Zoe Kravitz is one of Elle Magazine’s Women in Hollywood covers and honorees. I’m not exactly sure why, it’s not like she had an amazing professional year – yes, she was in The Batman, and she has P-ssy Island coming out next year, but that’s about it. Culturally, it was actually a bad year for her. She attended the Oscars and she devoted a few Instagram posts to making catty comments about Will Smith, and the backlash on social media was immediate and wall-to-wall. Black Twitter had all of the receipts. After that, it took her four months to open her mouth in public again, and when she did, she tried to act like she was canceled and people should be able to have conversations, blah, etc. Nowadays, Zoe seems to want to turn the page from all of that. Some highlights from her Elle interview:

Writing & directing ‘P-ssy Island’: “The story has changed many times. I started writing it before Harvey Weinstein was exposed, so the world was different. It came from a very different place, and it did start very much like an angry feminist script. Then, as the world changed and the conversation evolved, I got to sit back and watch what was going on.”

On the role that changed everything: “Bonnie from Big Little Lies and then Selina Kyle from The Batman—those had the biggest impact. They changed what I had the opportunity to do. When Jean-Marc Vallée gave me that job [on Big Little Lies], I was working with some of the best actors of our time all of a sudden. I had access to a different audience and was able to learn from all of those amazing women.”

Her mentor: “Reese Witherspoon and I became very, very close after Big Little Lies. She’s such a strong businesswoman and is really driven to inspire and educate other women in the industry to take up more space. She’s someone who I admire and who I always call when I have a question or something I want to make or produce, or a book I want to adapt.”

What’s changed in Hollywood post-#MeToo: “We became trendy. It’s cool in a way. When I was trying to find a director of photography for my movie and I wanted a woman, I couldn’t find one. All of the DPs who are female are booked, because that’s cool now or because people are paying more attention. If people are afraid to say they didn’t like a piece of art because it was made by a women, it feels to me that we aren’t allowing it to truly affect us. Art isn’t about liking. It’s about emotion, debate. Art is about conversation.”

Her best advice: “Always challenge what people say you can and can’t do, and what parts are written for you. I used to be told I couldn’t have a role because they wanted a white girl. Now we’re in this place where you can only play a role if you are that identity, which I think is very complicated. Can a person who can see play a blind person? I don’t know the answer. It’s all very blurry. There’s not necessarily a right side and a wrong side. It’s almost like it was so bad for so long that now we have to sit in this uncomfortable place that also doesn’t make a lot of sense, trying to even things out. It’s just like, Who’s in charge and where do we draw the line? I don’t know the answer to that.”

On being a role model: “I don’t know if I could be considered a role model, but I think allowing yourself to be imperfect is probably the best thing you can do for yourself right now. In this time of social media where people constantly present perfection, that’s really important, so I try to allow myself to be as human as possible. We live in this time where people are triggered and people are sensitive. But then people are saying horrible, horrible things to each other on the internet. I don’t understand. It’s all about power.”

On social media: “Social media is a big experiment that we’re all participating in, and to pretend like we understand it is a joke. I have had my ups and downs with it. I’m sure it’s helped my career in some ways, but I also think it’s hurt it…. People confuse social media with reality. It’s not real. What I mean by that is that I think people feel that if they feel something and they don’t express it on social media, then it doesn’t count. If you care about something and you don’t talk about it on social media, then you don’t care about it. If you write about one thing but not another thing, you care about one more than the other. None of that’s real. Or true.”

[From Elle]

I’m sorry, what? “It’s almost like it was so bad for so long that now we have to sit in this uncomfortable place that also doesn’t make a lot of sense, trying to even things out…” She’s both-sides-ing representation? She thinks it’s an uncomfortable place that “doesn’t make a lot of sense” when people are like “only trans people should play trans characters” or “Asian actors should play Asian characters.” I also think it’s weird that she sees Big Little Lies as some kind of huge moment for her career, especially since a lot of people criticized how poorly written Bonnie was. It was also written for a white actress, and they just popped Zoe into the role. Color-blind casting, only for the worst role of the ensemble.

Photos courtesy of Avalon Red, cover courtesy of Elle.

