It started over the weekend, and it was a refreshingly wholesome “controversy” about cultural differences. The controversy? Apparently, in Sweden, if your kid goes to play at a friend’s house, his friend’s family will not feed your child. In fact, the Swedish family will eat dinner and your child is just expected to play quietly away from everyone. This is apparently some kind of Nordic tradition, and it’s… um, considered really weird to most other cultures. Including mine! My Indian father loved feeding my friends. The number of times he would stir-fry shrimp for my friends “as a snack” is pretty remarkable. I would assume most Americans are like that too, culturally – parents have snacks for their kids’ friends, and everyone is welcome for dinner. This is not the way for Sweden. Some Swedish person wrote a column for the Independent about the controversy:

I was laughing when I checked Twitter and saw that #Swedengate was trending. All this fuss because of the revelation that Swedish people don’t – as a rule – serve food to guests (particularly to other children who are playing at their houses). It’s true, but what’s more confusing to me is why that’s even a problem.

As a child growing up in Gothenburg, I remember not really caring at all that I wasn’t being fed – I just continued playing and had a nice, quiet time while the other family had their dinner. It was usually just a quick “pause”; probably because they didn’t want to mess up my family’s plans.

The Swedish thinking goes like this: the other child (or the other family) may have plans for another kind of dinner, and you wouldn’t want to ruin the routine or preparations. I don’t think it is anything to do with not wanting to feed the other child or because it costs money or anything like that, it’s more to do with tradition and wanting to eat with your own family.

It would be different if you were actually invited over as a proper “playdate”, like people do more commonly here in the UK, but that wasn’t usually the case. We didn’t really have the same kind of formally arranged invitations. I think in many ways, Sweden is more of a free society than the UK. Children are allowed to run around more freely there, so they would usually just knock on the door and ask if they can come in and play – and obviously, you don’t “plan” how many children would be at your house in that instance. It would be a complete surprise. The parents wouldn’t be included usually, they wouldn’t come over to your house or expect to be catered for.

If you do have a planned playdate, of course, it’s different. Or, if the children are really young, then it’s a different story and you’d have a plan for people (their parents) to come over and eat. That would work the same way as it does in Britain.

Times have changed, too – today, it’s a different story. In Sweden now, if you have one child who comes over, they would likely get food as well. It’s not so much the way it was 20, 30 or 40 years ago, when I was growing up. But even then, it really wasn’t the “big deal” people on Twitter are making it sound like it was. Everyone did it. You just continued playing with dolls (or whatever it was) while your friend ate with their mum and dad.

[From The Independent]

Yeah, I’m probably the same age as this Swede, and back then, we didn’t have playdates either and nothing was formal. Now, do I have many memories of being fed at other people’s houses? No. Because my house was the one where kids would be fed. My parents were the ones who always had snacks and there was always enough food if a friend wanted to stay for dinner. Even more than that, friends were always invited for dinner!

Not here to judge but I don’t understand this. How’re you going to eat without inviting your friend? pic.twitter.com/bFEgoLiuDB

— Seeker (@SamQari) May 26, 2022

Forget about Swedes not feeding their play date kids – what about adults having to bring their own sheets and towels when invited to spend the night? Lived there for 18 years, can confirm #swedengate

— Xtine Milrod (@XtineMilrod) May 31, 2022

This Swede food saga is just wild to me. So you don’t feed your guest, but accept food when it’s offered to you. And you ask your guests to pay you back when you feed them. You can’t convince me it’s your culture, this is wickedness. #swedengate

— Aji Fatou (@ajifatoudibba) May 30, 2022

I wish my abuela were still around. She’d be trying to airlift tamales to Sweden.

— Lynda Carter (@RealLyndaCarter) May 31, 2022

Photos of Swedish actor Alexander Skarsgard, courtesy of Avalon Red, Instar.

