SPOILERS for this season of The Good Wife

Here are some photos of Archie Panjabi at last night’s premiere of San Andreas. Apparently, she’s in that disaster movie (also starring The Rock). And no, I have no idea who that kid is. To my knowledge, Archie is not a mom, so maybe he’s her nephew? Something like that.

A few weeks ago, we discussed Archie Panjabi’s last episode with The Good Wife. I recapped the whole Archie/Kalinda situation here, complete with theories that Archie was basically pushed out of the show by a vindictive Julianna Margulies. In Archie’s last episode, Kalinda and Alicia (Margulies) were finally in a scene together, their first in years. Only the scene was extremely awkward, and many people thought that the scene had been achieved with stand-ins, greenscreens and CGI. A producer later confirmed those fan theories and said yes, Archie and Julianna weren’t even in the same room at the same time. So when E! caught up with Archie at her premiere last night, of course they asked her about it:

When E!’s own Marc Malkin caught up with Archie at the premiere of her new movie, the summer-blockbuster-to-be, San Andreas, he asked if the actress could clear up rumors that the Good Wife scene was computer generated. Unfortunately for Kalicia lovers everywhere, she couldn’t deny the claims.

“All I can say is this: the decision making process is not something I’m privy to,” she said.

She did admit “it was hard to say goodbye,” but said she knew she was leaving for the last two years.

Archie also shot down any chance of Kalinda returning in the future. “I don’t think so,” she said, adding, “She came in as a mystery and left as a mystery.”

Just for the record, while Archie may not currently plan on returning to the show, creators Robert and Michelle King would be totally thrilled to have her back.

“[The door] is always open,” Robert told us earlier this year. “Are you kidding? Archie Panjabi is one of the most talented actresses we’ve worked with. She’s so good. We would love to have her back.”

Funny enough, Archie revealed that she is in talks with show execs to get to keep some of Kalinda’s signature leather jackets and boots. She smiled, “It would be nice to have some of the pieces.”

[From E! News]

Ugh. I feel sorry for Archie. I feel like she was stuck in her contract, trying to make it work on The Good Wife and Julianna was actively trying to destroy her. The show was always going to be about Alicia, especially when Julianna came on as producer, but I really don’t understand why Julianna threw around her weight so much about limiting the Kalinda character? Star Magazine had a story last week about the root of all these bad feelings: sources claimed Julianna was pissed at Archie because Archie won an Emmy before Julianna won for TGW (Julianna won an Emmy before for ER). Ugh, this makes me think less of Julianna. And it makes me feel sorry for Archie.

Photos courtesy of WENN.

Taylor Swift’s thing with Calvin Harris is actually the longest relationship she’s had in a while. Let’s be generous and say that this has been happening since late February/early March. That’s a solid three-month relationship without Calvin dumping her over the phone, or without Tay-Tay flying all over the place to stalk Calvin. Could this be… a mature relationship?! Well, it’s seemingly more mature than Taylor’s last two relationships, with Harry Styles and poor Conor Kennedy (God, remember how she would sign Conor out of prep school so they could have sex in quaint New England bed & breakfasts?)

Anyway, Calvin and Swifty stepped out last night for a “date night” in NYC. They’ve been photographed together off and on, but it feels like this kind of outing is a new step. The paparazzi frenzy must have been crazy outside of Swifty’s apartment building! They do sort of look like brother and sister too, but I have to say… I’m still sort of into them as a couple. It’s going to be a hot mess when they break up. Here’s what I really wonder: do Olivia and Meredith consider Calvin to be their new daddy? Or is he Uncle Calvin?

Meanwhile, Taylor has made her first appearance on Forbes’ annual World’s Most Powerful Women list. Swifty is the youngest woman on the list and she came in at #65. Oprah was #12, Beyonce is #21, Anna Wintour is #28, Angelina Jolie is #54 and Sofia Vergara is #57. You can see Forbes’ coverage here.

Photos courtesy of Fame/Flynet.

Jessica Alba doesn’t get enough credit for having one of the best – and healthiest-looking – bodies in Hollywood. She really strikes a great balance of looking fit, athletic and lean without ever looking “too skinny” or too bulky. So Alba is an obvious choice for the cover of the newest issue of Shape Magazine. Her body looks amazeballs, but I have qualms about her hair on the cover shot – yikes. As one would expect from Shape Magazine, the conversation is mostly about workouts, body image, confidence and food. I hate myself a little for finding it interesting.

