There are four things the new Princess of Wales loves more than anything. One, grabbing a dead woman’s jewelry before the body is cold. Two, cosplaying her dead mother-in-law. Three, copykeening her Black sister-in-law. Four, dressing up like a Victorian ghost. Well, on Friday, Kate got the chance to channel a Victorian ghost when she and William visited an Army Training Center in Surrey. As Princess of Wales, Kate has to adhere to the “mourning period” dress code, which means black hosiery, black shoes and black outfits. Queen Camilla has worn all black as well, only Camilla actually looks, you know, like a modern woman in 2022. Kate looks like she’s cosplaying an emotionally disturbed cousin in an E.M. Forster novel. Once again, Kate is wearing earrings which belonged to QEII. I also did a button count because I just can’t help myself. There are 14 buttons on Sgt. Keen’s coat. *sigh*

Meanwhile, there are rumors that the first tour the new Prince and Princess of Wales will undertake is a trip to Australia. They haven’t been in Oz since 2014. They got an okay reception in Australia back then, but it was nothing like the wall-to-wall success of the Sussexes’ South Pacific Tour in 2018.

Talks are under way to send the Prince and Princess of Wales – and their family – on an official tour Down Under next year, Australia’s prime minister has confirmed.

Anthony Albanese said that a royal visit is on the cards for William and Kate – and it is hoped that they will bring their children George, Charlotte and Louis, probably during the school holidays. Discussions on when the new King will make his first official visit to Australia as head of state have not begun. Mr Albanese told ITV: ‘There have been some preliminary discussions about the now Prince and Princess of Wales visiting Australia. And of course the Royal Family have always been welcome visitors here in Australia and they would be again.’

The last time William and Kate visited Australia was in 2014. They took along nine-month-old Prince George, whose popularity was such that he was dubbed the ‘republican slayer’.

Asked if that status made him ‘nervous’ to extend the invitation to the couple’s children, Mr Albanese said the young royals were more than welcome. ‘I think I would hope that if they visit, they bring their children with them,’ he added.

Mr Albanese, who will meet the King this weekend ahead of Monday’s funeral, has not ruled out holding a referendum on the republic if he is re-elected. But he said it was ‘inappropriate’ to discuss it while commemorating the Queen.

[From The Daily Mail]

Yeah, as we’ve discussed before, Albanese isn’t a monarchist. He’s actually taken the first steps towards eventually making Australia a republic. If and when that happens, it will likely be by a national referendum vote. Albanese is being smart about a royal tour too – the way things have been going, by next year, William and Kate’s Oz tour will make their Caribbean Flop Tour look like a walk in the park.

Photos courtesy of Cover Images.

Genuinely surprised to see that some of Don’t Worry Darling’s cast came out for last night’s New York premiere. As I said earlier, it seemed like DWD’s promotion had become “The Olivia Wilde Show,” considering she was doing a lot of solo appearances and she’s the one on magazine covers. Obviously, Chris Pine and Florence Pugh didn’t come to the premiere. Florence’s excuse is that she’s filming Dune 2 in Europe. Pine’s excuse is that the last time he made an appearance on behalf of DWD, Harry Styles spat on him.

Meanwhile, Gemma Chan came out for the premiere, and she wore a surprisingly good Louis Vuitton dress. I generally think LV does Gemma dirty, but this is lovely. It’s hard to mess it up when you’re dealing with someone as beautiful as Gemma.

Dita Von Teese turned up to the premiere, wearing a completely normal Jenny Packham. This isn’t retro at all?

Bonus Nick Kroll:

Olivia Wilde wore Saint Laurent, and Harry Styles wore Gucci. We haven’t heard much about them as a “couple” since the Venice debacle, where the rest of the cast had to take pains to keep Florence Pugh, Olivia and Harry separate. It was definitely a weird vibe – Florence had every reason to avoid Olivia, but the fact that Olivia and Harry weren’t photographed side-by-side was… odd. At the New York premiere, they once again avoided posing side-by-side, although they did interact briefly (and coldly) on the carpet. Ten bucks says they announce a split in October.

