A few weeks ago, we discussed the story of Miley Cyrus neglecting to properly clean her Persian kitty’s eyes. Then I had to take a break from looking at her Instagram account. Miley’s pepperoni bedspread, psychedelic Photoshop mashups, and the poor cat’s crusty eyes were all too much. I do remember wondering what happened to Bubba Sue, the piglet Miley adopted 10 months ago. The answer to this pressing question can be found on the cover of Paper magazine’s summer issue.

You only thought Miley reached her stuntqueening apex by popping a squat or riding a wrecking ball. Miley keeps insisting that she’s more than nudity and not simply someone who shakes it onstage. Then she begs for attention by taking it off with her pig, who looks bewildered. There’s no other reason for slathering herself with mud and posing like this on a magazine cover.

I’d like to give Miley credit for unapologetically owning her sense of self, but Paper is the same magazine who tried to break the internet with Kim Kardashian’s rear. Miley knew what she was doing. Paper has released one interview excerpt so far:

“I was doing a show two nights ago, and I was wearing butterfly nipple pasties and butterfly wings. I’m standing there with my t*ts out, dressed like a butterfly. How the f*** is that fair? How am I so lucky?”

[From Paper]

Miley makes it too easy sometimes, and she’s also exhausting. I can’t imagine always needing to shout from the rooftops about mah boobs. Officially, Miley is promoting her Happy Hippie foundation with this cover, but no one will notice her charitable efforts with a pose like this. Sure, the cover gets Miley attention. It’s also counterproductive to her cause.

Here’s an oldish (from March) photo of Miley’s wax statue at Madame Tussauds in Vegas. This seemed like a good time to revisit the ol’ wrecking ball.

Photos courtesy of Paper magazine & WENN

In February, Caitlyn Jenner was involved in a multi-car accident on the Pacific Coast Highway which resulted in one fatality. A three car pileup occurred in which Jenner’s vehicle, an Escalade towing an ATV, rear-ended the car in front of her. Here’s CNN’s description of the accident: “The first vehicle was a black Toyota Prius… Behind it was a white Lexus sedan that also hit its brakes.

Jenner’s Escalade was towing a trailer with an all-terrain vehicle on it when it ran into the Lexus from behind, Brooks said. The Lexus spun into oncoming traffic and was hit by a Hummer H2. The driver of the Lexus was killed.”

TMZ reports that Jenner was driving under the speed limit when the accident occurred. She was also smoking at the time, not texting as was widely reported. Around that time, Jenner issued a statement expressing sympathy toward the victim’s family and saying, in part, that she was praying for the family and could not “pretend to imagine” what they were going through.

Jenner did not address the accident during her interviews with ABC or Vanity Fair due to pending litigation from the victim’s family. She was sued for wrongful death in April by two stepchildren of the deceased. Now Jenner has been sued again by another victim of the crash, the Prius driver. Radar online has more details, including the court documents, which state that the plaintiff was injured and suffered medical and personal expenses.

As Radar reports, Jenner’s insurance only covers $250,000 worth of damages and she has not faced charges for the accident. (TMZ has claimed that this is unlikely.)

In other news about Caitlyn, she’s reportedly pitching various reality and television shows that are “based on various angles of transgender awareness.” She’s not going to do a KUWTK spin off at all, she’s going her own way. After all, she learned from the best.

Also, Clint Eastwood made a dismissive/arguably transphobic comment about Caitlyn while he was presenting at the Spike TV Guy’s Choice Awards. He was introducing The Rock when he compared him to other athletes turned actors, like “Jim Brown and Caitlyn somebody.” Those remarks will be cut from the broadcast when it airs. This is the same dude who talked to a chair for ten minutes on stage. It’s not like he’s known for being witty or appropriate.

photos credit: Annie Leibovitz/Vanity Fair

Jerry Seinfeld appeared on ESPN’s The Herd with Colin Cowherd to promote the sixth season of his web series, Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee. I haven’t watched much of the series because Seinfeld isn’t my cup of comedy. The Chris Rock episode was rather illuminating, but I’m partial to the passenger. Seinfeld and Rock are good friends. At some point, they must have spoken together about college comedy tours. Rock previously discussed in an essay how he won’t tour colleges because they’re too sensitive “in their social views and their willingness not to offend anybody.”

This is where I disagree with Rock. Plenty of college students are anything but sensitive. Rock went on to say George Carlin agreed with him, which is odd because Carlin toured colleges until he was 70. Carlin didn’t bend his humor for anyone. But Jerry is super upset that all the political correctness these days is affecting his ability to be gut-bustingly funny:

Does politicial correctness hurt comedy? “Yes it does.”