Her athletic body: “I attribute my athletic body to the martial arts, gymnastics, dance, and strength training I did while filming Dark Angel. That’s made me strong and really set the bar.”

She has to work out: “I have to break a sweat or I don’t feel like I’ve gotten anything done. When I only have 30 minutes, I’ll do a series of burpees, mountain climbers, squat jumps, planks, and a few sun salutations. But I’m not going to lie. Working out sucks. Which is why I love taking classes, because I’m surrounded by other people and that keeps me motivated and accountable. These days, I do power yoga with light weights in a 105-degree room, so it’s a mix of hot yoga and strength training. I also spin. The key for me is good music, like 2 Chainz, Lil Wayne, Rihanna, Jay-Z, Beyonce?.”

Motherhood & confidence: “I wasn’t truly confident about my body until I had my daughters, Honor, 7, and Haven, 3. I felt more comfortable in my own skin after they were born. Plus, if I want them to be happy with their bodies, I need to walk the walk.”

Peaceful mind: “When I need to zone out and quiet my mind, I listen to a meditation podcast from the UCLA Mindful Awareness Research Center. Each one is literally just three minutes long, so I can go into a bathroom stall or do it in my car. But I’m really intrigued by Transcendental Meditation. Everyone I know who does TM has this inner peace and a glow. I want that.”

Popcorn addict: “I’m addicted to popcorn. I eat it throughout the day. I’m a scatterbrain with lots of things to do at once, and eating popcorn helps me concentrate. It’s my way of dealing with my mind wandering off.”

[From E! News]

I don’t get the popcorn thing? But maybe that’s because I’m not a grazer. If I grazed on popcorn or nuts or whatever throughout the day, I probably wouldn’t be able to stop. I need real meals, like a delineation between “now I’m eating” and “now I’m not eating.” Otherwise I would just eat constantly.

As for her workouts, that’s why she has such a great body, because she’s doing so many different things. And I admire her for it, because you would have to take me hostage at gunpoint to get me to do hot yoga or 30 minutes of burpees and planks. I’ll just stick to cycling, walking and weight machines, thanks!

Photos courtesy of Shape.

Back in March, Kim Kardashian broke the internet (again) when she debuted her new blonde hair at Paris Fashion Week. It was not a good look. It was not a flattering look. The first version was apparently so dull and lifeless that Kim had to go into a Paris salon to get a better blonde. And even then, she dyed it back to brown-black after a few weeks. She later admitted that her hair was incredibly damaged after her blonde moment, and she was back to wearing a lot of wiglets, weaves and hairpieces. But at some point in her blonde moment, she posed for the cover of Vogue Brazil. These are those covers.

Kim memorably got the cover of American Vogue last year, and a cover for Vogue Australia earlier this year. This is her first Vogue cover as a blonde though. And of course, they did her up like Marilyn Monroe. The extreme closeup is unflattering – it’s too close, too plastic and her face has been too tweaked. It’s like your eyes can’t figure out if you’re looking at a real person or a cartoon, like Kim IS the uncanny valley. The second cover – Kim in the black turtleneck – is much better.

What else is going on with Kim? She and Kanye celebrated their first wedding anniversary on Sunday, and surprisingly enough, they didn’t make a big spectacle of themselves. I think they just stayed in LA and spent time together as a family. Weird, right? Of course, Kim was posting endless throwback photos from her wedding – go here to see her Instagram. A lot of those photos are never-before-seen, especially the photos from the pre-wedding celebration at Valentino’s mansion. There are some genuinely nice photos!

Vogue Brasil pic.twitter.com/8feqO5eHab

— Kim Kardashian West (@KimKardashian) May 26, 2015

Photos courtesy of Vogue Brazil.

