Well done.

Michael B Jordan is the male counterpart to Courtney Easton. They’re both in Dolce&Gabbana. And it’s the fabric that sets this apart from just a regular tuxedo. It’s luxurious. It’s old and modern at the same time. It has to be worn with confidence. And this guy…clearly… as we’ve s…      

Julia Roberts. That’s who popped into my mind when Eddie Redmayne and Hannah Bagshawe arrived at the MET Gala. Julia Roberts at the Oscars. Winning at the Oscars in vintage Valentino. I just feel like annoying you so I’ll post this to get you going:

It works every time, doesn’t it? Sorry…      

Well it’s gold. But it’s definitely not Chinese. Still… I appreciate the drama of this look (while you’re still wondering who she is. Answer: actress, Mad Max: Fury Road). It’s Dolce&Gabbana and it reminds me of their Fall 2012 collection which Stefano described as “something between princesses a…      

Almost anything would have been an improvement on last year. The WTF yellow Marchesa. What? You forgot?

How?

Here.

For 2015, Katie Holmes wore Zac Posen. And it’s fine. Forgettable, but fine. Oh and a new fringed bob that may or may not be a wig. Which just reminds me of the last…      

Kate Hudson’s gold dress was worn like a dishrag. And then there’s a gold dress the way Fan Bingbing wears a gold dress. By covering it with a cape. I wish I could show you more photos of her but photographers at these events tend to ignore international stars.

But you really don’t need a lot…      

As I noted in the open, gold, red, and green, these are the favoured Chinese colours. There was a lot of gold, red, and green at the MET Gala. Some of it done well, with just the right amount of Chinese cheesy, and some of it… well…

Kate Hudson in Michael Kors was a mess. The problem is the h…      

I love what’s happening underneath Dwyane Wade’s jacket. And I apologise in advance for mixing up my references but it reminds me of an old European army uniform; it reminds me of Les Miserables. Exciting, right? Because men’s fashion doesn’t often surprise you. This is flair. And when it’s done …      

Please note that yellow is not gold. On this night, it doesn’t substitute for gold.

Here’s what Duana texted me about Kristen Wiig’s dress:

Also f-ck off, Kristen Wiig. Stop it now.

And my response:

That yellow made me ANGRY.

Angry because … Prabal Gurung isn’t usually this un…      

I’ve seen Carina Lau in way more over the top dresses. But you can’t do a one-armed cape and get too crazy everywhere else. Carina turns 50 at the end of this year.

50! With a (Molly Shannon) kick! Like I always say, the doctors over in Asia know what they’re doing, man, because she’s not the…      

I’m still not over the fact that Tom Brady and Gisele Bundchen weren’t there. Instead we got Derek Jeter and Hannah Davis. OK. I can work with this.

Because…

I can’t remember the last time Derek Jeter walked a red carpet with a girlfriend. And he never, ever walked the MET Gala with Minka…