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Photos courtesy of Getty, Backgrid.

Do you ever get the sense that the general public cares about the Cambridge/Wales children’s welfare more than the children’s parents care about their welfare? It’s no secret that Prince George, Princess Charlotte and Prince Louis were brought out way too often during the Jubbly in June. Louis especially – he was too young and too antsy to be out in public for hour upon hour of boring-ass Jubbly events. It was clear then that Prince William and Kate will do anything to keep the focus on their children, at the expense of everyone else (especially Harry and Meghan, at least that’s what Will and Kate hope). So it was again for QEII’s funeral.

We found out late Sunday that the “courtiers” had gotten their way and convinced the Waleses to bring Prince George to his grandmother’s state funeral, all eleventy billion hours of it. We also learned that someone had pushed the idea that both George and Charlotte needed to come. Something about the line of succession and the public needing to see that everything was in safe hands. So two small children – one seven-year-old and one nine-year-old – had to be thoroughly exposed all the way through a state funeral at Westminster Abbey AND Windsor Castle for hours and hours.

Looking back on the entire day, it would have been so much smarter to not have George and Charlotte at the Abbey, but let them come out for the Windsor Castle service. I mean, the kids “live” in Windsor now – surely Nanny Maria could have discreetly brought them over to the castle for the second part of the funeral? But no, we had to watch as two little kids tried to process the death of their great-grandmother, the Queen, in public at her state funeral. At one point, Charlotte told George when to bow. At another point, Charlotte seemed to cry and get very emotional. And Kate still didn’t drop her mob-boss-widow veneer.

There are also a few photos of Charlotte – who was seated next to her Uncle Harry – looking over at both Harry and Meghan with a good deal of curiosity. I genuinely wonder what those kids have overheard from their parents. Last thing: Charlotte wore a small diamond horseshoe brooch, a gift from her great-grandmother.

Charlotte, who wore a touching horseshoe brooch, gifted to her by the queen, was seen visibly upset as she wiped her eyes outside of the church in London, England.https://t.co/HVPhZxjt75

— Entertainment Tonight (@etnow) September 19, 2022

Photos courtesy of Avalon Red, Cover Images.

As I’ve now said endlessly, as soon as Queen Elizabeth II passed away, the new king and new Prince of Wales began a campaign of leaking and briefing against the Duke and Duchess of Sussex. Their focus on Harry and Meghan was disturbing, and it reached a bizarre crescendo over the weekend, when Roya Nikkah at the Times and Camilla Tominey at the Telegraph both got similar-sounding briefings from Kensington Palace. Those briefings were almost solely about Prince William and Prince Harry’s relationship and how nothing significant has changed and how Harry really, really needs to “cancel” the publication of his memoir. If anything, Tominey’s Telegraph piece was even more unhinged than the Times piece. Some highlights:

Does King Charles III see a way back for the Sussexes? A former royal aide pointed out: “It’s simply not the King’s style to do anything that would alienate either of his children. He loves them both deeply and has been devastated by everything that has happened.” His offer to Harry to be able to wear his Blues and Royals uniform at Saturday evening’s poignant event is evidence of his desire to “bring Harry back in” despite the family’s fears over his forthcoming memoirs.

The Windsors are currently riding an all-time high? Meghan has also shelved her Archetypes podcast for six weeks and cancelled a planned appearance on The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon. But will it be enough to persuade a public that has already somewhat fallen out of favour with their unique brand of royal oversharing? And can they really afford to carry on attacking an institution in mourning, when sympathy for the Royal family is currently at an all-time high?

Harry should be grateful that he wasn’t snubbed harder: Far from treating them as outcasts, the so-called men in grey suits have given them a ringseat seat. Since Harry has been afforded every courtesy as the King’s son, it surely now behooves him to behave courteously back.

Ah, yes, the Sussexes are out of touch: So if the couple now revert to being overly critical of their nearest and dearest, they are going to look even more out of touch and bitter than they do already. Little wonder, then, that there has even been talk of the book, ghost-written by Pulitzer Prize winning author J. R. Moehringer, being canned altogether – although having already been submitted and approved by lawyers, that seems highly unlikely.

