I was recently discussing my cheapness with someone, and suddenly I was struck by a simple fact: even if I had crazy money to spend on nonsense, I would probably still live much the way I live now. I would buy a bigger house with a big pool. I would eat out at nice restaurants more often than I do now. But otherwise? Eh. I’m a cheap person. I love looking at expensive stuff (clothes, purses, jewelry), but I don’t really want or need to live that way.

Intellectually, I could see why someone – a wine aficionado, perhaps – would spend $20,000 on a bottle of wine. I would NEVER, but if you get your rocks off on $20,000 wine and you can afford it, that’s your business. But I will never understand conspicuous consumption just for the sake of the “conspicuous” part and not for the “consumption” part. If you spend $20,000 on wine, you better DRINK THE WINE. And not pour into a hot tub. Which is exactly what Beyonce did in her new music video with Nicki Minaj, “Feeling Myself.” The Beyhive noticed that in one scene, Bey pours a bottle of Armand de Brignac into a hot tub.

Beyoncé pouring my college tuition fees into a hot tub pic.twitter.com/iF0Wkqi7oX

— Shady Music Facts (@musicnews_shade) May 19, 2015

Apparently, Armand de Brignac wines can cost anywhere from $300 to “hundreds of thousands of dollars,” and some of the Bey-stans believe that this particular bottle costs about $20,000. All of this is moot if Beyonce just had the empty bottles and they filled them with water or ginger ale or whatever. Which is what I hope actually happened. Because if Beyonce really poured a $20,000 bottle of wine into a hot tub for a music video, then there will be blood.

???? #FeelingMyself #FeelingMyselfVIDEOonTIDAL

A photo posted by Nicki Minaj (@nickiminaj) on May 18, 2015 at 2:18pm PDT

Photos courtesy of Twitter, Instagram, Fame/Flynet.

Late last week, 17-year-old Ariel Winter became officially emancipated. This news arrived over two years after Ariel was removed from her mother’s care after very serious abuse allegations. Ariel’s older, Shanelle Gray, sister assumed temporary guardianship, and the Modern Family cast and crew all pitched in to help take care of Ariel. Now Ariel is free, and she’s making big plans. She’s preparing to graduate high school and is already looking at colleges. Ariel’s even thinking about aiming for law school:

Ariel Winter’s recent emancipation isn’t the only big legal plan she’s had brewing.

The 17-year-old Modern Family star tells me that she plans to become a lawyer.

She graduates from high school next year and she’s already looking at colleges.

“I toured around schools in California and I’m going to take a tour of East Coast schools,” Winter said last night at the TV Academy screening of Modern Family’s season finale.

She’s most interested in business and law. “I would love to continue acting but it’s definitely important, I think, to go and do something else as well,” Winter explained. “You never know if something’s not going to work out, if one day acting is like, ‘No, we don’t like you anymore!’ You gotta have something else you can do. I’ve always been interested in law so I think it’ll definitely be something that I’ll love to do and also go to school for.”

[From E! Online]

Ariel’s young, and there’s plenty of time to decide on a career. I think she might be interested in law because she watched some behind-the-scenes workings of her emancipation. Once she gets to college, she’ll probably change her major a few times (like many students do). Experience tells me that a business education is far more practical than a law degree. No disrespect to any of the happy lawyers out there, but career dissatisfaction runs rampant in the field. People usually think legal work is more exciting than it really is. Don’t do it, Ariel! (She’ll be fine. She’s a strong girl.)

Photos courtesy of Fame/Flynet & WENN

I went back and forth with myself about covering this Page Six story about Chelsea Clinton. On one side, Chelsea Clinton isn’t running for public office and we only know her name because her parents are two of the most well-known political figures in the country/world. On the other side, Chelsea isn’t a kid anymore and she’s embraced a public role quite a bit in the past few years, even perfectly timing her Elle Magazine cover to coincide with her mom’s announcement. It is my feeling that Hillary Clinton and Chelsea are on the same page this time around, and Chelsea is going to be a big part of Hillary’s presidential campaign. I’m sure baby Charlotte (Hillary’s grandbaby) will be a big part too. So with the good must come the bad, and we can always trust a Rupert Murdoch-owned press outlet to bring the bad.

Chelsea Clinton is so unpleasant to colleagues, she’s causing high turnover at the Bill, Hillary and Chelsea Clinton Foundation, sources say. Several top staffers have left the foundation since Chelsea came on board as vice chairman in 2011.

“A lot of people left because she was there. A lot of people left because she didn’t want them there,” an insider told me. “She is very difficult.”

Onetime CEO Bruce Lindsey was pushed upstairs to the position of chairman of the board two years ago, so that Chelsea could bring in her McKinsey colleague Eric Braverman.

“He [Braverman] was her boy, but he tried to hire his own communications professional and actually tried to run the place. He didn’t understand that that wasn’t what he was supposed to be doing,” said my source. “He was pushed out.”

