Camilla Tominey is one of the Telegraph’s main royal reporters, and she’s broken several big royal stories over the years. These days, she’s firmly encamped on Team Cambridge, which is par for the course, honestly. Most of the royal reporters will choose William and Kate, because they want that Keen access. And access to the Sussexes isn’t happening, Harry and Meghan have completely cut them off. Which is basically how Tominey framed her new Telegraph video. The Telegraph actually put some “production” into a pretty basic story. That story? When Prince Harry and Meghan come to the UK for the Jubbly, they’ll likely “destablize the monarchy.” First, here’s the Telegraph video:

Psychotic. I really mean that. It’s even worse when you read her quotes:

The Sussex sideshow: ‘You can include the Sussexes but you don’t want there to be some sort of Harry and Meghan sideshow going on when the main event must be the Queen. The Palace has a degree of control over Harry and Meghan while they’re in the confines of Buckingham Palace and the confines of the Platinum Jubilee celebrations official, but there’s nothing to stop them freelancing and doing their own thing while they’re in the UK. Of course, if they’re going to be seen out and about with their children, it’s going to generate publicity.’

Overshadowed: ‘Equally, there will be other members of the Royal Family who are doing the daily grind who will resent being overshadowed by Harry and Meghan, even if they don’t admit it. You’re not going to want to have the likes of Princess Anne and the Earl and Countess of Wessex, for instance, who, day in day out, plant trees, unveil plaques and go to the opening of royal envelopes, only to have the media focus completely on Harry and Meghan who aren’t playing a role at all in the so-called family Firm.’

The body language: ‘The most interesting addition to the proceedings is Meghan. Previously we have seen Harry by himself in the UK and now the Duchess will come back into the fold. The body language and the reading of it is going to be quite fascinating.’

No briefings from California: However she insisted the focus for all camps will be on ensuring the Queen remains ‘front and centre’ of all proceedings. There cannot be any ‘briefings’ from Prince Harry and Meghan Markle’s team hinting at any discontent between the family members. She added: ‘The main priority for all the members of the royal family is, as it always has been, the Queen and making sure she isn’t overshadowed. Nobody is going to ingratiate themselves with the public in the UK or overseas if they overshadow our 96-year-old monarch on the most momentous and historic weekend of her reign.’

[From The Daily Mail]

This is where we are. Royal reporters and their outlets are producing slick commentary videos which amount to “we don’t know what Harry and Meghan are going to do but we’re terrified!” And: “don’t blame us for covering every tiny detail of what Harry and Meghan are doing!” That last thing… I mean, she’s right. There is legitimate interest in what the Sussexes are doing. Of course the British papers are going to cover their every move. Tominey is framing it a certain way, though. She’s framing it as a threat – they better not do anything which isn’t palace-approved! They better not correct any incorrect stories we report! They better not do anything to overshadow poor William and Kate! These people are tying themselves in knots and it’s so funny.

Photos courtesy of Instar, Backgrid.

During any given British monarch’s reign, the monarch has four counsellors of state, people who can step in and do the work of the Crown in case the monarch is incapacitated or out of the country. Currently, Queen Elizabeth’s counsellors of state are Prince Charles, Prince William, Prince Andrew and Prince Harry. See the problem? It’s not a new problem either, there have been calls for the Queen to change her counsellors of state since 2020, when Andrew initially “stepped back” from public duties and when Harry sussexited out of there. Since the Queen’s health has declined so rapidly over the past eight months, there’s been a renewed conversation about how Harry needs to be removed immediately, or Harry and Andrew need to be gone forever. Nothing has happened. Even as the Queen cancels her biggest and most important duties as head of state, nothing has happened.

Now, I suspect that no movement has been made to remove Harry and Andrew as counsellors of state because the Queen is doing so poorly. It’s weird, right? But I’m starting to think that Charles simply knows he’s around to do almost everything and why kick the hornet’s nest right now when he could simply wait until he takes over and then appoint his own counsellors of state. When Charles does appoint his own, his counsellors will likely be Prince William, Princess Anne, Camilla and… maybe Prince Edward, but I doubt it. It would be bold if Charles kept Harry on as a counsellor of state. But I also suspect that’s one of the reasons why Harry has retained the Sussexes’ lease on Frogmore Cottage, to maintain a residence in the UK so technically he qualifies as a counsellor of state.

I also wonder if some of this will be dealt with during the Fakakta Jubbly. Harry will be in town, Andrew will be itching to make appearances, I wonder if Charles is going to deal with some of this sh-t in person.

Photos courtesy of Avalon Red, Instar.

