As we learned in Beyonce’s utterly stupid New York Times profile earlier this week, Beyonce “has not answered any direct questions for more than a year.” Which means that Beyonce’s “people” are left to pick up the slack in explaining how awesome she is and how she’s the second coming (Beysus!) and all of that. Hilariously, Jay-Z’s stylist June Ambrose sort of threw some minor shade at Bey for her Met Gala look in an interview a few days ago. Ambrose told Page Six: “I love that some people got it and some people didn’t…It was a lot of that sheer, Bob Mackie-inspired pieces, which is not Chinese. You know, they’re musicians. Do they follow rules? Never.” You in danger girl! How dare you say that Beyonce didn’t follow the theme! So of course Beyonce’s hair stylist had to come out and explain how Beyonce’s look was completely fabulous and haters to the left. Except that The Glamming of Beyonce went down in an elevator?!

‘Course sometimes s–t goes down when there’s a billion dollars in the elevator! When Beyonce hit the red carpet at the 2015 Met Gala hours after most of the other stars posed for the cameras, she flawlessly worked her racy Givenchy gown and her high ponytail.

But what most don’t know is that the “Flawless” singer’s effortless look was finalized in the elevator. No, not that elevator, but in the elevator of her apartment building on the way to the swanky event’s carpet. Beyonce’s longtime hairstylist Neal Farinah (of the Neal Farinah Salon in Brooklyn’s Fort Greene neighborhood on Fulton Street) was on hand for the quick fix, and exclusively told Us Weekly’s Gwen Flamberg about the last-minute switch up.

“For the Met Ball we did that high ponytail but that wasn’t supposed to be the style,” Farinah revealed. “We did that in the elevator as she was on the way out.”

Originally Bey’s long locks were entirely wrapped up in “an asian-inspired chignon,” but Farinah said the Grammy winner felt the look might be too “costumey,” and made a spur-of-the-moment decision.

“Then we were in the elevator on the way down, and she looks at me and says ‘Neal, I want to change my hair, will you change my hair?’ And I said, ‘Honey, there could be cameras in the elevator,’” Farinah quipped, referencing last year’s infamous “Elevatorgate” in which her sister Solange Knowles got into a physical altercation with her husband Jay Z. “She says, ‘You have 5 minutes.’ And I said, ‘Girl, what do you want me to do with the hair?’ And she wanted a high ponytail. With Beyonce, she looks at herself and she says, ‘This isn’t right, let’s change it.’”

After years of collaborating with Queen Bey for events, music videos, and concerts, Farinah and the chart-topper have formed a close friendship. The longtime stylist greatly admires Beyonce for her comprehensive creative vision.

“Just like everything else we do we come up with a concept and then we present it to Beyonce,” he explained. “She is a powerhouse and she knows what she wants. I have to pay her a compliment. Beyonce takes us all out of our comfort zone, and she pushes us to be the most artistic we can be with her.”

[From Us Weekly]

Girl, you’re going to get fired if you keep making elevator jokes. Elevator jokes will not be tolerated!!

As for her hair drama…on one side, I think a chignon would have been bad with Bey’s dress. On the other side, the high rooster tail was pretty bad too AND it made her look like the Zamunda chick from Coming to America. Basically, when Beyonce wasn’t happy with her look, she should have just stopped everything (including the elevator!!!) and started over. Let’s be honest: Bey’s look-at-ME Givenchy was pretty bad. As was her look-at-MEEEE entrance on the Met Gala carpet more than two hours late.

Oh, and Us Weekly also claims that Beyonce was SOOOO late for the gala because she was online, looking at what everyone else was wearing, and she changed into the Givenchy at the last minute. Bey’s rep deigned to deny that part of the story though.

Photos courtesy of WENN.

Fast and furious!

Actress Jordana Brewster was photographed with son Julian, 20 months, in their Brentwood, Calif. neighborhood on Wednesday (May 13). The Furious 7 star, 35, strolled with her tot while pushing him in a car push toy.

Last week, we spotted the mother-son duo touching down at LAX together.

“I am happiest when I hear my son giggle,” the proud mama recently said of her only child. “He has the best laugh I have ever heard.”

Julian’s father is Jordana’s husband of 8 years, film producer Andrew Form.

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A photo posted by Lindsay Lohan (@lindsaylohan) on May 13, 2015 at 12:03pm PDT

Here is an Instagram from Lindsay Lohan’s first day of community service in Brooklyn. Yes, she’s working with children. Those poor children. She’s trying to fulfill the last 115 hours of her court-ordered community service at the Brooklyn Community Center. First we heard that she was supposed to start over the weekend, but Lindsay had more cracked-out adventures to do, so she only arrived in New York a few days ago. Then we heard that she was supposed to start on Monday or Tuesday. Didn’t happen. Yesterday, Wednesday, was her first day. And of course she was late. TWO HOURS LATE.

