Last night, during ABC’s red carpet coverage, they made it a point not to ask any women about their dresses. It was part of the #AskHerMore campaign, which Reese Witherspoon and Patricia Arquette referenced (E! also got rid of their manicam), and while it may sound admirable in theory, in practice it seemed ridiculous. As Kaiser wrote earlier, the red carpet fashion and jewels are a billion dollar industry. The dresses are made for free in exchange for publicity. Some of the interviewers were going out of their way to talk about the gowns without asking the designer names. When Lara Spencer spoke with Kerry Washington, she referenced the color of her dress and Kerry proudly volunteered that it was Miu Miu.

Kerry’s styling was so pretty, especially on camera, and it was a lovely dress but there was nothing particularly special or standout about it. Plus it had a peplum! Why?! Miu Miu got the memo about pale colors being in this season, but they’re stuck in trends that needed to die a couple of years ago. Something nice: I love the variegated fern sequins on the top, and the skirt is so pretty with that kind of honeycomb and oval beading.

Speaking of Miu Miu using bad trends that need to go away, here’s Chloe Moretz, in a pretty pleated floral pale strapless gown with incredible details, but look it has pockets! Chloe kept using those pockets, on the red carpet and while she was presenting. Chloe must not read Go Fug Yourself, but she’s just 18, she gets a pass.

Here’s another young attendee, Lorelei Linklater, 20, in Burberry. Lorelei loves goth styles and dark makeup. I know some of you will disagree but I can appreciate this look, probably because it reminds me of my heydey in the 90s. This dress is funky, it’s weird, and I think she’s working it. I hate the fact that the top is see-through with the embroidery for modesty though, it should be a solid color. As I’ve said before she stays true to her style. Plus I have a soft spot for her because I watched her grow up on screen.

photo credit: WENN.com

I’ve combined Felicity Jones and Keira Knightley in posts throughout the awards season, because they’ve disappointed me the whole awards season. Keira used to be such a Fashion Girl. She even got to the point where everything she wore was noteworthy and discussed at length. But that was before the fetus stole her mojo. Keira’s entire red carpet campaign this year has just been… disappointing. A missed opportunity to show off some crazy, awesome maternity styles. Instead, Keira has veered too far into the twee-ness and cutesy crap. Her red carpet Oscar gown was Valentino and… NO. I’m sorry, I can’t with this. I know some of you love it, but I just can’t. The stupid nude tulle, the writing on the dress, the flowers… it’s bad, you guys.

I think Keira knew it was bad too, so she changed into a different Valentino gown for the parties. She should have reversed these gowns – the nude Valentino for the parties and this dark velvet gown for the Oscars.

And here’s the other disappointing British fashion girl Felicity Jones, the only one (??) at the Oscars wearing Sarah Burton for McQueen. It sounded like Sarah Burton customized this gown for Felicity especially, so why is the design so awkward above the waist? Like, I understand the inclination to do a BIG princess dress. This was Felicity’s first Oscar nomination, her first Oscars, why not go big? But from the waist up, I’m sorry, I don’t think this is flattering.

Photos courtesy of WENN.

Don’t cry for Amy Adams and her also-ran Best Actress awards campaign for Big Eyes. She’s not upset about it. If anything, she — like always — is a good sport. One of the best sports, even.

The five-time Oscar nominee (who earned three nods in four years!) didn’t get a…      

Rosamund Pike of course had the better Givenchy look last night, there’s pretty much no question. Rosamund’s crimson gown featured a fan-like bustline, layers of lace, seqyins and embroidery that somehow didn’t look busy and smooth fabric that gave the illusion of cinching her waist. This dress was beautiful, and she didn’t distract from it at all. Her styling was minimal and somehow just right. At yesterday’s Women in Film pre-Oscar party, Pike’s makeup was way underdone and I was worried she would make that mistake again. She didn’t, she just looked natural and fresh. Incredible. One minor complaint: the shoes could be less safe and matchy.