You know what I’m thinking about this week? So far, in the past week, we haven’t heard much about Buckingham Palace’s bullying investigation into the Duchess of Sussex. It’s just a reminder that BP f–ked up when they announced the big, splashy investigation just before the Oprah interview aired last year, and BP has been trying to bury the whole mess for more than a year. Burying the investigation isn’t what Kensington Palace wants though, which makes me wonder why KP hasn’t organized yet another hit piece in the Daily Mail about it. Note: I’m not saying that I *want* anything to happen, I’m just saying I’m surprised that the Cambridges haven’t shown their asses yet again about “the bullying investigation.” I wonder if Charles told them to sit down and shut up.

Anyway, the Daily Mail is in a tizzy because they believe the Duke and Duchess of Sussex are due to arrive today. As of this writing, we’ve gotten no confirmation about their arrival, and part of me suspects that they might already be in Windsor. What’s also interesting is that the Sussexes’ security issues were mysteriously and suddenly cleared up, just in time for the Jubbly. My conspiracy theory is that Harry’s judicial review of the royal protection set up was going well, and that the review was about to expose some very shady sh-t. Which is why they cleared his family’s path for this visit in a hurry. Speaking of:

Prince Harry has been given ‘cast iron assurances’ he, Meghan Markle and their children will be protected when they land in Britain today for the Queen’s Platinum Jubilee – despite his ongoing row with the Home Office over police guards.

The Duke and Duchess of Sussex are thought to be travelling without any senior staff and just a small security team, having left their most trusted workers back home in California, according to people with knowledge of their travel plans. The couple will make the trip with son Archie, three, and daughter Lilibet, who turns one this weekend, and are predicted to land in Britain later today.

The Met’s Royalty and Specialist Protection unit is understood to have spent weeks liaising with Harry’s team to guarantee taxpayer-funded officers, The Mirror reports. It means that the Sussexes will get Met armed police around them at official royal events such as during the Platinum Jubilee – and while travelling to them – as well as their protection while staying at Frogmore Cottage on the Queen’s estate at Windsor. But this will not extend to while they are out at private events such as socialising with friends at restaurants and pubs or going to the shops.

Sources told The Mirror that he has always been ‘in favour’ of returning to the UK for the Queen’s celebrations, despite the Met insisting its officers are not ‘guns for hire’. At their US home, Harry and Meghan are protected by a 24-hour security team, including 12 former special forces personnel.

A source said: ‘For Harry, this has always been about protecting his family. He has been in constant contact with the relevant parties and made it very clear that he wouldn’t travel without receiving cast iron assurances over the safety of his family. He is satisfied the right procedures are in place and they are all very much looking forward to this week’s celebrations and of course getting to spend time with Her Majesty.’

[From The Daily Mail]

Yeah, the Met went from “hahaha how dare Harry believe that he needs security, what a joke” to “of course we’ll happily liaise with Harry’s private security to ensure that the Sussex family is completely safe during their visit.” Charles and the Queen pulled some strings and made some calls, of course, but I believe there’s a lot more to it. It’s about Harry’s judicial review, as I said. While Harry wanted Met security while he was in the UK, I suspect the judicial review was also about some score-settling for Harry. He wants to know who ordered his family’s security to stand down in 2020. I suspect he also wants to know about his mother’s (lack of) security.

Photos courtesy of YouTube, Avalon Red.

Ahead of the Jubblyshambles, the British tabloid media has been in meltdown, obviously. The Daily Mail has done what amounts to a daily live blog of updated hysteria. The Sun had done a royal live blog for years, and it has gotten more toxic by the day. I’ve been surprised to see some of the mainstream British outlets publish pieces about how Meghan and Harry “were the royal family’s last hope for a modern monarchy” and how their brief visit will end up being yet another racist chapter in Britain’s refusal to deal with their own toxic, regressive bigotry. Speaking of, the Telegraph’s Camilla Tominey also did a big preview of the Sussexes’ visit. Some of this stuff is just repetitive nonsense, but it’s worth discussing.

Rattled nerves: Little wonder, then, that nerves behind palace walls are once again being rattled as the House of Windsor prepares to welcome the erstwhile royals back into the fold. Amid fears that another “Sussex bomb” is about to be dropped on the Queen’s Platinum Jubilee celebrations, after their controversial Oprah Winfrey interview and news of the Duke’s forthcoming, warts-and-all autobiography, courtiers have been doing everything in their power to diffuse any potential flashpoints.