I’ve become something of a late-in-life Brian Cox fan. I’d never really cared about him one way or the other as an actor before I got into Succession. It’s so funny to think that after a fifty-year career on stage and screen, Cox will probably be best known for playing a Scottish version of Rupert Murdoch on an HBO show. Cox’s take on Succession’s patriarch Logan Roy is brilliant, funny and infuriating. Cox is 76 years old and he’s using this Succession success to do interesting side projects, like his new docu-series, How the Other Half Live. He goes around to rich people’s homes and he looks at all of the crazy sh-t they have and it sounds like he shames them for being rich. Good times. To promote this new series, Cox chatted with the Telegraph about money, Hollywood, America and a lot more. Some highlights:

On Succession: “Logan is a very lonely man driven by one idea, and his Achilles heel is that he loves his children. If he didn’t love them, he could carry on in his mercenary ways, but it doesn’t work. It just exacerbates the situation. It is easy to describe [the characters] as monstrous, but they are also victims of a society and a value system. Even though it is brilliant satire, there’s a tragic element to them, too.”

Exploring the wealth divide in ‘How the Other Half Live’: The growing wealth divide is a “demon”, he says. “No matter what faith or gender we are, the thing we suffer from is our exposure to money and relationship to it.”

Whether he’s rich: “I’m doing well, but I’m not one of them. I’m not a multimillionaire. Having money makes you safe, but it makes you guilty at the same time. Which is why we need a proper welfare system.”

Whether he’s poor by Hollywood standards: He says his own vices are clothes, but no longer food, since he was diagnosed with Type 2 diabetes. “I tend to fly publicly,” he adds. To paraphrase the journalist Tina Brown’s recent description of the Duke and Duchess of Sussex, does he feel “poor by Hollywood standards?” “I don’t know where Tina Brown is living… but the Royal family are never going to be poor. We have this idea of Hollywood, but it’s simply untrue. There are a lot of very sad people there trying to make a buck. It’s a very difficult place to live. And Hollywood is the worst place in the world to raise female children. There are so many pressures on young women already, and it just exacerbates them.”

His weird experience at a Me Too meeting: “Let me tell you my Hollywood story. I got a Golden Globe [in 2020], which was lovely. Then, I was invited to this MeToo meeting. I arrived late, so I had to stand at the back while all these rather intense Hollywood women were listening to Ronan Farrow [the journalist] talk about the work he had done [exposing the sexual misconduct of Harvey Weinstein]. Then it finished. Everyone turned around and immediately took out their devices and started filming me, walking up to me and saying, ‘Can you tell us to f— off?’. I thought: ‘Is this appropriate? This is a MeToo meeting.’ This is the problem – that people do things on a tokenistic level. I find that questionable.”

He is pessimistic about the future of America: “I thought America was a great society to be part of because of its egalitarian principles. But have those principles been practised? Have they f—! I think there could very easily be an uprising in the United States.”

Whether his children will inherit much from him: “I have some property, so that will probably be divided up among them. They’ll have a safety net, as long as it’s not too much of a safety net, and they actually get out and work their a–es off. But it’s nothing to do with me. I’m gone by then!”

[From The Telegraph]

“I don’t know where Tina Brown is living… but the Royal family are never going to be poor…” Yeah. I mean, Tina Brown’s comment was about how the Sussexes are poor compared to the uber-wealthy in Montecito, but I appreciate that Cox brings it back to the enormous wealth held by the Windsors. I also think LA/Hollywood is probably a very difficult place to raise kids in general, especially girls. But honestly, name a place where it’s easy to raise girls?

As for his socialism… I don’t think money and our relationship to money is the root of all evil, but I do think there should be better and stronger welfare systems in place, especially here in America. So much would be solved here if we had tax policies which made sense and we actually punished white-collar criminals appropriately.

Photos courtesy of Olivier Huitel / Avalon and Euan Cherry / Avalon.