115 … 114 … Lindsay Lohan is finally clicking off her community service hours in a desperate race to keep her ass out of jail — she reported for work in Brooklyn … and immediately reconnected with an old, young friend.

Our Lohan sources tell us Lindsay managed to sneak in a back entrance to the children’s daycare facility … dodging all the media gathered out front for her arrival. She showed up about 2 hours after she was expected — or roughly 90 minutes after most of the kids got there.

Lindsay ran into 5-year-old Donovan who she previously connected with during her docuseries with Oprah Winfrey. NBCNewYork.com tweeted out the photo of the reunion.

We’re told she’s scheduled to work an 8 hour day (which will leave her at 107 hours to go) — and administrators will expect her to arrive earlier starting Thursday.

[From TMZ]

Pretty typical. I’d like to hear from the kids and the parents what it was like when she finally breezed in, reeking of stale cigarettes and cheap tequila. “I’M HEERRRRE!” she crack-squawks, then hiccups. You know that’s exactly what happened. Okay, maybe it was cheap vodka and not tequila. My bad.

And here’s something that I’m sure will not be incredibly offensive to a large swath of people: Lindsay was carrying around a Koran (Qur?an) in Brooklyn. She even posed for some paparazzi photos with the holy book. Go here to see the photos. Sigh… I’m sorry, Muslims. I’m really sorry that this crackhead is carrying your holy book.

Photos courtesy of Instagram, Fame/Flynet.

In a sweet new Instagram image, Academy Award-winning actor Matthew McConaughey strikes a pose with his family-of-five.

“To all the Moms… I learn from you everyday! It’s the hardest job in the world, but the most rewarding!! Keep looking forward… #HappyMothersDay! #Love #Family,” Matthew’s wife Camila Alves captioned the image with their three kids: Levi, 6 1/2, Vida, 5, and Livingston, 2.

The Interstellar star, 45, recently gushed about their happy family life.

“I wake up knowing the fact that this morning was not guaranteed to me,” he told Haute Living. “I’ve had times in my life when I did take that for granted. Many people do; it’s a very basic thing.”

He added: “Now I get to wake up next to someone who I know loves me the way she does – my wife – who gave birth to our three beautiful, healthy children. I get to live in a nice place, and I have things to look forward to every day – work, play, and sometimes nothing at all.”

To all the Moms… I learn from you everyday! It’s the hardest job in the world, but the most rewarding!! Keep looking forward… #HappyMothersDay! #Love #Family A todas as maes… eu aprendo com voces todos os dias! E o trabalho mais difícil do mundo mais o mais prazeroso! #FelizdiadasMaes!! #familia #amor Para toda la Madre’s… Yo aprender de usted todos los días ! Es el trabajo difícil del mundo, pero el más gratificante!! Mantenga mirando hacia a delante. #FelizdíadelaMadre!

A photo posted by Camila Alves (@iamcamilaalves) on May 10, 2015 at 5:38pm PDT

The photo call and presser for Mad Max: Fury Road happened in Cannes this morning. Click here to read my review from yesterday. I have no doubt the audience at the Palais would have loved it. Like I wrote yesterday, the movie is straight up, balls out mental. Half the time your eyes are bulging a…      

Blythe Danner did an interview with The Today Show yesterday to promote her new movie I’ll See you in My Dreams. You can see the interview here – it’s not really important, although I do enjoy Blythe in general. As she discussed her movie, she got some questions about her Goopy daughter, Gwyneth Paltrow. And Blythe sort of let it slip that she thinks she raised a woman so extraordinary that people only criticize her daughter because we’re intimidated by her.

Too much of a good thing? Gwyneth Paltrow gets a lot of flak for being, well, Gwyneth Paltrow, but her mom, for one, thinks that’s just proof of how great the actress really is. During an interview on the Today show to promote her new movie, I’ll See You in My Dreams, Blythe Danner told Natalie Morales that she thinks her daughter attracts criticism because people are “intimidated” by her success.

By her own admission, the Little Fockers star, 72, doesn’t keep up with everything that’s written about her family online. But she figures “so much of it is just trying to sell papers or whatever that’s called over the Internet.”

As for Paltrow, her daughter with the late Bruce Paltrow? “I know she’s the most extraordinary girl who can do everything,” Danner gushed of the Goop founder, a mom herself to daughter Apple, 10, and Moses, 9. “Incredible mother, she’s raising hundreds of thousands of dollars for my husband’s oral cancer foundation — things she doesn’t talk about a lot.”

Danner added that Paltrow is becoming a “great environmentalist,” telling Morales: “I’m so proud of her. I think she’s so accomplished that people get kind of intimidated by it.”

