Weeeeeeee!

Jessica Simpson‘s husband Eric Johnson hit the beach with their two kids – daughter Maxwell, 2, and son Ace, 1 – in Santa Monica, Calif. on Wednesday (April 1). Amid the sand and surf, the former NFL star, 35, looked every bit the doting daddy while tossing his tot up and down.

Last week, Simpson shared a sweet shot of their son playing the guitar in daddy’s T-shirt.

And on Wednesday, the actress-singer-entrepreneur, 34, Instagrammed a romantic shot with her hubby, captioned by a prayer.

A photo posted by Jessica Simpson (@jessicasimpson) on Apr 1, 2015 at 11:09pm PDT

View Slideshow »»

View All Photos »»

Charlie Sheen has a long and storied history of abusing women. To mention just a few incidents, he “accidentally” shot his then-girlfriend, Kelly Preston, in the arm in 1990. (Charlie later claimed that Kelly shot herself when she picked up his pants with the gun in them. As if it’s that easy to fire a gun.) Charlie plead guilty to misdemeanor battery in 1997 for knocking his girlfriend, Brittany Ashland, to the floor, leaving her unconscious and bloody. In a subsequent lawsuit against Charlie, Ashland stated that Charlie made her remove and dispose of her bloody clothes and that he threatened to kill her if she reported him. Charlie was arrested for domestic violence again in 2009 for choking and threatening to kill his then-wife, Brooke Mueller. In 2010, Charlie allegedly choked and threatened to kill an adult film star, Capri Anderson. Again, these are just a handful of the countless allegations against Charlie. There are more I haven’t included and there are surely more we haven’t heard about.

That’s why it’s not surprising, but still extremely sad, that photos have come out of Charlie’s ex-fiance, Scottine Rossi, with extensive bruising around her neck. Radar has the photos and they’re set to be published in The National Enquirer. Radar reports that the photos were taken in late March of last year and that Scottie “spent many late nights crying and debating if she should stay or go.” They also have a photo of a broken paned door, presumably punched out by Charlie in a rage. Charlie and Scottie officially called off their engagement in October.

Many people will question why Scottie stayed with Charlie following this incident, which is typical in abusive relationships. Abusers promise the world, swear they’ll never do it again, shower the victim with love and presents, rinse and repeat. It’s hard to escape an abusive partner, no matter your station in life. Scottie was a 20-something porn star dating a rich and powerful man. It it any wonder that Charlie dates young sex workers? Maybe he assumes no one will believe them.

He still surprises me ???????? Yes, his glasses are upside down. #goofycouple #happy #loveit #scottine

A photo posted by Scottine Sheen (@scottine_) on Sep 2, 2014 at 7:56pm PDT

Charlie, crystal the monkey and I.

A photo posted by Scottine Sheen (@scottine_) on Sep 3, 2014 at 10:33pm PDT

Really blessed to have such an amazing man in my life. I love you @charliesheen #WeLaughAtTheRumors #scottine

A photo posted by Scottine Sheen (@scottine_) on Aug 23, 2014 at 4:42am PDT

Fun day! Happy birthday my love xoxo n.a.f #scottine

A photo posted by Scottine Sheen (@scottine_) on Sep 3, 2014 at 7:02pm PDT

#truth

A photo posted by Scottine Sheen (@scottine_) on Jan 12, 2015 at 7:15pm PST

Dear Gossips,

It was Jacek’s 40th birthday yesterday. He’s not really into parties. But there happened to be an event happening in Toronto, on his 40th birthday, that even he couldn’t resist.

Karl Lagerfeld hosted a party in Canada for the first time last night to celebrate The Art Shoppe…      

E! News host Giuliana Rancic has faced many hard times. Not only has she struggled with infertility and cancer, the Fashion Police star, 40, has recently undergone another devastating personal blow.

Giuliana and husband Bill Rancic, who welcomed son Duke via surrogate in 2012, learned on New Year’s Eve that their surrogate — who was pregnant with their third and last remaining embryo — had miscarried.

