Meghan McCain is a columnist for the Daily Mail, and I try to never read her crap. I’m aware that she wrote something bonkers about the Duchess of Sussex’s Archetypes podcast, but I’d just like to avoid it completely? Like, Meghan McCain is awful, don’t make me read that sh-t. However, I did end up reading Jan Moir’s column this week, also in the Mail. It seems like the Mail activated all of their columnists this week to pontificate on Archetypes. Moir – who is white, old and terrible – latches on to Meghan’s story about the fire in Archie’s South African nursery and Moir makes the kind of unhinged leap you can never see coming. Moir’s argument highlights an undercurrent in the coverage about Meghan’s story too, which is that Meghan should have been grateful, uncomplaining and eager to be used as an inclusivity prop by the crown, even as her own child was under mortal threat. Oh, and if you read the first highlighted excerpt carefully, Moir refers to Meghan as a “mutt.” Some truly appalling highlights from Moir’s column:

On the Sussexes adopting a beagle: Oh dear. It is charming that the duchess believes herself to be a no-introduction-needed, one-name ultra-celebrity in the same league as Oprah, Adele, Beyonce and Kermit, but the truth is that for many Americans, she stubbornly remains anonymous rather than mononymous. Still, how lovely to open up her home to another dumb mutt with barking issues. Just imagine poor Mamma Mia, whimpering around the Montecito mansion, paws over her silky ears, as Meghan recounts one more bloody time how she wrote to Procter & Gamble about its sexist washing-up advert.

Archetypes is the #1 podcast in at least six countries: After the podcast was launched, the Duchess could have been forgiven for thinking: ‘Why do I bother?’ All she got for her efforts was a giant raspberry and a torrent of abuse from reviewers who called her podcast everything from ‘preposterous’ to ‘a parade of banalities’.

No fire: Even unofficial royal sources discreetly weighed in, insisting that, although recollections may vary, they did not recall a nursery actually being on fire. Wait, what? There was a nursery on fire?! Meghan told Serena the terrifying tale of ‘a fire in the baby’s room’ during their South African tour in 2019, and how appalled she was at having to carry on with their royal schedule instead of cancelling everything in order to comfort Archie, who wasn’t in the room that may not have been on fire anyway. Yes, there was an incident. Perhaps someone left their smalls out to dry on a radiator and a bit of a singe ensued? This left Meghan not with a smoking gun but with a smoking sock instead, although one can understand her initial fear and reaction.

How dare a new mother be upset about a deadly threat to her child: Yet her horror at being expected to keep calm and carry on when no emergency occurred perfectly illustrates how Meghan fatally confused being royal with being famous. If you are a rock star or a film star, you are very much the sun in your own orbit; everything revolves around you. Being a royal is almost the exact opposite. You represent the monarchy, not yourself. You are a cipher, an emissary of the crown, serving your country and not your own needs. You facilitate diplomatic and trade links while fostering investment opportunities. You also comfort the oppressed and recognise their suffering at every opportunity — because that is what duchesses do.

Meghan should be grateful she’s not the victim of Apartheid: If Meghan had got her way, the Sussexes’ trip to Cape Town’s historic District Six neighbourhood would have been axed following the fire scare. The couple went to meet people who were forcibly relocated from there to the townships during the Apartheid era — black South Africans who were stripped of their land and homes, then dumped in racially segregated developments far from the city. Many still live in these areas, in houses made of corrugated tin and cardboard. Imagine these people, who had lost and suffered so much, waiting with dignity in the afternoon heat for this long-planned meeting with the royal couple — only to be told at short notice that they weren’t coming after all because Meghan needed some post-stress me-time.

