Back when the Princess of Wales was the Duchess of Cambridge, they spent real money trying to fluff up her busy work and Early Years keenery. I remember the slick, stupid “commercial” which used archive footage of Martin Luther King Jr, Malala and JFK… all to promote Early Years. I remember the pie charts and the haphazard data grab for her Five Big Questions. Real money is being spent to embiggen Kate. It’s like a collective delusion when KP staffers are allowing her to pretend, in full view of the public, that she’s a credible expert in the field of childhood development.

Well, it’s getting even worse now that Kate has Duchy of Cornwall money to burn. Once again, these are resources which should go to supporting existing children’s programs, ensuring that under-5s can have access to nursery schools and early development classes and such. This is money which should be spent on literally studying “baby brains.” Instead, Kate is blowing through money on creepy claymation videos and celeb endorsements for her fakakta Shaping Us campaign.

Our early childhood shapes everything from the way we form relationships to the way we cope with stress. Huge thanks to our Champions for spreading the message! @MrsGiFletcher @Fearnecotton @professorgreen @ugomonye @JaxJones @leahcwilliamson Zara McDermott #ShapingUs pic.twitter.com/uBzBP4eSbI

— The Royal Foundation Centre for Early Childhood (@Earlychildhood) February 1, 2023

Captain Obvious ropes in celebrities to say that the first five years are important. And that’s it. Additionally, the galaxy-brains at Kensington Palace have now started a new Instagram account for “The Royal Foundation Centre for Early Childhood.” It’s full of all kinds of glamour shots of Kate, her eyebrow and her jazz hands.

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Screencaps courtesy of KP video. Additional photos courtesy of Cover Images.

For years following his pseudo-banishment from public life, Prince Andrew was allowed to “keep” one of his favorite honorary military titles, Colonel of the Grenadier Guards. The Grenadier Guards were NOT happy about it and they kept asking for Andrew to be replaced. They even openly suggested that Kate, then the Duchess of Cambridge, take over the position. Then in December, King Charles announced a bunch of honorary military appointments all at once: Kate was given the Irish Guards, William became Colonel of the Welsh Guards and Queen Camilla was given the Grenadier Guards position. What Camilla wants, Camilla gets. This week was her first visit to the barracks.

On Tuesday, the Queen Consort traveled to see the Grenadier Guards, 1st Battalion, at the Lille Barracks in Aldershot, England. The visit was Queen Camilla’s first since becoming Colonel of the celebrated regiment in December 2022, a role that previously belonged to her brother-in-law Prince Andrew.

Camilla, 75, was radiant in red as she met with members of the battalion and their families. The royal voiced her gratitude when commanding officer Lieutenant Colonel Gerald Johnson raised a champagne toast in honor of her first visit, PA reported via The Independent.

“Thank you very much, it has been a pleasure to be here. I look forward to seeing a lot more of you in the future,” Queen Camilla said. She also presented medals, awarding distinctions to 10 soldiers for outstanding service in Iraq last year and two servicemen for length of service, per PA. Lt. Col. Johnson, who sat next to Camilla during a group photo, said it meant much that she visited the regiment just a few weeks after becoming the ceremonial Colonel.

“She was wonderful, and it was a very special moment for us to introduce our new colonel,” he told the outlet. “We found out in early January, and we’re excited that she wanted to come and see us so quickly.”

[From People]

Some say Camilla wore red, some say a pinkish berry. I think it’s supposed to be a berry-ish red, especially given that the Guards’ dress uniform is that distinctive shade of red. She was trying to mimic the color of their dress uniform – I don’t know if she realized that they would all be in fatigues. As for this appearance… well, she’s better than Andrew, I guess, although that’s setting the bar very low. Whenever Camilla does these kinds of events now, I think about how she’s still competing with Diana in her mind. Like, Diana loved events where she got to flirt with soldiers. Diana was great around military men. Camilla is trying to be flirtatious and it’s falling flat a little bit.

PS… I’m pretty sure I’ve seen at least two of these dudes on Masterpiece Theater! And of course they put the soldier with bright red hair in the far back.

Photos courtesy of Avalon Red.