Also in Givenchy, with less success, we have Jessica Chastain. At least she’s wearing a bold color. Chastain’s dress draped down in both the front and back, giving it a kind of toga illusion. The front opened up to a sequin tank in a deeper navy than the rest of the dress. It looks like two different gowns layered on top of each other. The dress hugs Chastain perfectly, but it’s all too cookie cutter somehow. I also wish she would have done something different with her hair. Incredible necklace though, those are Piaget jewels.

photo credit: WENN.com and FameFlynet

Best Director is a major award. It comes near the end. And we all know how it works by now. Normally they ask the legends, the big time big name big deal stars to present.

Ben Affleck.

Has two Oscars: for writing and for producing Argo. NOT for directing Argo though. That was his snub yea…      

As the returning Best Actress winner, attending just to present Best Actor, Cate Blanchett was under no obligation to wow us. But still, she’s Cate Blanchett, a goddess walking among us. Of course we believed that she was going to look amazing. And I think she did! Cate wore this Maison Margiela by John Galliano. Galliano is one of her favorite designers, and she has a history of wearing Galliano’s designs to the Oscars in particular. Even after Galliano’s troubles several years ago, he’s kept the loyalty of several big-name fashionistas, and I have to say… this dress makes me miss Galliano’s designs. The gown is understated without being boring. It suits Cate perfectly. The details are interesting (the fringe at the shoulder!) and the cut is flawless.

Cate paired her simple black gown with a big turquoise statement necklace from Tiffany’s. That was it. That was her only piece of jewelry. I kind of like how undone it is, but I wouldn’t have minded seeing some earrings. The big necklace was a trend last night too, and I think Cate was one of the best examples of it. Also: she seemed almost tender and motherly with Eddie Redmayne. She gave him such a big hug when he won!

Meryl Streep wore this custom-made Lanvin which is kind of boring, but it’s Meryl and she’s done this literally fifty million times, so she probably just wanted to be comfortable. I’m sort of surprised that her husband Don came out!

This is going to sound rude but I honestly mean it as a compliment: I love Oprah when she’s bigger. Truly. I think she looks so beautiful these days. Oprah was one of the producers on Selma, so she got the Oscars invite and she came out in this petal-pink Vera Wang gown, custom-made. I think she looks great, right?

Photos courtesy of WENN.

It’s almost like you can write the script yourself by now, right? Kerry Washington will show up probably perfectly on time. Her dress will be in a shade of pink or purple or mauve. This time it was champagne blush that had her join ranks with Zoe Saldana and Viola Davis to create a co…      

Sort of.

There are some people who show up to the Vanity Fair Oscar party every year, doesn’t matter if they’ve been to the main show or now. Diane Kruger. If you can get an invitation, you go. Because then everyone knows you got an invitation and there’s always work to be d…      

I always hear of so-called fashion experts throwing shade at Elie Saab’s made-for-the-red-carpet designs, but I defend the Elie Saab fashion house most of the time. Do the dresses all seem rather frothy and same-y? Sure. But the gowns are usually flattering, wearable, pretty and the ladies who wear Elie Saab usually seem very happy with their choice. Not everyone should or can wear Dior, you know? And I have to think that Emma Stone – one of the brightest fashionista stars on the red carpet these days – choosing to wear Elie Saab will bring the fashion house some new respect.

Emma’s gown has some elements that I would hate in other dresses – it’s deceptively simple, it’s a weird yellow-green celery color that reminds me of bile, and it’s the overdone beading-on-sheer style. But you know what? I actually really like this on Emma in particular. It’s different on her, the bile color actually works (likely because her hair is darker), and the sleeves are done really well. I think the look would have been stronger without the leg slit though.

Also: Emma jumped on Jennifer Aniston on the red carpet. Who knew they were tight?

So, now that I defended the house of Elie Saab, I have to show you the worst example of it on the Oscars red carpet. Here’s Jennifer Lopez in Elie Saab. This looks like a dozen other dresses she’s worn in her life. It’s too princess-y and it’s too BIG. It takes up too much space. It’s sort of a blah color on J.Lo too. And while I think Jennifer is a beautiful, glamorous woman, I get tired of her always bringing out her ladies.

Photos courtesy of WENN.

This is ridiculous.

It looks like what I can only refer to as ‘cyberwear’. The kind of thing you would get at the mall from Le Chateau, in pleathers and PVCs, as popularized by Angelina Jolie in Hackers and ideally worn with cobalt blue eyeliner.

So why do I love it so much?
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