Matt McKenna was Chelsea’s spokesman, and then he wasn’t. Now he works for Uber. Ginny Ehrlich, the founding CEO of the Clinton Health Matters Initiative, now works for the Robert Wood Johnson Foundation.

Chelsea has embraced all the trappings of a corporate CEO, with a personal staff almost as big as her father’s. “He has six. She has five,” said my source.

None of this would surprise her former co-workers at McKinsey and NBC News. At both the management consulting firm and the network, co-workers allegedly were told they couldn’t approach Chelsea.

[From Page Six]

This really doesn’t sound good. And it also sounds really possible. A few years ago, Chelsea did a very interesting interview with Vogue, and I came away with that thinking she was more of “absent-minded professor” type, with a streak of her father’s flirtatiousness. But maybe she’s not so nice. Or maybe this is all just some standard foundation turnover and they’re finding a way to blame it all on Chelsea.

Photos courtesy of WENN.

Leonardo DiCaprio has been in Cannes, but he hasn’t been photographed very much (if at all) this year. He doesn’t have any films opening at the film festival, but Leo likes to be in Cannes every year just for the parties. I’m sure he’s rented or borrowed a yacht and I’m sure that there’s a steady line of models, B-list actresses and assorted “others” in and out of that yacht. Leo wouldn’t miss Cannes for the world. Well, a few nights ago, Leo attended the Heart Fund’s Generous People Gala. The gala had a big charity auction, and wouldn’t you know? Leo was bidding on items right and left. He ended up winning a Chanel purse with a bid of $11,300 (it was a $10,000 purse). He won because he outbid Paris Hilton.

Leonardo DiCaprio: One. Paris Hilton: Zero. The actor, 40, and the heiress, 34, engaged in some haute haggling Monday evening at the Heart Fund’s Generous People Dinner Gala when they both bid on a pricey Chanel purse at the InterContinental Carlton Cannes.

A source tells PEOPLE that the Wolf of Wall Street star was indeed the victor after the friendly bidding war and walked away with the designer handbag, which was reportedly worth more than $10,000. (What a steal.) The sweetest part? DiCaprio snagged the bag for his mom, Irmelin.

But Hilton was anything but a sore loser. The generous duo stayed for the entire event, catching speeches, a musical performance by hip-hop artist Mos Def, a decadent dinner spread and all of the auctions.

“Paris was great. She bid on many things, and Leo did too,” the source says. “Both her and Leo were so active during the entire auction. It was really nice to see.”

Sporting a suit and his signature scruff, DiCaprio “was laughing and enjoying himself with his friends,” the onlooker says.

[From People]

Well… at least it was for charity? Yes, I’ll give them that. I think Leo is just that guy – he likes to drink, party, throw around money and be the King of the P-ssy Posse. But he does donate money to some worthy causes, and hey, at least he’ll give the purse to his mom. I would like it more if he gave the purse to Rihanna though. And if you were in a bidding war with Paris Hilton, wouldn’t you just give up? Wouldn’t you say, “Huh, if Paris and I are trying to get the same purse, the purse probably isn’t worth it”?

Photos courtesy of WENN.

Charlize Theron left Cannes to attend the Life Ball in Vienna on the weekend. I was surprised to see her there. Because, you know, the Life Ball, though important and for a good cause, doesn’t normally attract such A listers. It’s typically Hollywood Ebola Hilton. Or Kanye West’s wife. Or Lindsay…      

Charlize Theron left Cannes to attend the Life Ball in Vienna on the weekend. I was surprised to see her there. Because, you know, the Life Ball, though important and for a good cause, doesn’t normally attract such A listers. It’s typically Hollywood Ebola Hilton. Or Kanye West’s wife. Or Lindsay…      

Taylor Swift’s brother, Austin, posted some photos from the BMA after party. That’s Taylor, Calvin Harris, party host Ed Sheeran and a few members of 1D. But certainly not the member of 1D. Harry Styles left town and skipped the after parties. And Taylor successfully friend collected his bandmate…      

Taylor Swift’s brother, Austin, posted some photos from the BMA after party. That’s Taylor, Calvin Harris, party host Ed Sheeran and a few members of 1D. But certainly not the member of 1D. Harry Styles left town and skipped the after parties. And Taylor successfully friend collected his bandmate…      

Not the name of a new hipster restaurant…

Chris Pine was photographed having a kissy lunch in Hollywood the other day. Her name is Vail Bloom. Never heard of her in my life. But apparently she’s on a reality show called Vanderpump Rules. Never heard of it in my life.

The point is he has a…      

Not the name of a new hipster restaurant…

Chris Pine was photographed having a kissy lunch in Hollywood the other day. Her name is Vail Bloom. Never heard of her in my life. But apparently she’s on a reality show called Vanderpump Rules. Never heard of it in my life.

The point is he has a…