I’ve never owned anything by Lilly Pulitzer. That stuff – floral, preppy – is not really my jam. I go for darker, androgynous clothes. But I admire that the House of Pulitzer has stuck to their look and their target audience (preppy, thin, white women). Except there’s trouble at the country club! Lily Pulitzer opened their offices to The Cut (NY Magazine) and a photographer ended up taking some photos of various employee work spaces. And this photo was published on Monday:

Employee at Lily Pulitzer had these awful cartoons hanging in a cubicle. http://t.co/ThdMWooFgd pic.twitter.com/472SHFoCBB

— Jay Yarow (@jyarow) May 26, 2015

The photo showed some drawings over an employee’s work space/cubicle. Both drawings show cartoonish “fat” women, with one saying “Just another day of…Fat White and Hideous. You should probably just kill yourself…” The other drawing is “Put It Down Carb Face.”

The Cut has not taken down the photo, but it’s not like people are mad at The Cut – they’re mad at the employees of Lilly Pulitzer. There’s been a lot of online backlash (specifically on Twitter), and on Tuesday, Jane Schoenborn, Vice President of Creative Communications told E! News:

“These illustrations were the work of one individual and were posted in her personal work area. While we are an employer that does encourage people to decorate their own space, we are a female-dominated company and these images do not reflect our values. We apologize [sic] for any harm this may have caused.”

[From E! News]

I’m sort of all over the place on this. I mean, I’m sure people would bitch at me if they saw my workspace (it’s not like I have “fat jokes” in my workspace, it’s just sort of messy in here), but then again… I’m not inviting anyone to photograph my workspace. To defend this one employee, I think it’s also possible that these cartoons were reminders to stay on a diet, or something like that? You know how some people will put an inspirational weight-loss message on their refrigerator? These cartoons might be like that, only really terrible and offensive. I also think this comes at a bad time for the house of Pulitzer because earlier this year, the Lilly Pulitzer collection for Target was a massive success… except they only did the Target collection in-stores up to a size 14. No affordable Lilly Pulitzer clothing for you in-store, fatty.

Also: I’m not sure why I chose to use Kate Bosworth photos for this post, except that when I searched for “Lilly Pulitzer” images, this is what came up. The Bos and Bella Thorne at the Pulitzer-for-Target launch in April. Well, everyone says Lilly Pulitzer is only for super-skinny WASPs. Kate Bosworth is basically their mascot. The only way this could get any more obvious is if Blake Lively was suddenly seen wearing Lilly Pulitzer.

Photos courtesy of WENN, Lilly Pulitzer.

Before Duchess Kate gave birth, “sources” made sure to diminish our expectations about Kate’s post-baby schedule. We were told that Kate would be taking a lengthy maternity leave with her second child, even more time off than she had after giving birth to Prince George. I’ve been doing my part to manage expectations around here, telling you guys that we probably wouldn’t see Kate until September. But then last week, a curious thing happened. “Sources” went to the Daily Mail and said that royal staffers had been trying to persuade the “prickly princess” to actually get back to work quickly. Kate is said to be quite content as a stay-at-home mother at Anmer Hall, and doesn’t see a need to A) work, B) go back to London or C) run her home when she could just get her mom to do it for her. So, what’s changed? The Queen is apparently not happy with the idea of Kate and the Middletons camping out at Anmer for months on end.

The Duchess of Cambridge is nearing the end of her maternity leave and is set to resume royal duties in June. It is believed that Queen Elizabeth II wants Kate Middleton to be present during her birthday parade June 13.

According to OK UK, Kate Middleton will return to attending public engagements next month — just weeks after giving birth to Princess Charlotte. The Duchess’ maternity leave this time is reportedly shorter than her 39-day leave after having Prince George in 2013.

A source close to the royals said that the queen “thinks a month is more than enough time for Kate to take off before she should return to performing her royal duties.” The source adds, “It’s a huge public event, an incredible pageant carried out by the queen’s personal troops. Kate will be on show for it, dressed up in a smart outfit, with the eyes of the world on her.”

[From IB Times]

I wouldn’t be surprised if the Queen expected Kate to appear at the Trooping the Colour annual parade, and I wouldn’t be surprised if Kate knew that appearance was expected of her without having to be told (off) by the Queen’s staff. So, will Kate show up? Probably. But then it will back to Anmer to rest for another three months while Carole organizes the staff.