They’re terrified at how easily the Sussexes make news: Their habit of making unpublicised appearances, such as the Duchess’ recent visit to the memorial for murdered primary school children in Uvalde, Texas, has naturally led to concerns of a “circus” following their every move during the four-day extended bank holiday weekend.

They’re terrified that the Queen might have made private plans with the Sussexes: With Archie, three, and Lilibet, who turns one on Saturday, also in tow, there is no guarantee against the Sussexes “freelancing” – not only in terms of their charitable endeavours, but also in regards to their personal relationship with the 96-year-old monarch. Their whistlestop visit to see Her Majesty at Windsor Castle en route to last month’s Invictus Games at The Hague appeared to take some of the Queen’s nearest and dearest by surprise.

Probably no christening for Lili: Talk of the couple seeking to christen Lilibet while she is in Britain and meeting her great-grandmother and namesake for the first time appear wide of the mark. As one source put it: “It’s already an incredibly busy weekend for the Queen, I don’t think anyone would also want to wish a Christening on her.” The Archbishop of Canterbury, the Most Rev Justin Welby, testing positive with Covid also appears to have put paid to that rumour.

The Sussexes are not traveling with their staff: Intriguingly, it appears the couple will not be accompanied to the UK by any of their own public relations representatives after Toya Holness, their former spokesman, left Archewell earlier this month. Liaison between the Sussexes and the Palace is being handled by Herlihy Loughran, an “advisory partnership” comprised of Clara Loughran and Beth Herlihy, former palace aides. The duo handled the communications for the Invictus Games and are said to be the Duke’s “eyes and ears” back in Britain.

Conversations about the Cambridge children: Meanwhile, The Telegraph understands that conversations have taken place to establish what the Cambridge children – Prince George, Princess Charlotte and Prince Louis – are attending, in a bid to match them up with their American cousins. As such, none are expected at the thanksgiving service – with the jury still out on their presence at Trooping the Colour, the Party at the Palace on Saturday night or the Pageant in the Mall on Sunday afternoon.

[From The Telegraph]

This is curious: “The Telegraph understands that conversations have taken place to establish what the Cambridge children… are attending, in a bid to match them up with their American cousins.” Meaning what? The palace wants the Sussex kids and Cambridge kids to all go to the church service on Friday? I think that’s what they mean. I don’t know what the Sussex kids will do, but I strongly suspect that Archie and Lili will not be seen at any public events, and I also believe the Sussex kids are being brought specifically to privately introduce them to the Queen and that’s all. Now, I fully expect to see the Cambridge kids at everything. I think they’ll go to Trooping, the St. Paul’s service, heck, they’ll probably go to Wales on Saturday too.

It continues to be fascinating to watch the Queen’s aides publicly panic about the fact that Harry and Meghan communicate with the Queen privately, and the Queen doesn’t tell her people what was said or what plans were made.

Photos courtesy of Avalon Red, Backgrid, Instar.

Embed from Getty Images

Peter Arredondo is the police chief of Uvalde Consolidated Independent School District. He is one of the men responsible for the 78-minute delay in taking out a mass murderer in Robb Elementary in Uvalde. Arredondo was the incident commander on the scene at last week’s horrific slaughter. He was the one who ordered officers to remain outside the school after the shooter had barricaded himself in a classroom. Arredondo gave an initial interview in the state investigation into the massacre, but since that one interview, Arredondo has not answered any calls or participated in any follow-up interviews. On Tuesday, he was sworn in as a newly elected member of the Uvalde City Council. Now it looks like Arredondo’s refusal to participate in the state investigation is probably a wider order to the Uvalde police force. They’ve now stopped “cooperating” with the state investigation.

The Uvalde Police Department and the Uvalde Independent School District police force are no longer cooperating with the Texas Department of Public Safety’s investigation into the massacre at Robb Elementary School and the state’s review of the law enforcement response, multiple law enforcement sources tell ABC News.

The Uvalde police chief and a spokesperson for the Uvalde Independent School District did not immediately respond to requests for comment from ABC News.