William is “still seething”: The pressure is also on the Prince of Wales – still seething over the way he and Kate have been treated – to seize the moment. If there was ever an opportunity for reconciliation then this week surely presents it. Yet it seems William and Kate are unable to move on until Harry and Meghan at least “acknowledge” the hurt they have caused – let alone apologise for it. As one source close to the couple explained: “They feel that Oprah crossed a line and that someone should acknowledge the motives behind it and the pain it caused. They feel they’ve had to be steely to send a message that you cannot just say this hugely upsetting stuff without there being consequences.”

[From The Telegraph]

Again, let’s be perfectly clear: Prince William and his clownshow aides have been nakedly briefing about and against Harry and Meghan for weeks/months, and the sum total of the message William WANTS out there is that “William is still seething and Harry needs to apologize!” Apologize for what? For the Oprah interview, wherein Harry soft-pedaled specific criticisms of his brother and instead showed open disgust with the way their father treated him? Or the way Meghan – at long last – corrected Kate’s unhinged and incessant narrative that Meghan made Kate cry? Hit dogs holler and it should deeply concern the new king that his heir is running around, telling on himself and being such a racist, incandescent pig.

Photos courtesy of Avalon Red, Cover Images.

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I, for one, am enjoying Paulina Porizkova rewriting the handbook on how to be a woman over 50. She’s not only posting her selfies and nearly nudes, she’s talking about cracks, crevices, aches, pains and menopause. I love that more women are allowing aging and sexiness to co-exist. Paulina’s latest IG post is one that’s close to my heart because it’s about maintaining body strength after menopause. The video, above, is of Paulina working out and her caption talks about how she’s had to change her workout since the Big M came ’round. Because it aggravated former injuries, she was unable to do her old routines. Between that and the other issues that come with age, as Pauline said,
“staying in shape after menopause takes a lot of frickin’ work.”

Paulina Porizkova is not letting her age get in the way of her fitness journey.
On Tuesday, the actress and model, 57, posted a video on Instagram showing off her workout routine, detailing what exercise looks like for her since going through menopause. In the clip, which was paired with Sia’s “Unstoppable,” she hits the gym with her trainer and works on arm and back exercises.

“Staying in shape after menopause takes a lot of frickin’ work. Especially when you have wonky hips,” Porizkova wrote in the caption. “I’ve had to cut down on my Pilates since I came back for the jungle shooting #beyondtheedge because my hips won’t cooperate. What I’m doing instead, for now, is some serious PT. I found an amazing personal trainer at my local Crunch, Shelly, who alternates hip PT with strength training.”

The former supermodel admitted that because of her constant traveling, her results are inconsistent — but she’s going to continue doing the work.

“So, yes, there are drawbacks to aging,” Porizkova said. “One has to work a lot harder on things that were taken for granted. On the outside. On the inside, however, all the hard work already done is finally paying off.”

She adds, “I may not be as strong or as supple or as smooth as in my youth, but I am comfortable with my vulnerabilities, conscious of my weaknesses, proud of my strengths – and best of all, have the wisdom to put it all together and delight in the results. #betweenjloandbettywhite #workingout #unstoppable #strength #agingaintforsissies.”

[From People]

I realize some of this is unrelatable. I, for example, have not just returned from the jungle shooting a campaign. Nor was I ever beautiful enough to get printwork, let alone in my 50s. But the concepts of body changes and old injuries coming back to haunt us are a consistent theme in aging. It is hard to stay strong. Especially when old workout routines or habits either don’t work or prove too difficult to perform. It’s easy to say, ‘get a trainer to find a routine that work for you.’ But it’s certainly not easy to afford a trainer.

The takeaway from Paulina’s comments is to be understanding with yourself. If the old ways aren’t working, listen to your body and look for some new exercises. Maybe it’s time for yoga over Pilates or Zumba over spin. Maybe you can’t push the same weights you did before so start incorporating more exercises that use your own body’s resistance. And, because nature is so very cruel, your goal might take longer. Be patient. The whole point of getting stronger is to allow you the time to enjoy it.