“It was painful,” Giuliana tells PEOPLE. “We were so optimistic with this last embryo. We thought, ‘This is definitely going to work. This is our last shot.’ ”

After welcoming Duke, now 2, the couple had three remaining embryos. Two were successfully implanted in their surrogate in 2014, but unfortunately she miscarried weeks later. The last miscarriage “was the toughest blow,” Giuliana admits. “It was a really hard time.”

But the couple have not given up hope on expanding their family.

“We’re open to everything,” says Giuliana, whose memoir, Going Off Script, hits shelves April 7.

“I think adoption is a beautiful gift you’re giving each other,” she adds. “And it’s funny, I’m even more open to [adoption] than I was before. Because I think to myself, ‘I love Duke so much, if I couldn’t take care of him, I hope there would be someone else who would love him.’ ”

Prior to welcoming Duke via surrogate, Giuliana went through three rounds of IVF treatments before finding out she had breast cancer. The couple put their plans to start a family on hold while Giuliana underwent a double mastectomy.

After beating cancer, the Rancics turned to Delphine, the surrogate who would later deliver Duke.

This week’s cover of In Touch Weekly is George Clooney and Amal Alamuddin-Clooney’s divorce. Obviously. After six long months, they’re over! Except not really. If anything, I bet their marriage is a lot stronger since they relocated to New York. Amal seems happier, her commute to Europe is easier, she’s gotten more jobs, and she was able to separate George from his stand-by crew of dude friends and Cindy and Rande. But In Touch claims that Amal’s diva ‘tude is driving George crazy. Sure. I’ll believe that too.

The Clooneys’ “nightmare” union is over. “He can’t take it anymore… George stormed out after their worst fight ever,” a source tells Us Weekly.

The problem? Amal’s continuing “diva” behavior. George also thinks Amal is being “clingy, jealous and needy.”

George and Amal have been fighting about his career and the time they spend apart because of their careers. They’re also fighting about when to start a family, with Amal telling George “I’m not having a baby.”

One source says, “I wouldn’t be surprised if he drew up divorce papers any day now.”

[From CDL & Gossip Cop]

Obviously, Gossip Cop got a denial on this saying the whole thing is fabricated. I kind of wonder if George was expecting this kind of tabloid gossip with his marriage. I mean, he’s always gotten gossip about his relationships and he’s always handled it with a light touch. I get the feeling that George thought that when he actually got married, the tabloids would ease up a little bit. Instead, it’s like they’re going for the jugular.

Now, all that being said… I do wonder if Amal is going to get pregnant. I do wonder if Amal and George are having a “rocky” first year of marriage. I do wonder if Amal is actually something of a diva. And I do wonder if this whole thing isn’t going to end up in a huge, messy divorce. But the divorce isn’t happening now, people.

View image | gettyimages.com

Photos courtesy of Fame/Flynet, Getty, Pacific Coast News.

I had a free weekend of STARZ last weekend, and I ended up watching about four episodes of the Outlander marathon. Let’s not kid ourselves: this is not a great show. It’s fun, it’s bodice-ripping, it’s silly, and the story makes little to no sense. It’s not “good TV” but it’s watchable. That’s mainly due to the beautiful locations and chemistry between the two leads, Sam Heughan and Caitriona Balfe. They do have a lot of heat together, which is nice. Sam is very good at smoldering while saying some truly absurd lines.

Anyway, the second season premieres this weekend, and there was a big premiere event in NYC last night. Some of you have asked for more (or ANY) coverage of Sam Heughan, so here you go. I’m including lots of photos of Sam plus some pics of Caitriona (her name sounds like a cocktail) and “the other dude,” Tobias Menzies. Tobias plays the husband in 1945 and the bad guy/redcoat in the 19th century. Personally, I think Tobias is a stronger actor than Sam, but I’m guessing the ladies aren’t looking for world-class acting when they’re looking at Sam.

So, Sam Heughan: would you hit it? I would hit it… on the show. He really does smolder on the show. In real life? I don’t know. I’m not really feeling it in these photos.

Photos courtesy of WENN, Fame/Flynet.