According to sources, the decision to stop cooperating occurred soon after the director of DPS, Col. Steven McCraw, held a news conference Friday during which he said the delayed police entry into the classroom was “the wrong decision” and contrary to protocol.

Reached by ABC News, a spokesperson for the Texas Department of Public Safety said, “The Uvalde Police Department and Uvalde CISD Police have been cooperating with investigators. The chief of the Uvalde CISD Police provided an initial interview but has not responded to a request for a follow-up interview with the Texas Rangers that was made two days ago.”

[From ABC News]

My guess is that Peter Arredondo and Uvalde cops realized that the state investigation is mostly an exercise in bureaucratic ass-covering and that Uvalde PD was going to end up wearing the entire mess. And… that’s exactly what they deserve. Of course there are larger problems with access to guns and the sh-tty state response to the massacre but at a fundamental level, the Uvalde PD completely f–ked up. They were grotesquely incompetent and, I believe, guilty of criminal manslaughter for the way they left children to be slaughtered. Now, the whole “the local cops are not going to cooperate with the state investigation” just makes everyone look corrupt. Which they are, so good job, you guys. ACAB.

Embed from Getty Images

Embed from Getty Images

Photos courtesy of Getty.

Review of We Feed People, about Jose Andres & World Central Kitchen. It’s on Disney+ and it sounds amazing. [Pajiba]
Here’s the trailer for the Willow series. [OMG Blog]
Viggo Mortensen & Pedro Almodovar are beefing. [Dlisted]
Freaking out about that one scene in Men. [Jezebel]
Wait, Thomas Brodie-Sangster & Tululah Riley are dating? [JustJared]
Ashley Graham went to Cannes. [GFY]
Stopping messing with Mona Lisa, she’s not the problem! [Buzzfeed]
The fifth Indiana Jones movie is coming. [LaineyGossip]
The kidnapping of Eduardo Valseca. [Starcasm]
Top Gun: Maverick and the evolution of popcorn jingoism. [Gawker]

As I was reading all of the British tabloids’ unhinged coverage of The Return of the Sussexes, there was a strange detail buried in one of the stories about Frogmore Cottage. That detail: Princess Eugenie and Jack Brooksbank had apparently moved their things out of Frogmore already, in advance of the Sussexes’ visit, and Eugenie and Jack were moving to Portugal. It was surprising, to say the least. So what’s going on there? For years now, Eugenie has worked at a London-based art gallery (Hauser & Wirth) and Jack has worked for Casamigos, the tequila company founded by George Clooney and Rande Gerber. As it turns out, Jack’s Casamigos connections led him to an interesting job in Porugal.

It is billed as offering “the simple luxury of natural European living” an hour south of Lisbon on the picturesque Portuguese coast. And now the luxurious CostaTerra Golf and Ocean Club is playing host to royalty after Princess Eugenie and her husband Jack Brooksbank moved to the exclusive resort with their one-year-old son, August. The couple have left Frogmore Cottage, the Windsor home they sublet from the Duke and Duchess of Sussex, and are now dividing their time between the Atlantic coast club and London.

It comes after Stowe-educated Mr Brooksbank, 36, landed a new job with multimillionaire property tycoon Mike Meldman, who is one of George Clooney’s business partners. But he is now working for Mr Meldman’s Discovery Land Company, which has been developing the 722-acre plot, tucked between the sought-after villages of Comporta and Melides, since 2019. Mr Clooney, his wife Amal and their four-year-old twins Ella and Alexander could soon become neighbours after it was revealed he is planning to buy a plot on the estate in the upmarket Alentejo region.

A source close to the couple confirmed: “Jack is now working for Mike Meldman and they are splitting their time between Portugal and London. It’s a very exciting time for them.”

The first phase of the 300-home development, which also boasts a mile of beachfront, an 18-hole golf course, spa and equestrian centre, is just about to be released and Mr Brookbank is understood to be working on marketing, sales and promotion. Prices start at £3.6 million.

It is thought Eugenie, 32, is continuing to work as a director for the London art gallery Hauser & Wirth on a hybrid basis with the couple staying at Ivy Cottage at Kensington Palace when they are in the UK.