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The youths don’t know about Adam Levine’s messy romantic history. Adam has been “settled down” with his wife Behati Prinsloo since 2013. That’s when they got engaged, and they married one year later. Their courtship was shambolic – he went from Anne V to Behati very quickly, then he dumped Behati and immediately started up with Nina Agdal, then he had a wild weekend with Behati (while he was with Nina), then he dumped Nina via text and suddenly he and Behati were back on and engaged. We would hear rumors here and there that the marriage was in trouble and, let’s face it, Adam Levine has always reeked of cheater-douche. But Behati keeps popping out babies, and she’s currently pregnant with their third.

All of that was background for this insane story. So, Behati is pregnant. Enter Sumner Stroh, a 23-year-old Instagram model. On Monday, Sumner posted the TikTok below. In the TikTok, she claims that she had an affair with Levine but she was young and she didn’t know he was married. She says it was a “manipulative” situation. Well, the affair has been over for months (?) and out of the blue, Levine contacted her. He wanted to know if she would be okay with it if he and Behati named their third child Sumner. My goodness…

Instagram model says she had an affair with married Maroon 5 frontman Adam Levine.

Stroh shares screenshots of Levine asking if he could name his unborn third child with supermodel Behati Prinsloo after her. pic.twitter.com/glsXHgAfKF

— Pop Crave (@PopCrave) September 19, 2022

I have always known – without question – that Adam Levine is completely sleazy and a cheater. The fact that he’s been hitting up Instagram models and carrying on behind Behati’s back isn’t surprising, but it is appalling. Even if a dude is a known cheater, it still f–king sucks when he cheats on his wife of eight years who is currently pregnant with their third child! And what kind of deranged lunatic wants to name their child after their mistress?

Now, all of that being said… Sumner Stroh sounds like a piece of work too. Birds of a feather, right? I think people might have gone along with the idea that she “didn’t know” he was married, but the fact that she was sharing Levine’s texts to her friends? And one of those friends was about to sell her out and that’s why she “had” to make the TikTok? I’m sorry, she’s a tacky, clout-chasing a–hole, even if that clout is from an “elevator music” band.

Photos courtesy of Backgrid.

I had a theory that someone – perhaps the Sussexes’ nanny – flew Archie and Lilibet to England last week and no one had any idea about it or else the information would have been leaked by the Windsors. I’m probably wrong though – reportedly, Doria Ragland was seen out in Montecito, so it’s likely that she was staying with the kids this whole time. In which case, Harry and Meghan didn’t see their kids for two-and-a-half weeks. Prince Harry and Meghan flew to England on September 2nd or 3rd. They originally intended to be back in Montecito on the 9th, but then QEII passed away on the 8th. Thus, they spent the past ten days “captured” by the Windsors, having every public outing analyzed to the point where the Mail literally ran a breaking-news banner headline about Harry breathing. Harry’s father and brother were also openly briefing against them the entire time, while also attempting to snub them on a global stage. So here we are: hopefully, the Sussexes are flying out today.

Harry and Meghan stayed in the UK last night after reuniting with the royals to mourn the Queen but are expected to leave for California ‘as soon as they can’ after not seeing Archie and Lilibet for nearly three weeks.

The Sussexes arrived in Britain on September 3 for the first time since the Queen’s Platinum Jubilee in June. They expected to stay only briefly but with the news Her Majesty was ill Prince Harry cancelled his appearance at the WellChild Awards in London and rushed to Balmoral.

Although the Duchess of Sussex did not join him in Scotland, she was by his side for a series of official events over the 10-day period of mourning, including the funeral yesterday.

The Sussexes were reported at the weekend to be planning to fly back to the US as soon as they could, although informed sources last night told The Times that the couple were still in the UK.

[From The Daily Mail]

If they managed to bring their kids into England without the entire British media establishment being the wiser, it would have been the biggest F-You to the mangy royals and the desperate press. But again, I don’t know. I’m just hoping and praying that everyone gets home safe to Montecito and that there are no more last-minute emergencies which Harry has to tend to. He and Meghan gave these a–holes enough, more than enough. I hope it’s a long-ass time before either of them return.