Sadiq Khan is the mayor of London and a high-ranking member of the Labour Party. Last week, he traveled to the United States on some kind of goodwill/we-need-American-tourism tour which saw him meeting with representatives from government, charity and the arts. He was in LA for a meetings and at least one VIP party. Do you see where this is headed? Because Mayor Khan is like most British people, he seemed to think that Montecito-to-LA was some kind of easy distance and that the Duke and Duchess of Sussex could simply pop by the VIP party in LA. Khan invited them and they declined, but like the lovely people they are, Harry and Meghan extended an invitation to Mayor Khan to come up to Montecito. He declined. Guess how the story is being reported?

Sadiq Khan was secretly invited to meet the Duke and Duchess of Sussex at their £11m mansion in California on his trip to the US, the Evening Standard can reveal. The offer was made after Harry and Meghan were unable to accept an invitation to be the star guests at a VIP party hosted by the mayor in Los Angeles last week.

However Mr Khan was unable to accept due to “logistical” difficulties with an already packed schedule and because their home near Santa Barbara was a 90-minute drive from where the City Hall-organised party was being held in West Hollywood.

It is also likely the mayor would not have wanted to be drawn into the royal family’s “civil war”, especially ahead of meeting Prince William at the FA Cup final last Saturday and the Queen’s visit to Crossrail on Tuesday. Mr Khan has a good relationship with the Duke of Cambridge who he has met on several occasions. They have a shared interest in tackling environmental issues.

Harry and Meghan, who stepped back as senior royals in 2020 and relinquished their role as working members of the royal family last year, sent three aides to the mayor’s rooftop party. They included James Holt, who was head of communications for Nick Clegg when the then Lib-Dem leader was Deputy Prime Minister. Mr Holt is now executive director of the Archewell Foundation, the couple’s charity.

A spokeswoman for the Archewell Foundation, when contacted by the Standard this week, did not deny the couple had been invited to the party nor that a return invitation had been extended to the mayor.

[From The Evening Standard]

Imagine leading with “Harry and Meghan invited Mayor Khan to their home” and/or “Mayor Khan REJECTS Harry and Meghan!” While the Evening Standard puts it in some kind of context, other British outlets did not. Outlets like the Daily Mail, which made the story into something hyper-political… despite the fact that it’s clear Sadiq Khan reached out to the Sussexes first and not the other way around.

Norman Baker, former Lib Dem Transport Secretary and an author of a book on the Royal Family, said he was ‘surprised’ at the Sussexes decision to invite Mr Khan to their home.

‘Although Harry and Meghan are semi-divorced from the Royal Family they need to be careful not to demonstrate any political allegiance,’ he told MailOnline. ‘Sadiq Khan was right to turn this invitation down.’

Mr Khan, 51, is a friend of Prince William, the Duke of Cambridge, and it is likely he would want to avoid being drawn into the ‘civil war’ between the Sussexes and the rest of the Royal Family. The Mayor met William before the FA Cup final last weekend, and also appeared alongside the Queen during the opening of Crossrail on Tuesday.

Meghan, 40, is believed to harbour political ambitions, with past reports suggesting she had been networking with senior Democrats with a view to building a campaign and fundraising teams for a tilt at the US Presidency. Sources close to the couple have previously declined to comment on the rumours, but the couple have made little secret of their political beliefs.

[From The Daily Mail]

Again, for all of us in the cheap seats… Khan reached out to the Sussexes first. They were merely being nice by offering him a chance to come by, which they only did because they were declining HIS offer to come to LA. And why all of this talk about how Khan is close to Prince William? William is quite clearly and quite openly a Tory stooge. William barely associates with anyone from the Labour Party. All of his senior staffers are Tories. But we’re supposed to be left with the idea that Khan has to “choose a side” between William and Harry. Worse yet, we’re supposed to believe that Khan declined Harry and Meghan’s invitation *because* Khan doesn’t want to piss off Willy Incandescent.

Photos courtesy of Avalon Red, Backgrid and Instar.

This is completely charming. Harry Styles decided to appear on the cover of the June issue of Better Homes & Gardens. BH&G usually doesn’t have big celebrity covers, but considering his new album is called Harry’s House, I would assume someone thought this would be clever cross-promotion. It’s adorable! The magazine’s profile of Harry reads like a standard celebrity profile, the kind of thing you would read in Vogue or GQ. Some highlights:

He loves cold-water swimming: “I feel like people who have discovered cold water swimming are just so happy for you that you’ve also found it.”

Why ‘Harry’s House’: “I realized that that home feeling isn’t something that you get from a house; it’s more of an internal thing. You realize that when you stop for a minute.”