[From The Telegraph]

The Telegraph says that while the move has already happened, Jack and Eugenie will be back for the Jubbly. I’ve thought for some time now that Eugenie and Jack would be the next royals/royal-adjacents to move out of Salt Island. I thought there was a chance that they would end up in America, like Harry and Meghan. But Portugal works too. It’s fascinating that we only found out about their move now, on the eve of the Jubbly, when it sounds like it’s been happening for months already. I also wonder if Eugenie was being “pushed out” after she A) went to Montecito to hang out with Harry & Meghan and B) helped arrange for the Sussexes’ private visit with the Queen in April. I would imagine the courtiers were not happy with her at all. And now she works part-time at a London art gallery and spends the rest of her time raising her baby in Portugal? Win-win.

Photos courtesy of Avalon Red, Instar, Instagram.

Three weeks ago, we learned that the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge were being sent to Wales during the Jubbly. It was a hilarious moment. To be fair, William and Kate are not being “sent away” for the entire four-day Jubblyshambles, and to be fair, all of the senior working royals are expected to spend half-days in all of the countries making up the United Kingdom during the Jubbly. Princess Anne, the Wessexes, Prince Charles and Camilla are all being sent away too. It just so happens that William and Kate are being sent to Wales on Lilibet’s first birthday, when the Queen plans to attend a little birthday party for her great-granddaughter at Frogmore Cottage.

William and Kate will visit Cardiff on Saturday as part of the Platinum Jubilee celebrations, while Harry and Meghan are to ‘meet the Queen as they celebrate Lilibet’s first birthday’ more than 130 miles away.

The Duke and Duchess of Cambridge will meet performers and crew involved in a special Platinum Jubilee Celebration Concert taking place within the grounds of Cardiff Castle, Buckingham Palace has confirmed. The couple will view rehearsals and meet some of the acts taking part in the celebrations, including Bonnie Tyler and Owain Wynn Evans. Hosted by Aled Jones and Shan Cothi, the concert will also feature live performances from Wales’ best known singers and entertainers alongside choirs, bands and orchestras.

Meanwhile, though, it is believed the Queen may meet Harry and Meghan’s daughter Lilibet for the first time at the soon-to-be one-year-old’s birthday party the same day. The 96-year-old monarch, who Lilibet is named after, is likely to miss her favourite sporting event, the Derby horse races at Epsom, for the little one’s birthday.

[From The Daily Mail]

Again, this is all being stage-managed behind the scenes down to the minute, except that Harry and Meghan are the wild cards because they haven’t given the palace aides too many details about their movements. Will and Kate are being sent to Wales on Saturday for a reason, and I suspect that reason is “to keep William and Harry apart as much as possible.” That being said, on Friday, we’ll see the Cambridges and Sussexes in the same place, St. Paul’s Cathedral, for the service of thanksgiving for the Queen’s historic reign. It’s more than likely that will be the only time we see the Cambridges and Sussexes in the same place at the same time. And it’s still hilarious to me that the Queen told everyone to go away so she can get some private time with Harry, Meghan and their kids.

Photos courtesy of Avalon Red, Backgrid, Instar.

Today in Overshadowing the Jubbly, Prince William was hanging out at Rose Hanbury’s estate in Norfolk this past weekend. I wondered where William and Kate were last week, and it looks like they spent some time in Norfolk, at their country home Anmer Hall. There have been some reports that Will and Kate would give up Anmer Hall because they wanted to move to Windsor full-time, but I still don’t believe that they would ever give up Anmer. In any case, William went to the Houghton Hall estate – aka, the estate of Rose Hanbury and David Rocksavage – for the Houghton International Horse Trials. Kate was not with him. The kids were not with him.

William did run into Zara and Mike Tindall, and there were lots of photos of Mike and William hugging and laughing with one another. Zara was competing in the horse trials, so it’s likely that William went there specifically to see Zara… although it’s sus, right? The British media went into overdrive to make “Mike & Will” the story, as in “Will and Mike’s bromance.” The basic gist is “who needs Harry when William has MIKE!” Also: the three Tindall kids were there, so it was a kid-friendly event. Wonder why William didn’t bring his kids? Maybe it wasn’t his weekend with them. Maybe he was already at Houghton Hall and he just decided to stop by the horse trials.