Stand-up comics stay away from colleges now: “I hear that all the time. I don’t play colleges but I hear a lot of people telling me they’re so PC.”

Kids these days are too sensitive: “Let me give you an example. My wife says to [my 14-year-old daughter], ‘Well, you know, in the next couple of years, I think you’re going to want to be hanging around the city more on the weekends, so you can see boys.’ And you know what my daughter says? She says ‘that’s sexist.’ They just want to use these words. That’s racist. That’s sexist. That’s prejudice.’ They don’t know what the [bleep] they’re talking about.”

[From YouTube]

Well I do agree that the PC crowd can go overboard at times. It can be difficult to gauge an audience, especially because humor is so subjective. But it’s crappy for Jerry to discount his daughter’s feelings on the word “sexism.” Jerry isn’t a woman. He’s not a member of a marginalized class, and I hope he’s not pooh-poohing his daughter’s feelings to her face. It’s not his place to tell someone else how they should feel.

The problem with Jerry’s complaint about PC audiences, ultimately, is that he’s not all that funny. Even on Seinfeld, Jerry was the least amusing member of the ensemble cast. Now he’s pouting because he can’t tell the non-PC jokes that would let him be great. This reminds me of Louis CK’s recent SNL monologue, which was offensive to many because Louis insisted upon being “edgy.” If Jerry thinks it’s so hard to work around PC audiences, maybe he needs to realize his jokes aren’t awesome in the first place.

You can listen to Jerry’s ESPN clip here.

Photos courtesy of WENN

View image | gettyimages.com

This ^^ is a photo from 2006. The lady is Emma Pernald and the gentleman is Jonas Bergstrom. At the time, Emma was Prince Carl Philip’s long-term girlfriend and Jonas was Princess Madeleine’s boyfriend. Just a few years after this photo, Emma and Carl Philip were over, as were Madeleine and Jonas. Madeleine went on to marry Christopher O’Neill (who seems like an utterly boring Wall Street-type), and Carl Philip will marry Sofia Hellqvist next weekend. Sofia and Carl Philip officially began in 2008, after he and Emma split. Unofficially? There might have been some overlap.

Why this trip down memory lane? Emma and the Swedish prince were together for many years. Emma was sort of Carl Philip’s Kate Middleton – Emma stuck around for 10 years, possibly waiting for the ring. I believe Emma and Carl Philip lived together and had a low-key life for much of their relationship. But he ended up wanting something different, so he got with Sofia and Sofia got the ring. And ahead of Carl Philip’s wedding, he and Sofia did a big interview in which he claimed that this is the first time he’s ever felt “the magic of love.” Emma took issue with that. Emma took issue with that PUBLICLY.

It isn’t always easy seeing an ex get married – especially when that ex happens to be royalty. Prince Carl Philip of Sweden is set to marry fiancée Sofia Hellqvist on June 13, and the 36-year-old royal has been gushing about his bride-to-be. In an interview with Swedish channel TV 4, Carl Philip said he didn’t know “the magic of love” before he met 30-year-old Sofia.

“Ever since I met her, I’ve seen how love can change a person,” he said.

While the sentiment was sweet, there was one person who wasn’t exactly thrilled to hear Carl Philip’s proclamation of love – his ex Emma Pernald, whom he dated for 10 years before breaking it off in 2008.

“It was strange to hear that,” Pernald said about Carl Philip’s comments to Swedish publication Aftonbladet (via Hello). “I felt love in the 10 years that we shared together.”

Pernald, who now works as a PR executive, was famously tight-lipped about the pair’s royal romance after their split. The pair reportedly remain on friendly terms, “strange” comments or not.

Still, it’s hard not to be happy for someone about finding love again. Margareta Gotthardsson, royals reporter at Svensk Damtidning, tells PEOPLE: “I think the palace was happy for the prince being in love again after his breakup with his ex, Emma Pernald. When you see the prince and Sofia together, it’s obvious that they are very much in love. It’s impossible not to be happy for them.”

[From People]

Well, that was… controlled. That’s how I sound when I’m seething with rage – I get strangely calm and I speak in short sentences. “It was strange to hear that. I thought we loved each other. I guess I hope she makes him happy. I definitely hope they both burn in hell.” Poor Emma. If only she had a mother like Carole Middleton, she would have figured out a way to waity a ring out of him!

View image | gettyimages.com

Photos courtesy of Getty, WENN.