Pandemic navel-gazing: “I think everyone went through a big moment of self-reflection, a lot of navel-gazing, and I don’t know if there’s anything more navel-gazing than making an album. It’s so self-absorbed.”

How is he so sane & productive? “My producer keeps asking me when I’m going to have my big breakdown. The most honest version I can think of is, I didn’t grow up in poverty by any means, but we didn’t have much money, and I had an expectation of what I could achieve in life. I feel like everything else has been a bonus, and I am so lucky.”

Ashamed about his sex life: “For a long time, it felt like the only thing that was mine was my sex life. I felt so ashamed about it, ashamed at the idea of people even knowing that I was having sex, let alone who with… At the time [during 1D], there were still the kiss-and-tell things. Working out who I could trust was stressful. But I think I got to a place where I was like, why do I feel ashamed? I’m a 26-year-old man who’s single; it’s like, yes, I have sex.”

He’s been thinking a lot about celebrity & privacy: “I think we’re in a moment of reflection. You look back, especially now there’s all the documentaries, like the Britney documentary, and you watch how people were abused in that way, by that system, especially women. You recall articles from not even five years ago, and you’re like, I can’t even believe that was written.”

He thinks it’s “outdated” to ask him how he defines his sexuality: “I’ve been really open with it with my friends, but that’s my personal experience; it’s mine. The whole point of where we should be heading, which is toward accepting everybody and being more open, is that it doesn’t matter, and it’s about not having to label everything, not having to clarify what boxes you’re checking.”

[From Better Homes & Gardens]

He comes across as a genuinely nice guy, honestly. I’ve always appreciated that Harry doesn’t explain his sexuality or why he wears pearls, corsets, lace and dresses. He just… does it and shrugs and keeps living his life. When he talks about working out who he could trust and the kiss-and-tell stuff, my mind immediately went to the Taylor Swift mess, but honestly, the British media had a field day with all of Harry’s hookups back in the day. He had a thing, for a time, for older women, and those relationships or flings were always splashed across the British tabloids. I think getting some distance from England really helped him figure out some things too – he seems to spend more time in America these days, plus he’s back on tour, so all of that means less time within the confines of Salt Island and their crazy tabloid culture.

Cover courtesy of BH&G, additional photos courtesy of Avalon Red.

Here are some photos from the Cannes Film Festival on Friday. The big event/premiere was for Three Thousand Years of Longing, a George Miller film where Idris Elba plays a genie in a bottle and Tilda Swinton is the bookish professor who accidentally unleashes him. I would never have thought to put Idris and Tilda in a movie together, but here we are. At the premiere, Tilda wore Chanel. Idris looked dapper as hell.

Idris’s wife Sabrina Dhowre wore a custom Tony Ward gown and jewelry from Tiffany & Co. She looked STUNNING.

Bonus Tilda & Idris at the Saturday photocall. I wish I could wear comically oversized button-down shirts and just wander around the South of France.

Here’s Anne Hathaway at the Friday photocall for Armageddon Time. Her minidress is Gucci. She was trying to do a Bardot thing and it worked, although I hate those sunglasses!

Marion Cotillard wore a Chanel romper. From the front, I actually don’t hate this, but there are photos of Marion walking up the steps and half of her ass was hanging out. That’s why you don’t wear shorts to Cannes red carpets!

Casey Affleck, 46, and his 24-year-old girlfriend Caylee Cowan. My only comment is that she’s lovely and young and I hope she’s okay.

Photos courtesy of Instar, Avalon Red.

Gisele Bundchen breaks down 22 iconic looks. [Egotastic]
Elle Fanning is very into twee bows right now. More pics of Elle in Cannes! [Go Fug Yourself]
I’m obsessed with Billy Eichner’s Bros!! [LaineyGossip]
Ed Sheeran & his wife welcomed their second child. [Seriously OMG]
Drew Brees gave advice to Ellen DeGeneres. [Just Jared]
Margot Robbie will produce & star in an Ocean’s 11 prequel set in the 1960s. Lord, they’re going to make her Danny Ocean’s mom, right?? [Dlisted]
Review of Peacock’s Angelyne. [Pajiba]
Tom Brady & Gisele’s marriage is so traditional. [Gawker]
Oh, the cast of Abbott Elementary at the ABC Upfronts! [Tom & Lorenzo]
Are y’all worried about monkeypox? [Towleroad]
I do feel sorry for Kourtney Kardashian’s children. [Buzzfeed]
This Elie Saab gown is kind of a mess? [RCFA]

The big royal premiere of Top Gun: Maverick happened last night in London and it was pretty interesting! This post is just for the royal photos. Unlike last fall’s No Time to Keen premiere, the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge were the only royals at the premiere. It was said that William was interested in the movie because he flies planes and helicopters or something? I don’t know why they even gave that as a reason, William is (nominally) the president of BAFTA, that’s reason enough for him to attend the splashiest London premieres. And Kate had to be his plus-one, otherwise no one would care (sad but true).