I was quite confused by the Princess of Wales’s visit to the Leeds Market yesterday, because the stated goal was to promote her idiotic Shaping Us awareness campaign, and she apparently wanted to talk to market vendors about their childhood. There was another purpose for the photo-op though – she was unveiling some billboard or something for Shaping Us, and she actually talked to vendors about what they thought of her campaign. Like… they sent her to a market and tasked her with asking working people what they thought of her billboard? Meanwhile, one of the flower vendors was just trying to make a sale and he ended up getting the scoop of the day:

Kate politely ignored a distinct wolf whistle as she made her way through the busy market.

Optimistic florist Neil Ashcroft tried his best to make a sale, giving the Princess his sales patter as she inspected his merchandise before gifting her some of her favourite hyacinths.

“No doubt William will be buying you some red roses,” he said. Mr Ashcroft revealed afterwards that she had replied: “I don’t think he will do.”

The florist, who has run the M&D Flowers in the market for 32 years, lamented failing to make a sale.

“I offered her a discount. I said I would give her a card and knock off the VAT,” he said, but to no avail, although he did enjoy talking to her. “She acted very genuine.”

[From The Telegraph]

I’m surprised she didn’t hiss “he better not get me ROSES.” And if you’re going to send Buttons to a market, give her some cash so she can buy some stuff. These are working people and they’re just trying to earn a living, and Kate’s all “what do you think of my billboard, how did your early years shape you to the florist I see before me?” Buy something or move along, damn it. Speaking of Kate’s busy work, an authentic group of credible Early Years experts has questioned why Kate is sucking up time, money and resources for an awareness-raising campaign:

The Princess of Wales has launched her new early childhood plan in Leeds, but a campaign group has said long-term investment is required instead of raising “awareness”.

The group Practitioners of the Early Years Sector said: “We are well accustomed to MPs and royalty visiting early years settings, praising the invaluable work of practitioners from David Cameron to Gordon Brown and the Queen Consort. But nothing is done. The time has long passed for ‘awareness’. We need action – long-term investment and funding in the early years.”

The group said early years’ centres are “having to close, with staff laid off due to being constantly underfunded and under-resourced…. Childcare providers are having to turn to food charities to provide nutritious meals for children while stagnant government funding still is not being directed to the sector – the paltry government funding of early years that is provided does not cover the provision of any food.”

The group also said that no early years experts were on the team that wrote a key report for the princesses’ Royal Foundation Centre for Early Childhood.

[From Sky News]

Thank you, Practitioners of the Early Years Sector, for speaking the truth. Yet another awareness-raising campaign which does nothing but waste everyone’s time and money, and it’s just busy-work for Kate, it’s just Kate turning up at events in her new frocks and wiglets, mumbling about the Early Years. “The group also said that no early years experts were on the team that wrote a key report for the princesses’ Royal Foundation Centre for Early Childhood” – I could have told you that! The “report” was basically “the early years are important, baby brains are important” and that’s it.

Photos courtesy of Backgrid, Cover Images.

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Kelly Ripa and Mark Consuelos were talking about sex and about their kids on Live! With Kelly and Ryan. I know, I was shocked too (said no one). This time it was Mark initiating the discussion and he was calling out favorite family target: daughter Lola. 21-year-old Lola is living back at home to finish her last semester of college after studying abroad. But she’s developed the habit of walking into her parents’ bedroom any time she sees fit, without knocking first. So Dad put her on blast that if she does it again, she’s going to get an eyeful, and then he officially declared January 31st Freaky Week.

Kelly Ripa and Mark Consuelos have a warning for their roommate.

The couple, who share 25-year-old son Michael, 21-year-old daughter Lola and 19-year-old son Joaquin, revealed that Lola has moved back in with them for her last semester of college after studying abroad—and she’s got a habit of walking into their bedroom without knocking they’d like to break.

“Be warned Lola Conseulos. ‘Cause this week’s freaky week, isn’t it?” Mark quipped during the Jan. 30 episode of Live! With Kelly and Ryan. “Yeah, this is Jan. 30. We’re going to get freaky this week.”

To which Kelly replied with a laugh, “Why this week? Is this historically freaky week?” Mark noted with a smile, “It is now.”

As for what events led up to Lola receiving this NSFW warning? Mark and Kelly explained during the episode that after Lola kept opening their bedroom door without giving warning, Mark had a chat with her.

“I said, ‘Lola, I don’t want you to take this the wrong way,’” he explained. “‘I’m very excited that you are home. We missed you. You are the heart of this family. You’re so funny and you’re just fantastic. But you gotta knock.’”