Speaking of Carole, The Daily Beast had an interesting addendum to the Daily Mail’s story several weeks ago about how Carole is basically acting as Kate’s butler and chief of staff these days. You can read the full DB piece here – the main gist is that now that Kate has given the royal family their heir and a spare, the Middletons are taking over. The DB notes that Carole’s constant presence shows the Windsors that for Will and Kate, “that it is Middletons first, Windsors second when it comes to which family’s influence is to be more significant in the very youngest of royal lives.” What else? Sources say Prince Charles has only met Charlotte once, when she was just a day old. Carole is expected to live full-time at Anmer for “at least another month.” And here’s a glimpse of what that’s like:

The fact is that Carole’s feet are very much under the table at Anmer, and that she has been quietly masterminding a Royal revolution on the home front. In short, the atmosphere at Anmer Hall is very much more middle class than would ever have been imaginable in a royal home just a decade ago. This is how Kate wants it. And William—although far from being the pushover he is sometimes portrayed as—is wise enough to want what Kate wants. William is more willing to embrace the middle-class values of the Middletons than he is to try to impose his own upper-class way of doing things on them.

Although George was brought up exclusively by family for the first six months of his life, there is now a full-time nanny, Maria Borrallo, on the Cambridge payroll. But she is operating under a very different set of principles of royal nurses of the past. Back then it was starched uniforms and ‘Sir’ and ‘Ma’am’. It’s a much more informal arrangement these days, says one source.

Once again, there is a sense that Kate and William are ringing the changes.

“It’s strictly first-name terms at Anmer Hall,” says one source of the triangular relationship between Kate, her mother, and the nanny. “It’s all very relaxed and self-consciously ‘normal.’”

[From The Daily Beast]

I don’t doubt that staff members are probably on a first-name basis with Carole. But I seriously, seriously doubt that the household staff refer to Will and Kate as “Will and Kate” to their faces. Also: why does everyone forget about poor Jessie Webb? Jessie was William’s old nanny and he forced her out of retirement to take care of George when George was only a few weeks old.

Last thing… Dodgy Uncle Gary Goldsmith is selling his Ibiza mansion, La Maison de Bang Bang. It’s listed for £6.5million, in case you want to own a piece of royal history. This is where the Duchess of Cambridge’s dodgy uncle did blow and banged hookers.

Photos courtesy of WENN.

????

A photo posted by Kylizzle (@kyliejenner) on May 24, 2015 at 6:31am PDT

Kylie Jennera and Tyga hung out in Monaco for Memorial Day weekend. I guess the Kardashian family is done rethinking this relationship for now. Kylie’s also been flashing a gold band around lately, so people are drawing conclusions. That’s exactly what Kylie Kris Jenner wants us to do. We’re supposed to wonder if Kylie and Tyga ran off and eloped, which would never happen in a family where weddings must be televised.

All this girl has ever known is a life of superficiality. Kylie grew up watching her sisters stare into the mirror, so I don’t like to give her a hard time for excessive grooming (though I’ll judge the two-hour showers). Her family has never valued education, despite what Tyga’s grandma thinks. Officially, Kylie is homeschooled. But you know Kris Jenner doesn’t enforce a study plan. Nor are critical thinking skills valued in this family. Now Kylie has revealed herself as a chemtrail conspiracy theorist with this strange tweet:

pic.twitter.com/wea59X0CTk

— Kylie Jenner (@KylieJenner) May 26, 2015

Kylie isn’t alone. NY Mag’s Intelligencer blog calls out several other celebrities who believe airplane condensation trails are made of poisonous chemicals. I wonder if Kylie learned about this theory from her buddy, Jaden Smith, who has a history of spacey ideas.

One of Kylie’s followers suggested that she perform a TED Talk on chemtrails. I think this was a serious statement. Kylie certainly took it seriously. Oh brother.

@robfee I’d do it. Ctrails to me are the easiest of all the things going on in the world for my followers to understand

— Kylie Jenner (@KylieJenner) May 26, 2015

Monaco ????

A photo posted by Kylizzle (@kyliejenner) on May 24, 2015 at 6:24am PDT

Photos courtesy of Kylie Jenner on Twitter, Kylie Jenner on Instagram, Fame/Flynet & WENN

You may not know 23-year-old Adam Harris by name, but you’ll remember this story. Adam isn’t famous, but he’s very handsome, so he attracted a lot of attention for his wedding photos. In these beautiful pictures, Adam stood with tears rolling down his cheeks as he watched his bride, Tisa, walk towards him. He’s clearly overcome with emotion. Just looking at these photos makes tears come to my eyes.