[From The Daily Mail]

The Apartheid conversation was what shocked me the most, because these racist a–holes literally have no idea what they’re really saying, nor have they absorbed what Meghan was saying. Meghan and Serena’s conversation was about ambition, of course, but it was also about how they were dehumanized as Black women. They were talking about the lack of care, the lack of understanding, the lack of grace they have been given in life and in motherhood. Meghan was saying: my child could have died and I was expected to just carry on like nothing happened, no acknowledgement for the baby, or me or Harry. At the same time, Moir is saying, look, here are Black people who have been dehumanized for decades, why are you complaining? Moir is saying blatantly that this “mutt” should have been grateful to be used as a prop by the crown. In South Africa. The fact that Moir flatly calls her a mutt too… holy f–k. These people are repulsive.

Photos courtesy of Avalon Red, Backgrid, Instar.

The Duke and Duchess of Sussex will probably be in the UK for about three full days in September. They will be in Manchester on September 5th, then in London on September 8th. One could argue that they’ll stop in Windsor on September 7th and maybe stay the night at Frogmore Cottage after their one-day trip to Germany for an Invictus Games event. This visit has already received a great deal of coverage in the British media, because while Salt Island likes to scream about how the Sussexes are “over,” those same people are obsessing over every little detail about the Ones Who Got Away. Salt Island is the spurned lover in this scenario, constantly cyber-stalking the Sussexes and trying not to sound jealous and contemptuous of how thoroughly the Sussexes have moved on. Take, for example, the Mail Plus’s Palace Confidential round-table, where the usual royal reporters sat around and seethed about the upcoming visit.

The Duke and Duchess of Sussex’s trip to Europe next month will be about ‘having their cake and eating it’, believes Sarah Vine. The Mail columnist told our royal talkshow Palace Confidential that the trip will be a chance for the pair to fulfil their dream of picking and choosing their duties.

‘The working royals are on quite a punishing schedule of day-to-day stuff, most of which doesn’t get any coverage, most of which isn’t very glamorous, most of which doesn’t involve wearing very expensive earrings and necklaces and saying very meaningful things about poor people, which is what Meghan likes to do,’ she tells the programme.

‘They don’t have to do that any more: They can come in, sweep in, get lots of coverage and then they can go home.’Royal correspondent and author Victoria Murphy says it marks a step on the road to the new life that they have planned. ‘Despite the criticism that they get, they have kind of achieved what they want, because they are now doing the things they want to do in the way that they want to do them and they have that control,’ she says. ‘And because of their past roles and their links to the Royal Family they will always be relevant.’

This week social media has been awash with rumours that the Sussexes will renew their vows as part of a new Netflix reality show. Charlotte Griffiths, The Mail on Sunday’s editor at large, says it’s so outlandish that it just might be true.‘It sounds so unrealistic, but the truth is stranger than fiction when it comes to these two,’ she says.

‘They probably have a lot of resentment around the wedding time, because of course there were all these dramas going on backstage, plus they need some interesting Netflix content, because footage of them at the WellChild awards is all very well, but they’ve got to have that Kardashian thing, that set-piece.’

[From The Mail Plus]

I hadn’t even heard the “vow renewal” story but it sounds very much like a rumor started by Derangers and picked up by the Royal Rota. Anyway, it’s nice to have faves who are happily married to the point where they would conceivably be up for a vow renewal. I’ve heard that a different royal duchess doesn’t even live with her duke? I wonder if these hens will cover that rumor? As for “having their cake” and “achieving what they want,” as I said… seething. How dare Meghan wear nice jewelry and do charity work and get wall-to-wall coverage for her charity work? Doesn’t she know that royals are supposed to be boring and unmemorable? I seem to remember a different duchess wearing a sh-tload of expensive jewelry when she deigns to do a handful of charity appearances every year too, almost like that other duchess has to be BRIBED with jewelry, horse-hair wiglets and button-slathered coatdresses to do any work at all.

Photos courtesy of Avalon Red, Backgrid.