Michael Keaton will host this weekend’s episode of SNL, which means I may actually sit down and watch the live episode. I didn’t even do it for The Rock last week, opting instead to catch clip highlights from Dustin Rowles at Pajiba. Keaton shall grace the show with his presence for the third time, so it’s an event. I don’t have massively high hopes for SNL to write good material for Keaton because — hahaha. They’ll do some Beetlejuice stuff and definitely a Batman sketch. I’m still miffed that we didn’t get to hear the promised “weeping, gushing, phony, obnoxious” Oscar speech. Maybe he’ll do that for the monologue.

The episode promos surfaced yesterday. There’s a reference to Keaton getting “robbed.” Keaton also does a Batman voice straight off the bat. It’s not quite the voice Keaton used when he played Batman in the first two movies. This is more like the more exaggerated, Christian Bale version. A video comparing the Keaton and Bale versions is available here. Now for the promo clip.

I don’t want to make too much of this, but I’m not the only one who hears the Bale version, which is several octaves lower than what Keaton did many years ago. Because Bale isn’t known for his subtlety, and he overdoes everything. It’s possible that Keaton could simply be doing a warped variation of the Birdman voice too. But I want this to be shade. Keaton hilariously ruffled some Bat feathers during his Oscar campaign, and he may be poking fun at everyone (including himself) here. Keaton has earned the right to shade. He IS Batman.

Screencaps courtesy of NBC/YouTube; photos courtesy of Fame/Flynet & WENN

Back in 2013, Vanity Fair published a lengthy interview with Mia Farrow and some of her children. The VF story caused a stir for many different reasons, but let’s just focus on the part about Ronan Farrow’s paternity. Ronan apparently believed that Woody Allen was his biological father for much of his life. But! Mia told VF that at the time she conceived Ronan, she was not just sleeping with Woody, but she was also fooling around with her ex-husband Frank Sinatra. As in, Ol’ Blue Eyes could have been Ronan’s biological father.

Frank’s widow said it was a bunch of crap and Ronan barely talked about it beyond saying it was a “ridiculous situation.” It doesn’t seem like Ronan ever got a paternity test or anything, so we really don’t know. But now Roger Friedman of Showbiz 411 spoke to Frank’s daughter Tina Sinatra and Tina says that Frank could not have fathered any child at that point because Frank had a vasectomy. Huh.

Ronan Farrow isn’t Frank Sinatra’s son. Tina Sinatra laughed when I asked if Mia Farrow’s son Ronan (with Woody Allen) was her brother. Mia let that slip in November 2013 and the rumor caught fire.

“Couldn’t be,” Tina told me. “Frank had a vasectomy before that. I don’t know whose son Ronan is.”

Mia Farrow had been invited to the dinner but was a no-show. Tina added that Ronan looks “just like Mia’s late brother.”

[From Showbiz 411]

I think Ronan does look a lot like the Farrow side of the family no matter what. I’ve always been doubtful of his alleged biological connection to Woody Allen because even with those strong Farrow genes, you would expect to see something of Woody Allen’s genes in there, but there’s nothing. Does it follow that Ronan is Frank Sinatra’s son, come hell or high water? Eh. There could be a mystery third potential baby-daddy in the mix too. Maybe Mia was banging her other ex-husband, André Previn? Why not?

View image | gettyimages.com

Photos courtesy of WENN, Getty.

I guess it finally got as bad as it was ever going to get. It looks like Jeremy Renner and Sonni Pacheco have finally finalized their custody arrangement for their daughter, and are very close to wrapping up the terms of their divorce. Last week, we heard that Jeremy Renner’s “roommate” made a declaration to the court, saying that Sonni Pacheco was a terrible mother, that she drinks and does coke, and that Sonni only married Renner to get her green card. There were also claims that Sonni had comprising videos of Renner doing “something,” which Sonni was using to extort a better divorce deal for herself. All of this came after several months of rumors, court filings and public back-and-forth. It was turning out to be a significantly messy custody dispute. But now it’s over? Sort of.

Jeremy Renner and Sonny Pacheco may finally be able to enjoy their breakup in peace. The Oscar-nominated actor and his soon-to-be ex-wife have reached a custody settlement that entails Renner forking over $13,000 a month in child support for their 2-year-old daughter, Ava Berlin Renner.