After a little friendly banter, Prince William hugs it out with Mike Tindall https://t.co/3Toxvfqu5I

— The Mail+ (@mailplus) May 30, 2022

Prince William ‘in need of an embrace’ – Mike Tindall is ‘a provider of support & banter’ https://t.co/Z4v8b6ZeuU pic.twitter.com/gA3hcEzH9r

— Daily Express (@Daily_Express) May 30, 2022

Photos courtesy of Backgrid, Instar.

Over the Memorial Day weekend, the British tabloid media was full of stories about the Duke and Duchess of Sussex. Hilariously, Meghan and Harry haven’t told palace aides their plans, so the aides don’t have any solid information to leak to the tabloids. So the aides are just whining about how Harry and Meghan better not do anything to “distract” from the Queen, forgetting the fact that they’re the ones trying to leak sh-t about the Sussexes (which distracts from the Queen). In any case, it’s abundantly clear that the Queen is absolutely delighted that her favorite grandson (I said what I said) is bringing his children back to the UK. Aides sniffed at the idea that the Queen would deign to attend a birthday party for Lilibet, but aides also believe that the Queen is going to do like ten events in four days? It’s ridiculous. So yet another outlet spoke to additional royal sources, and now they’re admitting that yeah, the Queen probably will spend some private time with the Sussexes. LOL.

The Queen has freed up her diary to attend a ­possible first birthday party for Lilibet — Harry and Meghan’s daughter named in her honour. Her Majesty, 96, is likely to miss her favourite sporting event, the Derby, on Saturday — the day her great granddaughter turns one.

Aides are making every effort to manage Her Majesty’s diary so as not to tire her. She has been at Craigowan Lodge, her Highlands bolthole with its own wheelchair-friendly lift on her Balmoral Estate.

Sources close to the Queen say it is becoming “increasingly unlikely” she will travel to Epsom for the Derby after all three of her horses pulled out of the race. Efforts had been made to ensure she could get to the royal box on the big day but palace sources tell The Sun it will be called off. The Queen, who will remain in Scotland until the middle of the week, will also miss Thursday’s official Trooping the Colour salute. She will instead appear twice on the Buckingham Palace balcony — once to receive a salute from returning guardsmen and then with family for the RAF flypast.

[From The Sun]

The Queen has apparently only missed the Derby twice during her reign, but I think this was always going to be the case, where she would cancel her appearance this year. It’s one thing to make very stage-managed appearances at the Royal Windsor Horse Show (which is actually on the Windsor Castle complex) and quite another to be out at a horse event in public, without the ability to completely control her surroundings and everything else. I doubt QEII was ever going to go to the Derby this year. My guess is that Harry and Meghan already invited her to a private birthday party for Lilibet on Saturday. I’m also starting to wonder if the Queen’s coziness with the Sussexes is exactly why she was sent to Scotland ahead of the Jubbly. Those aides didn’t want the photos of the Queen racing over to Frogmore as soon as the Sussexes arrived.

Photos courtesy of Avalon Red, Backgrid.

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Chris Pine with long hair and a beard… god, he looks so hot. [Just Jared]
The Uvalde police just walked away from questions about why they didn’t enter the school for an hour while an armed psychopath massacred children. [Buzzfeed]
Someone made “mullet shoes.” [OMG Blog]
Blue Ivy Carter went to an Olivia Rodrigo concert with friends. [LaineyGossip]
This headline about The Flight Attendant is funny because NO. [Pajiba]
Gigi Hadid’s ensemble just looks uncomfortable. [Go Fug Yourself]
A blind item about a writer who moved from Paris to NYC. [Gawker]
Rest in peace, Andy Fletcher. [Towleroad]
How did Angelyne make money? [Starcasm]
Adidas let Karlie Kloss have her own collection? [Egotastic]
Cynthia Erivo wore Louis Vuitton at the amfAR gala. [RCFA]