The couple joked that Lola’s habit is a dangerous game, with Kelly teasing, “Because at this point, anything you walk in on is your problem.” While Mark added with a laugh, “Your fault! Don’t you think she’s been traumatized enough by walking in before?”

[From E! News]

Yeah, I’m totally with Mark and Kelly on this one. There is no reason family members shouldn’t knock before entering a room. Even if you’re the parent, you can knock on your kid’s door. I believe pretty strongly in people being allowed their space. And Kelly’s right, most kids only ever need to walk in at the wrong time once. What’s odd is it sounds like this might be a change in Lola’s behavior. As if she studied abroad and learned not to knock on doors before entering a room. Maybe she forgot who her parents are? Because the rest of us know how often they like to get down, I have to believe the Consuelos children know even better than we do. I mean, what does Lola think she’ll find behind her parents closed bedroom door? Unless they close that sucker all the time and Lola was trying to slip in to steal some of her mom’s shoes or something, I don’t know what she was thinking. And she’ll be thanking her dad later, because no roommate would tolerate that.

As for Freaky Week, I’m here for it. I didn’t have it on my calendar though, so I’m a little behind. Is it cool if I just pick up from here (I’m a little tired for a full-freak). What if I just tape some Enter At Your Own Risk signs to our bedroom door and toss a pair of high heeled boots on the floor to suggest I’m participating in Freaky Week – do I still get credit?

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Ozempic and similar medications have been the celebrity weight loss open secret for months now. Celebs don’t really admit to being on a diabetes drug for vanity reasons, but some apparently go on it by accident and others say they don’t use it at all. And more stories are coming out about the side effects. There’s “Ozempic face,” which is the sunken, gaunt look from rapid and unnecessary weight loss. And now doctors are warning of its capacity for rebound weight gain after stopping injections.

While Ozempic and Wegovy are creating a lot of buzz as weight loss aids, doctors and patients are also discussing the “rebound weight gain” that can occur if the medication is stopped.

Ozempic — prescription medication for type 2 diabetes — and Wegovy — prescription medication for clinical obesity — are brand names for semaglutide, which works in the brain to impact satiety. Taken once a week by injection in the thigh, stomach or arm, the medications have recently been trending on social media and in Hollywood circles as some people have used it for weight loss, even though they don’t have diabetes or clinical obesity.

A study in the Journal of Pharmacology and Therapeutics found that a majority of people who take semaglutide gain most of the weight back within a year of stopping the medication, which can be difficult to control.

“We’re seeing a lot of patients have this rebound weight gain, and it can really be devastating,” Dr. Karla Robinson, a Charlotte, North Carolina-based family physician, told NPR.

Ania Jastreboff, M.D., PhD., an obesity medicine physician scientist at Yale University, tells PEOPLE that for those who use drugs like Wegovy or Ozempic, they have to continue taking the medications if they want to maintain the weight loss because diabetes and obesity are chronic conditions.

“[Expecting a patient with chronic obesity to lose weight through willpower] is akin to having a patient with diabetes and thinking that they can concentrate really hard to bring their blood sugars down,” Jastreboff continued. “You can’t do that, and with obesity, our patients can’t use their prefrontal cortex for the rest of their lives to impact every morsel of food that they eat. So, it’s not in our control. Once that set point is elevated, you need treatment.”

Content creator and model Remi Bader recently shared her own experience with Ozempic and how her weight rebounded after stopping the drug. She said her doctor prescribed her the medication in 2020 because she was pre-diabetic, insulin resistant and gaining weight.

However, Bader said on an episode of the Not Skinny But Not Fat podcast that it wasn’t the best treatment for her as it eventually worsened her binge eating, which she’s struggled with for years. She explained that although she was able to lose weight from the medication, when she stopped taking it her binge eating immediately returned.

“I saw a doctor and they were like, it’s 100% because I went on Ozempic,” Bader continued. “It was making me think I wasn’t hungry for so long, I lost some weight. I didn’t wanna be obsessed with being on it long term. I was like, I bet the second I got off I’m gonna get starving again. I did, and my binging got so much worse. So then I kind of blamed Ozempic.”

