought out a “different kind of courtier” as she steps up her public work. Corfield will replace Hannah Cockburn-Logie, a diplomat with the Foreign and Commonwealth Office, who left the role last autumn after 2½ years in post.

Known as “Al” to her friends, Corfield, 51, a mother of three and former air stewardess, worked as Oliver’s head of campaigns from 2015 to 2020. She led the marketing strategy for his drive to halve childhood obesity by 2030, improve food education in schools and create “a generational shift in young people’s health”. She has continued to work with Oliver on his free school meals campaign, and has also advised the Irish television chef Clodagh McKenna.

A source who worked with Corfield on Oliver’s campaigns, said: “She’s a ball-breaker, a real straight-talker, very passionate, dynamic and genuinely funny. She makes things happen and will really push things forward at the palace.”

A royal source said: “Alison is an unusual fit. She is a bit out there for Kensington Palace, but there is a move to recruit more modernisers and people with private sector experience, not just civil servants. She will run rings around the courtiers and shake things up a bit.”

A royal source who knows Corfield, said: “She will be a massive breath of fresh air at Kensington Palace. She is loud, tons of fun and full of energy and enthusiasm.”

[From The Times]

LOL, what do you give it? I say she’ll be out of there by next January, if not earlier. If Corfield is really this loud go-getter with lots of experience in the private sector, then she will not enjoy the snail’s pace of Kensington Palace or Kate’s lack of work ethic. Please remember that Kate does not believe that she needs to “step up” or work harder now that she’s Princess of Wales. Kate’s plan was to continue to do f–k all for as long as possible. Given what we’ve seen of her latest awareness-raising campaign, even when Kate works, nothing gets done. It’s just busy-work and vague, insubstantial keenery going nowhere. Corfield will be shocked by how little Kate actually wants to DO.

Photos courtesy of Avalon Red, Backgrid, Cover Images, KP.

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Lizzo’s Dolce & Gabbana at the Grammys was amazing. [RCFA]
Steve-O left a sad note for Bam Margera on Instagram. [Dlisted]
Alison Brie wears “the pagoda shoulder,” which I really dislike. [LaineyGossip]
Wait, you should never ask anyone what they do for a living? [OMG Blog]
People loved Pedro Pascal on SNL. [Pajiba]
What is this outfit?? [Go Fug Yourself]
You will not believe what Noah Cyrus is wearing. [Seriously OMG]
This Harry Styles thing is just so funny. [Just Jared]
Review of Knock at the Cabin. [Jezebel]
Kris Foster suffers from narcolepsy. [Starcasm]
Rita Ora performs on Jimmy Kimmel Live. [Egotastic]
No one’s happy about Beyonce losing AOTY. [Buzzfeed]
Kim Petras defends Sam Smith. [Towleroad]

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This will sound so Americentric, but I’ve always considered Rita Ora more of a “local” British celebrity. She gets a lot of coverage in the British tabloids, where her profile tends to be just above the most famous football WAGs. In America, she’s not really known for her music, she’s just known as a British celebrity who sometimes shows up at American awards shows. That’s my take, maybe I’m wrong! Maybe there’s a thriving American market for all things Rita Ora. I also get that I’m not the target audience for her British GQ cover interview, the bulk of which is just Ora hyping the album she’s recording, which is her vocal love story with Taika Waititi. I think this marriage is a mid-life crisis from Taika, but again, none of this is for me. And that’s fine! Some highlights from GQ:

Her return to music: “I have this presentation I do for everyone I work with, so we’re all on the same page: what’s the language? What’s the purpose? What’s the connection? I tell everyone my journey. [With the album, I’m] capturing this moment in my life where I’m falling in love. There are things I talk about on it, very personal thoughts, about what it took for me to decide on this person, and to commit to him. With this album, I’ve just been very brave and confident…”

She finally owns her masters: “The position I got myself in [is what has changed]: owning my masters and having control creatively. I’m in a different seat on the bus now. I feel like I’m driving it! So now I’ve got this power, why don’t I give it a shot? My confidence grew as a songwriter. I can suggest things in the room and not feel silly about it. I’m way more confident about my ideas and my visions.

The British tabloids write about her differently now that she’s married to Taika: “I had a conversation with my girlfriends about this the other day: 100 per cent. I don’t know if that’s a good thing or a bad thing. I just feel like maybe the world of journalism is thinking, “Now that’s off the cards, what are we going to do?” They’re having a crisis meeting! Once that opportunity is gone, they’re fortunately going to have to write about my work, which is what I’ve always wanted anyway.

The throuple speculation with Tessa Thompson & Taika: “I just chose to not acknowledge that because it’s ridiculous. I think when some things are so absurd, and it’s hard to fathom any sense of it, you just have to ignore it. I’ve taken that approach for a lot of things, because you don’t want to put energy towards something that’s nonexistent. It’s like trying to explain something that didn’t happen means you’re feeding into nothing. Have you ever been in a situation where you’ve had a lot of drinks and everyone’s your best friend? And then the next day you’re like, “I was talking to this person in the smoking area for four hours and I’ve got no idea who they are?” Literally – that [photo] was just a bunch of friends having a good time. They [Taika and Tessa] had a crazy schedule and everyone was letting loose. I love that. Each to their own.

The overwhelming tabloid attention: “Yeah, there have been moments where it’s been unbearable, and I’m like, “Maybe this isn’t worth it.” But you don’t want to give up your dream and everything you’ve done to get to this point for a moment in time that will eventually just move on. You don’t want to bite the bait and ruin everything you’re doing. You’re doing the dream job. I sing for a living. It’s insane. It’s not a normal job.

When she knew Taika was the right person: “When I didn’t feel a change, like my life just became better. We were really good friends for six years, and I went to Australia and we both had separate jobs, and we didn’t really know that many people out there. It was nice to see a familiar face and our universes just collided. That was it.

[From British GQ]

I don’t doubt that the British tabloids can be overwhelming for their local celebrities – the British tabloids are a protection racket and as long as you keep providing them with a steady stream of scantily-clad selfies and romantic drama, they’ll be on your side (sort of). Which brings me to my larger thought: Rita works with the tabloids, correct? Like, you can call it “playing the game” or whatever, but that’s how she’s so well-known – for being in the Daily Mail and the Sun, for her relationships, for her clothes, for her selfies. It feels like she’s convinced Taika to play the game too. As for the throuple thing with Tessa – it was honestly a fun gossip story and they looked like they were having a good time. It also seemed like Marvel made some calls and got Taika to stop f–king around.

Photos courtesy of Avalon Red, Backgrid, Instar and cover courtesy of British GQ.