According to court documents obtained Wednesday by E! News, Ava’s parents will share joint legal and physical custody.

Pacheco had been seeking a hefty hike in her monthly support payments, as well as primary physical custody of Ava; Renner had insisted on joint custody all along. His legal camp had also filed paperwork stating that by signing a prenuptial agreement before they tied the knot, Pacheco had waived her right to seek spousal support.

The settlement filing also stipulates that neither the Hurt Locker star nor Pacheco can “make derogatory or insulting remarks” about the other, a signiifcant other or either of their families in front of Ava. They’re furter restricted from “arguing, yelling or using profanity” directed at each other in front of their child. In addition to the $13,000-a-month and being asked to cover Ava’s health care costs in full, Renner has also been ordered to pay back child support, based on the new terms, of $21,035.

[From E! News]

People Mag also says that Renner still won’t pay any spousal support, just child support. We’ve heard that before about spousal support – Renner made Pacheco sign a pre-nup in which she gave up her right to spousal support no matter what. Still, $13,000 a month is pretty generous. That’s… $156,000 a year. She’ll be able to support herself with that. That being said, I doubt this is over. I feel like Sonni still has some tricks up her sleeve.

Photos courtesy of Fame/Flynet.

At some point, I hope one of the major magazines does a highbrow analysis of how Choupette Lagerfeld, a fluffy white kitty, managed to single-handedly change Karl Lagerfeld’s image. Before Choupette, Karl was known as something of a bitter, almost nasty curmudgeon. But when Choupette came into his life – when he was in his late 70s, for goodness sake – suddenly Karl was humanized. People looked at him and said, “Well, he loves that cat, perhaps he’s not such a bad guy after all.” He’s said that Choupette is like a daughter to him. He has hired a full staff (no joke) just to deal with Choupette and to make sure she’s treated like a princess at all times. Anyway, Karl sat down for an interview with New York Magazine and of course they asked him about Choupette. This part of the interview is so good, it’s the only part I want to excerpt.

So what are you going to suck out of New York?
Nothing. I see nothing, I do nothing, I do everything from my room in the Mercer, working at my desk on things with Choupette keeping me company — I don’t force her, by the way. She comes naturally.

Tell me more about Choupette. Has she changed your life?
It’s a miracle in the story. Choupette was not even given to me. Choupette belonged to a friend of mine who asked if my maid could take care of her for two weeks when he was away. When he came back, he was told that Choupette would not return to him. He got another cat who became fat, and Choupette became the most famous cat in the world, and the richest. She did two jobs and made 3 million euros last year. One was for cars in Germany and the other was for a Japanese beauty product. I don’t allow her to do foodstuffs and things like this. She’s too sophisticated for that. She had something unique. She is like a human being, but the good thing is that she’s silent. You don’t have to discuss it. She hates other animals and she hates children. She stays always with me and she has two personal maids. They play with her, they have to take care of her beautiful white hair, the beauty treatments for her eyes, and they entertain her. She is the center of the world. If you saw her, you would understand. She is kind of Greta Garbo. There is something unforgettable about her, the way she moves, the way she plays. She’s an inspiration for elegance. For attitude.

Has she changed you?
Maybe I became a better person perhaps, I don’t know. Less selfish, I guess? I think it’s grotesque, but what can you do? I believe in the unique. This is not just something to keep me company. It’s only great because of the uniqueness of her.

[From New York Magazine]

I mean… Choupette made 3 million euros last year. WHAT DID YOU DO? Choupette has standards, she will not promote your human-food, peasant. Choupette hates children. Choupette gets eye treatments. Choupette is everything. But here’s what I love: Karl thinks Choupette is one of kind. And she is, to a certain extent, but let’s be real. If we gave Karl a very pretty kitty from the pound, he would fall in love with that cat too. All cat-moms and cat-dads think their kitties are the most unique and special in the world.

Oh, and there’s this quote from Karl too: “Forget about your folklore. I can take a few inspirations, but I can certainly not do an homage. That’s not my trip. I’m a fashion vampire. I take what I need and I leave the rest.” Perfection.

Photos courtesy of WENN, Choupette’s social media.