Hurricane Nicole has probably derailed Tiffany Trump’s Florida wedding and Tiff is “freaking out” about it. [Dlisted]
Mariah Carey is a big fan of Princess Diana & The Crown. [LaineyGossip]
Real talk, I loathed Carrie Bradshaw’s Vivienne Westwood wedding gown. [Go Fug Yourself]
Older folks navigating the internet = hilarious. [OMG Blog]
Fox News: The Democrats want women to stay single! [Jezebel]
There’s nothing heroic about Kanye West. [Pajiba]
Will anyone watch The Culpo Sisters? [Gawker]
Florence Pugh shows us that she’s still tight with her ex, Zach Braff. [Just Jared]
Dua Lipa, so pretty and such bad style. [Egotastic]
Donald Glover has a problem writing Black women characters. [Buzzfeed]
Real Housewives of the Potomac cast member has serious issues. [Starcasm]
The midterms were also awesome because there was a “Rainbow Wave.” [Towleroad]

While Peter Morgan and The Crown are always a tad too generous with how they cast the “Prince Charles” role, they’ve gotten it bang-on with casting actresses for Camilla Parker Bowles. Emerald Fennell played Camilla in Seasons 3 and 4, and I thought she was great at showing why she would appeal to Charles, and she showed Camilla as a real schemer too, manipulating both Diana and Charles. In the two new seasons, Camilla is played by Olivia Williams and once again, inspired casting. They tossed an unkempt ashy-blonde wig on Olivia and told her not to moisturize and it’s PERFECT. In Season 5, you really get how Camilla was just, at that time, a suburban mom with connections, openly carrying on with a married man. According to Dominic West and Olivia, Camilla is a sympathetic figure because… she was just a woman in love, and sometimes life is messy, I guess.

As for how the divorce will be portrayed, Dominic believes The Crown will be ‘more even-handed and fairer than the newspaper coverage at the time’. Olivia Williams, who takes over from Emerald Fennell to play Camilla in season five, agrees saying, ‘I don’t think it’s something the Palace should be frightened of. Peter Morgan is very careful to always turn these events back to how they affect the crown [not the individuals]. The series if called The Crown, not Charles or Diana.’

West added: ‘Hindsight is a wonderful thing. At the time, when we were thinking about this divorce as it happened – there was an enormous sense of grievance in the public that this fairy-tale had been destroyed. I think now we realise Camilla was not a marriage breaker, she was not someone who was trying to deny us this fairy tale – she was just someone who was in love.’

Camilla, now the Queen Consort, has always been a divisive figure due to her role in the breakdown of Charles and Diana’s marriage. But Olivia believes the new season will dispel ‘the trope of the marriage breaker that the press fed at the time’.

‘Anybody who has a perspective on divorce knows that the whole blame game becomes irrelevant,’ says Olivia. ‘And maybe now we see that [Charles and Diana’s] marriage wasn’t a great idea in the first place. I say that without any disrespect to any of the families involved – as Dominic says, hindsight is a valuable thing.’

Reportedly, season five of The Crown will include a recreation of the infamous ‘tampon-gate’ phone call, when intimate conversations between Charles and Camilla were leaked – no doubt a moment that the royals would rather forget.

‘Back then, a lot of what we learn about Charles and Camilla seemed in some way sordid, or not very appealing,’ says Dominic. ‘Very often it was a gross invasion of their privacy which feels very squeamish now – when you could read the text of their phone conversations, or ring up a hotline and listen to their phone conversations.’

Despite this, both Dominic and Olivia were struck by the romance between Charles and Camilla. ‘What we learnt playing those times and those events – was how actually rather sweet they were together and how romantic it was,’ says Dominic.

[From Grazia]

I genuinely disagree with this, but I find it interesting that Olivia and Dominic both seem to be arguing that the “original sin” was Charles and Diana’s marriage in the first place, that they were unsuited for each other and they both had every right to look elsewhere. But what I’m reminded of is not that Charles simply wanted to have an affair with Camilla, it’s that he was in love with Camilla throughout his courtship with Diana and throughout their marriage. Camilla was the “original sin” of Charles and Diana’s marriage. Camilla kept him trapped, but make no mistake, Charles kept going back to Camilla by his own choice too. People always criticize Diana for not being “okay” with Charles cheating on her, but it was perfectly clear that Charles was incapable of keeping up with the appearance of a happy marriage. It wasn’t enough that he was unfaithful, it was also that he treated Diana like sh-t, publicly and privately. Camilla knew exactly what she was doing too. Anyway! Rottweiler Apologia, I think not.