Some people didn’t feel so sentimental about Adam’s special day. The wedding took place 10 months ago. These photos have now gone viral, thanks to trolls at the (unfortunately well-read) “meninist” Twitter account, which added a lame caption.

He’s thinking about all the side hoes he has to give up pic.twitter.com/7e1Kyiz8VM

— Meninist (@MeninistTweet) May 22, 2015

Adam completely owned these trolls with a swift reply.

Or I was thinking about my wife, but you know, do you. https://t.co/MS5TBkT0hy

— Adam Harris (@AdamHSays) May 23, 2015

In the aftermath, Adam kept a level head. He hasn’t asked for attention, nor has he hidden my setting his Twitter account to “private.” When contacted by Buzzfeed, Adam gave this statement about his wedding day:

“It was raining all day and windy. We were a bit afraid the ceremony wouldn’t happen outdoors like we wanted it to but around noon the rain let up until the end of the ceremony. We agreed not to do the first look because we thought it would be more exciting to see each other for the first time during the ceremony. When it came time in the ceremony for her to walk down the aisle our DJ played ‘Beautiful’ by Meshell Ndegeocello and the doors above the stairs opened. When I saw her, I couldn’t hold back feelings of excitement and love, she looked gorgeous. Our photographer, Dustin Finklestein, captured the moment perfectly.”

[From Buzzfeed]

Something tells me that Adam and Tisa will enjoy a long and happy marriage. The Mail dug up their best man’s speech, which is pretty awesome too. Here are a few reply tweets to Adam’s excellent attitude.

@AdamHSays THIS IS THE BEST TWEET I’VE EVER SEEN ????

— ?? (@Teardroplirry) May 25, 2015

@AdamHSays absolutely hate this account and when they use peoples personal moments and mock it with a high following

— Wxnia (@Wxnia) May 23, 2015

Here’s Adam’s best man’s speech at his wedding. Both Adam and his videographer retweeted this, so they seem ok with it going public.

Photos courtesy of Adam Harris on Twitter

A photo posted by Paris Hilton (@parishilton) on May 23, 2015 at 7:13pm PDT

Last month, Kim Richards of The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills was arrested at the Beverly Hills Hotel for being drunk and disorderly. Cops had to drag her out of the bathroom where she was hiding and when she got to the station to be charged she kicked a police officer. In a follow-up appearance on Dr. Phil, Kim denied having a drinking problem but admitted that she did have drinks “a couple of other times” when she claimed to be sober. She cried pitifully and played the victim whenever Dr. Phil called her out. Kim’s three adult children were with her and they looked understandably hardened toward their mother, as if they were over her drama. Dr. Phil tried to get Kim to go to rehab, but she waffled. She kept saying that her daughter, Brooke, was getting married in Mexico and she didn’t want to miss it. (It was Brooke’s second wedding to the same guy, her first was shown on RHOBH.)

Kim eventually went to rehab (her fourth stint that we know of) after changing her mind a few times. She got furlough from rehab to go to her daughter’s wedding this weekend in Cabo, just like she requested, and she had a sober coach with her. Well guess what? At her daughter’s wedding, Kim got drunk, rude and slurry as is her default setting. She spewed a bunch of crap to Brooke and now Brooke isn’t even talking to her. Kim’s sober coach got so fed up she left. Predictably, Kim missed her deadline to return to rehab. Here’s more, thanks to TMZ:

Kim Richards melted down at her daughter’s wedding over the weekend to the point her sober coach quit, her daughter isn’t speaking with her anymore and those present say she was either on drugs or alcohol.

Multiple sources tell TMZ … Kim was clearly under the influence of something, although no one seems to know what. Our sources say whatever Kim took or drank, she did so in private, but when she interacted with people at the wedding she was “a mess.”

We’re told Kim was saying horribly nasty things to her daughter, Brooke, right after the wedding. We’re told Kim was cursing out the groom’s family and was generally belligerent. The bride has vowed she won’t speak with her mom again.

As for the sober coach … we’re told she couldn’t control Kim and left Mexico immediately after the wedding.

Our sources say Kim is still in Cabo and she’s gone radio silent. The rehab facility gave her a pass to attend the wedding but gave her a deadline to return Monday, which she has not done.