[From People]

I’d seen the comments from Remi Bader about her rebound weight gain after taking Ozempic before I learned what Ozempic was. And I saw something from another content creator (whose name/handle escapes me) who openly discussed taking Ozempic and shared that she still ate while on it, but tiny, toddler-sized portions because she simply wasn’t hungry. So it makes sense that anyone who takes it and then stops will return to their normal, pre-medication appetite levels. It sounds like how when I’m not feeling well I’m not that hungry, but when I feel better I’m so hungry as if I’m making up for the past few days of diminished appetite. It makes sense that people would need to keep taking these different injections for maintenance if they have chronic conditions, but in my opinion the side effects don’t seem worth it if you’re just looking to lose 15 pounds or so. It’s like crash dieting to fit into a certain outfit, it works, but you gain the weight back once you start to eat normally again. Not to advocate for crash dieting, but it sounds like a better option than celebs getting medically unnecessary injections to lose a few pounds.

Photo note by CB: As mentioned above Remi Bader is an influencer who has been open about her post-Ozempic weight gain. Chelsea Handler has claimed not to know that her doctor was giving her Ozempic injections.

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Dave Bautista is a pro-wrestler turned professional actor, with a real filmography full of quality directors and hit films. He’s got Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 3 coming out later this year, and he’s been working on Dune Part II for the better part of the past year. These are photos of Dave last night at the Knock at the Cabin premiere in New York last night – he’s the villain, I guess, although I don’t really know the story (I’ve only watched the trailers). He’s added M. Night Shyamalan to the list of directors who adore him. But the director he really wants to work with? Nancy Meyers or Richard Curtis. Yes, Dave Bautista would love to be the lead in a romantic comedy.

Dave Bautista’s filmography spans comic book movies (“Guardians of the Galaxy”), science-fiction tentpoles (“Dune,” “Blade Runner 2049”), action comedies (“Stuber”) and family movies (“My Spy”). One genre that’s missing is the romantic comedy, but that’s not been a deliberate choice. Bautista told Page Six that he’d love to star in a rom-com but he’s never gotten a single offer to do so. Not one.

“I know I’m not your typical rom-com lead,” Bautista said. “I’m a little rough around the edges. But I always, you know, I look in the mirror and I say, I ask myself, ‘Am I that unattractive? Is there something that unappealing about me that excludes me from these parts?’”

“I don’t know,” Bautista added. “It’s just never come my way. I’ve never had an offer to do a rom-com. I still have high hopes. I’ll just keep searching.”

[From Variety]

There’s a lot of “give Dave a rom-com, you cowards” going around… but I kind of understand why he hasn’t gotten those scripts? It’s the kind of situation where you’d probably need a screenplay to be tailored specifically for Dave’s strengths and whole… thing. Like, no, he’s not getting the same scripts as Chris Pine or Channing Tatum, but in the right part, Dave would probably do a very good job. Mindy Kaling should write something for him? Something where he falls for an Indian girl.

Photos courtesy of Backgrid.

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Willie Nelson is famous for a few things. His career: he’s a prolific country song writer who’s enjoyed a 50-year career. His infamy: he had nearly all his assets seized by the IRS in the 90s and to pay his fines Willie released a double album called The IRS Tapes: Who’ll Buy My Memories. His durability: Willie’s almost a century old and still performing and given his past drug and alcohol abuse, it’s astounding. And he absolutely adores marijuana. Willie was arrested multiple times for pot before it was legalized and has never shied away from letting the world know he smokes it. Gearing up for his big 90th birthday celebration he is once again talking about his love of marijuana. Willie said that weed kept him from drinking himself to death and more importantly, hurting anyone else. Willie, who is not sober but rarely drinks anymore, used to drink heavily. And it wasn’t until he learned the joy of pot that he was able to give up his dependency on booze and live a mellower existence.

The country music legend is turning 90 on April 28, and, to properly celebrate his milestone birthday, he’s headlining a two-day concert in Los Angeles. “Long Story Short: Willie Nelson 90,” will take place April 29 and 30 at the Hollywood Bowl, and feature performances by Nelson, Kacey Musgraves, Chris Stapleton, The Chicks, Sheryl Crow, Snoop Dogg and many more artists.

And before the star-studded event, Nelson is pre-gaming by releasing a new studio album—he’ll drop I Don’t Know A Thing About Love on March 3—and the iconic singer-songwriter also teamed up with Snoop Dogg and Martha Stewart for a new BIC EZ Reach lighter campaign that gives a fiery wink to Nelson and Snoop’s shared love for marijuana.