As for Kate, she wore a slinky black-and-white Roland Mouret dress. The more I look at it, the more I actually like it? I don’t know what kind of “give” that fabric has, but it was tailored perfectly on her very slender body. My first thought was that this dress is a throwback to the iconic dress worn by Julia Roberts in Mystic Pizza. Other people associated it with Brenda and Kelly’s prom dresses on 90210. So, some dated style references, for sure. Still, it’s a good dress. She also wore Robinson Pelham diamond “star” earrings which… I’m not sure they’re right with the dress. Her hair is fine. Remember, she’s doing her hair like that nowadays because she’s copying Meghan it’s an instant “facelift.” Meanwhile, this whole look does feel very, um, Meg-esque.

People were making a big deal about how Tom Cruise helped Kate up the steps all while William barely even looked over at her. I think it was a combination of things – William rarely helps her with that kind of stuff, and Tom likely offered his hand to her as soon as they approached the steps. It is kind of funny though, Kate being helped up by a movie star and not her husband.

Photos courtesy of Avalon Red, Instar and Backgrid.

The thing about the Duchess of Cambridge is that while she’s often inappropriately dressed, she rarely wears body-con styles or anything which could be described as “slinky.” Last night’s Roland Mouret look was a change up for her, yet it fell in the familiar theme of “copykeening.” As for the slinky, body-conscious style… it’s led to speculation that she wore padding on her bum. Her sister Pippa Middleton famously wore padding to Kate’s 2011 wedding, and Pippa’s ass of lies haunted her for years as photographers were constantly on the hunt for “bum shots.” So, I looked through the photos and… I’m not sure? If Kate is wearing something, she went for modest padding, because this just looks like her regular body. It wouldn’t surprise me if she wore appropriate foundation garments, and sometimes those will “lift” a woman’s backside.

I also came across this asinine Daily Mail story, in which a “celebrity stylist” poured sugar and lies all over Kate’s look:

Celebrity stylist Miranda Holder told Femail that the dress was ‘distinctively more sultry’ than the looks we usually see on the mother-of-three. The form-fitting dress highlighted the Duchess’s shape, and her sling back hair and cleverly applied body shimmer brought the attention to her toned arms and chiselled shoulders.

‘It was a bold sartorial move, and the Duchess of Cambridge executed it to perfection,’ Miranda said. ‘Kate knows how to turn up the glamour, but last night’s look was a world away from her previous ensembles and distinctively more sultry. The dress was extremely fitted, highlighting Kate’s enviable curves which looked nothing short of sensational, and the Bardot-esque off the shoulder neckline exposing her décolletage. ‘This, combined with a very modern slicked back hair style, instead of her usual neat “updos”, added a new dimension to the Royal’s fashion repertoire,’ the fashion expert went on.

The Top Gun gown is the most daring look Kate has worn at an event since turning William’s head during a fashion show at St Andrews University where she donned a skimpy see-through dress that shown her underwear.

[From The Daily Mail]

…Are we even looking at the same dress??? This stylist is just out here, saying words. The reason the Mouret dress “works” on Kate is because she’s doesn’t have “enviable curves.” Kate is slender with a small bust and narrow hips, that’s why she can pull off a dress like this. And the whole idea that this is the “most daring” look Kate has worn since college… well, it’s funny how all of Kate’s twirly miniskirts and Marilyn Moments have been completely whitewashed.

Photos courtesy of Avalon Red, Backgrid and Instar.

Did you think we were done with Tina Brown’s promotional tour for The Palace Papers? Of course not. As someone who covers royal gossip, I actually appreciate the fact that at least Brown is someone different. I get tired of all of the noisy, spiteful pearl-clutchers who make up the royal commentary class. That being said, Brown’s talking points are mostly just an offshoot of the same old bullsh-t. As it turns out, Brown 100% believes that Prince Harry is going to wage a campaign of chaos upon his return to the UK for the Jubbly.

Prince Harry is reported to have sparked fear within Buckingham Palace that the Duke’s return to the UK for the Queen’s Platinum Jubilee celebrations will see a “campaign of chaos” unleashed. Australia’s 60 Minutes recently aired an episode entitled: “Royal family drama threatening to derail the Queen’s Platinum Jubilee” in which royal expert Tina Brown sets out her concerns about what will come from the Duke’s return to the spotlight during his trip home.