Photos courtesy of Netflix/The Crown.

Chris Evans spent a big chunk of his People Magazine “Sexiest Man Alive” cover story talking about how he’s ready to settle down. To hear Chris’s narrative about himself, he’s a romantic who loves regular ladies who want to live in Boston and hang out with his family. He’s ready to make that commitment to talking about how much he wants a commitment! It didn’t even occur to me that the SMA title could be the precursor to an official girlfriend rollout, but here we are. Apparently, Chris has been dating Portuguese actress Alba Baptista for over a year. He’s 41, she’s 25. Pretty predictable, actually.

Chris Evans has a new love in his life.

The Lightyear actor, 41, has been dating Portuguese actress Alba Baptista “for over a year and it’s serious,” a source tells PEOPLE, adding, “They are in love and Chris has never been happier. His family and friends all adore her.”

Reps for Evans and Baptista did not respond to PEOPLE’s requests for comment.

Baptista, 25, starred in this year’s Mrs. Harris Goes to Paris. She speaks five languages and is the daughter of an engineer and a translator. In 2018, she did an extensive amount of humanitarian work at an orphanage in Cambodia focusing on education. Last year, she won the Shooting Star award at the Berlin Film Festival.

[From People]

I do think Chris has a physical type and Alba seems to be it. He’s mentioned his type before – dark hair, big booty, accent (Boston, Spanish or, as it turns out, Portuguese). Plus, she’s just young and pretty, so she’s most guys’ type. I hope Chris’s fans don’t make her life hell.

Photos courtesy of Cover Images, Avalon Red, James Shaw/Avalon.

Jennifer Garner was seen out at a Big Brother Big Sisters Gala in LA last night with a new haircut, a lob, in a lighter color. She also got caramel highlights. Garner was in a crisp white suit and she’s wearing a ring on her left ring finger. That makes me wonder if it’s an engagement ring, which we’ve speculated about before. She’s been with entrepreneur John Miller for years. It isn’t a typical engagement ring though and it matches her bracelet. Garner likely realized that people would speculate about it and that may be why she kept her hand in her pocket for most of the photos.

I love everything about her look here, including her styling. The haircut and color suit her! Her makeup also looks great. As I was looking for stories about Garner I found her cover interview with Town & Country, which came out at the end of October but I’m just seeing it now. It’s mostly a profile of her tireless work with Save The Children, to which she’s dedicated over a decade. There aren’t a lot of big quotes from her except for the one I put in the title – that she sort of threw herself a wedding for her 50th birthday in April.

Addressing that word, nice, she says, “I have no reason not to be nice. My life is lovely.” But, she adds, “I’m not always just nice. I can also be salty, and I can be taciturn, or I can be really serious about what I want to get done. It’s not that I feel I’m underestimated in that way—I’m not afraid to stand up for myself and say, ‘Just so you know, this isn’t going to fly with me.’ When that happens, I don’t want you to be shocked that I’m a real person.”

In April she did do something out of character: She threw herself a splashy 50th birthday party. “I basically had a wedding for myself,” she says with a laugh. “I was so shocked that I was doing it.” But her birthday fell on Easter weekend, and after she invited her sisters and her parents, well, it snowballed. Just let the record show she also asked her guests to fill 5,000 backpacks each with enough food to feed a family of four for a program called Blessings in a Backpack.

“I put everyone to work,” she says. And then they danced to “Rocky Top” by the Osborne Brothers…

Suddenly I wondered if Garner has some unfinished business with Hollywood. “I don’t know,” she says, genuinely thinking about it. “Because I’m not ambitious in that way. Do I feel I’m owed some kind of accolades or something? Not really. I’ve kind of played it differently. How lucky am I that I’ve gotten to work all this time and raise a family? It’s more that the work truly comes from a place of love. I love being with a crew. I love being part of a crew. And I love when I get to be on set. It’s different from anywhere else. It’s just mine…”

“I treat Save the Children like a job—and it’s a job I take as seriously as any job. I mean, how you do anything is how you do everything.”