Top Gun: Maverick is now the sixth highest-grossing film in history. It crossed the $1.4 billion mark recently & it’s still in theaters! [LaineyGossip]
Look Both Ways is Sliding Doors for Gen Z. [Pajiba]
As someone who follows tennis, I think OMG Blog would enjoy looking at photos of Borna Coric, Matteo Berrettini and Stefanos Tsistipas. [OMG Blog]
I truly want to pretend that LOTR: The Rings of Power doesn’t exist. [GFY]
Succession Season 4 casting news! [JustJared]
Pink sauce is being mass-produced. *hork* [Dlisted]
Dua Lipa plays with falcons for YSL. [Egotastic]
Love During Lockup update: someone’s back in lockup. [Starcasm]
Is this Moschino coat too busy? I can’t decide. [Tom & Lorenzo]
Florida voters ousted two anti-abortion judges. [Buzzfeed]
Russia is committing war crimes against Ukraine. [Towleroad]

As we discussed on Tuesday, in the Duchess of Sussex’s Archetypes podcast, she told a story about Archie. Serena Williams had told Meghan a story about her daughter Olympia falling out of the high chair when she was just a baby and breaking her wrist. Then Meghan shared the story about Archie in South Africa, and the fire in his nursery. Archie was supposed to go down for a nap but his nanny had taken him to the kitchen for a snack when a fire broke out in the nursery. Meghan’s exact wording was, “the heater in the nursery caught on fire. There was no smoke detector. Someone happened to just smell smoke down the hallway went in, fire extinguished.” Meghan said that she and Harry were told to simply continue on to the next event, which they did. Meghan asked the team to tell people that something happened with Archie but they didn’t because the optics were too important. Well, obviously, Salt Island would like everyone to know that there was no fire. There was just…smoke.

Archie, then four months old, was not in the room in Cape Town when a heater started to smoke – but the incident left the Duchess of Sussex ‘shaken’ and ‘in tears’, she told tennis star Serena Williams in her new podcast. Others are understood to recall the incident which took place on September 23, 2019 – and while they do not remember there actually being a fire, the heater was certainly smoking and was unplugged and dealt with.

Despite the upset, Meghan said in the Spotify podcast released yesterday that she was obliged to continue with official engagements, accusing those running the tour of concentrating on ‘how it looks, instead of how it feels’.

And sources have defended the Duchess over the incident, saying it would have understandably caused concern to any parent. The Sussexes were subsequently moved to different accommodation as the tour continued. There would undoubtedly have been an expectation for Harry and Meghan to go on with their engagements after months of planning on the ground – but as senior royals, the couple would have had the final say on continuing.

And one source told the Daily Telegraph that any announcement about Archie being at risk of fire – or having to cancel an event where they spoke to people about Apartheid – would have overshadowed the couple’s work.

[From The Daily Mail]

Palace aides were sent out to the Daily Mail to nitpick Meghan’s story. I can’t believe the palace wants to play this game, and play it so badly. Anything to discredit Meghan, even claiming that a heater was smoking but that doesn’t mean there was a FIRE! Archie was five months old, for the love of God. Keep in mind that this was the fall of 2019 – it had been one full year of the most deranged, most obvious and most vile smear campaign I’ve ever seen waged against one person. Meghan felt under siege, for good reason. She was under siege. Of course she was super-emotional about her child’s nursery catching fire. Oh, pardon me, smoking!

Photos courtesy of Avalon Red, Backgird.

Olivia Wilde covers the latest issue of Variety, which is a preview of the Venice Film Festival. Don’t Worry Darling, Wilde’s second directorial feature film, will premiere in Venice. This interview is actually something of a “get” for Variety – this is the first time Olivia has spoken about hiring Harry Styles for DWD, about the rumors of a feud with Florence Pugh and about Jason Sudeikis sending a process server to CinemaCon to serve Olivia with papers dealing with custody of their two children. Olivia says many of the right things about feminism, about white feminism, about the ingrained bias against women in Hollywood. I still feel like something is slightly “off” about… a few things. She doesn’t really address the Pugh rumors head on (and Pugh notably did not offer quotes for this profile) but she does compliment Pugh and her performance. She complains about internet gossip ten minutes after she refers to being served as “vicious” and “sabotage.” Dramatique! Some highlights from this Variety story:

Being served with custody papers at CinemaCon: “It was my workplace. In any other workplace, it would be seen as an attack. It was really upsetting. It shouldn’t have been able to happen. There was a huge breach in security, which is really scary. The hurdles that you had to jump through to get into that room with several badges, plus special COVID tests that had to be taken days in advance, which gave you wristbands that were necessary to gain access to the event — this was something that required forethought.”