Photos courtesy of Avalon Red, Cover Images.

I genuinely don’t know what the original promotional plan for Don’t Worry Darling was, but I have to believe that it wasn’t “Olivia Wilde goes out solo repeatedly to make an ass out of herself.” I haven’t seen Gemma Chan, Chris Pine or Florence Pugh do one dedicated interview for DWD, although Harry Styles has done some interviews to promote the film, plus his tour plus his other film, My Policeman. Still, DWD’s promo has become The Olivia Wilde Show.

Olivia actually had a one-week reprieve last week, when most gossip outlets were focused on the Toronto International Film Festival and Queen Elizabeth II’s death. Olivia managed to squeak by without too much backlash for her completely f–king bonkers Vanity Fair cover story, which mimicked the lies she told to Variety. In the rare moments when she could have actually clarified or apologized for her lies, she’s smugly pontificated about how the DWD shambles is all some gossip conspiracy or something. Meanwhile, Florence won’t do any promotion, and neither will Chris Pine.

So here’s Olivia, going solo this past weekend at the San Sebastian Film Festival. She’s the only person from DWD to show up. For the photocall, she wore a ‘70s-style dress from Kwaidan Editions. For the premiere, she wore a green Valentino. I actually like the bold print, I just think she styled it poorly? I hate to say it, but this would have been the moment to do a center part with pin-straight hair, leaning into the ‘70s vibe. The Valentino is meh to me too – I hate this recent design element to cut the bust so narrow, all to expose some side-boob or whatever.

Meanwhile, Don’t Worry Darling opens this week. Some prognosticators are trying to say that all of the drama around the film will help the box office. I’m not so sure.

Photos courtesy of Backgrid, Cover Images.

The Prince and Princess of Wales were seemingly persuaded to bring Prince George and Princess Charlotte to QEII’s funeral today. No one was expecting that a few days ago, then suddenly the Mail reported that “courtiers” thought it would be a good idea to stress the line of succession at QEII’s funeral. George is only 9 years old, Charlotte is only 7 years old. Way too young for a state funeral, in my opinion. Charlotte and George walked alongside their parents, with the Wessexes and Sussexes following them in the final procession into Westminster Abbey.

As for the new Princess of Wales… she styled herself a lot like Prince Philip’s funeral. She even wore the same pearl-and-diamond necklace/choker. I believe her jewelry is all from QEII or the Royal Collection. Kate’s hat is very big but I thought she would style herself to be more attention-grabbing, honestly. As for the Duchess of Sussex, she wore a sleek look – a simple, somewhat fitted black dress, below the knees, with a built-in cape. She looked elegant and beautiful. I’m sure the haters are mad about it.

Photos courtesy of Avalon Red.

Here are more photos of the Princess of Wales and her two oldest children. Kate traveled to Westminster Abbey (from Buckingham Palace) with Charlotte and George, plus Queen Camilla. Charlotte was made to wear a little hat, but George didn’t have to. I don’t get the hat thing honestly – the military men remove their hats as a sign of respect to their fallen queen, but the women (and even girls) are expected to wear hats and veils even in church.

Once again, just like at Prince Philip’s funeral, it felt like Kate organized some “glamour shots” of her mourning look. It was more obvious at Philip’s funeral, especially because there seemed to be a special photographer there dedicated to taking glamour shots. This time, the photos are just from outside of the Palace, and Kate was positioned particularly to give photographers the shots of her necklace and veil. Fashion note: people think that Kate is wearing McQueen, because she has strikingly similar McQueen coats in different colors.

Oh, I double-checked on Kate’s necklace – this is absolutely the same necklace she borrowed from the Royal Collection for Philip’s funeral. I believe those earrings are also borrowed from the Royal Collection too. Again, she’s been wearing pieces from QEII ever since Liz passed. It was seriously the first thing Kate did – she raided the jewelry.

Photos courtesy of Avalon Red, Cover Images.