[From Town & Country]

I like that quote “how you do anything is how you do everything.” Garner has definitely worked hard for Save the Children and the T&C profile is full of people singing her praises, including Maria Shriver and her brother Mark Shriver, the head of Save the Children. As for throwing herself a wedding for her birthday – Selena Gomez just admitted she did that too. You may as well embrace the milestone birthdays with parties if that’s your thing. My 50th is coming up and I’m taking suggestions. There will definitely be a custom cake involved. My friend Karen just did a girls’ trip for hers!

photos credit: Xavier Collin/Image Press Agency/Avalon, FAYES VISION/startraksphoto.com/Cover Images

When we were recording this week’s Gossip with Celebitchy podcast, CB mentioned that she saw something about Elon Musk ending remote work for Twitter employees. I saidthat I thought that was just for Tesla employees, and while that’s true, it turns out that Twitter’s remaining employees are not allowed to do remote work either. CB was right! (She told me that she already edited that part out of the pod anyway!) Elon Musk ordered the handful of remaining Twitter staffers to report to work in the office. Musk did so in his first inter-office email after firing 50% of the staff. But that’s not all! Musk also said some crazy sh-t about how Twitter is going to make money after he f–ked it all up with the advertisers.

Two weeks after closing a $44 billion deal to buy Twitter, Elon Musk sent emails to the employees of the social media company late on Wednesday, his first communications with them after mass layoffs and high-pressure drives to create new products.

In two emails seen by The New York Times, Mr. Musk painted a bleak financial picture for Twitter and outlined changes at the company, including an end to its remote work policy and a renewed focus on generating revenue and fighting spam.

“Sorry that this is my first email to the company, but there is no way to sugarcoat the message,” Mr. Musk, 51, wrote in one email. “The economic picture ahead is dire.” Twitter was too heavily dependent on advertising and vulnerable to pullbacks in brand spending, he added, and would need to bolster the revenue it gets from subscriptions.

In another note to employees, he wrote that “the absolute top priority is finding and suspending any verified bots/trolls/spam.”

Mr. Musk’s emails came as Twitter continues to be roiled by his changes. Last week, he cut about 50 percent of the company’s 7,500 employees. At the same time, Mr. Musk has been pushing for product changes that would help Twitter make more money, including promoting a subscription product. He previously said the company was losing $4 million a day.

Twitter, whose communication department has been almost entirely laid off, did not immediately respond to a request for comment. Bloomberg earlier reported Mr. Musk’s emails.

On Wednesday, three top Twitter executives responsible for security, privacy and compliance also resigned, according to two people familiar with the matter and internal documents seen by The Times.

[From The New York Times]

No remote work, no communications office, no security and privacy people, next to no ad revenue and Elon Musk’s biggest f–king priority is ferreting out “verified” spam/bots? Like… what? What is his obsession with bots? Bots are a problem, in general, but bots are not the reason why Twitter is in freefall. Musk wouldn’t be in such dire financial straits if only he had a bare minimum of executive or managerial competence either – literally, the advertisers just wanted some assurance that Musk wasn’t going to turn Twitter into a Nazi playground and he could not even give them that assurance. So of course the ad revenues are going down. And I’m sorry, hanging all of his hopes on subscribers? LMAO. There are 396.5 million Twitter users. I doubt even 2% of them would pay to subscribe to Elon’s Nazi ego trip.

Speaking of how much money Musk is losing, he also told Twitter employees that bankruptcy is definitely on the table. Oh my f–ing god.

In a bankruptcy, the banks that lent Musk the money to buy Twitter would likely end up owning much or all of the company and Musk and his co-investors would see their equity diluted heavily or wiped out. https://t.co/IA6136mAzs

— Vikas Bajaj (@vikasbajaj) November 10, 2022

Photos courtesy of Avalon Red, Cover Images.