She carried on with her presentation after being served: “I hated that this nastiness distracted from the work of so many different people and the studio that I was up there representing. To try to sabotage that was really vicious. But I had a job to do; I’m not easily distracted. But, you know, sadly, it was not something that was entirely surprising to me. I mean, there’s a reason I left that relationship.”

The children suffered because she was served? “The only people who suffered were my kids, because they’ll have to see that, and they shouldn’t ever have to know that happened. For me, it was appalling, but the victims were an 8- and 5-year-old, and that’s really sad. I chose to become an actress; I willingly walked into the spotlight. But it’s not something my children have asked for. And when my kids are dragged into it, it’s deeply painful.”

Her children: When Wilde is with her children, she’s entirely with her children, she says. She makes breakfast every morning, never misses bedtime and takes them to school herself. “They are my world. They are my best friends.”

The story of ‘Don’t Worry Darling’: “I was looking for a way to tell a story about what happens when someone is willing to sacrifice a system that serves them in order to do the right thing. I was also thinking a lot about my place in society as someone who could rage against the patriarchy but in many ways totally benefits from it. Science fiction has a long history in film of allowing for political issues to be spoken out through entertaining narratives,” she says. “I don’t enjoy or feel inspired by stories that oversimplify feminism. It’s so much more complicated.” At the same time, Wilde didn’t want her next film to feel in any way “preachy.”

Hiring Florence Pugh for the lead role: “I had been blown the f–k away by her. I loved the film, but I loved her. I was just like, ‘Well, she’s extraordinary. She’s clearly the most exciting young actress working today.’”

The report that Harry Styles was paid three times more than Pugh: Wilde denies that, saying in an email later, “There has been a lot out there that I largely don’t pay attention to. But the absurdity of invented clickbait and subsequent reaction regarding a nonexistent pay disparity between our lead and supporting actors really upset me. I’m a woman who has been in this business for over 20 years, and it’s something that I have fought for myself and others, especially being a director. There is absolutely no validity to those claims.” Beyond that, neither Wilde nor Pugh has bothered to comment on the tabloid-driven feud.

On her relationship with Styles: “I’m not going to say anything about it because I’ve never seen a relationship benefit from being dragged into the public arena. We both go out of our way to protect our relationship; I think it’s out of experience, but also just out of deep love.”

Celebrity gossip: “The whole culture of celebrity gossip is interesting as a distracting tool to numb people from the greater pains of the world. Escapism is really a very human quality, searching for something to anesthetize the painful reality of so many people’s lives. I don’t blame people for seeking escapism, but I think the tabloid media is a tool to pit women against one another and to shame them.”

Wilde has felt her privacy violated. “The last two years, my family has gone through this kind of restructuring and a revolution that should be a totally personal experience. And it’s not. The most painful element of it has been women shaming me for making a decision that was for my own health and happiness.”

[From Variety]

“In any other workplace, it would be seen as an attack” – but not really? Process servers go to people’s offices all the time. Sometimes people prefer to be served in an office as opposed to their home or airport or what have you. I get that it was embarrassing for her, I get that it was rude and awful. But I’m still not entirely convinced (as she is) that Jason Sudeikis intentionally set up this situation to have Olivia served on stage. I also still wonder if Olivia had been dodging the server for a while too. Additionally, I don’t get why… being served on stage at CinemaCon was about her children? Yes, the actual custodial issue was about the kids, but the act of being served wasn’t some drag on the kids? Am I crazy or is she going way overboard about this?

As for the stuff about Pugh… the promotion is definitely going to be interesting, because Florence is not lifting a finger to promote this movie any more than she’s contractually obligated to. The Venice premiere is going to be fascinating. And honestly, that will help the movie a bit too.