[From TMZ]

Yeah, that was easy to see coming. I know Dr. Phil is a quack but he does call people on their bullsh*t. He said one thing to Kim that stuck with me. “I’ve never yet seen an alcoholic that reports things fully and accurately.”

Years ago, during the first season of RHOBH, I was on Kim’s side in the ongoing battle between Kim and her sister, Kyle. I thought that Kyle was being harsh to Kim when she called her insane and told her that people were sick of her drama. Kim went to rehab back then but it’s rinse and repeat with her. Now that I’ve seen Kim continue to spiral into alcoholism and denial, I get where Kyle was coming from. It must be so hard to deal with an alcoholic sister like that, not to mention a mother who brings all that drama to her daughter’s wedding.

Paris Hilton posted this video of her aunt Kim addressing the bride and groom. This must have been before she hit the sauce heavy.

Such a beautiful moment between The bride & mother of the bride. ?? Love you @KimRichards11. Congratulations @BrookeWiederhorn & @ThayerWiederhorn. #SoulMates ???? #WiederWedding

A video posted by Paris Hilton (@parishilton) on May 24, 2015 at 5:58am PDT

Wedding day ????

A photo posted by Kyle Richards Umansky (@kylerichards18) on May 23, 2015 at 7:16pm PDT

With my beautiful sister and niece @kimrichards11 @brookewiederhorn so happy for you and Thayer ! Wish you both a long life together xoxo Aunt K

A photo posted by Kathy Hilton (@kathyhilton) on May 14, 2015 at 4:48pm PDT

Here are some photos of Taylor Swift performing in Louisiana last week. Her tour has started, and I think she’s organized it a lot like her Red Tour, which is to say that Tay-Tay is mostly performing in clusters on Thursdays, Fridays and Saturdays and then she has the rest of the week off. It’s a pretty smart way to tour, especially if you’re a big pop star and you have your own plane and everything. Taylor did an interview with BBC1 this week where she talked about how “easy” it is to be a touring pop star. Sure?

Being a pop star is really not a bad gig—just ask Taylor Swift! The ex-country singer, 25, told BBC Radio 1?s Nick Grimshaw that touring the world “is not that hard. I’m telling you now it’s really not…Sometimes I really don’t think it’s that hard at all…When I was starting out I’d go on tour for three months and I was gone for three months. Now almost 10 years in, thank God we get to play bigger shows so I don’t have to play as many. If we’re playing stadiums, I’ll do two or three a week, not five shows a week, then I get to fly home in between. It’s not that bad.”

But while Taylor thinks the globetrotting life of a pop star is “made out to be harder than it is,” there is one part she struggles with…As she told BBC Radio 1, “I do have to leave the cats behind when I leave the country, which is the hardest part.”

But Meredith Grey and Olivia Benson surely understand their mama’s got a job to do! Taylor loves this gig, too. “That’s the best part of this [touring], when you walk off stage and you’re drenched in sweat and you’re tired and your legs hurt,” she said. “It feels like you’re really working for the job. It’s nice to feel tired after a show. I’m like ‘Oh my God, I’m finally doing something.’”

And how does Taylor reward herself for all this hard work? With some TV time, of course! “I really like the feeling of: ‘You know what? I’ve been busy. I deserve this watching two hours of TV at the end of the night.’ I like Friends because I’ve seen every episode, so it’s like switching my brain off. I know exactly what they’re about to say.”

[From E! News]

Taylor should watch cooking shows when she wants to turn her brain off. That’s what I do – I find cooking shows so relaxing, even when they’re not making food that I particularly want to eat. The Barefoot Contessa is probably the best one to watch after a busy day. But yes, reruns are great for relaxing too.

As for Taylor and how she finds touring so easy these days… a few points. One, from what I understand, Taylor isn’t doing really crazy, intensive dancing like some other pop stars (Beyonce). But unlike some pop stars (Britney), I believe Taylor is attempting to sing most of her songs live. Does she have backing tracks? I’m sure. But she actually is trying to give her fans a live experience. Now, all that being said… of course it’s “easy” to be a touring pop star when you only do two shows a week, everything is expertly managed and you have a private plane to fly home after every show. I wonder who takes care of Meredith and Olivia while Tay is gone?

Photos courtesy of Fame/Flynet and Pacific Coast News.