As for his well-documented love of marijuana, “Well, it not only saved my life, it probably saved some other people’s lives,” he explained, “because before I smoked marijuana, I was drinking a lot. And I might have killed a lot of people, too. So I’m just glad that that didn’t happen. I’m glad we live through all of bad times.”

Prior to teaming up for their BIC EZ Reach lighter ncommercial with Stewart, Nelson and Snoop Dogg had been friends for quite some time, with Nelson reflecting on one of their hangouts in Amsterdam. “Oh, we had so much fun trying to out smoke the other one,” he said, going on to reveal the two had even begun working on a song together. But, he admitted, “I’m not sure we ever finished it or not!”

[From E! News]

Willie stopped smoking pot a few years ago, around the time he was diagnosed with emphysema. Prior to that, a combination of smoking cigarettes and weed did considerable damage to Willie’s lungs, including collapsing one in Hawaii in the 80s. At that time, he gave up cigarettes so he could keeping smoking pot. It’s unclear if he went back to smoking pot or if he gets his weed in other forms now, but he rarely drinks. I’m not sure how Willie’s pot use saved lives exactly. By that I mean, I don’t know if Willie drove drunk, but he doesn’t drive while stoned, or if he experienced Red Mist when he drank too much. According to an interview Willie gave in 2019, it sounds like the latter. The end result is that he found a more peaceful experience with marijuana and that saved him from whatever demons alcohol brought out. I know drug counselors have thoughts about swapping one drug for another, but it doesn’t sound like Willie was a full-blown alcoholic if he’s still drinking in moderation today. Since the crowd Willie hung with in the 70s was more of a coke and whiskey sort, the fact that he fell in love with pot is a good thing.

Willie said he keeps healthy through diet and exercise. Huh, 90-year-old country music icons, they’re just like us! He’s a fifth-degree black belt in Gongkwon Yusul and was boasting to E! about keeping his weight down. Willie seems to have things figured out. He’s made his peace with his health and, as has been mentioned a few times, he’s about to turn 90. I never had a problem with his pot use before but finding out that it improved his life and the lives of those around him makes me happier for all involved, I guess. I like Willie. I just want good things for him.

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A helpful explainer for the Paul Mescal-Phoebe Bridgers drama. [Pajiba]
Most brands’ Australian Open tennis kits were kind of boring, but I can’t believe Aryna Sabalenka won in Nike’s terrible kit. Congrats to Big Lenka though! [GFY]
I agree with this take on the Ben Affleck/J.Lo/J.Garner dynamic. [LaineyGossip]
Rest in peace, Cindy Williams. [Dlisted]
I genuinely thought Eiza Gonzalez was Katharine McPhee in this pic. [RCFA]
Malia White could be a Below Deck captain soon! [Starcasm]
I was expecting wall-to-wall shenanigans but some of this Stephane Rolland collection is actually kind of great? [Tom & Lorenzo]
More photos of Angelina Jolie looking amazing in Paris. [JustJared]
Ron DeSantis has banned Black history in Florida. [Towleroad]
Lottie Moss got a face tattoo & a boyfriend in Bali. [Egotastic]
I’m also a fan of the big, loose t-shirt. [Gawker]

The Daily Mail could not make it any clearer that they are in charge, they are the monarchy and they can order King Charles to do whatever they want. That’s what happens when Charles made this deal with the devil – the devil has a pretty significant payment plan. Currently, the Mail is trying to publicly dictate to Charles that he cannot invite the Duke and Duchess of Sussex to the coronation. I suppose the play, for the Mail, is that they are desperate to write a million stories about Charles “banning” Harry and Meghan for REASONS, reasons which they will detail at length for months! What’s curious is that Charles continues to make noise about how he plans to invite Harry to the Chubbly anyway. So… because Charles isn’t doing what the Mail wants, they’re yanking his chain. Publicly. The Mail dropped this story on Monday, in addition to multiple screeds about how Charles needs to ban Harry: “Eco warrior King Charles took two 112-mile helicopter trips in 24 hours to attend opening of new Africa centre in London where he talked about climate change.” Ouch. Coming for Chuck’s eco credentials huh.

King Charles took two helicopter trips in 24 hours to open the new Africa Centre in London where he discussed the effects of climate change. The Monarch opted to fly the 112 miles from the Royal Sandringham estate in Norfolk to London, where he joined in a discussion about how the effects of climate change in Africa could be mitigated. It is estimated his total journey of 224 miles would have used hundreds of gallons of aviation fuel.