Embed from Getty Images

Embed from Getty Images

Photos courtesy of Avalon Red, Getty, cover courtesy of Variety.

Omid Scobie’s weekly Yahoo UK column is one of the things I look forward to reading every week now. This week’s column is about the Duchess of Sussex’s Archetypes podcast, the first episode of which debuted on Tuesday. Scobie was banging out this column last-minute, although I have a feeling he might have gotten a heads up about the premiere, and I also get the feeling that he’s possibly heard a few episodes already. Anyway, Scobie’s thesis is that Meghan is free. She is uncensored and unbothered. She is not beholden to the Windsors or the British press. And the Windsors and the British press are fully crying about it. Some highlights:

‘Archetypes’ pulls no punches: The topics raised are issues that the duchess knows all too well— overcoming stereotypes as a woman of colour, inequality in the workplace, climbing the career ladder without privilege and, sexist labels. And from what I’ve heard so far, it pulls no punches.

Meghan’s ambition: For Meghan, she says, her own ambition was weaponised against the moment she entered the royal bubble. She’s not wrong. Just last month a tawdry book on the duchess by a male journalist featured close to three dozen uses of the word, almost exclusively negatively. “Ambitious and ruthless”, “socially ambitious”, “ambitious networker”, “ambitious and hungry”, “a very ambitious… brazen hussy”. The list was long.

Undoing her dehumanization: While each episode of the show is designed to illuminate the lived experiences of other women, Meghan has also found a way to undo some of her public dehumanisation in the process.

Scobie’s got receipts too: Better yet, the outraged reaction from the British press and world of royal commentators will also quietly prove many of the points raised in the show. Because, predictably, many pounced the second the show went live. “Vapid and preposterous,” sniffed the Times’s one-star review which, like a grumpy old man at a bus stop, went on to complain about Prince Harry’s use of the word “vibes” and the repeated use of “Californian platitudes”. The Daily Mail dedicated a lengthy report on how “pathetic” and “yawn”-worthy contents of the show are, while also assigning a team of reporters to pump out 16 (and counting) articles about its first episode.

Not calm, nor carrying on: Of course, it wouldn’t be a conversation about the Sussexes without mentioning the palace’s “fears”. I’m told Buckingham Palace aides were most definitely not keeping calm, nor carrying on after the show’s premiere on Tuesday, worried about what else might be shared over the next 12 weeks.

The pushback on the nursery-fire story: Two aides have already pushed back on Meghan’s ‘precise recollection’ of events in South Africa – one told a tabloid that it was a smoking heater, not a fire (does it matter?) and another claimed it is ‘unfair’ to share such stories when the Royal Household cannot comment.

Uncensored & unbothered: But then this is the reality that the royal institution helped create. Uncensored and unbothered, Meghan, like Harry, has managed to create a healthier and happier existence since being shown the door after the couple’s half in, half out proposal was rejected. The two are now free to show their battle scars as and when they see fit.

[From Yahoo UK]

My favorite part: “Uncensored and unbothered, Meghan, like Harry, has managed to create a healthier and happier existence since being shown the door after the couple’s half in, half out proposal was rejected.” Keep saying it! Keep reminding people! Keep throwing that back in their faces! Meghan and Harry offered to stay “half in,” offered to allow the palace courtiers to still dictate part of their lives. The Sussexes’ offer was rejected. It was rejected because the Windsors believed Harry and Meghan would fail miserably and Harry alone would come crawling back to the UK, broken and divorced. That’s literally what the Windsors were rooting for, if they weren’t grotesquely suggesting that Meghan would need to die for the good of the monarchy. These people still think that even after they left Harry and Meghan so unprotected (in every way) that the Sussexes would somehow never speak again? LOL.

As for the palace already in complain-and-explain mode… let’s be clear, the palace is very concerned about Harry’s memoir, but they are flat-out terrified that Meghan will one day start naming names or tell specific stories about what happened to her in Salt Island.

Photos courtesy of Instar, Spotify.