Here are more photos from the Jolie-Pitt family’s big LAX trip over the weekend. Apparently, the family has decamped to France, possibly for the summer. They took a flight from LAX to Paris, then another flight from Paris to Nice. They apparently flew coach on AirFrance on the Paris-to-Nice leg of the trip. According to all of the eyewitnesses, the kids were well-behaved throughout. No tantrums, no diva ‘tudes, no drama. Honestly, all of those kids have flown internationally since they were babies. They know the drill at this point. Still, it’s nice to note when celebrity children are NOT little d-bags.

Angelina Jolie seems to truly have the summer off – she has no projects on the horizon, to act in or direct, although I’m sure she’s still in post-production for By the Sea. I’m assuming Brad has completed his part in The Big Short (an ensemble film), and he won’t film World War Z 2 until later this year or maybe even 2016. Meanwhile, Deadline just announced that one of Brad’s upcoming projects, the film adaptation of Michael Hastings’ book The Operators, will be heading to Netflix. You heard that correctly.

Netflix has acquired distribution rights to War Machine, the David Michod-directed drama which will star Brad Pitt as a four-star rock star U.S. military general. The character is patterned after Gen. Stanley McChrystal, for a time the commanding general of international and U.S. forces in Afghanistan. The film is a satirical comedy inspired by the bestselling book The Operators: The Wild And Terrifying Inside Story Of America’s War In Afghanistan, by the late journalist Michael Hastings. Script was written by Michod, whose credits include Animal Kingdom and The Rover. Pitt and his Plan B cohorts Dede Gardner and Jeremy Kleiner will produce with Ian Bryce.

This picture package was on Deadline’s list of his Cannes titles, but Pitt and his reps have for several weeks been down the road with Ted Sarandos and his Netflix cohorts on an alternative strategy. With this deal, Sarandos has an opportunity to make the kind of seismic move in features as he did with TV series like House Of Cards. This will be the biggest investment Netflix will have made so far in a feature film, in the $30 million range. It is also the first time Netflix has really gotten hold of a film with one of the biggest global A-list movie stars, in his prime, along with his producing cohorts whose recent credits include Best Picture winner 12 Years A Slave and Best Picture nominee Selma.

Plan B acquired the Hastings book last year and originally it seemed like a straight nonfiction film. It has instead been turned into a fictionalized satire. The book captured McChrystal in his cocky glory, and focused on the backrooms and politics of war and the high-stakes maneuvers and political firestorm that shook the country. Hastings, who followed McChrystal around Europe and Afghanistan for a month in 2010 for a Rolling Stone article, quoted the general badmouthing the White House and its handling of the war. That proved to be his undoing; after Rolling Stone published the article “The Runaway General,” McChrystal was ordered back to D.C. by President Obama, and McChrystal tendered his resignation there.

Said Pitt: We are so excited to be a part of the inspiring commitment by Netflix to produce cutting-edge content and to deliver it to a global audience.”

[From Deadline]

Deadline has more analysis of why this is such an unusual and interesting move – apparently, there will still be a limited theatrical release or something like that, just in case the movie is really great and they want to wage an Oscar campaign, but they’re expecting the bulk of the viewership to come from Netflix streaming. As for the story… it sounds interesting. I covered it when Brad signed on to the film, and I still think it’s a really bold move for Brad as an actor.

Photos courtesy of Fame/Flynet.

Prince Harry was at a charity polo match last weekend. There was a party afterwards. And now these pictures of him with actress Jenna Coleman have been released – click here to see. Is that what it looks like when Harry’s making the moves on someone? I mean there’s Photo Assumption and then there…      

Prince Harry was at a charity polo match last weekend. There was a party afterwards. And now these pictures of him with actress Jenna Coleman have been released – click here to see. Is that what it looks like when Harry’s making the moves on someone? I mean there’s Photo Assumption and then there…      

Prince Harry was at a charity polo match last weekend. There was a party afterwards. And now these pictures of him with actress Jenna Coleman have been released – click here to see. Is that what it looks like when Harry’s making the moves on someone? I mean there’s Photo Assumption and then there…      

Mimi makes a new friend and shows off her best side. (Excuse my ignorance, every side is Mimi’s best side!)

Dinner @ L’Avenue with designer Olivier Rousteing of Balmain, my new handsome friend! ????

A photo posted by Mariah Carey (@mariahcarey) on

Ju…      

Mimi makes a new friend and shows off her best side. (Excuse my ignorance, every side is Mimi’s best side!)

Dinner @ L’Avenue with designer Olivier Rousteing of Balmain, my new handsome friend! ????

A photo posted by Mariah Carey (@mariahcarey) on

Ju…