[From Us Weekly]

I’ve always thought the mother-daughter dynamic between Gwyneth and Blythe was interesting, but I always believed that Blythe was a pretty cool person and Gwyneth just turned out to be one of the biggest snobs and elitists in the world out of nowhere. But I think we have to admit that Blythe might have had a hand in it. Blythe was the mom telling Gwyneth at a very young age that people were just jealous of her, that they were intimidated by her amazingness. Sigh…

View image | gettyimages.com

View image | gettyimages.com

Photos courtesy of Getty, WENN.

Expectant mama Ashlee Simpson stepped out with husband Evan Ross for lunch in Studio City, Calif. on Tuesday (May 12). Looking beautiful in a black maxi maternity dress, the singer-reality star, 30, enjoyed some sushi during their outing.

The following day, the parents-to-be worked out at the Tracy Anderson gym in Studio City.

On Mother’s Day, the newlyweds were seen with Ashlee’s 6-year-old son Bronx. The trio stopped for a snack run at a gas station in Calabasas.

The couple – who were wed Aug. 2014 – are expecting a girl. Ashlee welcomed Bronx with her ex-husband, Fall Out Boy rocker Pete Wentz.

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I sort of have to give it to Camilla Parker-Bowles, the Duchess of Cornwall. She played the long game and she got the reward. If you consider Prince Charles a reward. But Camilla is so accepted in the royal fold at this point that she represents her husband at various events, and Camilla even greets the Queen with a kiss on the cheek and an overly familiar hand on the shoulder. How gauche!

These photos are from yesterday’s Royal Windsor Horse Show. I think Camilla was supposed to be the big royal guest at the show, but the Queen turned out as well – they arrived separately. Camilla quickly went over to the Queen, her mother-in-law, did a decent curtsy and then came closer to the Queen. That’s when Camilla’s hand went to her majesty’s shoulder and Camilla kissed the royal cheek. That brings up an interesting question that I have: when you go to kiss someone’s cheek – say, a relative – do you go right or left? My instinct is to go to my right and kiss their left cheek first. As you can see with these photos, Camilla went to her left and kissed the Queen’s right cheek. I wonder if there’s royal protocol involved with cheek-kissing?

I actually believe that Camilla and the Queen probably get along pretty well. And if they ever run out of things to say to each other, they can just talk about horses, right? Both women are very much involved with horse culture. And can I just say? I really like Camilla’s mature-lady styling. She looks comfortable and pulled-together. She doesn’t look like she’s trying desperately to look “young,” nor does she look dowdy and too “old.”

Photos courtesy of WENN.

View image | gettyimages.com

I don’t know how many of you will care about this, but it’s potentially devastating to me. Harry Shearer just tweeted that he’s leaving The Simpsons. Shearer’s contract negotiation talks reportedly broke down, and he’s said to have wanted a larger percentage of merchandising revenue. Shearer is an integral and irreplaceable part of The Simpsons, the longest running sitcom in the US. The Simpsons will air its 27th season starting this fall and it’s unclear how it will go on without Shearer. He’s the voice of Ned Flanders, Mr. Burns, Smithers, Principal Skinner, Lenny, Dr. Hibbert, Reverend Lovejoy, Kent Brockman, Rainier Wolfcastle and Otto among many others. I really hope this is just some kind of negotiation tactic, because if it’s true I don’t know how my family’s favorite show will continue. Here’s what Shearer tweeted.

from James L. Brooks’ lawyer: “show will go on, Harry will not be part of it, wish him the best.”. (1/2)

— Harry Shearer (@theharryshearer) May 14, 2015

This because I wanted what we’ve always had: the freedom to do other work.
Of course, I wish him the very best. (2/2)

— Harry Shearer (@theharryshearer) May 14, 2015

Thanks, Simpsons fans, for your support.

— Harry Shearer (@theharryshearer) May 14, 2015

This wouldn’t be the first time The Simpsons have lost a cast member in contract negotiations. In 2000 they killed off Maude Flanders when voice actress Maggie Roswell asked for a raise to cover her travel costs to LA. Roswell eventually reached an agreement with producers that she could work from home and she returned to the show in 2002. She’s the voice of Luann Van Houten, Helen Lovejoy, Miss Hoover and Maude Flanders (in flashbacks and dream sequences). The Simpsons also sadly lost Marcia Wallace, the voice of Edna Krabappel, when she passed away from complications from cancer in late 2013.

I’m hoping that Fox is just playing hardball with Shearer and that they’ll work out some sort of agreement with him to stay on. If he’s off the show, it definitely won’t be the same. They’re not going to be able to write off all those characters and I doubt they’ll be able to replace him convincingly. It would be a huge relief to hear that this announcement was premature and that Shearer and Fox have worked out a deal. Otherwise I have to tell my son about it and I’m dreading that.

View image | gettyimages.com

Dear Gossips,

If I was in Cannes, one of the films I’d be queuing for this weekend is the Amy Winehouse documentary directed by Asif Kapadia. Have you seen Senna? One of the best sports documentaries of all time. Obviously more enjoyable if you were a fan of Ayrton Senna but still riveting if…