After last week’s catastrophic coverage on Brad Pitt’s assaults on Angelina Jolie, Team Pitt has shifted their strategy. Last week it was all DARVO: Team Brad was hellbent on gaslighting Angelina, misrepresenting her experiences and her intentions, deflecting from the plane story completely and acting as if Brad was the real victim. Now the PR strategy has shifted to: Brad is sad, he loves his children, he wishes he could see his kids more, he still cares about Angelina, he’s always wanted the best for Angelina and the kids, he’s taking the high road unlike Angelina, who is a vindictive bitch! I f–king see you, Brad. From Us Weekly:

Taking the high road. Brad Pitt still wants ex-wife Angelina Jolie to be “happy” amid their winery drama, a source exclusively reveals in the latest issue of Us Weekly.

“He’s not rooting against her, not personally, not professionally, not romantically,” the insider says. “If she’s happy, he’s happy. Brad loved Angelina and he still cares about her.”

The Once Upon a Time in Hollywood star, 58, is “consistent” in the fact that he wants the Maleficent actress, 47, to be “happy and healthy and the best mother she can be for their children,” the source adds. In fact, when Jolie was going through her “medical issues and surgeries, she routinely praised Brad for being supportive,” the insider points out, adding, “He was there with her through everything.”

Amid all of the drama with the Wanted actress, Pitt has chosen “to keep his children’s lives as private as he can,” per the source. The Oklahoma native’s efforts to stay in contact with the kids, however, haven’t eased his tension with the Unbroken director.

“Angelina is angry that the public adores Brad so much when she feels he was very unkind to her,” the insider explains, pointing out that Pitt, meanwhile, has been “open and honest about his journey.”

[From Us Weekly]

I’m sorry what? “Angelina is angry that the public adores Brad so much when she feels he was very unkind to her… [while Pitt has been] open and honest about his journey.” Angelina didn’t tell the FBI that Brad was “unkind” to her. She detailed how he assaulted her multiple times and charged towards one of her children. She described how he poured beer all over her while she was trying to protect her children. She spoke to the FBI about how he terrorized his wife and six minor children for hours on an international flight. This was not “Brad was unkind to Angelina.” This was “Brad Pitt should have been charged with multiple felonies and Angelina had every right to leave him and prioritize the kids’ wellbeing.”

Also: if Angelina really wanted to turn the public against him or intentionally damage his stature, she would have. She would have done that during his Oscar campaign. In fact, I’m mad at Angelina for NOT going after him and telling Hollywood what a f–king abusive loser he is. She’s taken the high road for six years, all while he stewed in his own toxicity, blaming her for leaving him.

Photos courtesy of Avalon Red, Backgrid.

Jason Momoa went to the premiere of the final season of AppleTV’s See. [Just Jared]
Kelly Goodlett accepted a plea deal for lying to a judge to get a no-knock warrant for the raid in which Breonna Taylor was murdered. [Buzzfeed]
Scott Disick wrecked his Lambo but he wasn’t seriously injured. [Dlisted]
Brad Pitt’s Asian erasure and performative Buddhism. [LaineyGossip]
Ben Savage is running for City Council in WeHo. [Seriously OMG]
Brock Turner is out & about in Ohio bars. [Jezebel]
Nathalie Emmanuel is bring back the ‘80s power shoulder. [Go Fug Yourself]
I totally forgot that Jim Broadbent was on Game of Thrones. [Gawker]
Never Have I Ever has a great soundtrack. [Pajiba]
Marasi Martin looks like she’s wearing eyelash strips on her legs. [RCFA]
Decaying turtle Mitch McConnell thinks the GOP has a 50-50 chance at recapturing the Senate. Prove him wrong. [Towleroad]
Charli XCX did a music video which is just made up of tour footage. [Egotastic]

Rebecca English at the Mail Plus has a lengthy story about the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge’s big move to Adelaide Cottage. The news of the move has not gone over well this week, although I heard on an American radio station that the Cambridges “won’t have staff at this new home,” which means Kensington Palace’s carefully worded obfuscation has done one thing right. (Note: they will have staff at Adelaide Cottage, the staff simply won’t be “live-in”). KP has also blanketed the British media with the story that this is all about the kids’ school and wanting everything to be perfect for the three Cambridge children because it’s not like there have been serious cracks in the Cambridge marriage for several years now. Some highlights from this Mail Plus story:

Headed to Lambrook: The benefit of a mixed school, boasting just 610 boys and girls aged three to 13, is that all three children can attend together, cutting down the need for separate school runs and security teams.