Almost a year ago exactly, Prince William went to a private event at the exclusive, members-only club Oswalds in Mayfair. The trip was notable because William’s wife was not with him, and because he was seen in the company of a mystery blonde. I argued at the time that William is too much of a secret squirrel to actually bring his mistress or side-chick out in public, even in a private-yet-social setting. But I do understand that the mystery blonde was mentioned for a reason, and maybe I got it wrong! Maybe William is dumb enough to carry on an affair this way. We certainly know he’s an idiot. Speaking of, William went to the same private club last night for a charity event, and it feels notable that the Daily Mail mentioned the name of an attractive blonde aristocrat:

Prince William enjoyed a rare night out as he attended a charity event at an exclusive Mayfair private members’ club last night. The Prince of Wales was photographed leaving Oswald’s in central London after the charity event in honour of bereaved children.

Others to attend the event included the Queen’s nephew David Linley and Lady Maria Balfour.

Oswald’s is the most exclusive of London’s private members’ clubs, with the Queen Consort and Boris Johnson and his wife Carrie among those who frequent the venue.

William was without the Princess of Wales for his outing – but accompanied by this security guards. He dressed smartly in a blue suit, with a smart white shirt and dark blue tie.

Others in attendance included Prince William’s cousin, David Linley, who is Princess Margaret’s son. The Queen’s nephew, who is professionally known as David Linley, was spotted emerging from Oswald’s with a friend. The father-of-two became an eligible divorcee following the end of his 26-year marriage to Serena — the daughter of multi-millionaire landowner the 12th Earl of Harrington, Viscount Petersham — in 2020. He has two children, Charles, 22, Viscount Linley, and Lady Margarita Armstrong-Jones, who was a bridesmaid at the Prince and Princess of Wales’ wedding.

[From The Daily Mail]

Lady Mary Balfour is an aristocrat by birth, the daughter of a count. She’s also married, from what I can see. There’s no mention of her husband in this reporting. I think the Mail is trying to give plausible deniability here, perhaps suggesting that Mary might be involved with David Linley, not William. It does feel… interesting. Two appearances at Oswalds, a year apart, with William going solo, and hanging out with blonde women. Hm.

Royal night out! Prince William is handsome in a blue suit at private member’s club in Mayfair https://t.co/knzsjRls8d

— Daily Mail U.K. (@DailyMailUK) November 11, 2022

Photos courtesy of Alastair Grant / Avalon, Backgrid, Cover Images.

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Well, I called it! And so did everyone else. Back in June, TMZ reported that Abby De La Rosa was pregnant with Nick’s child. Neither Nick nor Abby confirmed it, but it seemed likely to be true since they already have twins together. Well, Abby posted an Instagram story about Libras confirming that Nick is the father. That’s a different way to confirm/announce. It’s hard to keep being creative with this stuff!

It’s official. Abby De La Rosa, who is currently pregnant with her 3rd child, confirmed that Nick Cannon is the father.

The DJ, 31, shared a post via her Instagram Story on Tuesday, November 8, that read, “1 night with a Libra can turn into 3-4 years. Be careful.” De La Rosa added her own message to the post, writing, “Damn! Lol 1 night turned into 4 years and 3 kids real quick … I see no lies here smh. Y’all be safe out there.” Cannon, 42 — who shares 16-month-old twins Zillion and Zion with the California native — is a Libra.

De La Rosa announced in June that she is pregnant. Shortly after sharing the news, she told her Instagram followers she was looking “to find the best Z name I can find” for the baby. Last month, model Alyssa Scott confirmed that she and Cannon are expecting their second child together after their infant son, Zen, died suddenly in December 2021.

The Masked Singer host also shares twins Moroccan and Monroe, 11, with ex-wife Mariah Carey, son Legendary, 4 months, with Bre Tiesi, daughter Onyx, 1 month, with LaNisha Cole, and sons Golden, 5, and Rise, 1 month, and daughter Powerful Queen, 18 months, with Brittany Bell.

In September, De La Rosa defended her dynamic with the Drumline actor. “Being in a polyamorous relationship doesn’t mean you have low self-esteem or self-worth,” she said during an appearance on the “Lovers and Friends” podcast. “I become hypersensitive when people attack me and my motherhood.”

She continued: “Me being open in my relationship does not change or take away from the type of mother that I am to my kids and the wholeness that I am to them and the strength that I share with them.”