Host Liam Bartlett told 60 Minutes Australia: “Tina Brown’ sources tell her the fear in the palace is that there’s a lot of his mother in Prince Harry, and that his trip home will be used as an opportunity to continue his campaign of chaos.

Ms Brown told the programme: “In some ways, I mean, Harry’s taken up the legacy of Diana and seems to kind of lob these grenades at unexpected moments that has everybody completely off form. It’s a tragedy I think that he’s gone so off about his family, his emotions rule Harry’s head, there’s no doubt about it. There’s a deep resentment in Harry for everything that he’s been through in the past. Unfortunately in recent years, it really seems to become directed towards his family, particularly his father. Which is actually very sad, I think for Charles who I think did try to do his best in his own way as well.”

[From The Daily Express]

The thing is, Tina Brown and all of the royal commentators would love nothing more if Harry and Meghan flew in and chaos ensued. They would love it and they would spend the whole summer talking about it. Even if the Sussexes are completely committed to being low-key for the days they’re in town, the royal press machine will turn their every move, gesture, word and look into a five-alarm emergency anyway, so why not actively try to sow chaos? That’s how I feel. As for Brown’s insistence that poor, emotional, resentful Harry is obsessed with “lobbing grenades” at his family… he’s literally coming back to see his grandmother and introduce his children to his family. He is making an effort.

Photos courtesy of Instar.

I waited for hours before checking in on Salt Island royal commentators. I wanted to give them a fighting chance to surprise me with their commentary on the report of the Duke and Duchess of Sussex’s Netflix docu-series. Keep in mind that the original reporting was from Page Six, and they put an anti-Sussex spin on what has been widely rumored for a year. They wanted to make Harry and Meghan sound like sellouts and hypocrites for, you know, producing a classy docu-series about their Archewell work, with maybe some scenes set within their Montecito mansion. Little surprise, the Daily Mail took the bait and went full-throttle negative. Apparently, Harry and Meghan are the Nu Kardashians. Nevermind that the Middletons wish they could be Kardashians. Nevermind that the Windsor sh-tshow wishes they had the Kardashians’ freedom, money and popularity.

The [reality show] format would likely suit Harry and Meghan, who have demanded control over their media messaging since emigrating in 2020. But they also demanded privacy, so a reality show has raised eyebrows amongst royal experts who have suggested it is a paradox. And with just two weeks until the Sussexes all fly into the UK for the Queen’s Platinum Jubilee, the story in the US will raise anxieties at Buckingham Palace that the couple will use it to fire more transatlantic potshots at the Royal Family.

The Queen’s aides are said to have already banned Harry and Meghan’s camera crews from her palaces as she marks her extraordinary 70-year reign. The couple have also been barred from the Buckingham Palace balcony for the Changing the Guard on June 2. But the Netflix team have been following them since last year, including a trip to New York compared to a royal visit and their trip to The Hague for the Invictus Games in April.

Sources suggest that the Sussexes are angling for the docuseries’ broadcast to be delayed until early next year, around the time Harry is expected to release his tell-all memoirs where he will likely have another say on Megxit as well the Sussexes’ claims that an unnamed royal was racist towards Archie and aides neglected his wife when she was suicidal and pregnant.

Royal expert Angela Levin, author of 2018 book ‘Harry: Conversations With The Prince’, said today: ‘Harry wanted privacy and to be ordinary. He also hated cameras. But he’s ended up doing an at home docuseries for Netflix. Does he need to be searched for hidden cameras on Jubilee days? Will he steal the event from the Queen?’

Australian royal commentator Daniela Elser said: ‘In only four years, the Sussexes have gone from being global darlings, resoundingly adored with desk drawers full of enterprising plans for charity projects, to reducing themselves to proto-Kardashians’.

[From The Daily Mail]

These people know as much about the docu-series as they do about Harry’s memoir: not a damn thing. They’re too busy telling on themselves to even understand that Harry and Meghan are in control. “But Harry said he hated camerassssssss!!” they wail. Yeah, he hates invasive media attention. He hates it when he and his pregnant wife are targeted by a national smear campaign. He hates it when he isn’t able to control it. He is a Virgo, after all.

Anyway, all of this drama and at the end of the day, I can’t wait to see how they do it and how the series is framed. I imagine it will be very work-focused and Archewell-focused. I hope there’s stuff in there about World Central Kitchen.

Photos courtesy of Avalon Red, Backgrid, Archewell, YouTube.