More about the school: It offers boarding but George, nine, Charlotte, seven, and four-year-old Louis will be day pupils. It boasts of ‘first-class teaching and superb facilities’ including a 25-metre swimming pool, a nine-hole golf course, an Astroturf, squash court and a new £6million Queen’s Building for Information Communications Technology and academic learning. Friends say the Cambridges loved the ethos of the school which is hugely successful but more ‘under the radar’ than others in the area. Many of the pupils go on to public schools such as Eton, for which George is earmarked and where his father and uncle Harry went.

Family balance: The couple’s decision to move to Windsor was driven by the wish to find a balance for their family. They wanted to allow their children the opportunity to enjoy as normal a life as possible while they continue to serve as senior working royals, sources told the Mail.

Normal Keens: ‘Their children are at the heart of every decision they make,’ said one royal insider. ‘The duke and duchess want to give them as “normal” start as is possible and this is their chance to give them that for as long as they can. Kensington Palace is a bit of a goldfish bowl. The children can’t play in the grounds without being seen. They are very fortunate, of course. The duke and duchess are very conscious of that. But they are hopeful this will afford a happy medium between their public and private lives.’

Charitable empire: Their offices and charitable empire will continue to operate out of London, with the couple returning several days a week for work. But to all intents and purposes, Adelaide Cottage will be their main home, day-to-day. One source told the Mail: ‘Kensington Palace will remain their official residence now and in the future. Their office will remain there – private office, press office, the lot. They expect to be in London a great deal still. How many days is yet to be decided. They will need to work out over the next few months how they balance everything. But they lived in Norfolk during lockdown and it still worked. It can be done.’

Kensington Palace, the Forever Home: In 2013 aides even said it would be their ‘forever home’ and somewhere they would live for a ‘long, long time’. Yesterday sources told the Mail that remained true but added their circumstances had changed – they are parents to three young children and are adapting to suit their needs. ‘I think the word forever home has been a bit of a lesson for them. It’s certainly their long-term official residence still. But it’s [also] about evaluation. Things have changed for them as a family since then – they didn’t know what school their children were going to be sent to, for example,’ said a source.

Why they’re keeping Anmer Hall: The Cambridges will also keep on Anmer Hall, the ten-bedroom property in Norfolk gifted as a wedding present by the Queen. The couple adore the house and would have happily brought up their children there but for its distance from London.

Unwelcome criticism about having three homes: ‘They thought long and hard about this and are not unaware [of the criticism]. But they love Anmer, I would say it is the place they actually view as home,’ one friend said yesterday. ‘It’s where they would have brought their family up if the logistics had been different. They are very serious about being senior members of the Royal Family, they want to play a part and this is about finding a compromise that works with their family. It’s about balance and what it the best for their kids while trying to serve as royals. All of this is about them putting their children first. They really are such great parents, George, Charlotte and Louis are the centre of their world.’

No live in staff: With just four bedrooms, the couple will have no live-in staff for the first time, with their nanny, housekeeper and security team living nearby. The Grade II listed property is owned by the Crown Estate and the couple will pay ‘market rent’, sources say.

The Queen put them (Kate) in Adelaide: The Queen and the Prince of Wales have both been ‘very supportive’, the Mail understands. Indeed Her Majesty personally extended the invitation to live at Adelaide Cottage. A source added: ‘It’s not the main factor but clearly their close proximity to the Queen – I’d say it’s a brisk ten-minute walk – will allow them to spent more time with her. The duke adores his grandmother and values her opinion more than ever.’