[From US Magazine]

I didn’t know that tidbit about Abby saying she was looking for a Z name for her next child. She and Nick have twins Zion and Zillions and his baby who passed away was named Zen. Is Abby being shady or supportive? Who knows if any of these ladies associate with each other. Nick has famously said they don’t have to get along with each other as long as they get along with him. But Abby recently defended the polyamorous relationship, so hopefully the grace she gives to Nick she extends to the other mothers as well. Wow, Nick has so many kids I’m starting to lose count. However, even though it was unconfirmed, I had been keeping Abby’s baby on my list as being Nick’s. Abby previously said she was due on October 25, so she either had the baby already or will soon. So Abby’s baby will be Nick’s 11th child and Alyssa Scott’s will be his 12th. Unless there’s another surprise a la LaNisha Cole in there, which is definitely possible with Nick.

2011: a twin son and daughter with Mariah Carey (1 and 2)
2017: a son with Brittany Bell (3)
2020: a daughter with Brittany Bell (4)
June 2021: twin sons with Abby De La Rosa (5 and 6)
June 2021: with Alyssa Scott, a son who tragically died five months later (7)
July 2022: a son with Bre Tiesi (8)
September 2022: a daughter with LaNisha Cole (9)
September 2022: a son with Brittany Bell (10)
TBD 2022: Abby De La Rosa (11)
TBD 2022 or 2023: Alyssa Scott (12)

I saw this on FB and it really helped. I thought he started having multiples with a few of the same women. pic.twitter.com/51JceToqZG

— Mrs. Grotke (@__BHB__) November 6, 2022

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Michelle Obama has a new book coming out. Which mean, we get new Michelle Obama interviews. I love her interviews because even though she is so much more accomplished than me, she puts everything in a way I can relate to. In her book, The Light We Carry, Michelle discusses her marriage to Barack Obama. People ask her all the time how she maintains an idyllic marriage. Michelle says she doesn’t, because theirs is no more idyllic than any other. But they love each other, and that love comes through in everything they do and say.

People often reach out to me seeking relationship advice. They remark on photographs they’ve seen of me and Barack together—laughing, or sharing a look, appearing content to be side by side. They ask how we have managed to stay both married and unmiserable for 30 years now. I want to say, Yes, truly, it’s a surprise to us, too, sometimes! And really, I’m not joking. We have our issues, of course, but I love the man, and he loves me, now, still, and seemingly forever.

Our love is not perfect, but it’s real and we’re committed to it. This particular certainty sits parked like a grand piano in the middle of every room we enter. We are, in many ways, very different people. He’s a night owl who enjoys solitary pursuits. I’m an early bird who loves a crowded room. In my opinion, he spends too much time golfing. In his opinion, I watch too much lowbrow TV. But between us, there’s a loving assuredness that’s as simple as knowing the other person is there to stay, no matter what. This is what I think people pick up on in those photos: that tiny triumph we feel, knowing that neither one of us has walked away. We remain.

Partnership doesn’t change who you are. Just as Barack hasn’t changed much in the thirty-three years since we met, neither have I. The change is in what’s between us, the million small adjustments, compromises, and sacrifices we’ve each made in order to accommodate the close presence of the other. Whatever seed of mutual curiosity got planted in the moment we met and started to talk, that’s the thing we have grown over time into certainty. That’s the ongoing miracle, the conversation still under way, the home in which we live.

[From People]

“Yes, truly, it’s a surprise to us, too, sometimes!” This is how I feel much of the time as well. There really are no universal secrets for how or why relationships work because the people those relationships are different. For instance, the second half of Michelle’s comments are the opposite for my relationship. Partnership changed each of us a great deal for the better. There were selfish aspects or toxic relationships we shed in order to come together. But we maintained those changes in our other relationships. We had friends comment how we’d made each other better.

Michelle also talks about what she’s told Malia and Sasha to look for in their partners. Her advice is not to look for someone to fill a role, like “breadwinner” or “caregiver” but rather “someone who will do the work with you, not for you, contributing on all fronts and in all ways.” That’s great advice. As are her comments on how important love is in a relationship. And one thing is for certain, that “loving assuredness” really does come across every time you see the Obamas together.

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