A Notice to Air Missions was issued on January 26 for a No Flight Zone between Sandringham and London from 11.15am to 12.50pm. The period allowed enough time for the Royal helicopter to make the flight for his visit to the new cultural hub in Southwark. Another NOTAM was then issued for his 45-minute return journey to Sandringham between 11am and 12.40pm the next day.

Buckingham Palace told MailOnline the decision was taken for helicopter to be used to minimise disruption for any other people. A spokesperson said: ‘Royal Travel seeks to find the best balance of security, efficiency, and the need to minimise disruption for others when planning transport for His Majesty’s busy programme.’

Last summer it was revealed that Charles and Camilla took more than 40 private flights between them in 2021 to travel around the UK and Ireland, including to the UN Climate Conference COP26 in Glasgow. Private planes and helicopters use 10 to 20 times the carbon emissions of a normal plane, a train, or an electric car. One tonne of carbon emissions is the equivalent to driving the circumference of the Earth one time.

[From The Daily Mail]

These helicopter stories can be written at any time about anyone. Prince William and Kate have overused helicopters for years, as has Charles. They are wasteful and terrible people who rarely get called out on their excessive and stupid helicopter use. What’s curious is… why this headline this week? Why Charles and… not William? Because William was also in Norfolk this past weekend, and y’all know he didn’t go back and forth on the train. It’s certainly curious that the Mail isn’t worried about the Waleses’ helicopter travels, huh?

Photos courtesy of Avalon Red.

It’s been more than a month since the Sun published Jeremy Clarkson’s violent screed against the Duchess of Sussex, wherein Clarkson described his fantasy of stripping Meghan naked and marching her down the street so people could throw feces at her. Remember, Clarkson said everyone his age agreed with him. He wrote that right after he had lunch with Queen Camilla, his good friend. Camilla was reportedly quite angry… that she was being dragged right alongside Clarkson. Well, Clarkson has a new column at the Sun: “Royal magic is waning, but it is still the best option.” Clarkson almost edges up to an uncomfortable truth, but of course he finds a way to back away from it.

When I was younger, big royal events came along only once in a blue moon. We had the Silver Jubilee in 1977 and Charles and Diana’s wedding in 1981 then after that, nothing. There was more monarchy-based pageantry in North Korea. Now, though, it feels like we are breaking out the bunting and the plastic flags every other weekend. It’s a constant stream of weddings, funerals and jubilees. And it’s not over yet because in May, there’s a Coronation.

It must be a nightmare for the organisers, because how do they make it feel different? And bigger. And better. Fly-pasts down the Mall? Done that. Put Brian May on the roof of the Palace? Done that as well. Soldiers marching up and down? Been doing that for centuries.

Whatever they come up with, though, it’d better be good. Because I have a sneaking feeling there won’t be another Coronation after this one. It’ll be the last.

For many years, there have been questions about the Royal Family. People have said it costs too much and that it’s stupid to have a hereditary head of state. And now, of course, those questions are getting louder. People are saying that thanks to Prince Andrew and Harry’s book, the whole royal thing is broken, that you could take it down to Jay Blade’s Repair Shop barn but the experts would be forced to conclude that all of the king’s horseman and all of the king’s men couldn’t possibly put it back together again.

I see their point. The monarchy is built on a foundation of mysticism. It derives its magic powers from forces we don’t understand. It’s an institution built on fairy dust. And that is lost somewhat when they’re all falling in dog bowls and, like Prince Andrew, giving money to girls they’ve never met.

[From The Sun]

Ah, don’t you see? People don’t respect the monarchy anymore because of Prince Andrew and Prince Harry! Not the other Windsors, the ones sitting on a billion-dollar empire and going empty-handed to foodbanks. Of course not. And Harry didn’t “fall in a dog bowl” – he was violently assaulted by his brother. William threw Harry to the ground, leaving cuts and bruises. Anyway, Clarkson ends his column with the acknowledgement that “The Australians and Canadians will then excuse themselves, along with most of the rocky islands dotted round the world’s oceans, and then we’ll have a vote here. And everyone will decide they’d rather have an elected president.” Then Clarkson suggests that after Britain elected a president, it will be some reality show buffoon and then, magically, everyone will want William and Kate to be king and queen. As I said, Clarkson almost admitted something real, but then he bungled it. Oh well.

Photos courtesy of Avalon Red, Cover Images, Instar and Backgrid.