So they are doing a renovation: Aides stress that any refurbishment needed above and beyond anything required by an ‘ordinary tenant’ would be funded by the couple privately. ‘There are no major costs. They already benefit from having the security in place there at Windsor,’ said one.

[From The Mail Plus]

A few things – wouldn’t all three kids be able to easily go to Thomas’s Battersea? Wasn’t that the whole reason why the Cambridges chose it in the first place, because it would be easy to have all three kids there? Why, suddenly, is it so important to uproot the kids from a school they liked and put them all in a different school in Berkshire? It’s interesting that Eton is still on the agenda for George too – the kids are obviously quite “Middleton-ized,” but Eton will push George to become more Windsorized. As for their London offices and “charitable empire” – William and Kate barely worked when they (barely) lived in London, so I doubt much will change. Kate will disappear for months at a time and William will pop up here and there. Their charitable empire will continue to grift, skim and misappropriate funds.

As for the ongoing conversation about “why three homes” or “why four homes” or “couldn’t you just give one up” – it’s perfectly clear that Kate would actually prefer to just be in Norfolk full time, doing absolutely no work. At Anmer Hall, she has a tennis court, a pool, unlimited booze, and a home gym. I honestly wouldn’t want to give up Anmer Hall either, especially since millions of pounds were spent on an extensive (and unnecessary) renovation to the grounds and the home. So the question is… why didn’t Kate just argue that she should stay in Norfolk and they could send the kids to a school close to Sandringham? Why go through all of this fuss? It makes no sense unless you consider Adelaide Cottage to be Kate’s separation home, something close to her parents and away from the prying eyes in Norfolk and London.

Photos courtesy of Avalon Red, Instar.

In addition to all of the negative press the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge are getting for their “move to Adelaide Cottage,” Kensington Palace’s crack team of PR professionals is also furiously trying to do damage control. It’s hilarious to watch how obvious they are. The Sun has an “exclusive” story about how Prince William is really looking forward to doing his kids’ “school run.” Like… hasn’t William been doing the school runs all this time? Isn’t that excuse he’s always used for why he’s so lazy? In 2019, Katie Nicholl even reported that William likes the morning drop-offs because he went from Thomas’s Battersea straight to the Harbour Club, where he “worked out” with all of the yummy mummies. It was like some kind of keen code for “William is banging mums at his kids’ school.”

Prince William is in line for a challenging new role — school run driver for his and Kate’s three kids. William, 40, will take George, Charlotte and Louis when they all start term together next month. He and Kate have chosen Lambrook Prep, 14 miles there and back from the royal home the couple have chosen in Windsor Great Park. The return trip to Adelaide Cottage, where we told last month the family were moving, is mostly private roads.

George, nine, Charlotte, seven, and Louis, four, will not be boarding. But annual fees will still cost the Cambridges around £53,628. Year 5 fees for George will be £20,997 a year while sister Charlotte, in Year 3, will cost her parents £19,464 a year. Putting Louis in reception will be £13,167 for the year.

Sources say William and Kate, 40, have visited Lambrook “multiple times” during their hunt for a suitable school to which to send the two princes and princess.

There is said to be an active social scene among parents, who include bankers, doctors and TV personalities. It is believed Kate and Wills, who are moving to their new home from Kensington Palace, have met with teachers. Security experts have visited to determine where the royals will sit in classes and when they will do PE.

A palace source said: “The decision to move to Windsor was always about putting the children first. Both William and Catherine are very keen to do the school run.”

[From The Sun]

“There is said to be an active social scene among parents, who include bankers, doctors and TV personalities” and “Both William and Catherine are very keen to do the school run.” Marriage of convenience. Separated throughout the week. William pillaging his way through Berkshire yummy-mummies. It will be interesting to see what kind of arrangements are made – it’s not like William and Kate were even photographed that much on school runs in London. They’ll be able to be even more secretive now, especially with William likely to be based in London during the week anyway.

Photos courtesy of Avalon Red.